The Weight of "Us"
I’d do anything for my niece... but we have to live within our means.
Wait. Our means?
For a split second, I’d unconsciously linked my niece and myself together as “us.” All while leaving Min-a—the woman who was supposed to be my future bride—on the sidelines.
Even now, with the wedding right in front of me, I still couldn’t clearly picture the moment when Min-a and I would truly become “us.” We were about to go from lovers to husband and wife. She was going to call me yeobo. Yet I couldn’t even be sure that would make me happy.
It stuck in my throat like a thorn.
I, the one actually getting married, should have been certain about my own happiness… but I wasn’t. I was just letting things flow along with the current, never making a single clear-cut decision. As if I were talking about someone else’s life.
“Oppa, seriously. Why do you keep butting in when it’s a conversation between women? Right, Yerin? It’s her decision to make. Why are you making such a fuss?”
Min-a cut me off as I tried to interrupt from the side. She was already acting overly familiar, offering up a friendship with my niece that looked as thin as a thread.
She was the one who got angry when my niece ignored her. Now she’s trying to make an ally out of her.
And she was doing it in the most tasteless way possible—by throwing money around. Of course my niece wouldn’t fall for it. She’d literally just heard Min-a being told not to show off with her father’s money.
“That’s right, Samchon. Sungmo already talked to me about it. I should be the one to give the answer.”
“Yeah. Exactly.”
Thump. Thump. My niece poked my side as if telling me to move. When I stepped aside like she wanted, she flashed a bright smile.
“And Sungmo, really. Do you think I can’t even handle something like that? Is that why you’re offering to buy me a bag? You don’t need to bribe me. Once you marry Samchon, you’ll be part of our family too. Of course I should help you out.”
“Really?”
“Yes. We’re family, after all. Just like you said Sungmo needs to make a good impression on your in-laws… I should make a good impression on you too. Who knows? After I graduate and end up jobless, maybe you’ll help me find work.”
“If that’s what you want, I’m sure Dad would gladly set something up for you. Or maybe by then Oppa will be the one making the decisions?”
“Samchon is only a deputy right now. What kind of power does a deputy have?”
“Starting next year he’ll be a manager. By the time you join the company, Oppa’s position will be much higher. Your uncle is really good at his job. He’s an ace at the company.”
“Is that so?”
I thought my niece would refuse…
This was unexpected. The moment she accepted the request with a smooth line about family, I found myself momentarily speechless. On top of that, the two of them were getting along so well it was hard to believe they used to growl at each other every time they met.
Or maybe… deep down, I was hoping my niece would turn her down?
Maybe I’d been praying all along that the two of them would stay on bad terms. The more I saw them together, the heavier the weight in my chest grew when I looked at Min-a.
I had already confessed my feelings to my niece. I couldn’t even use the excuse that I’d been drunk. Just a few days ago, I had kissed those lips and then fled like a coward. And now those same lips were moving as she casually chatted with her future aunt.
Pathetic. What a fucking idiot.
What the hell was I supposed to do? If it was really that bad, I should just tell the truth right now. Tell Min-a to leave. Call off the wedding, everything. Say that marrying her felt like too much of a burden. That I had never once imagined her as my lifelong partner.
The moment I said it, I’d have to give up everything… but I didn’t know. The gears of my life had been clicking along perfectly until now. How was I supposed to deal with that?
What would I say to Mom? She’d been so happy, bragging to the whole neighborhood that her son had met a rich girl. She kept saying our family should be bowing to her in-laws. Even my aunts knew all about it.
And at the company? We still hadn’t properly paid back the hospital bills Mom had borrowed. Every time the subject came up, Min-a’s father would wave it off, saying he’d only helped a student in need… but would he be so understanding if I told him I was breaking up with his daughter?
He was the one who’d introduced us to the bank loan for this house. The salary that was higher than others at my level. The bonuses. The expectations.
Maybe I had simply been wearing clothes that didn’t fit me from the start. And now that I wanted to take them off, I felt like I had already come too far. I should never have buttoned that first button wrong.
No matter what Min-a said. No matter what anyone around me said. Like the spineless fool I was, I had simply drifted along. I had drifted along like an idiot, and now I had ended up here.
Just… a little longer. If I can just get through the wedding preparations…
My lips trembled. I needed to speak up. But Min-a had already finished talking and was getting ready to leave.
