Buldak Ramen Blues and the Fiery Parrot Awakening
Lee Haru, who had returned to Earth transformed into a little girl who even made monsters call her "mommy," was boiling Buldak bokkeum myeon with the help of her cooking AI, Yui.
But it's amazing. All the noodles and ingredients fit in this one tiny packet.
'This only costs about a thousand won per pack.'
??? A thousand won???
The holographic beauty, who looked like she had exhibitionist tendencies with only her important bits covered, had question marks floating over her head.
'That's about 1 silver in isekai terms.'
Yui knew Earth cuisine but wasn't familiar with modern Earth civilization, so Haru decided to teach her as backup. In the webnovels Ha-neul had read in her past life, AIs were connected to computers. But Yui was now at level 1 junk status, so that might be too much—instead, Haru turned on the TV news channel.
"Watch this and learn how Earth works."
Got it!!
At the word "learning," glasses appeared on Yui's face, and she floated over to the TV.
...Learning in progress...
In the meantime, the two packs of noodles were fully boiled. The proper way was to drain them in a colander, but that was a hassle, so Haru decided to scoop them out with the ladle. Past-life Ha-neul or Ramji could have managed it, but... with her loli wrists like chopsticks, it was impossible.
"Kyaaack!!!"
The pot tipped over, but most of the noodles survived.
"Dya-haeng-iya..."
She rinsed the portion that spilled into the sink and put it back in.
"Hmm... The spicy sauce is strong anyway, so achoo!!! It'll kill the germs, right??"
And with that, the Buldak bokkeum myeon was complete.
"Calling it Kkalbol Buldak feels off... but with this body, original recipe's too much anyway."
She comforted herself like that and slurped up a big chopstickful. The crude yet delicious spicy flavor packed with capsaicin hit her.
But the pleasure didn't last.
"Waaack! So spicy!!!!!"
She bolted to the fridge and grabbed some expired milk wedged between soju and a can of beer.
One chopstickful, one swig of milk—then she dropped the chopsticks.
"How do I deal with the rest of this!!"
Pop!!
Yui, who had been learning, appeared in front of her.
It's okay!! Haru is a baby now, so pick one of these two methods!
'She already finished learning...? What am I??'
"I'm not a baby."
Super Scaredy-Cat Method: Add milk and one or two slices of cheese to the leftover Buldak, simmer it down, and it'll taste like creamy pasta!!
UT1 Newbie Method: Add corn kernels, mayo, sugar, and cheese, cover the pot, and wait 1~1.5 minutes!!
Thinking of sweet corn cheese made saliva drool from Haru's mouth.
"The UT1 newbie one's betta..."
She pulled out the corn can and mayo, and a red glow highlighted the right amount of corn kernels—one of Yui's functions to show exact portions.
Once cooking was done, Yui returned to the TV. Learning wasn't fully complete yet.
"So full..."
Finishing two packs was too much; about half was left. It was so saliva-soaked it looked like soupy ramen now, no good for later.
The sweet-spicy harmony of corn cheese suited Haru's ruined tastes perfectly, making her drool like a dog. Embarrassed someone might see, she dumped it in the food waste bin.
Gurgle gurgle!
"Uwaaaah..."
Maybe Buldak was too much for this body—her stomach hurt like it was ripping, and she dashed to the bathroom.
"Kkyaack! My butt's on fire!!!"
Splash. Everything(?) came out, but she couldn't relax and stayed on the toilet.
"With my body like this, can I even do complex cooking?"
No choice but stocks and investments now. Haru racked her brain and recalled a theme stock her brother mentioned.
"JaxsonMobil..."
She searched JaxsonMobil on her phone. An energy-themed US stock that should be bottoming out—but there was a random article.
"What's a tower collapse??"
Weeee-ooooh!!!!! A blaring siren like from the military suddenly filled the house.
'Not civil defense drill time...'
This is a real situation!!! Giant Golem Appears Due to Tower Collapse in Eastern Seoul!!!
"Golem???"
Residents of XX District XX Dong: Head to underground bunkers. All others: Avoid going out.
"Uwaaaah!!!!"
Haru's villa wasn't affected, but the first-time shock made her bolt from the bathroom and curl up. The Crimson Parrot chick at home peeped peepily, but terror blinded her to the sparrow-sized parrot.
Danger has been eliminated. Repeating...
Peeking out the open window, everyone walked like nothing happened.
'Was I the only one scared??'
Such a big incident would blow up YouTube and underground communities. Even top-traffic galleries were calm.
Searching "golem" brought up a new gallery.
"Hunter Gallery???"
Exploring it clarified everything.
"No way!! My money's honey pot!!!"
This Earth had towers and hunters unlike her past life— no guarantees on investments.
"Parallel world... If monsters are in towers, I can recreate my recipes?"
Some Solas Continent monsters existed in towers. She could recall recipes and cook...
"They turn to dust on death."
Common knowledge: tower monsters left no meat or byproducts.
As despair hit, a status window appeared before Haru.
In 24 hours, all towers on Earth will upgrade to <Hardcore> difficulty.
Thirst, hunger, sleep needs, and more constraints will be added inside towers. In exchange, you'll obtain various useful materials from monsters!
New jobs added: Alchemist, Blacksmith, Cook
Not just Haru got it—TV news and global communities exploded.
Congratulations!! You will awaken as an Awakener within 24 hours!!
Based on your experience, you qualify as a sub-admin (aka "Padak") for the <Cooking Gallery> where cooks from various dimensions gather! Accept for special privileges!!
