Morning Mayhem and Principal Dreams
Ha... what the fuck, my head's pounding! Ding-dong...!
As I lay sprawled on the bed, a crisp chime rang through the room, snapping me awake. I bolted upright, and Dang Soso, who'd been nestled in my arms all night, tumbled off the bed with a thud, rolling onto the floor.
"Shit...?"
I grabbed my phone from the bedside table out of habit. Sure enough, it was blowing up with missed calls. Plenty of time before heading to the Academy, but seeing Dang Soso standing there naked, staring blankly at me and the indescribable state of the bed, I swept back my hair and jumped up.
"Number One, clean this place up while I'm gone, got it?"
She nodded silently, stripped off the soiled bedsheets, and headed into the bathroom to start the laundry. Watching her drain my "water" earlier and now handling the bedsheets too—my lips twitched into a grin despite the urgency.
Perfect little maid. Heh heh.
I savored the sight of her bare ass for a moment as she bent over the laundry. But the final boss's arrival alert blared in my ear again, so I left her to it and burned away the impurities clinging to my body with mana.
It was bittersweet using Super Samadhi True Flame for cum cleanup, but I snatched up my scattered panties from the floor and bolted to the front door.
Beep. The door lock clicked open, and Park Jisu peeked through the crack.
"Hey! Why the hell didn't you pick up?! You trying to die?!"
The tiny brat was yapping away with her usual cocky attitude, but right now, I had no choice but to play nice.
First, keep her from coming inside.
Dang Soso was buried in laundry from all the fluids in the master bedroom—she wouldn't emerge anytime soon. But the lewd stench permeating the whole house might give Park Jisu the wrong idea, and that worried me more.
"President Park, why don't you wait in the parking lot? As you can see, I just woke up. Place reeks. Heh heh."
She yanked at the door trying to barge in, and I pulled back to block her. The door groaned like twisting steel.
"What do you mean I can't come into my house?!"
Since when was it her house?
"H-Hey, no mixed company under one roof!!! You slut!"
Still riding the wuxia vibe from yesterday, I scolded her in dramatic historical drama tone. Her reckless nature made her flinch.
Her eyes darted, peeking at my half-naked body through the gap. After a silent beat, she swallowed hard, cheeks flushing red, and nodded faintly.
"R-Right...? Yeah, you can house-hunt later...? Heh heh. Okay, hurry down?"
"Uh, y-yeah...? Sure."
She poked my nipple like a doorbell, giggled to herself, and turned away.
Crisis averted, thank fuck—but her brightness was annoyingly cute. I shook my head.
"Ugh... gotta wash up first."
As I scratched my head and headed to the living room bathroom—
BOOM!!!
An explosion rocked the master bedroom. Dang Soso flashed in my mind; I rushed in to find the sink shattered, water spraying everywhere as she punched the bedsheets buck-naked.
Spotting me, she met my eyes and kept pounding away, like that was how laundry worked. One thought hit me hard.
Does this bitch even know what laundry is...?
Sex? She handled every position and kinky play like a pro, thanks to the implanted memories. But laundry? A pampered princess who'd never lifted a finger...
Splat! Thud!
Now channeling mana, the soaked sheets tore apart, shreds flying everywhere. Cum, toilet water, bedsheet chunks... the bedroom was fucked.
I sighed irritably, shoved her into my Inventory, and the broken sink gushed water across the floor.
A massive rage spider crawled over my skull.
"Fucking hell..."
Rubbing my temples, I washed up with the busted sink water. Whatever—the house was getting a new one anyway, and I wasn't broke. As for Dang Soso's laundry skills? I'd train her. With her ginger corpse obedience, teaching her would be a breeze.
Mindset is everything. My boiling anger cooled into a warm smile.
Slipping into my cadet uniform, I remembered: time to act as instructor, not cadet.
"Right. Housewife Number One's innocent. The real culprits are my dumbass classmates... Heh heh."
Why rage at them? Who cares—good for everyone. They train hard, I vent stress.
A sleazy grin spread across my face.
Mindset my ass.
Hoping the classmates survived my training, I headed out.
+++
"So you'll come in a bit later?"
Park Jisu asked as we parked and entered the Academy. I nodded.
"Yeah, Instructor Jongcheol will introduce me at morning assembly."
"Ooh... But you're not gonna go hardcore on training, right...? Y-Your... eyes look weird?"
The wrecked bedroom bathroom lingered in my mind, dealing psychic damage. Her fidgety glances were adorable.
She knew me best—reading the mischief in my gleaming eyes.
"Gotta go easy on partners, right, President Park? Heh heh."
"R-Right? I'll trust you, Kang... Honestly, no guns means training's tough now..."
"...Quit whining..."
I tsked, ruffling her hair roughly, but her mention of guns nagged me.
"Speaking of, what happened to your guns? Association hooking you up again?"
She sighed dramatically, kicking a roadside pebble.
Splat!
It rocketed like a bullet, embedding in the Academy wall. Impressive for norms, routine for cadets. I nodded, gauging the height.
"Fuck... Think the Association prez caught on to my plan..."
"You thought that'd fly? Taking the handouts then ghosting—obvious as hell."
"Son of a..."
She booted another, mana-charged. The wall shook; she scratched her head, spooked.
"Should I transfer here like you?"
"Do it. Principal's the most normal S-Rank hunter anyway... Gave me this too."
Infusing mana, Jorogumo's Armguard slithered out like a ghost. Park Jisu jumped.
Familiar with Association loot, she clocked it instantly.
"N-No way... That's the S-Rank subjugation trophy...?"
"Yeah... Simple spider silk shooter, but razor-sharp. Watch."
Showing off for my girl is always fun. Rank-up silk shot from my fingertips, knitting itself midair like mad.
"Whoa... Heard no one could use it, so Principal kept it as a souvenir..."
"Heh heh. In my hands? Fodder. Fuck."
"Guess he's grooming you as successor for real..."
I chuckled at her mutter. Oldest of three S-Ranks was the Principal. I'd guessed from the gift, but her agreement boosted my confidence—he saw me as next Principal.
"Yeah. Other S-Ranks hold key posts... Needs a new one for him to retire."
"Ooh, so not President Kang, but Principal Kang?"
Her eyes sparkled up at me. I snorted, shaking my head.
"Principal Kang and Vice Principal Park now."
"O-Oh!!!"
"Whaddya say, Vice Principal Park? Or Association desk jockey?"
She clenched her fist dreamily. I shot her a fond glare and headed inside.
Her choice was set.
She's mine—belongs in my crew.
Park Jisu trailed innocently, oblivious to the web. Too cute; wanted to yell it.
"H-Hey, Principal Kang. What's the salary like?"
"What else? You're my wife—your money's mine. I'll up your allowance, don't sweat it."
"R-Really...?"
That damn allowance... Her beaming grin made me press a finger to my lips, eyes sharp.
"Secret from your brother and sister-in-law?"
"O-Okay! Heh heh."
"Gotta hit the staff room first. Head to class."
"Got it! Hurry, Principal Kang!"
Grinning, she scampered off—total kid. My lip curled in amusement.