Chapter 5
Chapter 5
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: How to Steal the Protagonist's Woman
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"Hmph, what an absolute load of bullshit."
"…."
The villagers, who had been gossiping loudly right up until the old woman's outburst, fell completely silent in an instant.
Everyone just stared at her quietly.
The old woman, dressed in threadbare, ragged clothes, sat on a chair in the corner and leaned forward over her cane.
The village chief finally spoke up.
"Come on, why are you starting up again? Huh?"
"To forget all that history and pull a stunt like this…."
"Jeez… here we go again."
The chief shook his head, looking completely exhausted.
The old woman, clearly the eldest resident present, began aggressively scolding the others.
"The Hero? You absolute lunatics…. You're only able to live in peace right now because he finds you useful. The moment you're no longer needed, he'll treat every last one of you like worthless livestock!"
"Granny, have you completely lost your mind? What if someone hears you?!"
"Let them hear me! You miserable bastards!"
The crowd murmured anxiously, glancing around the room.
-Sigh, who the hell invited her this time?
-Yeah…. She completely loses her mind whenever the Hero is mentioned….
-It was her own daughter's mistake, and she's still holding a grudge after all this time….
Bang!
Catching someone's whispered remark, the old woman slammed her cane against the floor and stood straight up.
"My son is not the kind of child who would ever do something like that!!"
Her furious shout instantly silenced the room again.
Trembling with rage, she leaned heavily on her cane and staggered toward the exit.
"You damn bastards…. Mark my words, you'll all get exactly what's coming to you someday."
With that final threat, she threw the door open and limped out into the night.
The moment she left, the elders immediately went right back to whispering among themselves.
I quietly slipped away and followed her.
She walked past the outskirts of the settlement, heading completely outside the village boundaries.
'Yeah, no kidding.'
No matter how well-guarded this territory was supposed to be, it was pitch black outside the village gates at night—you literally couldn't see a foot in front of you.
'Let's keep tracking her for now….'
"Huh? What are you doing out here?"
"Huh?"
I turned around to find the burly militia guard I'd dealt with earlier.
"Oh, hello. Well, I noticed that elderly lady walking out into the dark all by herself, so I got worried…."
"Ah…. She actually lives outside the village…."
"Pardon? She doesn't live inside the walls?"
"Well…."
From the guard's explanation, I learned that after her family passed away years ago, the old woman had chosen to live in complete isolation outside the perimeter.
"I try to persuade her to move inside whenever I pull patrol duty out here, but she won't budge. She's been living out there since long before I was even stationed here…."
"I see. Still, I'm worried about her wandering off in the dark—mind if I go check on her and come right back?"
"Huh? You really don't have to. Even though she lives outside, the surrounding area is completely cleared of monsters, so it isn't actually dangerous."
An outsider worrying about a random elderly hermit on his very first day in town? Anyone with a brain would find that suspicious.
Fortunately, making up a plausible excuse was second nature to me.
"…Seeing her just really reminds me of my late grandmother."
"Ah! I-I understand! Go right ahead then! Here, take this mana stone—it'll be far too dark to navigate without it. Use it!"
"Thank you…."
I gratefully accepted the glowing stone and hurried off in the direction the old woman had gone.
As I walked away, the guard's whispered voice drifted over from behind me.
-Wow… he's so genuinely kind. I'm starting to like him more and more….
Perfect….
I eventually arrived at what appeared to be the old woman's secluded hut.
Broken junk and debris were scattered all over the yard.
"Is anyone home?"
"Who goes there?"
The old woman emerged from the ramshackle structure, leaning heavily on her cane.
Up close, her threadbare appearance looked even more miserable and desperate than it had under the tavern lights.
"Hello. I just arrived in the village today…."
"Get out of this place. Pack your things and leave immediately."
"…."
What is wrong with the people in this world? Is "get out" the only pre-programmed dialogue line these NPCs possess?
This was already the umpteenth time I'd heard it today….
'Damn, literally everyone is telling me to hit the road….'
I composed myself and spoke as politely as possible.
"May I ask why you're telling me to leave?"
"…If you value your life, leave this place right now."
