Home Sweet Home!
As the light faded, I found myself inside a familiar stone-walled structure.
“Senior!! You’re late, I said!!”
Larilura was tearing at her hair in concentration, but her face lit up the moment I appeared. Those ten seconds must have felt like ten years to her. If it had been me, they definitely would have. I even felt a twinge of guilt that I couldn’t comfort her by telling her it was finally over.
“Get back! It’s not over yet!!”
Whoosh!!
I minimized the impact with a backward roll and unleashed one-handed spearmanship like a master of the draw. A glowing summoning circle had appeared right in front of my eyes. That was why I didn’t shed any pathetic tears of emotion at seeing human architecture after twelve hours. I could save that for after I saw my wives.
Did I plan to smash the summoning circle drawn on the floor? No chance. From the beginning, there had only been one opponent I was fighting.
Clang!!
A crab-like carapace knocked my spear aside. It was a giant hook large enough to grab both me and Larilura by the waist with one hand.
A giant insectoid humanoid twisted its body like a Digimon bursting out of a TV screen and emerged from the summoning circle. With a flash of light, the boss bug thrust its hideous face forward. Its gestures radiated such pure hatred that it looked like its wife and children had been slaughtered before its eyes.
Of course, the situation was different now. Here, we could use magic too.
“Get out of the way, Norde! Everyone! Prepare to intercept!!”
Selena, who had arrived first, issued the command with steel in her voice. Mages and archers formed ranks. A female mage wept as she poured mana into her Fireball.
“Revenge for Sergio!! I’ll turn you into floating charcoal!!!”
Oh, fuck. The mood was clearly ‘fire at will, whether I get caught in it or not.’ I had no desire to become kindling as a bonus alongside the main course. I grabbed Larilura’s waist and leaped sideways.
“Commence bombardment!!!”
The moment I cleared the line of fire, Selena swung her sword down like she was striking a slate.
Boom!! Kwaaaaaang—!! Whooooooosh—!!
Magic and arrows rained down on the bug bastard desperately trying to force its way out of the summoning circle. The arrows were no ordinary projectiles either; they were magic items enchanted with wind magic safe for use in enclosed spaces. The barrage was so merciless that I would have had no chance of survival if I’d been standing there.
…There’s no way this is the end.
I released Larilura. Our pink-haired party member, who had been frowning in deep concentration the whole time, suddenly shouted.
“Everyone, stop! We missed it!”
“Halt!! Cease fire!!”
Selena immediately followed Larilura’s instruction. When the smoke cleared, all that remained was a magic circle so riddled with craters it looked like a field a mad bull had rampaged through. Not even one of the bug’s antennae was left.
I clicked my tongue.
“It ran again—ugh!!”
The moment I muttered that, I threw myself to the floor. Naturally, Larilura rolled with me, still attached to my arm.
Booooong!!
The bug bastard came flying through the side wall, missed its target, and vanished into the opposite wall. It had fled before the bombardment started.
How the fuck does that son of a bitch fly while its penetration ability is active?
Wings flapping through the air should make noise, and how does it generate propulsion with wings thinner than its own body? It’s clearly shitting all over the laws of physics from start to finish. Is it some kind of specialized magic? No, what magic. What can you even expect from bastards that don’t have a language system?
Fuck. It’s probably just a physical ability, right?
Maybe it had some organ that used mana to trigger an object-penetration phenomenon, like how a dragon breathes fire.
I frowned and patted Larilura’s shoulder.
“Larilura. Can you track its position?”
“As much as you want! If it went insanely far I might lose it, but if it gets this close I can tell, okay? Leave it to me☆!”
“Good. I’m counting on you. Let me think for a second. If it approaches, just point me in the right direction.”
Tap, tap, tap.
I tapped the spear shaft with my fingers, thinking hard. Did that bastard have the intelligence to use a hostage strategy? If it did, and its rage cooled enough for it to start plotting how to fuck me over, it would probably kidnap someone else to kill me.
What’s the limit of that penetration ability?
Stopping my scattered thoughts and focusing, I found the answer.
To kill that bug bastard, other people are nothing but hindrances.
Even if Selena’s party got taken hostage, I didn’t have enough loyalty to die in their place. But just letting them die would leave a really bad taste in my mouth.
Even if they bunch up, they won’t be any help. That guy’s ability makes gang tactics impossible.
A surprise attack you can’t block until the instant before it hits! We were clustered together, but when you got down to it, this battle was a series of individual duels to stop a 0.1-second ambush. Even if you noticed the bug’s attack, you could only save the person right next to you. Kind of like murderous dodgeball. The only difference was that instead of a ball, a two-meter-tall crab bug was flying at you. Extremely terrifying dodgeball.
Having reached that conclusion, I pointed my spear at the wall and spoke to Selena.
“Miss Selena! Please head upstairs and call for help! If my party members are up there, bring them too!”
“Call for reinforcements?! What about you people?!”
“That monster is targeting me! While I hold it off, find the party made up of a half-dwarf, a mage, and a nun-dressed archaeologist! With their help, we can win!”
