Chapter 55: Such Overwhelming Helplessness
Chapter 55: Such Overwhelming Helplessness
The doctor's office is well lit, providing a much more comfortable atmosphere than the dark, cramped blue-lit room and the narrow hallways. Anran no longer likes dark places; she prefers sunshine, rain, dew, and soil.
Regarding the three boxes of mineral water, Anran hasn’t drunk much, only giving a small amount to Doll occasionally. The rest is reserved for making milk for Chen Jiao’s son, who has been drinking milk mixed with saline—something not good for his health. Now that she has found mineral water, it makes sense to use it for Chen Jiao's son.
After Doll drinks a few sips of water, Anran replaces the pacifier in the child’s mouth. She leaves Doll and the flowers in the doctor’s office on the fifth floor, then carries the fruit basket containing Chen Jiao’s son and heads down to the door of Hu Zhen and Chen Jiao’s ward.
“Listen, everyone inside. I’ve killed all the zombies outside. Chen Jiao, I’ve left your son at the door for you. It’s up to you whether you want to take him in or not. I also packed a big bag of milk powder, diapers, and some clothes, all next to your son. Do whatever you want with it.”
After shouting this at the door, Anran turns to leave when she notices no movement from inside. You could call her cruel, but she has to consider the reality of the situation.
It is incredibly difficult to navigate this apocalypse while caring for two children. The most obvious issue is that she can’t take care of them both. After more than ten days, has Anran even managed three hours of sleep a night? It’s hard to say.
Of course, after spending so many days together, she has developed some feelings for Chen Jiao’s son. That’s why she has prepared so many supplies for him, despite Chen Jiao being so unlikeable. The child is innocent, and it is Chen Jiao's responsibility to care for her own son.
Anran can’t take on the burden of raising Chen Jiao’s son while already struggling to care for her own daughter. Even a saint wouldn’t do that.
“Wait, wait, Anran!” Just as Anran turns to leave, the ward room door suddenly swings open, revealing Hu Zhen standing inside, looking at Anran anxiously. “Anran, have you seen my son? Anran, have you?”
Anran remains silent, slowly turning halfway amidst the piles of zombie corpses to face Hu Zhen. She hesitates, contemplating whether to tell Hu Zhen that her son has either become a zombie or that he has been eaten by one.
She is hesitating. In fact, Anran can still be considered very kind. She can see that Hu Zhen genuinely wants to go out and help her, but she is unable to move due to her C-Section. She can’t run to save her son from the zombies at such a critical moment.
Sometimes, such outcomes are difficult for a mother to accept. Her child hasn’t really become a zombie; he can still be saved. If only she tried a bit harder, she could rescue him.
As a mother, she would face death for her child, unafraid of the possibility of not saving them. What she fears is her inaction, her powerlessness, watching her child in danger while being unable to do anything. Such an overwhelming sense of helplessness can send a mother straight to hell.