Without another word, the old woman turned back around, retreated into her hut, and firmly shut the door.
Once the sun had fully set and night truly took over, I returned to the village chief's residence to secure a place to sleep.
Naturally, I had to bribe the greedy old bastard with another counterfeit jewel.
Seriously, how deep does this guy's avarice go….
In exchange for the bribe, he agreed to provide me with daily meals and a proper bed for the duration of my stay.
He assigned me a small, isolated room tucked away in the corner of the first floor.
At the very least, today wasn't a total waste—I had successfully identified the Hero's love interest.
It was his own sister.
The guy was an absolute lunatic.
But apparently, in the context of this specific world, it wasn't considered a massive scandal.
According to the world lore Armonia provided, marriage between siblings wasn't a forbidden taboo here.
Furthermore, this Hero was proving to be completely different from the standard, righteous protagonists I was used to dealing with in games.
He was a tyrannical siscon, and the local villagers lived in absolute terror of him.
The old woman's ominous warnings kept echoing in my mind as well.
However, my biggest obstacle right now wasn't the Hero's psychological issues.
"Man, I just cannot find the motivation to do this…."
"The real-life women here just aren't doing it for me at all."
That was the bitter reality that hit me while wandering the village today: the women in this world were just entirely ordinary, uninspiring girls, no different from the ones back on Earth.
And the desperate local chicks eyeing me like a piece of meat only made it worse….
They didn't meet my standards in the slightest—they couldn't even get a reaction out of me.
Am I really supposed to bust my ass working hard to conquer women like that?
"I'd honestly be better off going back home and replaying my old eroge titles…."
"Sigh… I guess I'll just have to settle for that…."
I mumbled the complaint aloud to make it seem like a passing thought, but I immediately transmitted my true intentions over our private mental link.
'Just you wait, Armonia. Someday, I'm absolutely going to conquer you.'
Woo-hoo! Just hearing that response got my adrenaline pumping instantly.
"Yeah? What's that?"
"Huh?! How on earth do you know that name?"
I was genuinely startled. Can this system interface completely read my subconscious thoughts now?
"Oh…. She's my first love. …Though it's all over now."
My one true first love.
I hadn't forgotten about her for a single day.
Even after pulling intense, marathon gaming sessions with other titles, she was always the one who popped back into my head the second the screen went black.
[I am surprised. You consistently claim to despise real-life women. Were there tragic circumstances
involved?]
"Huh? I hate real-life girls? What does that have to do with her?"
"Oh."
I couldn't help but chuckle as I clarified the misunderstanding.
"She's the main heroine of the very first adult visual novel I ever played."
I seriously wondered what kind of exasperated expression Armonia was making right now. I would give anything to see it.
"I truly loved her with all my heart…. But I can never meet her again."
She sounded almost hesitant to press further.
"It happened back in the goddamn floppy disk era. My psycho sister decided to sell off my vintage 486 laptop—claiming it looked like cool retro garbage—while I was away serving in the military. That absolute bitch, I swear I'm going to ruin her life someday…."
No joke—every single time I thought about it, I felt a genuine urge to pour battery acid down that woman's throat.
My beautiful first love, Philia.
I'm so incredibly sorry, it was entirely my fault for not protecting you.
"That was the only title I ever replayed hundreds of times. A flawless, certified 10/10 masterpiece."
I used to boot up that old laptop once a week without fail just to see her face. I was constantly monitoring the room's humidity to prevent hardware degradation and even taught myself basic computer repair just to keep that machine running forever.
"Armonia."
"True love doesn't work that way."
Even after the internet era opened up a million ways to emulate and replay that specific title, I never touched it again.
The precise Philia I fell in love with wasn't just some data file floating around the web.
She existed strictly within that specific 486 laptop, surrounded by all of my teenage memories.
Because of my own negligence, I failed to protect her, so I resolved to keep her locked away in my heart forever.
Determined never to experience that kind of devastating regret again, I was reborn as a cold, calculating, optimal eroge conqueror.
"Armonia."
"Thanks."
"For giving me an excuse to reminisce about Philia after all these years…."
