Comparison (1)
After that filthy, intense sex, roughly two weeks passed. Nothing dramatic happened, but I was able to savor my rich, satisfying days in a leisurely way. Doing it every single day would obviously get stale, so we kept it to once every two or three days. On the days we did fuck, though, it was sticky, persistent, and messy. Multiple rounds. The kind of sex that left her womb packed full of my cum, thick and creamy.
“Sit down. And stop your legs from shaking.”
“...Whose fault do you think this is, you idiot?”
“It’s been a full hour already. You’re still like this?”
“You did it while I was showering too…!”
“I said I got it.”
“….”
Of course, even setting our sex life aside, the days were satisfying in every other way. Haeun’s YouTube channel was sailing along nicely, and my stocks were still performing well. I had originally planned to dump them all because of that crazy bitch, but after the B-cut she sent over Telegram, I figured it was worth holding them a little longer. The nurse outfit had been surprisingly hot. The exposure was far more modest, but she had apparently worn it in the music video too.
Right on cue, the woman who had been barely covering her nipples on my phone appeared on the TV screen as well. Small but elegant curves. A face that suited the word “pure” better than anyone else’s. Skin even cleaner than her snow-white dyed hair. She radiated an aura that made it hard for anyone to approach her, yet her bright smile alone could enchant men. There was no need to count how many men’s fantasies she had stripped bare in.
For me, well… there was no particular need to count.
“Hey, doesn’t she look better on screen than in real life?”
“…It’s because her proportions are good. She’s short, so she probably isn’t much in person.”
Of course, it wasn’t hard to imagine how much jealousy and envy she drew from other women either. Haeun’s little sister had a certain cool factor, so she probably had plenty of female fans who “admired” her. But a type like Hinami didn’t seem like she’d be popular with her own gender no matter how you looked at it. The way she acted cute on broadcasts in a manner that wouldn’t fly with average looks, the occasional spaced-out or flustered act—every bit of it was calculated to collect enemies. She might as well have been walking around with nine tails. If she had a good reputation among women, that would be the real surprise.
“No, not her proportions. Her face. Seeing her in real life, she’s deathly pale. It’s kind of off-putting.”
“Heavy makeup usually makes it look like it’s floating on her skin.”
Seo Haeun, tapping away at her phone on the sofa while glaring at me, felt the same. Thanks to her wildly successful younger sister, her self-esteem had been ground down into this state. She had no reason to view Hinami—who stood in a similar position to that sister—favorably. She had even been mocked by her the first time they met.
Originally, whether those two got along or hated each other wasn’t my concern. But the situation had changed. The fact that I held a video of Hinami meant Hinami also held a video of me. One wrong move and it wouldn’t be strange to get reported to the landlady and kicked out in the middle of the night. Well… I doubted that crazy bitch would risk her own destruction like that. Still, there was always the possibility.
“Then you should do your makeup like that when you film later.”
“…You crazy bastard. You’re thinking about sex again, aren’t you…”
If it came down to it, abandoning Haeun was technically an option, but I had no desire to pick that route. I wanted to squeeze those soft, heavy tits whenever I felt like it. With Hinami, it was mostly the thrill of her name value. Honestly, we weren’t going to be together long, and I didn’t feel like investing that much in a woman who was little more than a sex partner. Compared to her, I wanted to keep my connection with Haeun going for a while longer.
“No, I’m talking about your YouTube channel, idiot. You’ll have to show your face eventually, won’t you?”
“…Why the hell would I show my face?”
“I’ve told you several times that with a face like yours, not showing it is stupid.”
“I don’t want to. I’ve already filmed so many videos in weird outfits. Now you want me to reveal my identity?”
“Just think about it for now.”
“I’m not doing it.”
Even though I hadn’t figured out my own way to make a living yet, I had already finished planning exactly how Haeun would make hers. It was the kind of idea any decent guy with a functioning dick would come up with, but anyway. Of course, I had no intention of leeching off that plan in the future. I knew all too well how much of a headache it became when the man turned into the subordinate in a relationship.
“Ah, well, fine. We’ll talk about it later.”
“…And stop talking about YouTube after you finish.”
“Why?”
“That… weird kimono comes to mind and it pisses me off, okay?”
“What’s wrong with the kimono? The only exposure was your legs.”
“You stuck a bamboo stick in my mouth and fucked me senseless…!”
“So you hated it?”
“….”
