Welcome to the Golem Commotion (12)
"Heh heh. It's nothing. I simply pieced it together from the evidence you all gathered. Please don't put absolute faith in it."
I shook his hand while playing the modest card. Praise didn't bring me the slightest bit of joy. The last thing I needed was them coming back later with a Wait, that wasn't it, you bastard and tossing me in jail for obstructing official business. Let's just stay strangers after this. Acting like I knew everything was too much hassle.
"Not at all. Truthfully, even after hearing they obtained a power stone from the hobgoblins, we never thought to connect the two incidents."
"...Well, even if you locate the hideout the goblins found, it probably won't mean much. If they could have stolen the goods, it must have been an abandoned hideout from a long time ago."
"Of course we understand that much. Still, we can at least infer that the dark mage is moving from hideout to hideout while plotting something."
Cromwell lowered his voice. "Everyone gathered here is competent, but precisely because of that, the meeting devolved into each person stubbornly insisting on conclusions based solely on their own experiences and speculations. I'm ashamed to admit I was the same."
"Yes, I understand."
Well, yeah. People from this world aren't used to logical reasoning. Was it because they lacked the ability to construct logical arguments? No way. The real issue was that subjective opinions kept creeping in every time they tried to reason something out.
"By laying out only the exact facts in a framework no one could refute, Mister Nord, you achieved far better results than any of us."
Cromwell was right. In this world, people who could truly just look at the facts were rare. Back on Earth, inductive reasoning based on evidence and positivism were relatively recent developments in human history, so it wasn't surprising. Even in the 21st century, plenty of people fell for complete nonsense.
Take the same pandemic—some people gathered symptoms, figured out transmission methods, and developed countermeasures, while others concluded it was all a government conspiracy and that vaccines would implant nanochips to turn you into Bill Gates' slave. Once personal opinions mix into logical reasoning, the person's experiences and personality inevitably show up in their conclusions. That was exactly why they had accepted my brain-spun theories based on pure facts so readily.
"So it's no exaggeration to say you've taught me something, Mister Nord. Did you perhaps work in academia back in your homeland?"
"No. I simply had the opportunity to receive a bit of education."
A veterinary student on leave. Or rather, at this point I was basically a dropout.
"I see. Then I won't keep you any longer. Let's get to the main point."
Cromwell took out a sheet of paper and cast a spell.
—Whirrrrrr!
Ink surged up and engraved letters onto the paper like a printing press.
"Mister Nord. If you ever develop an interest in magic or require the help of a sorcerer, please visit our guild."
"Huh?"
"This is a certificate issued by me, a Sorcerer of the Sargadis branch, vouching for your identity. Until I dispel the magic on it, you will be treated as a quasi-guild member at the Sargadis branch even without officially joining."
Quasi-guild member treatment? When my eyes widened, Cromwell let out a hearty laugh.
"It's nothing special. If you want to purchase magic or items that are only sold to guild members, just show them this."
So basically, this was like a free Costco membership card for another world? Even after accepting the paper, I was still stunned. You'd still have to pay for the items themselves, but a certificate that let you use a members-only store was quite valuable. But there was no such thing as a free lunch anywhere in the world! If I happily took this and used it, who knew—maybe one day I'd wake up with my head shaved bald and locked in the guild basement, forced to work as a reasoning goblin for the rest of my life.
Lost in that wild delusion, I ended up blurting out the question.
"Why are you giving something this valuable to a guy like me?"
"As I've said repeatedly, there's no need for such humility."
Humility my ass. Why the hell are you giving me this? It's burdensome. Cromwell waved his hands in a friendly, placating gesture.
"My hobby is creating connections through these little encounters. Please don't feel burdened."
With that, the representative of the Mage Guild left, carrying himself with the swagger typical of men from this world. And in front of me remained only one woman who had clearly been waiting for me to be alone. There was no need to ask who she was. White hair was extremely rare even in this world.