Imagining Armonia squirming adorably in response to my sincere gratitude made her feel incredibly endearing. I could practically sense her flustered reaction right through the link.
Armonia's total silence spoke volumes….
"You're judging me right now, aren't you?"
Sure you aren't….
Suddenly, an abrupt sound cut right through the quiet night air.
"Anyway, tomorrow I need to go scope out this Viola girl. Let's call it a—"
Rustle. Rustle.
A loud, aggressive scratching noise erupted from the bushes right outside my bedroom window.
"What the hell—?"
'Who is it? Shit, is it that psychotic elder who threatened to come give me a knuckle sandwich?'
I immediately lunged for the interior door to retreat deeper into the village chief's house.
Click, click.
"It's locked from the outside…."
'Use Enel to force the lock right now….'
'Shit, fine! Let's just escape through the window!'
Who on earth shows up at this ungodly hour just to assault someone?
Fortunately, the corner room had two separate windows. I quietly unlatched the one positioned away from the noise and awkwardly scrambled out into the yard.
I scanned the immediate area, but found nothing.
"Wait, there's no one here?"
"Kyaaah!"
"Wha—?! Wh-whoa!"
A woman?
Out of nowhere, a female figure dropped down from the overhanging tree branches, screaming as she collided directly with me.
"Gahk!!"
"Kyaaak!"
Crack, crunch!
I distinctly heard the sickening sound of my own ribs fracturing under the impact.
Wait, is this that militia guard? Did we get a little too friendly earlier, and now she's launching a surprise midnight assault?!
In a twisted world where literal sibling marriage is normalized, there's absolutely no guarantee against aggressive reverse assault.
I came here expecting to pull off an NTR operation, and now I'm getting thrust into some unhinged, forced-encounter scenario?
The woman currently pinning my waist down had completely shattered my ribcage and left me saddled with a severe physical restraint debuff.
If I can't break free, I just need to scream for help!
I desperately recalled the ultimate protective lines from self-defense class.
(No! Stop! Somebody help me!)
I widened my eyes, drawing in breath to yell at the top of my lungs.
"No! ……Huh?"
"Ow, ow, ow…."
The second I caught sight of her face, beautifully backlit by the ambient moonlight, the words died instantly in my throat.
Right before my eyes.
"That really hurt…."
"…Philia?"
Philia had materialized right in front of me.
The woman currently straddling my midsection was an absolute stunning beauty with deep blue eyes and cascading, dark brown hair.
Her attire was standard, plain village girl fare, but in my current dazed state, it looked like a radiant angelic gown.
As she regained her composure, she panicked, immediately noticing my condition and checking over my injuries.
"Oh! Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"
"…."
"Oh no, what should I do! You must be terribly hurt!"
With a trembling mental voice, I desperately contacted Armonia.
'A-Armonia! Pull up this woman's profile and tell me everything right now!'
'Huh? Why wouldn't I be?'
Eeeek!
The agonizing pain that I had temporarily forgotten due to the sheer shock of the girl's appearance came rushing back all at once.
'Sh-shit! C-can't we use Enel to heal this instantly?!'
Whoooosh.
A soothing warmth washed over me, and the blinding pain vanished in an instant.
However….
"Ugh!"
"Oh! Are you regaining consciousness?"
As the pain receded, I suddenly became hyper-aware of the soft, distinct sensation of her inner thighs pressing against my arm.
Because the woman pinning me down was wearing a loose skirt, my arm had inadvertently ended up entirely underneath the fabric during the collision.
Deep within the recesses of my brain, my internal intrusive thoughts immediately began firing off warning sirens.
Throb, throb. (Warning: Skirt penetration hazard imminent! Launch counter-measures!)
'Shut up, you idiot!'
I barely managed to suppress my racing instincts and focused my gaze on the incredibly worried woman looking down at me.
[Maternal Instinct], [Empathy], [Deep Isolation], [Absolute
Loyalty], [Unfiltered Honesty], [Intense Curiosity], [Total Naivety
Regarding Intimacy]….
Absolute jackpot….
I had literally just vowed to hunt her down less than a minute ago, and she fell right into my lap.
Viola quickly scrambled off me, standing up straight and bowing in a rigid apology.
