The Scent of Ruin
I don't understand the purpose of this sex. If it's simply a continuation of what we've been doing until now, it's gone too far. One-sided, forced intercourse. Movements that bring no satisfaction, no rhythm. The occasional moans that twist from her lips grate on my nerves. What if my niece hears? How much soundproofing can these flimsy old doors in this cramped house provide? I have no excuses prepared. The victory cry has already sounded. I'd told her she could do whatever she wanted.
'Maybe... No. It must be because of that.'
It's obvious. Who is she performing for? Deliberately exaggerating. Deliberately being rougher. Deliberately leaving marks. The raw, musky scent of a man and woman begins to permeate the living room. Mina was destroying the space where my niece and I had lived together, using overflowing evidence as her weapon.
'Well, that's true. I'm the one who's been busy spewing lies, after all.'
What right do I have to act so high and mighty? I'm nothing but trash who should be on his knees begging for forgiveness. Whether Mina climbs on top of me, whether she strangles my neck, even if she cuts off my breath—what does it matter? Besides, Mina is sharp. I've been under her surveillance for so long that I know her keen foresight all too well. No matter what I say, it would only come across as a clumsy excuse, so I'd chosen to keep my mouth shut... but she must have realized long ago that I couldn't focus on this moment.
“Haah. Haah. Haah. Haah... Haah.”
Her once-breathy moans gradually drop in pitch. The hips that had been bucking wildly slow down. Only the gaze boring into me grows sharper, clearer. Kiss after kiss. Unlike before, their destination is different.
“Oppa, this is the shirt I bought you. I'll buy you another one, so just bear with it. Stay still.”
I tried to push her away by shifting my body, but it was useless. On every collar. On every sleeve. Anywhere a mark might show if I stayed still. Mina's lips diligently left their traces. As if for someone beyond the door to see. As if for someone beyond the door to hear. Who the hell are you to make me care? This is mine. My thing. That's why she was doing it so blatantly...
“Haaah... Haah. Good. Oppa.”
Her voice was embarrassingly sweet. Then her volume suddenly rose, as if calling my niece to come out. I hastily covered her mouth, and only then did a smile—whether mockery or something else—appear at the corners of her eyes.
“Now you're finally reacting. Pay attention, Assistant Manager Kim. Oppa. You don't even know how many months it's been since we last did this.”
“If you weren't doing these insane things, I could focus. I've told you countless times to do it somewhere else if you want it that bad. What the hell are you trying to do?”
“The one who doesn't react no matter how many times I say it is you, Oppa. Every time I asked you to make some time, you always used your niece as an excuse to avoid me. Does having sex with you make your niece's grades drop? Are you two connected somehow? Seriously, anyone listening would think it's not your niece but your own child taking the Suneung.”
“So, does this make you feel better now? Since things are going your way?”
“No. It doesn't feel good at all. It actually makes me angrier. Watching you like this just makes my chest feel even tighter.”
Mina shoved me hard. As I lay back against the sofa, she rose from me and pushed her crotch toward my face.
“Stop complaining and just satisfy me properly. Please. Why do you always try to paint me as the bad guy, Oppa? I understand that you've been focused on your niece until now. I acknowledge it. I'm just taking back the man I've been lending out and claiming him for myself, so why do you keep acting so annoying? So just... huh? Oppa. Please.”
Mina's words were both earnest and oppressive. They were hard to accept. I knew what she wanted, but meeting those expectations felt overwhelming. Yes, I know. I know what you want. I know what I should do. But the buttons in my heart were already twisted. I could see the obvious outcome, yet I couldn't give a clear answer and was only dragging things out.
My niece... even now, my niece... more and more. My feelings for her had grown. Even though I tried not to see her as a woman, it wasn't working. I think I'm going crazy too. If she told me to die, I'd rather die. If only I could tear this heart to shreds—this heart that only beats for my niece—and throw it away where no one would ever find it. If only my niece could just...
Haah. 'I'm doing something terrible to Mina too.'
