Phantom Thief or Detective! (5)
Hmm... So how the hell did this happen? I handed the contents of the snatched letter over to Franc and set my brain to work. It had been a while since the old noggin had to grind like this; my neck felt warm and tingly all over.
The possibility that Lady Henesis had reached out to those phantom thieves? It wasn't zero. But logically speaking, it felt off, didn't it? Contacting criminals using her real name wasn't her style at all. For starters, she was a noble. With power came just as many restrictions. Besides, the letter was addressed to 'Audrey Heswald.' Who the fuck?
Who's Audrey?
Th-that's me......
The one who raised her hand was the older sister phantom thief. For reference, the way I told them apart was whether their forehead had a red mark or not. The mark was stamped in a nice, easy-to-see spot, so distinguishing them was simple.
And the younger sister? Lie and your hand flies off.
......Ca-Catherine.
The sisters' names hadn't come up in the conversation I'd overheard earlier. Sisters don't usually go around calling each other "so-and-so's little sister," after all.
I organized my thoughts while tearing into some jerky with the eagle. Then I released the bird and spoke.
"This magic item. The older sister made it, right?"
The older phantom thief stammered for a moment before nodding.
"H-how did you know?"
"The calluses beside your index finger. The thickness of your wrist. And if we're being specific, the size of your eyes and the position of your neck?"
According to the half-assed scientific common sense I'd picked up back on 21st-century Earth, a person's appearance is almost entirely decided by innate genetics. That must be why the twins looked like they'd been copied and pasted. The only differences between them would be the kind formed by lifestyle habits—the exact things I'd pointed out. And because they looked so identical, those small differences stood out even more sharply.
"You work squinting at a desk in a dark room, don't you? The calluses are from a carving knife. It's not full turtle neck, but your shoulders are pretty knotted up. Ask your sister for a massage once in a while."
—Nod.
Audrey kept nodding like a good patient while I diagnosed her like an animal. I squatted down in front of them and continued.
"Matching this letter with the other clues, it clicked. Your public identities are information brokers who also play detective, right?"
Considering the well-trained carrier pigeon and the fact that Lady Henesis had sent the letter, that was the only conclusion that made sense.
"You used your heads. You gathered city information as brokers, then picked targets based on that data. You could learn the exact date of the job and the level of security, and even running around to obtain tools for the heist wouldn't raise any eyebrows."
Information broker slash detective. It sounded nice, but in practice they were just lucky adventurers. It was an identity that let them craft or buy magic items without suspicion. If I called it a work tool like the detective uncle I'd met last time, even I would've bought it.
"But you two couldn't have been running the information business together, could you?"
I tossed the carving knife I'd taken from the table and caught it again.
"Of course not. Our employer specifically named only 'Audrey Heswald' in the letter. That means officially, the Renapolis office only has one 'you.'"
I jabbed my index finger at the older sister, Audrey. She trembled like she'd been stabbed. It made sense. If the other party was a twin, only mentioning one would be rude, wouldn't it? Lady Henesis wouldn't make that kind of mistake. Especially when her writing was so polite.
"Obviously. Twin information brokers? Way too conspicuous. Phantom thieves and information brokers—clearly different jobs, but the common factor of 'twins' would make the investigation net stretch, right? So you two got clever again."
—Thud!
The carving knife I'd thrown stuck into the ground between the kneeling twins.
"You are twins, but you're not twins. To be exact, no one knows that the information broker 'Audrey Heswald' working in Renapolis has a twin younger sister."
......Hic.
The younger sister, Catherine, let out a hiccup.
I took the broken parts from Franc.
"The older sister makes the tools here or in another hideout, while the younger sister works as the information broker and finds targets. Do it that way and no one would ever connect the information broker 'Audrey Heswald' to the 'twin' phantom thieves."
As I spoke, I looked up. The sky was brightening. The caravan would be leaving soon. I needed to wrap this up quickly.
"It must've been convenient to switch places occasionally and stay locked in the office all day to avoid suspicion, right?"
Minor differences could be hidden with makeup or different clothes. I let out a small laugh.
"Looking back now, the way you flaunted being twins while pulling off phantom thief jobs was another layer of misdirection."
An information broker who worked eighteen hours a day by herself turning out to be one of the twin phantom thieves who robbed a noble mansion at dawn? Who the hell would believe that? They wouldn't even suspect it. Of course, there was always the chance someone might think of it.
'If the twin phantom thieves took turns, a double identity is totally possible, right?' There might've been someone who suspected that much.
'But that sounds about as ridiculous as me wondering if Franc might have a twin sister, doesn't it?'
You could cobble together a conspiracy theory by forcing the pieces together. But no one would seriously dig into that kind of wild speculation. A moment's thought would tell you it had a low probability of being true.
—Franc had a twin sister named Frederica Eitlinen, and the two of them occasionally switched behind my back to pretend to be a single 'Francesca'! To outsiders it might sound similar, but anyone who took that kind of nonsense seriously would be a lunatic. If I ever started spouting crap like that, my wives would drag me to the temple without fail. They'd complain that their husband seemed possessed by a demon.
