A World Still Worth Living In (2)
When I went downstairs, the children were swarming around Zeta, chattering at full volume. She stood at the center of the commotion with the corners of her mouth faintly lifted, playing along with them.
Or rather, it was less “playing” and more like patiently enduring their typical one-sided barrage of childish chatter.
“Big sis, your hair is so cool! I want hair just like yours!”
“Minji, are you a goldfish? Why do you say the exact same thing every single time you see Zeta noona?”
“Shut it, Minwoo. I wasn’t talking to you.”
“You…! I’m telling Sister Veronica you used a bad word!”
Minji on the left, Minwoo on the right. The two siblings had each claimed a spot beside her, and despite how it looked, they were actually acting as buffers.
Maybe it was because of her white hair and red eyes, but Zeta always drew every child’s attention whenever she visited. The Min siblings kept the others from crowding too close and bothering her by maintaining a careful distance.
Thanks to them, an invisible barrier seemed to form around Zeta, letting her peacefully sip her tomato juice through a straw.
“Big sis…! Minwoo’s picking on me! He said the bad word first!”
“Minwoo, you shouldn’t treat your little sister that way.”
Zeta, who had been savoring her tomato juice in a pleasantly shaded spot with a cool breeze, spoke up. The moment she did, Minji—who was riding on Zeta’s back—proudly planted her hands on her hips and added her own verdict.
“You shouldn’t!”
“Ugh…!”
Minwoo’s face crumpled with injustice. He clearly wanted to snap back at the annoying girl in front of him, but he knew it would only hurt himself, so he stayed frozen.
Zeta glanced at his expression, then gently scolded Minji.
“You’re the same, Minji. Even so, Minwoo’s your big brother. Telling him to shut up was a little too harsh.”
“Gasp…”
This time it was Minji’s turn to look shocked. Right then, Mother Maria and I made our presence known, and the little girl’s face darkened. For a seven-year-old, her range of expressions was impressively dramatic.
“M-Minwoo! Let’s make up! I was wrong!”
“What? That’s hilarious. You’re doing that thing again, aren’t you? That… what was it? I saw it on the news—some kind of peace treaty or whatever!”
“That’s not it…! I really meant it every time!”
Minji was desperately signaling with her eyes while Minwoo, completely oblivious, kept talking. Only after Mother Maria cleared her throat did he snap back to reality.
“That’s bullsh— Mother Maria, hello! Minji and I were just having a friendly chat. Zeta noona can be our witness.”
“Our Minwoo can lie without even batting an eye. As the scriptures say, siblings are born for times of crisis. Every time you two fight, I worry your relationship will break beyond repair.”
“…But we are siblings.”
Minwoo answered cautiously, reading the room after Mother Maria’s gentle suggestion that a little bickering was fine. Minji, meanwhile, slapped her forehead in disbelief. We watched the children and let out soft chuckles.
“The fact that you speak your mind so freely tells me that if Minwoo had been born in the old days, he would have made a fine loyal subject.”
“Really? Then what about now?”
“What can I say? These days he’s just asking for a good knock on the head.”
“Eek! No thank you!”
When Mother Maria pretended to deliver a knuckle to his skull, Minwoo bolted. For the record, the director nun had never actually used corporal punishment. It was all just for show.
Once the commotion finally died down, both Zeta’s and Minji’s eyes turned toward me.
“I’ve been waiting, Hyunwoo.”
“Sorry. Did you wait long?”
Zeta quietly shook her head at my question, then stroked Minji’s hair. The little girl’s eyes had gone droopy. Soon Minji came running and clung tightly to my leg.
“Oppa! Are you leaving today?”
“Yeah. Looks like it. If I head out today I can finish sorting the luggage in my room. Not that I have much to begin with.”
“……”
Instead of answering, Minji only hugged my leg harder. The Min siblings hadn’t been at the orphanage long. They still weren’t used to goodbyes.
There probably wasn’t a single child here who wasn’t pitiable in some way, but Minji and Minwoo felt especially heartbreaking because they had grown so attached to us.
In a situation like this, there was only one thing I could say.
“I’ll visit often.”
“…You promise?”
“Yes, I promise. Every weekend? Or even on weekdays—if you call, I’ll come.”
Minji thought for a moment, then shook her head. Looking up at me, she spoke again.
“I don’t want to bother you, oppa… Just promise me one thing.”
“A promise? What is it?”
