A Heart Defiant, A Body Surrendered
“Dinner was good tonight, wasn’t it, Haeun?”
How did things end up like this?
“Y-yeah… It was good…”
“Pasta’s surprisingly easy to make. And it’s not even that expensive.”
The rose pasta he’d cooked really was delicious—no empty praise there. But that wasn’t what mattered.
“Then let’s rest a bit… and head to bed. We’re hitting the gym tomorrow. You skipped two days already.”
“……”
…Kang Juhyuk refuses to leave my side. The moment I wake up, he’s right there. He won’t even let me shower alone. Meals are obviously shared. Sleep is spent beside him. He won’t allow me to hole up in my room either, forcing me onto the sofa instead. I spent the entire day rebelling, but he just smiled that easy smile and ignored every word. The dark intent hidden behind that friendly expression was so obvious that I couldn’t even push back properly.
“Ah, nice weather. Really.”
His hand lewdly stroking my thigh while he spouted nonsense made my skin crawl. Disgusting, yet I couldn’t slap it away. The more I resisted, the darker his eyes grew. I could feel it without him saying a word: I should be grateful he wasn’t dragging me straight to bed and taking me right now.
…I never made this bet. He just said something ridiculous, and I only agreed because I wanted to kick him out if I won. How did I end up losing? How did the bet turn into this?
“…Haeun.”
“……”
“Want to go for a walk? Help with digestion.”
“……No.”
“No? …Well, fine. Can’t be helped.”
Just hearing the word “walk” made my body go rigid. That day came rushing back—the dog collar around my neck as I was paraded outside, the way I had to act cute for Juhyuk just to get it off, stripping in front of the camera, saying filthy things to satisfy him. All of it.
“Ah. Views went up again. Look—already thirty thousand.”
“Th-that’s…”
I had to keep my end of an unfair promise to a man who barely kept his own. If I broke it, he’d use that as an excuse to ignore every promise he’d made.
“We should start thinking about monetization soon. Let’s try different outfits. What you’re wearing now is fine too. Tank top and leggings—the subscribers will go crazy for it.”
“……”
“If we burn through the image too fast it’ll be a problem, so no overly sexy clothes. Just casual stuff. Got it?”
“…Just pick something. I’ll wear it.”
…He’d already gotten me to agree to live together with nothing but that awful recording. If the video was this vulgar, how far was I supposed to let Kang Juhyuk go? How long would I have to live watching his every move? I didn’t know. I had no idea what to do anymore.
***
I knew this would happen once night fell.
“Take it off.”
It was almost surprising he’d held back until tonight. It wouldn’t have been strange if he’d jumped me yesterday. I should probably be grateful he waited even one day.
“……”
I pulled off the tank top and tossed it to the floor. The bra came undone with a few flicks, left to drop. The leggings he’d chosen from the closet were peeled off and crumpled away too.
“Lie down. Just like that.”
“……”
Hearing his low, mocking voice was still better than listening to fake affection all day from a man I didn’t even like. At least this way I could stay detached. With lifeless eyes, I met his gaze. All I had to do was offer my body.
“Looks like it’s healed. Down here.”
Thanks to Juhyuk, the once-raw skin between my legs had smoothed over. The irritation was almost gone. …Which meant he no longer had any reason to hold back. Even if I didn’t want it, he was already staring at me with his condom-covered cock standing stiff and proud. He wanted me—more precisely, he wanted my body.
“You’ll probably need some foreplay, so spread your legs. I’ll loosen you up a bit.”
“…No need.”
It had been like this from the very beginning. So foreplay, or anything else, was unnecessary.
“It’ll hurt if you’re not ready. A lot.”
“Doesn’t matter. …Just do it. Do whatever you want, Kang Juhyuk.”
Being taken by this man and feeling good like last time would be worse than just hurting.
“If I really did whatever I wanted, you wouldn’t be able to say that.”
“…You’ve already done it plenty of times. What are you saying now?”
“Says the girl who’s only had sex twice.”
Just like he said, we’d only done it twice. Once while drunk. Once when I tried to steal his phone. He’d done plenty of filthy things since then, but never gone all the way. Not that he’d kept any promises—he’d just made excuses while doing everything short of actual sex.
“Well… got it. Roughly.”
