Welcome to the Golem Commotion (10)
I knew it. I fucking knew I should’ve stayed home. Nobody told me I’d have to explain shit in front of this many people!
Dragged out of nowhere and forced to give a presentation. Sweat rolled down my cheek from pure nerves. I almost wiped it away but caught myself at the last second. Fuck it. Whatever. Just pretend I’m doing a phone sales pitch.
I tightened my core. It’s not like they’ll stab me for screwing up my words. Why the hell am I so tense? Besides, if I started babbling nonsense here, I’d never be able to face Franc again. I had to be the kind of cool boyfriend she could brag about anywhere.
“Let’s skip the self-introduction. I doubt any of you are actually curious about my name.”
I spoke calmly. But what the fuck do I do with my hands? Normally during a presentation you’d have something to hold onto.
“Before I begin my explanation, I’d actually like to ask you something first. Why exactly did you call me here? I just got back from Heisvent and haven’t been briefed on the details.”
“We wanted to ask you about the black mage that both the Mage Guild and the Gilpy Guild have been pursuing,” answered the representative from the Mage Guild.
The guy looked strangely familiar. Wait a fucking second. Wasn’t he the gray-haired mage who stopped the guards from castrating me back at the Mage Guild? Could he actually be the guild master? No, that didn’t make sense. No matter how stupid those guards were, they would’ve recognized the guild master’s face. Still, he had to be pretty high-ranking. The fact that he was attending this joint meeting under the lord’s banner meant he was a senior mage trusted by the guild master himself.
Why the hell is this guy here? There was no way he’d recognized me, right? I felt sweat pouring down like a waterfall. Back then I’d only been wearing a plain mask and robe, so maybe he hadn’t caught on. Even Tirsi hadn’t recognized me right away.
“We discovered a power stone of the exact same type in the black mage’s hideout that we explored. Therefore, we’re operating under the possibility that both hideouts belong to the same individual.”
The Mage Guild representative spoke with crisp, clear pronunciation. I had nowhere to put my hands, so I brought one up to stroke my chin. I had no idea what golems had to do with black mages, but I just wanted to answer their questions and get the hell home.
“I understand. However, I believe I already reported everything I could… Was there something missing from my report?”
This question was directed at the representative from the Audumla Guild. He was a young man carrying a bow. The gleaming Gold Class plate on his chest made him look like a successful adventurer.
“Haa. You didn’t mention the location of the most important hideout, did you?” said a mature beauty who looked to be in her forties. She was the representative from the Gilpy Guild.
I asked him the question, so why the hell are you answering? I glanced at the female mage-adventurer, but I didn’t have the balls to complain, so I answered obediently.
“I couldn’t report what I didn’t know. I was simply carrying out a request with my party as usual when I obtained that item from a hobgoblin.”
Depending on how you looked at it, you could say it was my fault. But I didn’t apologize. If I carelessly said sorry in a place like this and got hit with some bullshit like “Then you take responsibility,” my entire adventurer career would be fucked.
Still, who else here could speak Goblin at a near-native level and have a proper listening-and-speaking conversation with a hobgoblin? None of these people would suddenly think, Oh, while I’m fighting monsters I should try talking to one and ask where it got its item!
So nitpicking me over this was just unfair.
“It can’t be helped. Could you at least tell us the exact process by which you obtained the power stone?” asked the guard captain.
I responded with maximum responsibility avoidance, using the classic public servant technique of vague rambling. Take this! Twenty-first century bureaucratic speech!
“Well— that is to say, this is purely my personal opinion, but—”
I briefly explained how I’d gone out on a goblin extermination request sent from a nearby village, how I’d subjugated a hobgoblin hiding in an abandoned temple, how the creature had been unusually strong so I’d suspected its staff, and how I’d recovered it after sensing mana from the stone embedded in it.
I left out the part about actually talking to the goblins. I wasn’t an idiot. Why the hell would I say that?
“That’s all. Does anyone have questions?”
I immediately regretted saying that. Fuck! I channeled way too much university PPT energy! Please, nobody ask anything…!
“Where exactly was this temple where the hobgoblin was?”
My desperate prayer was completely ignored. The Mage Guild representative asked the question with a sly little smile.
Fuck. I tried to live a good life… Guess only the bastards get to eat well and live comfortably in this world.
I felt my sanity points dropping as I answered.
“It’s difficult to explain with words alone. Do you have a map?”
“We’ll bring one. Hey!”
At the guard captain’s order, a soldier brought over something like a whiteboard. It didn’t have wheels, so two guards had to carry it together.
Thud!
A map of Britannia was pinned to the board. I found Pefort Village and marked its location with a pushpin.
“It was an abandoned temple around here. From the architectural style, it appeared to be a folk shrine from old Britannia. Since there was a high chance it would become a goblin nest, I advised the village chief to take appropriate measures before I left.”
Since I was already in this deep, I explained as thoroughly as possible so they wouldn’t have any more questions.
“First, keep in mind that considering goblin habitat and behavior patterns, they would not have crossed the river.”
Goblins are short and stupid. They don’t know how to cross rivers. Like cats, they physiologically hate and fear water, so even if there’s a bridge they won’t cross it. Therefore, the ones I caught couldn’t have come from across the river behind Pefort Village to build their nest.
“Since they built their nest close to the village, their attention would have been focused there. It’s hard to imagine that goblins following a hobgoblin’s orders would have wandered off midway down a different path.”
“And your point is?” asked the Gilpy Guild representative, twirling her hair.
Wanting to go home as quickly as possible, I answered roughly.
“Hobgoblins don’t value their subordinates. Goblins are monsters that submit to strength, so while they may slack off, they still obey orders. If the hobgoblin had subordinates, there’s no way it would have moved diligently on its own. And if there’s no case of goblins breaking away midway—”
Tap!
