I'll Rape You Before You Rape Me!
Before humanity went completely to hell, wheat usually conjured up images of pure white flour, or endless golden fields rolling all the way to the horizon—vast, unbroken seas of grain under an open sky.
But just like the plums that tried to bite anyone who got near them, or the tomatoes that lunged for flesh, wheat that had never been properly domesticated was no different.
Crunch— crunch—
"H-hey! We were right in the middle of something good! Why the hell do you have to interrupt us now?!"
Four-legged beasts made of nothing but bundled straw lumbered forward, and every time their feet hit the ground, instead of a proper roar you got this soft, rustic rustle that somehow felt weirdly comforting. I had been seriously considering whether I should just stay tied up and take the elf's virgin pussy as payment when she glared at the approaching wheat herd with pure murder in her eyes. I stroked her ass and said,
"Looks like it's a bumper crop for wheat this year."
"Is that what you think you should be saying right now?! And why are you staring holes through my pussy and the hair down there while you talk?! Do something already—and stop groping my ass, you damn monkey!"
The elf twisted around to look back at me.
At the same time her enormous breasts swung in a spectacular arc that nearly slapped me across the face; I barely dodged them by a hair and shouted at her,
"That's dangerous!"
"Hmph. I know you're completely lost in my beauty, but try separating business from pleasure!"
"…What?"
"Just grab whatever we need already!"
While I was still sputtering, she unfurled the Magic Poncho that had been wrapped around her left hand.
"Look—Walkers are charging this way too! I don't know why, but this is no ordinary mess. Come on, hurry!"
"Ulp!"
She flung the poncho wide open, seized my hand, and yanked it straight into her chest.
"Pulling a sword out of someone's cleavage… I've seen that somewhere before."
"Stop joking around!"
Shove—
I shoved my hand in and started rummaging around.
Feeling things by touch alone wasn't enough, and curiosity got the better of me, so I just dunked my head and upper body straight into the Magic Poncho.
"What are you doing right n—"
"Oh."
The elf's voice cut off mid-sentence.
The inside and outside of the poncho were completely separate spaces that only connected at the opening; I turned my head this way and that, taking in an endless white room that stretched out of sight.
"This is a full-on war museum."
I'd known it served as her armory, but the sheer variety of weapons was beyond anything I'd imagined.
Naturally, the revolvers she loved were piled in one corner like a mountain. Off to one side sat rifles like Garands; another side held Tommy guns and assault rifles; and there were the heavy machine guns I'd been looking for—plus more.
"Whoa. I was wondering how she hauled that thing out. So this is where it came from."
There was even a tank gun masquerading as an anti-aircraft flak cannon—the Acht-Acht—standing in all its majestic glory with crates of shells stacked beside it.
Everything short of an actual tank was in here. I was still gawking around the elf's armory when she started smacking my ass.
I reluctantly pulled myself free, and the second I did she bellowed at me,
"What the hell are you doing sightseeing at a leisurely pace?! Hurry up and bring something already!"
"You know a heavy machine gun isn't something you just load and fire on the spot. You've got to check the headspace gauge, grab a spare barrel, and then—"
"Uuuugh…!!"
Seeing the elf staring anxiously at the wheat herd and Walkers closing in, I shoved my face back into the poncho and reached for the heavy machine guns I'd spotted earlier.
"Oh."
The instant I stretched out my hand, one of the machine guns drifted slowly toward me as if drawn by a magnet.
I'd pulled big weapons out of this place a few times before, but back then I'd just grabbed whatever was within reach and thought, ah, this must be it. I never imagined the whole thing was set up to fly over in response to the user's request.
"Hold on tight so it doesn't fall."
"Wait—?!"
Clack—!
I set the MG50 I'd grabbed onto the railing I'd just fixed, told the elf to hang onto it, then pulled out ammo and a spare barrel. I dug through the accessories laid out beside them and immediately fitted the headspace gauge.
"Press here and try dry-firing it."
"Here? I just push this? I-it doesn't make any sound when I press it…?"
"That's normal. Keep holding it. Fire when ready!"
"You're the one who should be shooting!"
After running through the checks a few times, I opened the ammo can, fed the belt, racked the charging handle hard, and called for her to open fire—only for the elf, who I'd expected to gleefully squeeze the trigger, to freak out and shake her head wildly.
"Don't tell me you're worried you won't even hit something this big…?"
"Ugh—w-who, me?! It's just that the person who usually does this is better at it, that's all! You don't actually think I can't hit something like this, do you?!"
Budadadada—
As if to prove me wrong, the elf jammed the trigger down with gusto.
A stream of muzzle flashes spat from the barrel and streaked toward the wheat herd—each one easily the size of an AT-AT from Star Wars—and the Walkers.
