Strip It Off Right Now!
The lecture hall erupted into complete chaos the instant the living human fossil stepped inside.
“What the hell is that?”
“I thought he was a monkey beastkin!”
“Why does he have no fur?”
“If he had some fur, he might’ve looked decent…”
“?”
While the here-knight tribe—those who had never once opened their mouths unless necessary or when emotions weren’t high—sat perfectly still, the elves were already staring with wide eyes and chattering excitedly.
‘Not just elves… I’m being stared at like this…’
It should have been pure elf territory, yet a mix of other beastkin with ears and horns on top sat mixed in with the elves, filling the seats.
I had expected the entire hall to be filled with elves only, so this was quite the surprise.
“What are you standing around staring for? Come up here right now!”
“Uh, yes.”
The elf—Celestin—gripped my sleeve and dragged me up onto the podium with obvious impatience.
“By the way, how did you even survive? I heard humans went extinct after the Purification War.”
“Yeah, same here. I thought there were no survivors and that was why we only saw them as fossils.”
The students were still letting out loud exclamations of shock at my appearance, the unbelievable truth of my survival, and the fact that the supposed-extinct humans were right here, alive.
“Hmph, quiet! Everyone, please be quiet. I understand you’re surprised, but this is class time. If you already know everything and are just chatting about it, that’s no good. Since I’m going to review it anyway, just keep your mouths shut and your ears open!”
“Yeah, even though you say you don’t discriminate by race, you sure do act like it.”
“What?”
I had thought she only showed her true self at home, but the moment she climbed the podium she was still an elf.
But no matter how much of a professor she was, such blatant insults were questionable, so I glanced at the students.
“Professor Celestin is here!”
“Heh, her thighs must be trembling!”
“Even though she’s spewing the most vulgar things, she still has that hidden elegance that can’t be hidden! How can someone so noble still do this?”
‘Crazy bastards.’
To enter this academy you needed excellent grades and multiple interviews, I had heard. What kind of interviewers had let these idiots through?
Instead of being surprised by the elf’s words, the elf students and beastkin were genuinely ecstatic in the most ordinary way, so I couldn’t help shaking my head.
The future of the union was going to be bright!
I would never want to leave the western wasteland where the elves lived!
“Stand still there. Don’t cause trouble. If you try that home trick of taking your pants off and doing a samba, I’ll really kill you.”
“Yeah, but that’s not a samba. It’s a techno dance. I’ll stay quiet.”
I stood obediently at attention right next to the lectern like a scarecrow while the last elf who still looked suspicious at me let out a fake cough and picked up her textbook.
“Most of the students here seem to have familiar faces, so it looks like you all took my class before I took a break. I don’t know why you’re still not graduating and wasting time here.”
“Professor, we were on leave until you returned!”
“I wanted to continue, but my family said I could take a three-year break, so I had no choice but to come back…!”
For some reason, our elf was popular.
Especially with the female students.
Unlike the elves who had smooth, slim bodies with no places to grow, our elf had a long, bouncy, stylish figure, so maybe they were jealous.
‘If she just stays quiet, she really is a beauty who can’t be outdone by anyone.’
While the gazes of the male students were those of guys checking out a beauty, most of the female students had the eyes of extreme fans staring at their idol singers.
“Quiet! I’m talking right now! Anyway, for those of you who are hearing this lecture for the first time, this class is about the culture, habits, ecology, and everything else of the humans who created the most prosperous civilization on this land before the Purification War and then vanished from here along with it. This is not a time for me to steal your chest, you damn beast!”
“Aigo!”
Ta-rang!
“Kyaa?!”
“Hiiik?!”
By the way, I wasn’t the one stealing the chest.
I could see plenty at home—why was she whipping herself up into such a frenzy here?
The elf quickly pulled out her revolver to make it clear who she was pointing at and fired. The bullet screamed through the air and, with a lewd glint in her eye, punched a hole straight through the desk of one of the beastkin who had been ogling her chest.
The startled beastkin jumped up and fled out the window, but the elf didn’t care; she scratched something onto the attendance sheet as if nothing had happened.
It looked like she had just expelled the one who ran away.
Then, startled by the thunderous noise, the students covered their ears and trembled as the elf spun the revolver around on her finger while aiming at the trigger.
“This is one of the weapons humans used. Unlike us who fight with magic and natural physical ability, humans invented weapons for war despite having no physical capabilities at all.”
“Wow, I saw it!”
“It was faster than magic—before I could say ‘ah,’ there was a hole in the desk!”
“Magic? It’s faster than arrows!”
The surprise only lasted a moment. Before anyone could react, the students’ eyes sparkled with admiration at the astonishing power of the magic staff the elf had just revealed.
Satisfied, the elf neatly holstered her revolver and pointed straight at me.
“Humans who ruled this land as its masters while carrying this terrifying weapon—how exactly did they live? What kind of civilization did they have? What did they eat? It’s time to learn everything.”
Because of the performance the elf had just shown, the gazes directed at me were extremely heavy.
I could almost feel them saying, “He’s going to pull out a repulsor cannon like Iron Man and fire it from this spot,” and it was incredibly uncomfortable.
“First, let’s find out what a human is—what they look like and what physical features they have. Before that, however, we need to verify whether this worthless enemy I brought—the human—is truly human!”
“…?”
Something felt off about the situation?
The heat of the already overheated emotions had made me sweat profusely, and now it made me break out into even thicker beads of sweat.
And at that exact moment, a hand grabbed the hem of my shirt.
“What are you doing? Touching me where?!”
“You’re the one who’s doing what?! Strip it off right now! Honestly, I was half-suspicious lately too. I wanted to know if you were really a human or a monkey! Strip it off! Strip it off!”
“No, this is insane—”
Before I could resist, the elf tore my top clean off.
I had thought the elf’s actions would be normal because she was an elf, but this sudden groping left me speechless.
“Wait, your muscles are really well defined, and even with the sweat making them shine…!”
“What? Why are your eyes like that.”
Was it just my imagination?
For a moment I felt the same overwhelming gaze Dyna and Nemea had given me.
“Hmph, doing something like this again! If you don’t strip it off, I’ll really punish you for the sake of academic progress—sacrificing your body for the advancement of knowledge!”
“What did I do?!”
Still unable to get my top back, I stood there in just my pants as the elf began waving a pointer stick at me the way teachers use to indicate the blackboard.
“Look, you see? Humans aren’t that different from us. Without continuous training like this, their physical abilities would be inferior to ours, right?”
“Stop poking my nipple!”
“Why are you hitting someone else’s nipple so hard?”
I grumbled at the elf’s obvious sadism, but she stepped on my instep and whispered, “Be quiet. I’m teaching right now.”
“No…”
Before I could protest, the elf lifted her foot from my instep and turned to the students.
“Then how did humans survive in this world! There are several factors, but the first is sweat!”
The elves’ eyes sparkled with passion as she spoke.