Treasonous Plots and My First Zombie Wife
The moment the word treason slipped from my lips, Ma-noe's face hardened instantly, and he began scanning the surroundings.
"Are you serious...?"
"No, have you been getting screwed over your whole life? Questioning every damn thing I say... sheesh."
Unlike my still-playful attitude, Ma-noe's expression remained deadly serious, showing no sign of easing up. A chuckle escaped me at how they acted just like people living under the emperor's direct rule.
"Don't laugh! Are you saying you really have something to report to the imperial family about treason?"
"Yes."
"...Who?"
How the hell was a group called the Demonic Cult so damn goody-two-shoes...?
It's a game world to begin with, built around my abilities, so maybe that's why? I just can't get used to it.
It felt like being a giant in Lilliput. Every thought of mine shattered their common sense, making me seem like some vile scumbag. It was getting uncomfortable.
"Who? It's those righteous sect nobodies."
"Which righteous sects?"
"...? You still don't get it... What I'm saying is, let's bundle 'em all up and deal with them at once."
At my words, Ma-noe blinked for a moment before his eyebrows shot up.
"A-Are you suggesting we lie right now?!"
"Sigh... Old man. What the fuck is treason even?"
I pressed him with eyes full of frustration and an irritated tone, making his shoulders twitch. He tilted his head as if wondering why he was even bothering to stop me, then obediently opened his mouth.
"Doesn't it mean rebellion against the emperor?"
"Then what happens to those who commit treason?"
"Well... They get enslaved, their clans wiped out— the harshest punishments imaginable..."
At that, I slapped my knee and leaned forward.
"That's the key point I noticed: clan extermination."
"Clan... extermination?"
"Yes. Even if you pin treason on one sect, like you said, wouldn't they just punish based on rank—sect leader, elders, and so on?"
"That makes sense."
Was he finally catching on to the flow of my words? Anticipation lit up Ma-noe's face. It felt like we were scheming like proper villains, and I couldn't help but shake off my excitement with a grin.
"So, what if we find evidence of treason in at least two or three righteous sects? 'Birds of a feather flock together,' 'Those who stay with ink turn black'—it's not just empty sayings."
"Report the entire righteous alliance as one hive to the imperial family...?"
"Heh heh. While we're airing their dirty laundry, let's strike first... 'We tried to stop the treason,' something like that."
Ma-noe crossed his arms, calculating in his head, then stared at me with trembling eyes at the promising plan.
"...You're saying this so boldly, so you must have solid evidence of treason, right...?"
To his worried yet fired-up gaze, I smirked with one corner of my mouth and nodded.
"Like I said, I have grounds to frame at least two places for treason."
"..."
Ma-noe furrowed his brow, urging me on. It pissed me off seeing this so-called strategist getting bossed around by the vice military officer like some skirt-chaser, but getting help from someone connected to the imperial family was crucial, so I forced a smile and met his expectations.
"Namgung Family, Mudang Sect. Solid evidence on those two... and, hmm... pinning it on Sacheon Tang Family too wouldn't be bad. With their patriarch gone and the infighting between main and branch families heating up... Plus, those poison-handling scumbags make the imperial family uneasy anyway—they'd jump at the chance."
I rattled off more ideas I'd cooked up for the imperial family, and Ma-noe's face went slack in shock.
"Y-You said Mudang Sect?"
"...? Yes."
"W-Wasn't that your sect? How can you..."
I couldn't grasp what Ma-noe was getting at, and my brows furrowed naturally.
"Now that I've thrown my lot in with the Divine Cult, what's an old sect good for? Feed me or something? Anyway, let's report Namgung and Mudang first for treason."
In an info war where speed was life, Ma-noe kept nitpicking and jumping at shadows—it was infuriating.
Sigh... Sima really would be perfect to work with. How's this airhead even a strategist...? Tsk.
Did my thoughts show on my face and body? Ma-noe, mid-lecture, shriveled up like a turtle.
I sighed again at his pathetic sight, then stood from my seat.
"Sigh... I've already reported to the Sovereign, so send a letter to your acquaintance in the know. I'll write it myself and have a maid deliver it."
"Y-You've reported to the Sovereign? What did he say?!"
Tsking at Ma-noe's spineless look, I recited exactly what Cheonma had told me before visiting.
"'Sounds fun,' he said."
For someone who'd maxed out his martial realm, everyone was fodder anyway. Stirring up imperial drama for spectacle and chaos? Pure entertainment.
Too strong for loneliness—as long as it's fun, life's worth living. Heh heh.
Recalling the academy principal's bored S-rank face from reality, I shook my head and ignored the dumbfounded Ma-noe, turning on my heel.
Game paused temporarily.
Back in reality, I dumped the points right away. Sahonroeju consumed 1,000 points and ranked up.
Unlike the basic traps I'd been pulling from my fingertips via the beggar elders, the influx of info let me weave threads with finger flicks—stabbing walls, returning to hand, all that bullshit. Now, they danced in my palm forming complex shapes.
This should be usable in real combat now.
Greed surged at the geometric frenzy before me, but aiming for another rank-up demanded nearly 1,500 points—upper-grade bullshit, as expected. I irritably dismissed it, retracting the threads.
At least the threads moved like extensions of my hands and feet now. One or two more sessions, and mastery seemed possible.
Fuck. From now on, new abilities better be mid-tier shit... Upper-grade ones are all like this. Damn.
Low-rank stuff crumbled in a day, but I sighed deeply and started dragging the living room table and sofa aside.
Sahonroeju rank-up was nice, but the real prize from this wuxia trip was something else.
"Hoo..."
It was already half-successful, but fearing it might break, I took a shaky breath and opened my Inventory, pulling it out.
What emerged was a hefty, ornate coffin around 180cm long. I gently stroked its surface and murmured softly.
"Rise, my dear...?"
At my words, the lid creaked open, revealing a woman.
Ashen skin like it'd been bleached, hazy eyes mismatched with her dainty face packed with delicate features. Poison-preserved as a jiangshi, her once-ebony hair gleamed bluish, blending with the gray skin for a decadent vibe.
The woman rising from the coffin, flaunting her decayed beauty, was the jiangshi-fied Dang So-so. Excitement bubbled—first time hauling another world's character into reality.
"Oh... sex..."
At "sex," Dang So-so stripped off her clothes in a flash, grabbed the sofa back I'd set aside, and thrust her ass toward me.
A perfect love doll—my lower half throbbed heavily.
"Tsk... Shame, really."
Approaching her presented rear and stroking her waist, a tongue-click escaped me.
Right after learning I could Inventory the jiangshi-fied Dang So-so, I'd sweet-talked Sima into mass-producing them. Fresh off wrecking the Murim Alliance, he happily obliged my request for more. I handed over my favorite maids, but unlike Dang So-so, none fit in my Inventory.
Figures—it's whether they gave up on life or not, blurring object and person. Fuck.
The difference between the maids and Dang So-so? Side NPCs vs. heroine NPC—and how much I'd abused them. With time, I could've wrecked them all, but suddenly lazy, I bailed with just her.
Never wanted the maids that bad anyway, and with Dang So-so's superior specs and looks, it was an easy pass.
Maybe that's why? Staring back at me with her waist still arched, I felt attached to Dang So-so.
You're my First Zombie Wife now. Heh heh.
No world I'd visited lacked a woman by my side, but none portable via Inventory—my lips twitched upward.
"Gonna hold off for now and rest."
Stripping like Dang So-so and pressing against her, she adjusted her waist height smoothly, meeting my expectations like always.
But what do I tell Jisu...?
It was the moment desire clashed with reason.