In truth, there had been signs. Even before I met my niece, cracks had begun to show in our relationship. The constant pressure I'd always felt. The burden. The suspicion that we wouldn't make it to the end. She was the kind of woman who believed that as long as it was for love, anything was allowed. She couldn't tolerate me even speaking to another woman, no matter who she was. Taking away my phone. Controlling my time. All because she loved me. Why couldn't I understand her feelings? If this was obsession, what did other people do? She told me not to bring up the past. That she was doing this because she loved me more than any of my exes. That she loved me more than those girls, that she had better conditions. So I should just listen to her. She would take care of everything so I wouldn't have to think or worry about anything—why was I always...
'Going against her wishes.'
It was suffocating. I'd thought that as time passed, Mina would change. I'd believed love would take proper shape, but instead it only grew worse. The love she spoke of and the love I spoke of were completely different. I didn't know how to fix this twisted relationship anymore, and there was no sign that it could be fixed.
“Haah.”
I sigh right in her face, as if telling her to move. She must know what it means, yet Mina shows no reaction.
“Get off. Stop it. Never mind, I'll leave myself.”
“Why? Going to your niece?”
“I told you to take it easy.”
Mina's mouth was smeared thick with lipstick. It looked terrifying, like she was covered in blood.
“Oppa. You should be the one taking it easy. Or rather, if you don't want to do this anymore, just say it. Let's talk.”
“What talk at a time like this? Would you really want to talk right now if you were me?”
“There's plenty to talk about. We have to prepare for the wedding, decide on honeymoon destinations. It's year-end, so work is busy too. And let's see... we have to think about your niece's tuition. The bank loan and interest from when we bought your family's house. And don't forget the money my dad lent us.”
They'd already decided to do whatever they wanted anyway, yet she still tacked on these unnecessary details. No, actually, none of it mattered. The marriage, the house, my debt. Do whatever you want. Take it all. The only thing that mattered was that none of it splashed onto my niece. As long as I could handle it within my means so she could live a happy life.
“Why? Planning to take it all while you're at it?”
“I'm telling you because I want you to know. You're the one who made such a fuss about writing up a contract instead of just accepting it.”
“I'll handle it without burdening your family, so don't worry.”
“Did you win the lottery behind everyone's back or something? I told you to just know. Don't make a scene all by yourself— just know it. Since you've received this much, you should know.”
“So what? Are you saying your family gave it to me out of pity, like some kind of charity? You talk like you gave it to me for free, but I worked like a dog at your company. I was the first one in and the last one out so no one would say I was just a guy who seduced the rich daughter to improve his lot in life. Even when I came home, all I did was company work.”
My voice grew rough. If I took just one more courageous step here, it felt like this relationship would end.
“I even ran all your father's errands. I even ignored my own father's memorial service and ran over whenever you called to wait on you hand and foot. Is that still not enough? What more do you want from me? What exactly do you want me to do here!”
Let's end it. Let's stop here. If I could just muster a little more courage to say those words...
“Oppa.”
I could throw off everyone's expectations. The pressure I'd been carrying...
“Don't misunderstand. Everything you're talking about... it's all natural. From the beginning, you've been enjoying far more than you deserve. All thanks to me loving you.”
I couldn't bring myself to say that one sentence.
“Or did you think you could have bought a house like this if you'd stayed at that fancy conglomerate? Send your niece to school? Prepare a retirement fund for your mother? You have all of it because I loved you. Yet you talk as if... as if you earned it all through your own efforts.”
Mina stared at me coldly. In contrast, I must have looked like a mess.
“If I simply withdrew my hand, it would all disappear. You really... Yes. Maybe you could think that way.”
I was surely looking at her with the most horrific expression I could muster.
“Oppa. I want you to understand this. I'm not asking for anything difficult. I'm just asking you to love me. But right now you're... getting too angry. No matter how I look at it, it's strange, isn't it?”
“......I'm sorry.”
“You seem tired too, so I won't bother you anymore. Go to sleep. I'll stop and head back.”
“You've been drinking. How are you going to drive? Just sleep here.”
“I can take a taxi. The car... you can drive it over later. Goodbye. Send my regards to Yerin too.”
Because I couldn't end this relationship. Because I couldn't end things between us. Only after seeing her off and turning around did I let out a sigh of relief.
'Wait...?'
No... Perhaps. Maybe this was just the beginning. My niece's door was slightly ajar. How much had she heard? How much had she pretended not to see... I didn't know. Right now, I couldn't bear to meet her eyes.