After I gave her a suitably convincing story, Selena thought for about ten seconds before answering in a resolute voice.
“I’ll do that!! Absolutely do not die!! I’ve had enough of opponents who die before they can repay their debts!! Everyone, retreat!!”
Clinging to that slim thread of hope, Selena ran upstairs. This was probably the fourth floor. Since there was zero chance my wives would come to a dangerous place when our party members clearly weren’t here, the probability was a clean 0%.
“Um, senior? What did you mean earlier about winning if the sisters were here?”
Thud.
Larilura, standing back-to-back with me, asked the question as if she’d had the same thought. I grinned.
“That? Just bullshit. There wasn’t time to persuade them, so I spouted some nonsense.”
“Wow, you really are awful. Don’t you have a conscience, senior?”
“Isn’t that part admirable? Feel free to learn from it.”
“Absolutely not~♡”
Larilura spoke in that playful tone, her shoulders shaking slightly. She was keeping herself on high alert since we had no idea when or where the bastard would appear. If the boss bug hadn’t chased after Selena, it would definitely come for us.
Feeling Larilura’s body heat against my back, I said, “Hey, Larilura. You know the effect of the rune on my spear, right?”
“Of course I do. Don’t worry? If there’s nothing, we make do with nothing. If it’s small, we make do with small~♡”
“Listen to you. Cheeky brat. Fine. If we catch that bastard, I’ll count it as ten. I’ll exclude the ones I caught in the other world from the record.”
“Hmm? Hmmm? Really? You won’t regret it, right?”
“Yeah, you bitch. Do you trust your oppa?”
When I chuckled, Larilura answered in the same high-spirited tone.
“Ahaha♡! You’re finally swearing at me too? It feels like senior finally sees me as someone he can talk to comfortably, so I got a little happy!”
“Junior. Did you really have to reveal your perverted tastes at a time like this?”
“Why? Do you dislike a perverted junior? Is it wrong for senior to only swear at people he’s close to?”
I only swear at Franc in bed, though? I thought of a counterargument but wisely kept my mouth shut. The tension had eased from the small shoulders pressed against my back. That was enough.
…Booooong.
It was right after we fell silent and prepared for the ambush.
I caught the refracting, buzzing sound with my enhanced hearing. From below or the side like before? Or would it strike from above to catch us off guard? I raised my tension to the absolute limit so I could counter from any direction.
──The moment I gripped the spear shaft tightly, the time came.
Vwoooong!!
Releasing its penetration ability, the hideous hook burst out. It was in the space 180 degrees opposite from where I had aimed my spear. From Larilura’s position, the attack would have pierced both of us at once.
Tap!
We spun, switching places while keeping our backs together. I tried to thrust the spear at maximum speed, but I was still a beat too slow. Having to make an extra movement made it inevitably slower than a true surprise attack. My strike missed the timing.
──If I had been alone.
“Eight! Take this~☆!”
Whirrr! Clack!
Threads of Puppetry shot from Larilura’s fingertips. The mana threads wrapped around my spear blade and glowed golden. The rune-enhanced Puppetry boosted the spear’s speed and power!
I stomped the ground hard enough to crack it and launched the spear like striking a billiard cue. Trajectory adjustment was unnecessary. My hand was only there to help. Hitting the target wasn’t my job.
“Massei Shot!!”
Shweeeeeek!!
Thwuck!!
The thread-wrapped spear spun like a drill and buried itself in the bug bastard’s chest.
“Kooooooooonnnnn!!!”
The bastard stopped the spear—which had enough power to split its torso in half—with its hook. Its penetration ability failed to activate. Of course it did. It wasn’t a delicate enough ability to arbitrarily turn ON and OFF for objects it touched. If it could, it might have let my attack pass through and hit me directly. And when it grabbed me and flew, it definitely wouldn’t have let go.
That was why it could fly. Because the air touching its wings wasn’t penetrated. Therefore it couldn’t make the spear touching its body phase through. Even if it activated the ability now, the spear was already buried in its chest!
“Grrrrrrruuuugh……!!”
“Koooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooo……!!!”
Larilura groaned as she poured power into her Puppetry. The momentum of the thrown spear had already faded. All that remained was a contest of strength between her rune-enhanced Puppetry and the bastard!
The outcome was obvious. No matter how much it was strengthened, Puppetry was never a combat spell. In another five seconds the bastard would rip the spear out, steal it, and flee.
“Mana of lightning flowing through the sky.”
"Mana of lightning flowing through the sky."
"Become seven strands of nails and pierce. Lightning Arrows!!"
──Of course, five seconds was more than enough for me.
I leaped toward the spear shaft while chanting. Seven arrows formed around my fist. I slammed that fist into the end of the spear.
“Enchant!!”
Kwaaaaaaaaang!!
The mass of electricity raced up the shaft, turned into golden lightning upon touching the blade, and sprayed sparks. The moment Larilura’s Puppetry threads snapped, the lightning swelled in size.
“Kkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaa───!!!”
Lightning brightly illuminated the tower’s interior. I kept pouring current into the spear shaft. The boss bug could offer no resistance to the electricity ravaging its body and could only scream.