"......Then that half-elf came looking for Audrey?"
When Franc asked, I nodded.
"She sold an item with tracking magic to locate her, then came to snatch her when she saw an opening. But when she arrived, the information broker turned out to be the famous phantom thief sisters. So of course that bastard got excited about the reward doubling."
It was a pop quiz. Franc crossed her arms under her impressive chest, thought for a moment, then answered right away.
"Because the half-elf's employer had also put a bounty on the phantom thieves?"
"Exactly. And the fact that they hired trash like that and became their target means the employer has plenty of money but does dirty work. Targeting information brokers means they're looking for something specific."
Plus—oh fuck? Their method was straight-up kidnapping? The whole approach felt way too familiar.
Franc must have realized it too; her face crumpled into a frown. The thought was correct. With 99 percent certainty, the bastard who'd hired that water-magic fucker belonged to the same noble house that had kidnapped Tirsi. It was purely circumstantial, but when the evidence piled up this high, only an idiot wouldn't be suspicious.
I let out a sigh and addressed the twins.
"Audrey Heswald. Catherine Heswald."
"Y-yes? Yes!"
"Wh-what is it?"
The twins answered like idiots. They looked completely out of it, as if they didn't even know what they were saying. Had Franc slipped them a confession drug while I was distracted? Why had they turned into zombies like this?
I tilted my head, decided it didn't matter, and kept going.
"My name is Nord. I was born in Kitai, but my current identity is British."
"Y-yes?"
They still gave brain-dead answers.
—Swipe.
I squatted down and pulled off their eye masks. They didn't react well, of course, but since I'd already learned their real names and weak points, hiding only their faces seemed pointless. They didn't resist.
I tossed the stolen masks aside and gave them a friendly smile.
"There. Now we know each other's faces and real names, don't we?"
"......Hiek."
The phantom thief duo Gwen & Stacey—in other words, the Heswald sisters—turned as white as corpses at my words. The power dynamic between us had been clearly established.
"I don't mind threatening bad people, but by my standards you two seem to have kept to a minimum line. Whatever your intentions, you weren't killing people and looting corpses."
—Flutter flutter.
I waved Lady Henesis's letter as I spoke. Besides, even if they'd gotten on my bad side, what could I really do? Scream about gender equality in evil and beat them to a pulp? Then all I'd get would be some crushed gem fragments under the bedrock. Had I gone through all this trouble just for gem dust? Of course I'd copied their escape techniques too, but since I'd come this far, I might as well squeeze every drop of profit out of it. If I went to a restaurant and the steak got flipped, would I leave after only eating the soup and bread?
Anyway, even under the laws of this world's advanced nation, Romania, the maximum sentence for theft was slave labor. Even if it was a noble's property.
Still, it'd probably cost more than I did back in my slave days. Fucking annoying.
In any case, this wasn't a world where slaves could be treated like human-shaped golems without rights like in other fantasy novels. Even if these girls were arrested, they'd probably do a few years of hard labor as state-approved slaves and that would be the end of it.
But that's only if they're handed over to government agencies.
Even in the 21st century, victims sometimes killed perpetrators who received light sentences, didn't they? The law is far away, but the fist is close. In this other world, the fist isn't just close—it's fast. Not even prime Muhammad Ali would be quicker.
"Even without me threatening you with this incident, you're already in a pretty fucked situation. You saw it, right? Sending a water dragon instead of an invitation at a first meeting. You've been marked by those kinds of people now."
The Heswald sisters swallowed hard after comparing the letter I'd shown them with the half-elf. They weren't as beautiful as my wives, but they were still quite attractive twin sisters. If a vicious noble captured them... Well? I didn't really want to imagine it, but wouldn't they be forced to atone with their bodies? If that kidnapper bastard exercised the 'good things should be shared' mentality, it would be faster to just resign themselves to death.
Ding~! The soldiers' loyalty has increased by 10!
And after suffering such horrible things, they'd probably meet a tragic ending so miserable that even a 19+ erotic novel would have mixed reviews. Two unwatchable snuff films produced in a single morning. Even Satan would come to take notes.
In my opinion, even if they ran away now, within a few weeks the phantom thief duo would go out of business and end up as fertilizer for someone's vegetable patch. I'd bet on it. I'd even wager the smoked ham that was supposed to be Veronica's share tomorrow morning.
After properly making the twins realize this future, I asked them kindly.
"You don't want to get caught by those guys, do you?"
"YES!!"
—Shake shake shake shake!! The two twins nodded back and forth like spring-loaded dashboard dolls. Physical therapy really worked fast. If we'd sent a Kaiser Phoenix from the start instead of a letter or carrier pigeon, this conversation would've gone much quicker, huh?
I smiled contentedly and placed the letter in their hands.
"Then let's do a job together, you two."
What? From the way they talked, it sounded like they'd already robbed that house once. The first time is always the hardest. The second time shouldn't be difficult at all.