Many got the first message like Haru, but none the second.
'Special privileges... If they gave back my isekai recipe data, perfect...'
If rewards sucked, she'd slack off as Padak—accepted for now.
"I accept!"
What trait would she get??
God's Droplets
Rank: ???
By the Goddess of Gastronomy's blessing, your bodily fluids (sweat, saliva, blood, secretions, etc.) gain special effects!! Effects double in food, varying by owner's condition.
Caution: Does not apply to self!!
"Eh, decent..."
Isn't this a pretty good trait??
Her saying that confirmed Yui was still level 1.
"Effects change with my condition. Even good sauce varies taste constantly—how do I use that???"
Key to food business: consistent quality for customers.
It said effects are added, not flavors??
"Too chef-brained?? Hmm... Could add buff effects too."
Maybe both.
Still risky. If upper hunter echelons found out...
'Basement, tubes in every hole extracting saliva, sweat, blood, piss, s...
"Hieeek!!!"
For now, try small amounts in big broths.
Pop!
Concentrated Holy Water
Explanation: You haven't abused God's Droplets for a long time. Until someone receives its blessing, buff effects increase enormously (tens to hundreds of times)!
Like mocking her quiet test, this passive appeared.
"Then... who do I feed it to? No effect on me."
First thought: family.
"Mom's too old, bro's unappealing... No, gotta be hunters anyway."
No loss holding it—think slowly.
Contribute to gallery activity (posts, comments, etc.) to earn 50 GP (Gallery Point)!
☐ Earn 50 GP — [0/50]
🎁 Reward: GP-to-cash conversion function
Goddess made the Cooking Gallery, gave trait, now quested since no gal.
"20,000 per GP?? Generous for stingy goddess. 1 mil on completion."
"Show honey, emergency patch incoming."
Max farm till then. Good mood on Earth—ID: FreedomAtLast.
Board showed fantasy lifeforms uncorrupted by internet.
"Still mostly Solas Continent folks."
Now Earthling Haru lurked anonymously, answering questions, empathizing crap posts, farming GP.
"5 posts, 12 GP??"
Comments that influence galleries much get bonus points.
"Like Silver Hog prep??"
Calm vibe unlike Earth galleries, no dopamine rush. Still some spice.
"That's Alicia-like."
Obsessed with Ramji/Haru's food, unpredictable. If dimension travel easy, Ramji wouldn't stayed 50 years...
'Needs exclusive bodyguard.'
Even if she comes, Earth's got hunters, and Haru's a girl now—no finding you.
Shaking off chills, clicked another.
Already distant from wife, saw this beauty—pants tightened lol^^ (Sneaky pic of green long-haired woman in Seongsu-gu)
-------------------
"This girl's still alive??"
Koruna, ex-Demon Army exec familiar to Haru. Betrayed Maou, used Ramji as exclusive chef weeks—deep gourmet passion.
"Aish, 50GP when?! Huh, this fun."
Nothing post-retirement, opened near warp gate—flies only. Warp gates busy, right??
Name: Retired Knight Restaurant
Menu/Prices: Tauros Brisket Kalguksu, Red Phoenix Kalguksu, Tadpole Noodles, Bibim Guksu, Tauros Bulgogi Onigiri, Red Phoenix Fried Gyoza, Ham & Egg Toast Nostalgia, Tauros Bone Soup, Tadpole Fry, Bibimbap, Phoenix Spicy Skewers
What's wrong??
OP was Talis, knight captain Haru/Ramji owed much.
"Uncle, don't start biz, enjoy retirement..."
Prime spot, poured cash wrong. Bountied unique ring Tears of the Goddess—+5 all stats newbie OP, but dimension-locked.
High views/comments = efficient GP farm.
Gullible uncle worse if followed.
"Warp gate = families/groups, can't cut blindly."
Seconds later, rebuttal.
"Ha... Be flexible, I taught..."
"What this guy."
"Ah, that trash goblin??"
Remembered, scratched for GP.
That sparked 1st-gen Ramji worshippers vs 2nd-gen cooks flame war, comments flooded.
Not about loyalty—GP mattered.
"Point cap per post. 11 more... what now?"
Aggro bait hit.
"...Think troll posts."
Got it. But I'm cooking AI—don't expect much!
Winter prep stch??
Worked—HowsMyNose & Ramji cult raged blasphemy.
48 Hours
"Pffft!! Close call. Thought fantasy kids boring, gotta visit sometimes~"
Grinning to convert GP... weird noise from boiler room.
"Spicy peep!! Tasty peep!! More peep!!!!"
Crimson Parrot chick dug saliva Buldak from trash, body red, evolving to adult.
"What the???"
Crunch munch!!!! Excited parrot licked sweat off Haru's body with beak and tongue.
"Ahahaha!!! S-stop!!! Tickles!!! Not there...
Parrot power despite parrot size—Haru flattened starfish.
Sweat done, flew to toilet, dunked face in.
'Did I pee...? No way...!!!!'
Haru's imagination real.
"Why eat that say!!!"
One received enormous effects—'Passive: Concentrated Holy Water' vanished!!
"Mommy yummy peep!!!! Body... too hot zzzac!!!"
Overpowered Crimson Parrot flew out open window.
Fwoooosh!!!!!
Grew Solas Vermilion Bird size, spewed fire at sky.
"No way!!! Behave you bird!!!!"
Dyed sky red tens seconds, folded wings at her word.
Then normal parrot, teleported to Haru's arms like nothing.