"It's been a while, Nord."
Tirsi greeted me with a smile.
"Since we last met in the sewers, this feels like our 'first meeting,' doesn't it?"
"Heh heh. Yes. 'If that's how we're playing it,' then it has been a while."
It really had been a while since we'd met as Nord rather than Arthur Wayne. We laughed like elementary school kids sharing a secret prank.
"Haha. Still, I was genuinely surprised. I never imagined you'd be here, Tirsi."
That part really was unexpected. Tirsi's magical skills were outstanding, but was she skilled enough to be deliberately recruited as a combat operative? As far as I knew, she wasn't very familiar with combat magic and couldn't strengthen her body with mana.
"I was chosen by Lord Cromwell himself. This is essentially the Anti-Dark Mage Coalition, isn't it? They carefully selected only trustworthy people, so even a 7-star mage like me received a position."
"That must be quite the—7-star?"
I trailed off and muttered blankly. Unless my elite memory core was displaying a blue screen of death, I was certain Tirsi had been 8-star.
"Fufufu. You noticed? Yes! That's right! I got promoted!"
Tirsi flashed a V-sign with a bright grin.
She looked so proud that I clapped for her with genuine delight.
"Congratulations! That's wonderful news. It must be thanks to the passion you pour into magic and the talent you've demonstrated."
"I wonder? I hope so."
Tirsi covered her face with her hands as if embarrassed. There was no need to feel shy about having her skills officially recognized.
"Was it because of your consistently sincere conduct that you were selected for this coalition and given their trust?"
"Ah, well, there were various reasons. For example—helping a certain archaeologist who was hiding his identity punish the rotten instructor who was a festering boil on the guild's ass?"
Tirsi spoke mischievously. I let out a small chuckle.
"Oh dear. Whoever that person is, they must not be very proud of themselves."
"Then I would be even happier. Anyway, are you participating in this golem subjugation as well, Nord?"
"Yes. I don't have the skill to join the dark mage subjugation team, but I plan to participate in taking down the golems."
Honestly, I didn't have the qualifications to butt into this. Even our shitty boss—er, branch chief—had been forced to step back grumbling during the core meetings of this coalition. Tirsi's face brightened at my words, as if she was pleased.
"Oh, I see! I probably won't be assigned to the front lines either because of my skill level. Maybe we'll run into each other in the field?"
"Heh heh. In that case, I'll be counting on your wonderful support like last time. I'll protect you with everything I've got too."
"That's reassuring. Can I rely on you?"
For some reason, this girl's gaze had felt a bit heavy since earlier. Not understanding why, I rubbed my face.
"Is there something on my face?"
"Fufu. No? It's just that you're very handsome."
"Your aesthetic sense is rather unique compared to your excellent fashion sense."
This was the first time since Franc that a woman had called me handsome. Even my own mother only ever said things like You little shit, your face is kinda something. What the hell does "kinda something" even mean, Mom?
Hit by a sudden wave of cringe, I felt the salmon-like instinct to return home and spoke up.
"Ah, I really should get going now. Good luck with the rest of the meeting, Tirsi."
"Yes! I'll do my best!"
What an energetic reply. After saying a solid goodbye to the white-haired mage girl, I dashed back to the inn. I had obtained a free pass to the Mage Guild (with additional payments required), but more than that, I wanted to bury myself in Franc's chest and rest.
When I returned to the inn, I found Franc had become Larilura's marionette.
"Ah."
"Ah."
"The hell?"
I wasn't even sure what I was saying, but that was the situation. Larilura stood on the bed, connecting Puppetry threads to Franc's body and manipulating her.
"What the fuck. What the hell happened while I was out getting dragged to someone else's workplace?"
"Ufufu. I've been found out~♡?"
Larilura declared with a wicked grin to the dumbfounded me.
"I am the wicked first-rate clown from the Dark Mage Association, Larilura! Senpai's adorable girlfriend has become my doll★!"