I had no idea what he thought he understood. It pissed me off that he ignored every “no” I gave him and still believed a little fake kindness would be enough.
…No, that wasn’t it. That psychopath didn’t think fake kindness would work. He was only pretending to be kind so he could toy with me.
“…What are you doing?”
“It’s cold. I’m pulling the blanket over us.”
Instead of pouncing on me while I’d already given up, he covered us with the blanket he’d pushed aside and pulled me tightly into his arms. …His rock-hard erection pressed against my stomach—disgusting, but the cotton blanket was warm.
“It was fine until evening, but once night hits it really gets cold. Even though it’s spring.”
“……”
I hated the pointless small talk. Hated the way he stroked my hair. Hated the pats on my back. I just wanted him to hurry up, take me, and pass out already.
“…Smells nice. What shampoo do you use?”
“…The same one you use.”
“Right, that makes sense.”
I wished he’d stop with the idle chatter. It would be easier if he just raped me and laughed at me already. Instead he kept petting my hair while pressing his pounding heartbeat against my chest.
“…Haeun.”
“……”
“Open your mouth.”
…Only now showing his true colors, he met no resistance as I obediently offered my tongue.
“Chuuup… mm…”
Lying face-to-face on our sides, trapped against a man far too large, his stiff cock grinding against my stomach while he violated my mouth in a suffocating kiss.
“Hah… mmph…”
If I closed my eyes and just accepted it, he’d give me a brief moment to breathe before sucking on my tongue again without pause. He pushed his own filthy saliva into me while stealing my minty one however he pleased.
“Hoo… ah… …”
“…Open your eyes, Haeun.”
Following the order, I cracked my eyelids open. Strangely, the version of Kang Juhyuk pretending to be kind was less terrifying than the one glaring at me now. No pretense, no hypocrisy, no deliberate cruelty. Just the raw gaze of a male consumed by lust. He was already raping me with his eyes.
“Breathe out slowly. Relax… It’s going to hurt.”
…Yeah. At least when he poured out his boiling desire so openly, I could just think of him as a beast and feel a little better about it.
“…Hnn…”
The hot cock slowly pushing inside me was, at the very least, far less disgusting than Kang Juhyuk himself. There was no hidden intent to take revenge or force my submission. It only wanted my body.
“Haeun, can I really do whatever I want?”
“…You’re already doing it, so stop asking…”
“…Really?”
“Just do whatever you want…!”
Forcing myself to ignore the strange, slippery, bloated sensation, I gave him my body while refusing to surrender my heart. After all, this man only wanted my body. If I gave him that, he’d be satisfied. Sex wasn’t a big deal.
“…Then I really will do whatever I want. I was planning to wait, but…”
Before I knew it he had me on my back again, climbing over me. He rocked his hips carefully, slowly pouring his desire into me. …I’d been scared for nothing, like an idiot. It didn’t even hurt much because it was so slick.
“Haeun.”
“…Why… why…”
“Do you really think I only want your body?”
“Of course you do, you bastard…”
Even if he asked obvious questions while taking me, it wasn’t shameful. We were just roommates mixing bodies. No matter how deep he pushed, it only hurt—it didn’t embarrass me. While I submitted to him, no one else would know a thing. …It was fine. Probably. It would be better if it hurt.
“No. I’ve never only wanted your body.”
“Shut up… just hurry up and finish…”
“Why would I only want your body? …It’s not your body that turns me on. It’s you.”
But instead of driving his thick cock all the way in, he kept pushing his low, rough voice into my ears.
“I love you, Haeun.”
“Shut up. Don’t say shit like that…!”
“You spread your legs so obediently. You don’t even notice when I fuck you raw. How could I not love you, Haeun?”
“Hey, you—you…!”
He was forcibly reviving my dead heart.
“It’s okay. I know everything. Today’s one of your dangerous days.”
…If I didn’t resist, I’d end up even more miserably broken than now.
“You crazy, insane bastard…! When are you ever going to stop…!”
“You’re a rich girl and your YouTube channel is doing well. It’s fine. …We can just raise it properly, right?”
His goal wasn’t to take my body—it was to destroy me.
“You… psycho… mmph… ugh…”
He covered my mouth and spoke with his body. Using that strangely sticky, slippery cock, he took me beneath the blanket where no one could see, thrusting deep, again and again.