Mom, We'll Go Bankrupt Again Like This

"Phew... Thank goodness it ended at just this much...."

The girl who'd once been Lee Ha-neul—now Lee Haru—quickly shut the window and wiped the beak of the Crimson Parrot, which had grown from sparrow to parrot size.

"Sowwy, Momma peep! I won't go out on my own peep!!"

It was too soon to relax. Haru searched the internet for "Crimson Parrot".

'As I suspected, no Crimson Parrots in the towers.'

Back in her Ramji days, when she trailed hero parties, the last Crimson Parrots she'd seen were the gatekeepers at Maou Castle. They could mimic not just voices but forms and skills of other creatures, making them executive-level threats, but the heroes had sliced them up. As a souvenir, someone had given Ramji an egg from their nest, asking her to fry it up later. That egg had followed her back here, hatched, devoured the food scraps from the trash—Haru's spit-soaked instant noodles and all her bodily fluids—and transformed into a massive firebird.

"How'd this guy learn polymorph right after hatching?"

"I dunno peep!"

Its parrot voice sounded just like Haru's helium-slurred speech—super annoying. She considered ditching it...

...but at Level 1, it was way too strong for that.

'Is this the power of my bodily fluids?'

"Limited-time launch bonus? So what do I feed it now?"

The beauty-shaped Cooking Specialized AI Yui floating beside Haru began searching.

"But it's already full-grown... and it loved the instant noodles."

"Instant noodles yummy!! More instant noodles peep!!!"

"No way!! Gotta eat balanced!"

"Okay Mom!!"

'Surprisingly obedient? Just Mom and me here, so raising it should be fine.'

"Um..."

Come to think of it, she hadn't named the bird yet.

With her AI level still at 1, it only spat out dad-joke-level names that were way too long.

'Total trash...'

"Parrot's too basic... It turned into a firebird, so Elmu! That's your name now."

It evoked kimchi somehow, and felt like something you could see for free every day.

"Okay Mom peep!!!"

"Elmu. This spot to here is your house—no going out on your own!!"

"House??!!"

"This is your nest!!! Where you eat, play, and sleep!"

"Got it!!!!"

Flapping its wings against the ceiling was adorable.

'Wait. Can it polymorph into my form??'

Despite the baby talk, Crimson Parrots had the intelligence to guard Maou Castle gates.

'If it learns cooking and polymorphs into me...?'

She could chill at home while sending polymorph-Elmu to the restaurant?? It sounded ridiculous, but she'd raise it a bit and take it to an easy tower for leveling.

With Elmu calmly flitting about, Haru skimmed Hunter Gallery posts from the tower collapse a year ago.

Towers had appeared on Earth about a year ago. Hunter jobs were simple—warriors, mages, snipers, assassins—but now cooks, alchemists, blacksmiths were added. Cook jobs probably buffed with monster meat dishes. Just like her and her disciples' abilities back on Solas Continent as Ramji.

"So nothing's really changed..."

Swoosh. Elmu flew over and licked the sweat off Haru's back with its beak and tongue.

"Tickles..."

With God's Droplets, better than Solas days? But... what's the definition of bodily fluids?? Don't tell me...'

"Gahhh."

She didn't want to think about it, but Yui blabbed on cluelessly.

"Don't brain-break me when I haven't even tasted it."

"Stop... I think I'm gonna hurl."

"Gonna hurl!!! Gonna hurl!!!!"

Bzzz!! As her head started spinning, a vibration came from the old sofa. Not Haru's phone—her brother (now big bro) Lee Ha-seong lived in a small villa with his wife, so it was Mom's phone. If not for her helium-short tongue, she'd answer, but it was still tough.

"You're out of your mind..."

Her past-life slacker self had muddled through, but with 50 years of cooking XP, this Lee Haru was different. Unsure how much help this body could be...

"Let's head to the restaurant."

Peeking at Mom's phone, Haru's eyes narrowed.

"Calling for A/S appearance?"

Late August 2026. Five months after Health Restaurant Korea featured their diner and got trashed, another episode with four nearby restaurants aired—including the rival grilled mackerel joint close by. Haru recalled it because they were rivals. Bulpae Pochaa's staples were Slippery Pork Stir-fry and other Korean dishes; the rival's were mackerel but overlapped on other Korean fare. They hadn't started bad—tension began when Haru's bro dated then dumped the mackerel owner's daughter before marrying his current wife.