"That's a truly shocking revelation. Franc, stop laughing and explain."
"Puhuhu. No, I was thinking that if I let myself be controlled by Puppetry like what happened with Nord last night, I might be able to feel the mana."
Franc, who had been holding back her laughter, gave me the explanation. I see. Since Puppetry was magic that moved objects by connecting threads of mana, it might actually have some effect.
Larilura panicked like a magician whose trick had been exposed.
"Aah! I was trying to tease Senpai, why did you explain it so easily!"
"Because it looked like Nord was going to attack after thinking for about ten seconds?"
"Huh? Ah, I did think about 'drawing my sword and throwing it, pulling Franc's leg so she can't be used as a shield, then charging in and snapping her neck—' up to that point."
"I'm sorry please spare me!"
—Leap! Larilura jumped into a prostration pose. It was an incredibly practiced motion. I don't think I could have done it that cleanly even if she asked me to.
"It was a joke, you can stand up."
"Your eyes didn't look like you were joking at all!!"
"You noticed?"
This was also thanks to my thinking speed having gradually increased since awakening my mana. Or should I say because of? It was 99% a joke, but I had been multitasking because of that 1% possibility. As if I couldn't even tell when someone was joking.
"Yah! This is payback for the big sister who teased me☆!"
Larilura activated Puppetry without a chant and made Franc strike a lewd pose. Mwah~! Forced into a sexy provocation while blowing me a kiss, Franc's face turned bright red as she thrashed around.
"L-Larilura!! You little—!!"
"Aah?! Don't put strength into it! The magic is coming undone?!"
—Shudder! Franc shook her body like a dog that had just come out of the water. The Puppetry threads shook like bad Wi-Fi before snapping apart.
"Get over here!! You never learn unless you get properly scolded!!"
"Ahaha♡! I'm sorry~!!"
—Leap! Leap! The two beautiful girls ran around the inn room in a chaotic frenzy. This channel is worth watching. If only I had popcorn. Since corn exists in this world too, maybe I could try making some.
"Senpai♡! Save me~!"
Larilura, who had been fleeing in a silly manner, used me as a shield to hide behind. What the hell. Can characters jump out of the screen now? This was some serious 4D shit.
"Nord! Catch Larilura!"
"Yes ma'am."
—Grab! I automatically seized Larilura like an air conditioner remote turning on.
—Blink blink. Larilura's eyes widened so much they looked like they might pop out, like a bird caught in someone's hand.
"Senpai. You know I feel incredibly betrayed right now, right?"
"No idea, haha."
I handed the captured criminal over to Franc. Franc delivered a motherly smack to Larilura's back. Larilura twitched like a squid on a hot grill.
"Kyaaah!! It hurts!! It hurts more than when the leader does it!!"
"Did you do wrong or not!!"
"I diiid wrooong!!"
After receiving a thorough scolding, Larilura flopped onto the bed with her butt sticking out. I took off my armor and spoke.
"Hey. Larilura. Go sleep in your own room."
"Don't you think you and big sis are too harsh on me, Senpai?"
"In Kitai, there's a saying: you reap what you sow."
"That's strange. Then I should be receiving cuteness instead."
"If you say so, then sure. In your imagination, at least."
Poof~. I made the sound effect with my mouth. Larilura buried her face in the bed before getting up and rubbing her nose.
"By the way, Senpai? How about asking Mister Dorka to change the bed sheets?"
"Why? Does it smell like something?"
"Yeees~? There's a slightly sweet, salty, sour, tangy smell~? It's not that bad though☆!"
"Sweet, salty..."
"Sour, tangy...?"
Franc and I exchanged glances. Her face went pale, then flushed bright red. I answered, trying to sound calm.
"Must be your imagination."
"What? No no. If you smell the slightly discolored spot here—"
"It's your imagination. Definitely your imagination."
We were a betrothed couple who had been living together for a month now. We still weren't used to preparing the place for guests.