"Wow. You've got a real talent for this too. Missing something that huge?"
"Shut up! I-I'm a revolver specialist, okay?! This oversized hunk of metal that doesn't even fit my hands—"
But the rounds sailed wide of their targets as if they were deliberately avoiding them.
The elf's face went scarlet; she shrieked at me with tears welling in her eyes.
"You shoot it! You—ah?!"
"Hey now, don't drop it. Do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? You'll get hurt!"
True to form, she was about to chuck the gun in a fit of temper. I lunged in and wrapped my arms around her, clamping my hands over hers so she couldn't let go of the grips.
"Y-youuuu—?!"
"If we drop this I'll have to haul it out again and check the headspace all over—what a pain. I'll help you, so just try to shoot straight."
"I-it's touching me! Why is your cock still standing straight up like that?!"
"Says the one who's also pretty—"
"Hieek?!"
Poke—♡
I nudged the tip of my cock against her soaking-wet pussy, and she jerked in shock, thumping the back of her head against my collarbone.
"You rotten monkey! Trying to violate your master while we're in the middle of this?!"
"If it shows, there's not much I can do about it."
"The situation is this desperate and you're still blinded by nothing but breeding lust…♡"
Hot fluid poured down over my cock as it kept trading little bird-kisses with her entrance—schlick, schlick.
But she was right about one thing: the situation was urgent. I locked both of her hands firmly in mine, braced her body, and said,
"Shoot slowly. There's no point spraying it, and these rounds are so big they'll punch through just about anything anyway."
"As if you care what happens to me!"
Budada—
I held her up with my body and gripped her hands hard against the handles so she wouldn't lose her hold. Thick beads of sweat rolled down the nape of her neck as she squeezed the trigger.
Crash, crunch—!
A moment later a wheat beast toppled over with a massive hole blown clean through its torso.
Against the raw power of a .50-cal that could punch through decent cover, a creature that was nothing but oversized wheat didn't stand a chance. Of course it went down that easily.
The elf stared blankly at the crumpling wheat beast and murmured,
"Ah?! I-I hit it… For the first time, I hit it."
"Told you it was easy. How do you miss something that big? All right—next, the Walkers coming this way! Open fire!"
"Nnh…"
Schlorp—♡
Along with the gunfire, the elf slowly spread her legs to shoulder width—maybe for better stability—then suddenly shoved her ass straight back toward me.
"I hit it. I really hit it for the first time! You gave me a tiny bit of help, but I actually hit it! I'm hitting them!"
"…Yeah, you're definitely hitting something, just not what you think."
"What? Haaahn—w-what do you think you're doiiiing…♡"
Only when she heard the filthy wet sound coming from between her own thighs did the elf finally realize her pussy was lining itself up on my cock. She shrieked,
"It won't come off?!"
"How am I supposed to pull away? If I let go, Lady Celestin will start spraying bullets all over the place again. There's no way I'm letting go."
"D-don't be ridiculous. I could hit them just fine without your help, you kn—nnngh!"
Budada—
Another burst of gunfire rang out, and the pack of Walkers charging toward us all collapsed with huge holes punched through various parts of their bodies.
"I hit them again…!"
I'd hastily twisted the grips to correct the muzzle direction; otherwise we would have wasted precious ammo.
Maybe that little success had gotten her worked up.
Schlick—♡
Her ass pressed even harder back against me, trying to swallow my cock into her pussy. I gave her hips a light shove with my hand.
"Where do you think you're touching?! It still won't come off?!"
"Come off? No chance. We're staying glued together just like this."
"Just like this?! H-hnn… You're giving me a scrap of help and using it as an excuse to sneak in and take my virgin pussy—don't even dream of it!"
"H-huh?"
Push, gulp—♡
Suddenly the elf shoved her ass even farther back and declared,
"Getting my pussy taken by a monkey like you? Don't make me laugh. I-I have my pride—how dare you look down on me…!!"
"Um…?!"
As the hot folds of meat slowly swallowed my cock, I instinctively hugged her body tighter. The elf gave a satisfied little smile and slammed her hips back hard against me.
Thud—
In an instant my cock was sucked into her pussy, tearing straight through the hymen that had been waiting inside. Hot fluid ran down over my shaft as the elf turned a triumphant smile on me and spoke in a voice thick with pain and pleasure both.
"I'll rape you before you rape me! How does it feel? Having your cock forcibly defiled by my virgin membrane…♡"
"Nngh…?!"
Her pussy—already burning hot—clenched tight around my cock.
I immediately pulled her body into a firm embrace. She gasped out a scorching breath and squeezed her pussy around me with wet little pulses as she said,
"Recoil buffer's all set. Let's keep going!"
Schlorp—♡
With another squeeze of her pussy, the elf's finger pulled the trigger.