“If you go out and settle down somewhere. If you settle down really well… can you come take me and Minwoo with you?”
I have no idea what my face looked like in that moment. All I know is that Minji quickly added, “I don’t hate it here or anything,” and “It’s just a hope,” so I can only imagine my expression wasn’t pleasant.
This is why affection is terrifying. More precisely, giving it is terrifying. If it had been someone I had no connection with, someone I could be certain I’d never see again, any empty promise would have rolled off my tongue without this heavy feeling in my chest.
I didn’t even know what my own future held. How could I tell them to simply trust me and wait?
I knew the pain of hollow promises better than anyone. And seeing the bitter look that crossed Mother Maria’s face only made it worse.
While I hesitated, unable to give a careless answer, Zeta spoke up instead. Her tone made it sound like the most casual thing in the world.
“Sure. If you listen well to Mother Maria here, noona will come get you.”
“Really?!”
“Noona doesn’t lie. But you know it can’t be right away, right? You’ll have to wait a little while.”
“I can wait! Waiting is what I’m best at!”
Minji bounced up and down with joy. Minwoo, who had run off earlier, had crept back and was celebrating with her.
I shot Zeta a look that asked whether it was okay to say something like that so lightly, but she returned a gaze that said there was no problem at all.
“I have a lot of money.”
It was such an absurd answer, yet somehow it felt completely believable.
I had never seen proof that Zeta was actually rich, but the fact that she said it was enough to make me grateful.
Zeta and I had known each other for nearly fifteen years now. Our connection had begun at that first orphanage and continued unbroken ever since.
No matter which orphanage I moved to or which school I transferred into, Zeta Beatrix always followed. For a while I genuinely believed she was an orphan like me, but I soon learned that wasn’t the case.
She followed me openly, without the slightest attempt to hide it. During the worst of my chuunibyou phase, it even made me wonder if there was some secret bloodline I didn’t know about.
I mean, who would follow a plain orphan boy across regions? Especially a beautiful girl with white hair and red eyes.
When I finally realized it had all been my misunderstanding, the embarrassment was so crushing that I seriously considered jumping off the roof.
Who could have guessed it was simply because the areas where her family’s business was expanding overlapped?
I still didn’t know what kind of business it was. Back then I had been too ashamed to ask for details, and even now I had never brought it up.
Besides, I didn’t possess any special powers. World-shaking abilities? Nonsense. I was lucky if I didn’t catch a cold after getting caught in the rain.
Anyway, after drifting from region to region like that, I had no friends nearby. The only familiar face was hers, so somehow we ended up together, and that had continued to this day.
I couldn’t blend in with kids my age because I was an orphan. Zeta couldn’t blend in because of her striking appearance. It was only natural that we paired up. Many people approached us out of curiosity at first, but for some reason, after a few days they would start pretending they couldn’t see us and quietly keep their distance.
The only thing I knew for sure was that Zeta’s family was quite wealthy. I once suspected her parents might be the anonymous sponsors, but in fifteen years I had never once met any of her family, so I had no way of learning more.
While I was watching Zeta, she and Mother Maria began talking.
“Take good care of Hyunwoo, Zeta.”
“Yes, don’t worry. I’ll look after him just like always.”
“Sigh, I truly think it’s a blessing that you’re here. Without you, Hyunwoo would have been sold off somewhere the moment he stepped outside.”
I stood there silently while they talked about me like I was an idiot. My body and mind had finished growing long ago, yet the two of them still looked at me as if I were a child left alone by the water’s edge.
Besides, wasn’t Zeta the same age as me? She was even shorter than I was—how could she answer so casually?
Despite her sharp features, she was such a klutz. If anything, I had been the one taking care of her. She had never taken care of me.
When I sent them a protesting stare, Mother Maria clicked her tongue.
“You’re still young, so you don’t understand. Do you think it’s easy to find someone like Zeta? Stop talking nonsense and hurry up and carry those boxes out.”
“Wait, earlier you told me to stay longer.”
She had called me “son” and held me back before, but now she was practically kicking me out. Whether I was dumbfounded or not, Mother Maria was busy prying the Min siblings off Zeta.
The way they all fit together somehow looked like a real family. I smiled faintly and looked up at the sky. As always, the clear blue heavens greeted me.
Staring at that high, open sky—as if it were blessing the road ahead—my heart felt lighter.
“I’ll be going now.”
Light enough that I could say goodbye without it weighing on me.