In the end, Haeun’s success was meant to tend to her mental state and to fill my desires more productively. If I simply shut her in a room and kept pounding her, she would break for certain. Violating a woman who was acknowledged by others felt far more arousing.
“You get wet when I do it, so I put a bamboo stick or a gag in your mouth. I went through the trouble of buying the outfit. Are you just going to throw it away after one or two videos?”
“…It’s only good for you, you evil bastard.”
“There you go again. I still remember how you shook and trembled every time I drove into you.”
“You son of a bitch, then fuck me slower!”
The same logic applied to my efforts to insert Hinami into this relationship. She was a woman acknowledged by the public, the kind men looked up to and dreamed of even holding hands with. She was the perfect tool to protect Haeun’s mentality.
“Fuck, I… even take the pills. You cum inside me and I don’t complain, so can’t you just act normal the rest of the time?”
“All right, all right. I won’t tease you anymore, so stop hitting me.”
“Son of a bitch… You don’t even pretend it hurts, fuck…”
“I got it, so quit losing your temper. How much money have I poured into your skin care lately? If you keep stressing yourself out, it’ll all go to waste.”
“…You’re the one who keeps piling on the stress, Kang Juhyuk.”
“And I relieve it just as much, don’t I?”
“….”
The inferiority complex lodged deep in Haeun’s chest wasn’t easily erased. I knew from bitter experience how quickly a team’s atmosphere would sour if you left a person drowning in inferiority complex alone. I also knew exactly how to dissolve it—I had learned by watching.
“…If you’re really too angry, just say so. I’ll lie still for a whole day and let you ride me.”
“…You crazy bastard.”
“It’s easy if you just think of it as a dildo. Right?”
“Where the hell is there a dildo that moves by itself, you crazy fuck…”
“There’s a twenty-six-year-old who calls herself seventeen with her own mouth, so what’s the problem?”
“….”
“Well, just looking at your face, you could pass for under twenty. You look younger than your sister, don’t you?”
“…It’s because she looks weirdly old, that’s all…”
Of course, words like these couldn’t fix it alone. No matter how smoothly I laid on the compliments, if she herself couldn’t believe them, the deeply rooted inferiority complex wouldn’t come out. It was also impossible for her to succeed enough to erase the feeling. Even if she hit a million or ten million subscribers on YouTube, she still wouldn’t measure up to a top-tier idol.
“Still, if you look younger than someone who makes a living off her face, then you are youthful. Even if a twenty-year-old looks old, she’s still around twenty-five.”
“….”
“…Want to do it in a school uniform after so long? The kimono was cumbersome and uncomfortable.”
“Pervert…”
No matter how gently I kissed her lips, no matter how lovingly I performed during sex, that deep-seated inferiority complex wouldn’t disappear unless I spent the whole day trampling someone. I had been the same. I had pitched for the thrill of crushing the bastards who earned more and performed better than me. No matter how many hits I took, I still won seventy percent of the time. Without trampling someone better than me beneath my feet, the frustration never eased.
“Ah, wait. Looks like I got a text.”
“…From who?”
“Want to see it? Your eyes are full of suspicion.”
“What… what did I do?”
“Here. Look. Stop pretending.”
“No, I… …What is this?”
“The girl we saw on TV earlier. Hinami.”
“….”
But I had no intention of being the one trampled or crushed. So there was only one choice.
“She’s a busy girl who still made time to invite me… It feels wrong to turn her down, doesn’t it?”
“You call that a question…!”
“You want to come along too?”
“…What?”
“Even if I say I’m not going, you won’t believe me anyway. …So just come. Come and tell her yourself. After that, she probably won’t contact me anymore.”
I had no choice but to throw her someone who would be trampled and crushed in my place. Well, she would probably enjoy it. There would be no victims. If anyone, maybe the fans who drooled over that crazy bitch would be the real victims.
“I don’t particularly want to meet a bunch of women either, you know? I have no intention of cheating. So if it really bothers you, come with me. If you say no, I won’t have sex with any other women.”
“…Don’t talk about cheating. We’ve never dated.”
“Ah, well, we can gloss over that. …So, are you coming or not?”
“….”
To make Seo Haeun understand just how attractive and superior a woman she was, my words alone would never be enough. The same went for anyone else. No matter how many idiots left sexual harassment comments, no matter how they lewdly praised every inch of her thigh flesh in anonymous spaces… you couldn’t know without experiencing it yourself. By looking at bodies inferior to hers. By laughing and mocking them out loud. Only then could she truly understand how much of a woman she was made for sex.