The Great Madness (11)
……Hey, husband. So where the hell are we?
Once I stopped her suicide attempt, Dana quickly changed the subject. It was almost admirable how hard she was trying to make everyone forget her earlier embarrassing outburst. I chuckled and played along.
“This is my dream. Though it’s not the usual inner world I see.”
I looked up at the sky. Not a single cloud in sight. Makes sense, since we were standing above the clouds.
“Something must’ve gone wrong with the Seidr. Adelaide was trying to awaken my inner world’s…… latent potential? Or something like that.”
“Oh, really? Are we in serious danger right now?”
“We’ll find out soon enough. Let’s meet up with the others first.”
I started to climb back onto the cloud, then froze. Fuck, how did I even ride this thing?
……Dana? How the hell did I get up here?
“You’re not seriously expecting an answer from me, are you?”
She had a point. If someone asked me how to ride a cloud, even Nord Unit 1—who usually ran on pure reason and logic—would probably blue-screen.
“Hmm. Then let’s just summon a new ride.”
Since this was a dream, I conjured up the sleekest sports car I could imagine—one that would be impossible to own back on Earth or in this world. An open-top convertible, perfect for checking out the surroundings. Dana frowned.
“What the hell is this? Some modern art reinterpretation of a coffin?”
“A coffin that can hit hundreds of kilometers per hour. If we die while driving it, we can just bury ourselves right there.”
“You want me to ride in this? If you’ve got complaints about me, just say it, you bastard.”
“Why do you hate it when I touch your tits except during sex?”
“Fuck. Because your dick’s too damn big, that’s why.”
“If my dick’s too big, it should be bigger than Franc’s. Whose dick are you comparing it to? Shit, everyone! My wife’s cheating on me!”
“You really wanna die, you son of a bitch?”
I took a low kick from Dana, but since it didn’t hurt, I couldn’t tell how hard she’d actually hit me. She was the one who said if I was dead she’d just take me with her anyway.
“Get in already!”
“Fuck…… Fine. Dying in a dream just means waking up, right?”
Despite all her grumbling, Dana climbed into the car. My wife was the type who talked rough but spent every day getting pushed around by her husband. I closed her door, sat in the driver’s seat, and immediately realized something.
“Looks like a sports car on the outside, but it feels like an IMT.”
This sucks!
“Ah, right. This is perfect. Time to show you the driving skills of an artilleryman. Those driving-post bastards have it way too easy.”
I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed the wheel. Dana looked around awkwardly before asking,
“Husband. How does this thing even move?”
“If I knew that, I’d start a company in your hometown and rename it Nord Lamborghini, you idiot.”
“At least it moves. But still, ‘Dana Lamborghini’ sounds kinda shitty, doesn’t it?”
“Better than Dana Ferrari.”
Vroooom—!
When I stepped on the gas, the dream car smoothly accelerated forward. Nice.
“Kyaa?!”
Dana yelped in surprise as the car moved and instinctively clung to my shoulder, then quickly pulled away with a red face.
“Y-you startled me. If you’re gonna start, at least say something first.”
“Sorry. Got distracted for a second.”
Can you even have sex in a dream? If so, would car sex count as car sex? While pondering this very refined question, I forgot to warn her.
“It’s a dream, so we don’t need seatbelts. Just relax.”
“Relax, my ass. Your dick’s the only thing relaxing here.”
She said that, but after staying tense for a while, the cool breeze and my stable driving gradually helped her relax.
……Hmm. Not bad at all.
With her hair fluttering in the wind, Dana looked like a scene straight out of a Hollywood movie—especially with the modern clothes and the car interior. It felt strangely refreshing. Dana, riding shotgun with the wind in her face. I’d never even imagined it before, so the sight was both surreal and oddly satisfying. Knowing this beautiful doctor was my wife filled me with a weird sense of pride.
Dana glanced at me and smirked.
“What’re you grinning about?”
“Because you’re pretty.”
“Thanks, you bastard. You’re…… well. You look handsome to me.”
If you’re gonna compliment someone, at least do it properly. Dana ran her hand along the car’s body like it was some fascinating object.
“This is like those…… carriages from your hometown, right?”
“Something like that? It probably evolved from the idea of a carriage that moves without horses. They even measure power in horsepower.”
Was that accurate? Hell if I knew. I was a science guy back on Earth, not a history or military nerd.
“Hmm. Then call me into your dreams more often from now on.”
“Huh? Why?”
……If we’re here, I can see all kinds of stuff from your world, can’t I?
Dana rested her arm on the door and propped her chin on her hand.
“I don’t want to look like some country bumpkin when I visit your hometown later…… And I’m curious about the world you lived in. That kind of thing.”
“Makes sense.”
It was a reasonable excuse. If we were here, I could recreate Earth’s culture as long as my dreams and memories allowed. Maybe even play movies if I tried hard enough? It wouldn’t take priority over reality, but it was a pretty good idea.
“Sure, why not. But you’re just saying that to have sex, aren’t you?”
……Interpret it however you like.
“Heh.”
I drove across the sea of clouds with a blushing Dana. This wasn’t bad at all. I could understand why people romanticized driving dates. Part of me wanted to pull into some motel and blow through a whole box of condoms right here, but between the imagination limits and the current situation, I held back.
“Huh? Hey, husband. Isn’t that Adelaide over there?”