“It would be so nice if Yerin came to work at our company too. She might end up doing way better than Oppa. He’s good at handling tasks, but… how should I put it? He doesn’t really have his own color. Look at Yerin—she’s so decisive. She already is.”
“No, Sungmo. I’m nothing special. Please push my uncle—Deputy Kim—a little harder instead. Our Samchon needs to earn more so I can get a bigger allowance.”
“Right. Don’t worry. The company was mine to begin with. It’s… Oppa’s too.”
She had said it so casually in front of me before, but saying it in front of my niece seemed to embarrass her. Her voice trailed off at the end.
“Still, Yerin, don’t turn down the gift. Unni is buying it as a college admission present. Or would you rather have a laptop? Or a tablet? You’ll need it for studying, right?”
“I already said it’s fine. I’ll just take your heart. If you keep this up, I’ll tell you not to come over anymore. It’s burdensome, so stop.”
“Okay, okay. Then I’ll just have to hurry up and get your uncle promoted so he can buy it for you. You’ll accept it if it’s from Samchon, right? Manager Kim. Please spoil your niece with plenty of money.”
“Yeah, yeah. Get home safely.”
The moment Min-a left, I collapsed onto the sofa. My head was spinning from her endless offers to buy things. Even though my niece had said she wanted us to live within our means, even though she had said monetary favors made her uncomfortable, Min-a had pushed until the very end.
“......”
My niece stood in front of me without saying a word. The silence was heavy. I felt like I should say something… but I had no idea what.
I had already told her about the marriage. I had even warned her in advance that Min-a might come over. But actually seeing them face each other left me completely frozen.
I needed to soothe my niece’s feelings. She was probably the most upset person here right now, yet she was just standing there with a serious expression, lips tightly sealed. I didn’t know how to begin.
Should I apologize? But what exactly was I supposed to apologize for? Sorry for marrying your aunt? Sorry for letting her come here?
I kept hesitating, reading the room, when my niece finally let out a big sigh and muttered under her breath.
“What a pathetic bitch. Does she think she has money? It’s her dad who has money. I told her not to embarrass herself by throwing it around, but she doesn’t even get it.”
Startled, I looked at her. Surprisingly, she seemed more exasperated than angry.
“What? Did I say something wrong? She’s the one acting crazy with her dad’s money.”
“Hey, hey. No matter what, that’s still…”
“Are you telling me not to speak rudely to Sungmo? Why should I? I never planned on sucking up to that woman anyway. I only offered to run errands to make her let her guard down.”
Let her guard down…?
Why? For what?
My niece was deliberately trying to make Min-a lower her defenses. I stared at her with a blank face until she walked over with steady steps.
She stopped right in front of me, met my eyes, looked down at me, and placed her hand on top of my head. Then she slowly stroked my hair and whispered.
“By acting friendly. So she won’t keep suspecting anything about us. So she’ll see us as nothing more than an ordinary uncle and niece.”
“We… what do you mean, we… We… Hey. We have…”
I couldn’t clearly define what “we” were.
“Samchon. You have to speak properly. We’re not ordinary uncle and niece, are we? You said I was on your mind. You said your heart went to me. And besides, have you already forgotten that you kissed me? What uncle and niece in the world kiss on the lips? If anyone heard that, you’d be dragged away immediately, you know?”
“......”
“You can’t say I did it first. Me kissing your lips while you were asleep and you kissing my lips while you were awake are two completely different things. You understand what I’m saying, right?”
“So now… we need to go back to being normal. As niece and uncle.”
“Why should we? I don’t want that.”
The hand stroking my head grew stronger. When I frowned slightly, my niece smiled instead. Then, just like always, she came closer. Without any sense of distance, she climbed onto my thigh and looked at me.
“Are you trying to play the good uncle now? Or is it some sense of loyalty toward Sungmo?”
I should push her away.
“You know what’s really funny, Samchon? You don’t even want to marry her that much. You’re forcing yourself even now.”
I should end this relationship right this second.
“Or maybe it’s because you finally got your hands on a rich girl. It’d be a waste to throw her away, but keeping her feels like a burden? So you’re just holding on? Well, given our circumstances, if a rich woman comes along, you should just say thank you and marry her. There’s no point in complaining about nieces or whatever.”
I couldn’t answer. My niece was ruthlessly digging up every single thing that had been weighing on my mind.