In Health Restaurant, when new spots were near past ones, they gave "after-service" carrots to soothe the old ones. Their family diner episode was legendary—for bad reasons—pushing Shin Do-young's channel past 3 million subs. For buzz, they'd want a reappearance, but past-life Mom refused. Knowing the future, Haru agreed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it was smart. She wanted zero ties with Shin Do-young or Seong Chan-ho.

Beep! Beep!!! Door lock beeps. Before Haru could command, Elmu wing-opened the door and hid in her closet.

'Whoa??? Pretty smart...'

50 years since mother-child reunion, but Mom would freak seeing this body. Haru'd planned her cover over instant noodles.

Female Lee Haru. A returnee from a tower-awakener world. Had to go public somewhat, but hide the 50 Solas years cooking. No similar returnees in interviews from tower collapses on communities or YouTube. Tower collapse: ignore a tower too long, anomalies hit the area. Non-awakened summoned inside die, or to upper floors as boss toys. Most die, but some escape via boss whims. Or trapped in puzzle/time/mental rooms—higher survival if solved/endured.

In a tower-less-than-1-year world, a 50+ year Isekai returnee? Instant red flag. Plan: pretend mental/time room victim for "a few years," learned cooking there.

Creeeak!! The door opened, and Park Sun-ja entered.

"Haru up yet...? Huh! Who are you!!!"

Pre-stroke Mom from ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠past life was still spry.

"Uh... Mom!!!"

"Don't come closer!"

"It's me, Lee Ha-neul!"

"...How am I supposed to believe that?? Did you steal Haru's wallet???"

"No.... Sniff... Waaah!!"

Seeing her after decades choked her up; this treatment made her tear up.

Her head script tangled; with a girl's heart now, Haru started sniffling.

"I was scawed you'd hate me, so I came hewe instead of the powice station!!"

"Calm down, little one! But proof you're my son..."

"Pwroof? Want me to teww you how Seong Chan-ho and those two bastards twained me? The edited mentow..."

Only after spilling the un-aired Seong Chan-ho "mental training" moment from YouTube did Park Sun-ja accept her son was now a loli girl.

"So... night shift in Bundang, caught in tower collapse???"

"Yeah. But learned cooking in the mental/time room—I'm pretty useful now."

"Sorry for doubting... You really are Haru."

Sun-ja knew Haru faked work to hit PC bangs. The lie proved it was him. "Learned cooking"? Probably bluff. That fragile body in the kitchen an hour? Better leverage the looks for cash.

'Why insist on cooking???'

Most mental/time room survivors ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠got mental issues. Her kid was smart but lazy and scheming. Tower trauma changed that? Half-doubting, Sun-ja headed to Bulpae Pochaa with daughter (formerly son).

"Oh yeah, Mom. I brought my pet too. Elmu, come out!!!"

"Is it safe Momma peep???"

"Oh my!! Look at that fur—emerald green.... Name's Elmu?"

"This is my mom. Your grandma—don't attack!"

Worried Elmu'd act up alone, Haru bagged it for the restaurant.

'Rooftop storage unused—park it there.'

The mother-daughter duo arrived at the family diner Bulpae Pochaa on the second floor of a two-story building. Elmu stashed in rooftop storage, Haru looked motivated, but Sun-ja expected little. Already disappointed in jobless Haru, she'd emptied her hopes. With few customers, just basic kitchen help or serving.

But.

Haru replicated her pork stir-fry set perfectly, shocking Sun-ja.

'Copied after seeing just twice???'

"Whoa~"

Perched precariously on a short stool, shaking the wok two-handed, dodging flames rising to her face like a pro.

"Okay! Got the wok vibe."

She'd cleared tables for solo lunch rush, but Haru's help breezed through peak without strain. Post-rush, Sun-ja made her daughter a pork set.

"Haven't had this in forever."

"How long trapped?? Don't wanna say, don't."

"Few years? Mmm~~"

Haru picking at it cutely—must've snacked home.

"Exactly as expected..."

"Hehe. Special after so long?"

"Not my taste."

"Huh???"