Dana spotted the person we were looking for first. Adelaide’s large frame made her easy to see even from a distance.
“Yeah, it is. Let’s go.”
I turned the wheel. As we got closer, I saw not just Adelaide but all my wives gathered together. Franc had apparently pulled herself together and was dressed again.
‘A little disappointing I didn’t get to see disheveled Franc, but it’s not like today’s the only day.’
Veronica had raised her hand toward the strange approaching object—probably about to cast a spell—then widened her eyes when she saw us inside.
“Is that not the Master? What manner of strange contraption art thou riding?”
“Why’s everyone so critical? This thing’s pretty cool.”
I gave a quick explanation, then got out of the car. It vanished like melting clouds.
“Franc. You okay?”
“Eh?! Ah, yeah! N-nothing happened at all!”
Franc jumped at my question. Veronica, who’d been listening, let out a small sigh.
“Don’t even ask. When I woke up and found thee gone, I had to search for her while she wandered around crying like a lost child.”
……What?
“Where is this place? Is this not Valhalla? I cannot die yet, for I have not yet borne Nord’s child—”
Veronica’s scream was cut off by Franc. The half-dwarf had slipped behind her like an assassin, kicked her legs out, and clamped both hands over her mouth.
“Mmph?! Mmmphh?!”
“Nothing…… happened at all!!”
Franc shouted, her pupils shaking like an earthquake. Apparently the two Bicorns, who’d kept their sanity even in the dream, had found Franc and helped her regain her composure. Veronica had been lucid from the very first time we met in a dream, after all. Was that because Bicorns were a divine race?
‘Come to think of it, the races called “human” in the metaphorical sense are all dream-capable species.’
Humans, elves, dwarves. The major races of this world could dream without needing special rituals like Seidr. Maybe there was some unique racial classification system in this world too.
Anyway, Franc probably just didn’t want her beloved to see her embarrassing side. I let it slide. After witnessing someone’s legendary gap moe earlier, this was nothing.
Maybe it was because I wasn’t there. Dana seemed to think the same, quietly looking away, so I changed the subject.
“Adelaide? Have you figured out the situation?”
Adelaide spoke with a troubled expression.
“My apologies, Heir. It is difficult to explain, but……”
“Something went wrong with the Seidr, right? Just give me a brief summary of what happened.”
At my words, Adelaide answered slowly. Maybe because this was a dream, she spoke in Britannian.
“Originally, we intended to investigate the mana of the ancient gods accumulated in the Heir’s inner world…… the interior of that solar form. We believed doing so would allow us to glimpse the Sky God’s memories.”
“I see…… So this place is inside Odin’s memories?”
“Nay. During the ritual, a third party’s will interfered and twisted the spell.”
A third party? Adelaide, who must’ve anticipated my question, explained.
“Lady Veronica and I believe this space was created by the Sky God in anticipation of the day when his future successor would attempt to access his memories.”
“It’s still a dream, right?”
When I asked while recalling the vanished car, Veronica—who had escaped Franc’s suffocating hug—answered.
“Indeed. This space is, in a sense, a dream realm created by the Sky God. And the fact that thou wert summoned here means there must be a reason. The initiative of the dream lies with thee.”
……Maybe he’s planning to leave me some inheritance?
“Even if we receive something, we cannot take it back to reality, can we? Knowledge might be different.”
“Getting magic knowledge from the god of magic wouldn’t be a loss.”
A VR lecture that was an upgraded version of rune stones would be quite valuable even in this space. But Adelaide shook her head.
“No matter what one does in a dream, upon waking it vanishes like a fleeting daydream. All that remains are memories and momentary inspiration.”
“Understood.”
So what the hell is this place supposed to be? I crossed my arms as curiosity stirred.
……At least I can manipulate things however I want, so it’s a space based on my dream.
Should I try moving the ancient god’s mana? The moment I acted on the thought that popped into my head, I was startled by the heavy sensation of mana churning in my gut like molten metal.
“Shit?”
My mana had started moving on its own. The feeling of mana escaping my control was indescribably awful. As I grimaced at the sensation of blood rushing backward, my mana seeped into the ground below.
—Kuuuung!
A magic circle spread across the cloud we were standing on.
“Everyone, fall back!”
“Kiyoooot!! Somersault evasion!!”
Whoosh—!
Years of experience instantly switched our minds to combat mode as we took a step back. The magic circle began glowing in rainbow colors. Franc instinctively reached for her weapon, then realized her hands were empty and turned to me.
“Nord! Did you do something?!”
“That magic circle wasn’t me!”
Maybe moving the ancient god’s mana had triggered something? I was thinking I needed to distribute equipment to the party when I tried to manipulate my dream like a lucid dream. That’s when it happened.
—Thud!!
As if a pillar were being erected from the magic circle into the sky, an LED column shot upward.
——It was a rainbow bridge.
【……………….】
Once the pillar settled, an unfamiliar old man appeared where the magic circle had been. A gray-bearded elder wearing a robe and pointed hat. His face was hidden, but the wrinkles on his palms were deeply etched. Yet the veins and muscles visible on his hands radiated a vitality that made his age impossible to guess. The staff in his right hand was taller than he was.
No, it wasn’t a staff!
It was a spear with a long blade attached.
I felt a chill run through me, my entire body’s hair standing on end.
“——Gandalf has descended upon the rainbow bridge!!”