How could a creature that had never even seen light know what lightning was? If it had known, it would have ignored mere stones and worshipped the sky as a god. Just like the primitives who created Beast Regression.
“Koooo!!!”
It was when the bug’s entire body was half-cooked despite its tough carapace. Its pitch-black eyes suddenly rolled back. I flinched. Even though the smell of burning flesh was invading my nose, its murderous intent hadn’t diminished in the slightest!
“Kkk…… K─KKK──!!!”
“Fuck!”
Its hand reached for my arm. I hurriedly canceled the spell to avoid a short circuit. But by the time the current vanished, my wrist was already caught. The hook rose up as if to smash my skull. Even after being charred black, the thick arm that could crush a human head a hundred times over swung toward me.
The moment I gritted my teeth and raised my fist to counter—
“Don’t touch senior.”
At Larilura’s low voice, the blackened hook sliced futilely through empty air.
“……K?”
The bastard looked confused, as if it didn’t understand why its arm had swung so strangely. But I saw it. On the left hand that had grabbed Larilura and dragged her to the other world—pink mana was sparkling.
Puppetry engraved with Enchant magic!!
The enchantment book I had lent her while learning Lightning Arrows came to mind. So did the fact that Larilura had located the bastard’s position with a sharpness unlike her usual self.
“Hey, you’re fucking amazing! Larilura!!”
“Of course! I’m not the type to just take it lying down!!”
It was an incredibly reliable answer. Laughing loudly, I kicked the bug bastard in the stomach. The giant carapace bug that had released my hand staggered and tried to activate its penetration ability, but it was impossible. There was no way it could be in perfect condition after electricity had been rampaging through its body.
“K─nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooorrrr!!”
“Acting arrogant one by one—you’re just a bug!!!”
Larilura shouted fiercely in response to its roar and raised her hand toward the ceiling.
Kwaaaang!!!
A massive shadow smashed through the ceiling. Ringling No. 3.5, dressed in clown clothes, descended by shattering the floor that was softer than the outer wall.
It’s the long-range Puppetry Anasiss used!
So that was what Larilura had been concentrating on the whole time! I quickly backstepped to clear space for the Magic Arrow to fly. Of course, if she had become skilled enough at enchantment to cast Puppetry on the spear the moment she was being dragged away, there was no way she wouldn’t have enchanted her own puppet. Ever since we returned to the ruins, she had been focusing on magic and summoning her main weapon!
“If you can dodge it, then dodge!!”
Larilura bared her teeth and swung her arm. Whiiiiing—! With a heavy mechanical sound, the puppet crossed its hands. Massive mana gathered at its fingertips and emitted pink light.
"Emission of Radiation!!!"
Kwaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
The pink laser beam swept through the passage. It must have been a spell that fired an enlarged Magic Arrow reinforced by a giant golem’s core. She seemed to have poured every last drop of mana into it; the power was so overwhelming it sent chills down my spine even though I wasn’t the target. Output strong enough to land a solid hit on a dark mage’s giant golem!
The bug, unable to activate its penetration ability, had no stamina left to dodge a laser that filled half the corridor. It took the merciless bombardment head-on. Its dragonfly-like wings danced as its limbs, shattered by the physical energy blast, rained onto the floor.
“Krrrrrr!!!! OoooooooooooOOoooooooo!!!!”
The instant the laser beam filled half the passage and exploded—
“A bug bastard dying to a laser is more than you deserve.”
I dashed through the remaining half of the corridor. My target was the spear that had fallen to the floor. There was no time to pick it up properly. My elite brain had already calculated that the probability the bastard would recover and dodge in that interval exceeded 140%.
But so what? To an ultimate perfect-form ultimate old virgin like me, something like that was no problem at all.
──As I’ve said many times, the true essence of a bipedal creature’s muscular power lies in the lower body. Whether it’s this world’s green elementary-schooler, a walking deer, or a walking bug, it’s all the same. Since ancient times, those who sought freedom of the hands have traded waist pain for overwhelmingly powerful leg strength!
Therefore this was inevitable from beginning to end. It was the final mercy bestowed by us humanity—the cosmic favorites and dimensional primates with far more advanced civilization—upon the foolish aliens as the Zel’Naga of another dimension.
“Eagle, shoot—!!!”
I became a national-team striker and kicked the end of the fallen spear shaft with my foot.
Ping!! Thwock!!
The body coordination I had trained with the zergling showed its worth. The mithril spear I launched using my other-dimensional killing method embedded itself in the bug bastard’s neck. The power was truly insecticidal; a mere bug had no means of preserving its life.
“Koooorrrr……”
The roasted bug looked down at the mithril Adam’s apple that had sprouted from its neck with eyes whose light had gone out. Its carapace, turned to rags by electricity and bombardment, offered no defense. Its legs, which had slightly sunk due to the penetration ability, floated up limply. Having failed even its final escape, it glared at me one last time and reached out its hand.
Thud.
And finally, as if its life force had been exhausted, it collapsed backward. That was the end given to the visitor from another dimension.