I pinned a pushpin into the forest connecting Sargadis and Pefort Village. I was too busy talking to find the forest’s name. Aaaargh! This other world’s map data is absolute dogshit!
“—then there’s a high probability the hobgoblin obtained the power stone from this forest. This is purely my personal opinion, but the black mage’s second hideout may also be in this area.”
“…Is there a possibility it came from a different direction?”
The golden bowman from Audumla, who had been quiet until now, asked the question. Don’t ask me that, you bastard. Now I could only say “Well, that is…”
I spun my elite brain at full power and answered.
“As a senior from the Audumla Guild, you should remember. About a week ago, there was a goblin flood around that forest. The ruins our guild discovered were also in that direction.”
“That’s right.”
“As is well known, goblin nests form around a single boss with subordinate groups gathering beneath it. Please consider the number of goblins at that time. If they had all overflowed from the same lair, the boss would have been quite powerful—at least by goblin standards.”
“Goblin King,” said Nefertiti, who had been completely silent until now.
I had no idea where she was looking. She looked like a cat staring blankly into space.
“Our guild’s Bronze Class party. They only killed the king and died. All the remaining goblins ran away… so I cleaned up after them.”
“I see. Was the king a hob?”
“Hob?”
Nefertiti tilted her head at me. After a Sekhmet Guild member whispered something from behind, she nodded.
“Yes. Hob.”
“Then the credibility of this hypothesis increases slightly.”
Thump. Thump. I tapped my own chest with my hand.
“If it was a creature that escaped pursuit from a Mithril Class adventurer, I would have died to it a hundred times over. Therefore, the hobgoblin I killed was likely one that lost a territorial dispute with the Goblin King.”
Ah, the “died a hundred times” part was an exaggeration. Even if it had been stronger than the Goblin King, I probably could’ve run away with Franc. I just lied because if I got over-evaluated it would only make things more annoying.
“I killed the hobgoblin roughly seven days after the incident first occurred. If it began moving before the Sekhmet Guild discovered the goblin nest dungeon, that would be just enough time for goblins to discover a hideout and settle near Pefort Village, considering their stride length. Therefore—”
Swoosh.
I drew a line with my finger across the forest marking between Sargadis and Pefort. A green line etched with rune magic clearly displayed the predicted migration route.
“It is highly probable that the defeated hobgoblin led its following goblins in migration. While there is no concrete evidence, this is far more reasonable than the hypothesis that the goblins crossed the river behind Pefort Village or took a long detour.”
I forcibly squeezed out the chest-tightening feeling I always got during PPT presentations and finished my reasoning.
“And if there is a second black mage hideout in this forest, it’s possible it isn’t too far from the one discovered by the Gilpy Guild.”
I finished with the classic public servant “I don’t know” technique. Fuck, it’s over. Can I go home now?
…….
…….
…….
…But what’s with this atmosphere?
I had been thinking Alright, time to go home, rest up, and hunt some golems tomorrow~ but the suddenly heavy mood in the conference room made me extremely anxious. What the hell? Did I accidentally touch some taboo?
Even after living here nearly four years, I still didn’t fully understand this world’s culture. Had I made some weird mistake while explaining so passionately? Was there some unspoken rule against drawing lines on maps with rune magic?
I felt my pupils quake like a private who had accidentally said “fuck” during his arrival report.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
That was when Nefertiti suddenly started clapping. Well, if you could even call it clapping. It looked more like she was trying to kill a mosquito between her palms.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
But her unique clapping started a wave of applause. The guard captain began clapping with a very pleased expression, followed by the golden bowman from Audumla and the Mage Guild representative. Even the Gilpy Guild lady, who looked like she’d bitten into a bug, joined in.
“Excellent! A truly brilliant deduction!” said the guard captain, patting me on the back.
Only then did I realize why they had switched into celebration mode.
Fuck!! I went too far!!
I should’ve just given a half-assed answer and bounced, but the eyes staring at me had accidentally flipped my presentation mode on!!
Gaaaaah!!! I picked the wrong choice!!!!!
The aftereffects of working my ass off for scholarships in college were showing up in a place like this! Kang Buk-ho, you son of a bitch! Who the hell do you think you are, Sherlock Holmes?!
I was screwed. Everyone had bought into my bullshit. And now there were people looking at me like I was some brilliant strategist.
Tirsi, that gaze is seriously burdensome, fuck.
“I’d like to hear more of Mister Nord’s opinion. Does anyone have any objections?”
There were no objections to the guard captain’s words.
Hey, why the hell aren’t there any?! Object, damn it. Even though this world doesn’t have mystery novels, you people are sometimes way smarter than me. Please… don’t fall for the opinion of some rookie adventurer…
“We are currently considering the possibility that the person behind this golem commotion is the aforementioned black mage.”
The Mage Guild representative, who now seemed to completely expect my input, spoke.
“Those golems may have occurred naturally, but just as we give nutrients to farmland to accelerate growth, it isn’t difficult to ‘promote’ natural occurrences.”
Whoosh.
A cloud appeared above his hand and then vanished. Even though I wasn’t in my right mind, the words made me recall the magic Hotulusil had used.
So you’re saying someone intentionally induced the creation of those golems? And not just anyone, but that insanely powerful great bastard that you people have been chasing your asses off without even finding?
But… why are you telling me this…
The atmosphere earlier had been “ask what you need and kick him out.” Why were they suddenly looking at me with those eyes?
I’m just a dumb Kitai nomad, okay? The only thing I know how to do is flap my gums real good…
The Mage Guild representative smiled and asked me.
“What do you think?”
I thought about it with deadly serious intensity before answering.
“I have no idea.”