The Hardest Choice of My Life
The wetness was already soaking through my panties, and they started to cling to my swollen pussy lips, soaking them completely.
“Ugh… hnnngh…”
It was obvious I was in trouble.
If things continued like this, even my two hands would be forced to hold me down, and I’d be trapped forever in waves of pleasure.
I slammed my clenched fists against the table, raised my head high, and brought my forehead down hard.
Thud! Thud!
After two solid bangs, my excitement completely drained away, leaving behind only dull throbbing pain.
It would’ve been better if it just hurt.
What situation was I in right now? I couldn’t just sit around masturbating idly.
“Haa… this is truly the worst…”
All of a sudden my lower belly began to burn, and a few tears unexpectedly slipped out.
I was right on the verge of losing everything. I wanted to run to oppa right now, strip naked, and slap him in the face with my head.
My only uterus was on the brink of changing its mind again, and now I was throwing a tantrum about it.
…Yeah, unnie is sorry. I’ll apologize, so please stop now…
“Aww…!”
It was clear my body was cursed. Even though it was my pussy that couldn’t even take insertion properly, it was the one that got pregnant…
“Ugh… I’m really sorry…”
A part of it was genuine.
If I had handled things a little more wisely back then, I could have done the first insertion, breaking my hymen, and planting my seed in my womb all at once.
That kind of chance… would never come again. So I could fully understand why my stubborn uterus was kicking my lower belly right now.
“Hic… b-but… you said you don’t like me, right…?”
That’s why I got unnecessarily sad.
“The first time I showed my naked body to you… hic… for a body like this… you don’t feel anything at all… what am I supposed to do, oppa… huaaang…!”
I slammed my forehead against the table again.
Thud!
“Auuugh! Hic… it hurts…”
One round of crying was enough to stop.
“Jeong Da-jeong, you crazy girl… just why did you do something like that. Just hold on a little longer. If you had, there would’ve been a much better chance… maybe it would’ve come…”
Eventually, I was back where I started.
Only I remained, still clinging to the last thread of hope.
“I… will never be accepted again…?”
I felt as if I was carrying the misfortune of the entire world all by myself.
Even on the way home, I cried buckets. After arriving, I cried nonstop for a full hour, repeating the same cycle over and over.
“Hic… snivel… s-so… it’s really ending like this…?”
The moment I thought of him, another wave of sobs burst out.
This time, I decided not to sacrifice my forehead again.
This crying was purely to let out the feelings I had for Baek Jeong-hyeon.
I really cried for a long time.
I never imagined something like this would happen, so it felt like the end had come for my entire world.
*
I didn’t eat a single meal until evening.
From eleven in the morning until seven at night, I cried nonstop, repeating the same thing, and while skipping the novel I loved so much, I sat on the bed all day staring at his profile picture.
“Jeong-hyeon oppa… I’m sorry for being so disobedient…”
Deep regret flooded in.
I had made a mistake from the very first button.
No matter how hard it was to control my excitement, I shouldn’t have treated him that way.
If I had approached him normally, as I always was, there was a clear possibility I could have continued the relationship better than just being an ordinary female employee.
At the very least, I could have become a cute little sister instead of a lover.
Even if I had ended up climbing him in a fit of my rising lust, the result would have been far better than what actually happened.
In the end, I had ruined everything.
It was arrogance.
Thinking that even without the charming heroine Baek A-in, Jeong-hyeon would naturally climb me if I just spread my legs was a huge mistake from the start.
No matter how much I dreamed of being violated like a rape victim, I shouldn’t have been looking at it as reality.
This wasn’t a novel world.
Which man would risk his entire life just to pierce a girl’s hymen?
Moreover, Jeong-hyeon had already established himself in society to some degree, and he had a physique that didn’t fall behind other men.
The only deficiency I knew about him was his extreme sexual obsession with a woman’s virginity.
And filling that lack didn’t require forcing a woman to eat him— it was possible without that.
Even though it would take a long time, it was a part that could eventually be realized.
Only now did I truly realize I had been dreaming the impossible.