"I am so incredibly sorry…. I was entirely certain you were staying on the second floor…. I suddenly spotted a silhouette through the first-floor window, panicked, lost my footing on the branch, and fell."
"Huh? Y-you already know who I am?"
"Well…, um…. How could I possibly forget the face of the man I personally rescued from the wilderness? Hehe."
"Ah, a-ah."
I instinctively clutched my chest.
She is a literal angel.
That single smile just completely saved my soul.
[Before your thoughts stray any further, I must clarify: this individual is the one who originally
discovered your unconscious body outside the village.]
'Ah! Right, the memories are finally coming back to me now.'
'Wow…. Looking at her now, I completely understand why that tyrannical Hero bastard is crazy enough to want to marry his own sister.'
No joke.
Her appearance was leagues above any ordinary village girl I'd encountered. I honestly doubted whether a mere human NPC template could naturally look that flawless.
Seeing me space out completely, Viola's expression grew increasingly anxious.
"You're truly uninjured, right?"
"Y-yeah. I'm f-fine. Totally healthy. Haha…."
Damn it, why am I stuttering so badly….
My vocabulary had completely vanished; my entire body was breaking out into a nervous sweat.
My heart was hammering against my chest, and my thoughts were a chaotic mess.
Worse, the annoying internal commentary wouldn't shut up.
Squirm, squirm. (What are you waiting for?! Pounce on her now! Quest complete!)
This internal voice's advice never actually works out, so why do I keep tolerating it?
Novelpia Style: Write without limits.
Munpia Style: Write for mainstream fame.
Kakao Style: Write for corporate monetization.
Seong Suho Style: Just write.
The singular core drive dominating my brain always demanded that I take action and control the narrative.
Seriously, if this internal dialogue would just shut up for five minutes, nine out of ten scenarios would play out completely smoothly.
Flap, flap. (Hmph! Fine then, see if I care! Figure it out yourself!)
…Fine, I still appreciate the assist, you useless internal monologue.
Attempting to break the incredibly awkward tension, I forced out a casual, confident response.
"I-I'm built pretty tough, you know. Haha."
"Ah…."
Wait a second. My angel's facial expression suddenly stiffened.
Did I completely screw up the dialogue choice?!
I shifted uncomfortably, my mind desperately racing to figure out a recovery line.
Eventually, we managed to officially exchange introductions.
"My name is Seong Suho."
"Ah! I am Viola. Seong Suho… what an incredibly unique and unusual name."
"You can just call me Suho."
"Alright! Suho."
The absolute angel actually spoke my name aloud!
I threw a massive celebration inside my own head, completely thrilled.
I never realized simply hearing someone say my name could bring this much sheer joy.
However, observing my pathetic internal state, Armonia chimed in with a highly concerned tone over the link.
'Huh? What do you mean?'
[You possess absolutely zero emotional composure right now. Are you certain you are the same calculated
Suho I am accustomed to managing?]
'Uh….'
…What the hell am I actually doing right now?
This exact pathetic behavior I was currently displaying.
I had seen it a million times in the games I played, and it always drove me absolutely insane with frustration.
The miserable, weak-willed secondary characters who ultimately get NTRed by the protagonist.
The absolute idiots who pretend to be harmless nice guys, over-analyzing every single mundane interaction with a girl and dreaming of romance.
Me? Seong Suho, the self-proclaimed ultimate conqueror of visual novels?
Am I seriously acting exactly like the pathetic losers I spent my entire life mocking and despising in video games?
And I'm doing it in real life, no less?
I lowered my gaze, taking a deep breath as I mentally communicated with the system.
'…Armonia.'
'I've completely snapped out of it. Thanks for the reality check.'
As I raised my head back up, Viola was staring at me with that same deep, gentle concern.
"Um… if you're experiencing pain because of my clumsiness, we should really get you to the village clinic immediately!"
I offered Viola a perfectly calm, calculated, and reassuring smile.
I will utilize every single tool, trick, and psychological leverage at my disposal….
"Please don't worry, I'm perfectly fine. A sudden, painful memory from my past just caught me completely off guard for a moment…."
To systematically make this woman mine.