There was not a single reason for Jeong-hyeon to genuinely love someone like me, an extreme sexual deviant.
The only thing he had that was attractive was my untouched hymen, and to eat that, he would have to put on a steel collar the next day and forcibly climb me.
This was just the first step.
As soon as I kissed his real cock, he would definitely throw a tantrum saying it hurt, so I would have to endure being slapped by his swinging limbs while steadily suppressing him.
After that, I would have to slowly insert his cock while enduring the pain, squeezing out tears of misery at the same time, and soothe him until he came.
What if the pain continued until oppa came?
It was obvious my soaring excitement would cool down all at once, and I might even hear him say I was useless because it was a shitty feeling.
“Virgin graduation… I’ll give up on it completely. Da-jeong… no matter how much I think about it… it’s too cruel for Jeong-hyeon oppa…”
It would have been better if I had realized this earlier.
Only after it was over did I truly understand.
I had liked everything about Baek Jeong-hyeon.
The reason I couldn’t notice it at the time… was probably because of his reverse charm.
His 180cm height, nearly twenty centimeters taller than me, the body built from military training, and above all, his signature cold expression that only appeared when there were no customers in the cafe.
That kind of oppa who always showed only polite manners, who made me get turned on by watching him act like that in a place like this?
Just imagining it made me feel like I would melt.
People might call him a pervert, but I was different.
To someone with my somewhat unusual sexual tastes, he was the most lovable figure.
But he was just an ordinary man who didn’t understand my tastes.
While I was lost in the happiness that might be the best moment of my life,
he looked at my lewd inner self and showed eyes full of disgust.
My happiness had become his misfortune.
…In the end, we were destined to never be one.
I no longer wanted to seek my happiness while making him unhappy.
After sincerely apologizing and asking if he could accept me again…
“I’ll prepare properly… and confess…”
I deeply engraved the new dream in my heart and once again faced the screen’s Baek Jeong-hyeon.
With a renewed mindset, the corners of my mouth naturally curled up.
It was a familiar reaction.
Smiling while secretly glancing at the camera lens in the photo with a slight tilt of my head every morning and before bed was my happiness.
I had never doubted that one day his side seat would become mine.
That was why happiness kept growing day by day.
The longer I spent time with him, the richer my imagination became.
Meeting him somewhere other than the cafe, holding hands, sharing interests.
[Da-jeong]
I wanted to be called to him not as just an employee, but as a lovable girlfriend.
“Ah……”
That’s why the meaning of the tears dripping onto his profile picture hit my heart even more painfully.
“Hic… o-oppa… hic hic…”
This photo that always showed me only happiness now made me feel incredibly sad.
At the same time, the future it pointed to naturally formed in my mind, and my heart tore apart with pain.
“W-what if… I get rejected… what should I do… I, I… only have oppa…”
I became afraid.
Even if he never accepted me, I had decided to keep loving him forever.
So if our separation was truly certain, I would leave his photo somehow and stare at it every day.
But it was extremely unfortunate… I was not strong enough to fully bear this sadness.
Eventually, I was certain I would run away from this agonizing pain.
Right now, Jeong Da-jeong was endlessly weak.
Especially now, when the end of my first love might be tragic.
“I don’t want that… I never want to cry every time I look at oppa’s photo… so…”
I lay back on the bed as if slowly turning over.
I kicked off my panties and pulled my pajamas up to my chest.
No matter how much I wanted to express my feelings for him, I didn’t want to do it this way.
Using a love target as a breeding bitch… I thought this was truly the worst.
But I had no choice.
Even if it ended in the worst result, I didn’t want to swallow the agony every time I had to face his photo.
The only way was to masturbate in front of him until he got an erection the moment he saw my photo.
“Jeong-hyeon oppa… hic… I, I will never give up…”
While facing his smiling face, I forced myself to smile back.
“Haa, haa… Jeong-hyeon oppa… even if it’s a little burdensome… I want you to watch Da-jeong until the end…”
I grabbed my breasts tightly, just like he had done.
“Huuuuh…”