The Deleted Account
Lying in bed, I gazed at Hinami, who was sound asleep. I brushed her hair aside. She’d talked such a big game about wanting more, but I hadn’t expected her to pass out after just one round. She must have been exhausted. Understanding that, I slipped out of bed, stretched, and left the room. Sleeping here with her would be nice, but… if Haeun woke up first, she’d probably sulk like crazy. On nights we weren’t having sex, we usually slept separately anyway, and after thinking it over, it seemed better to sleep alone tonight.
I gave my crotch a quick wash, took a drink of water, then lay down on my own bed for the first time in a while and checked my phone. It wasn’t for any particular reason—just routine. I wiped the screen with an alcohol pad before bed and figured I’d see if any messages had come in. Once the alcohol dried, I mechanically opened and closed each app to check. Then—
“…?”
I realized one of my Twitter follows had disappeared. I’d seen followers drop before, but never a follow. Wondering what was going on, I checked my follow list and found that an account that had been there just moments ago was completely gone. It wasn’t just any account—it was Seo Jia’s secret account.
Suspecting she might have blocked me, I searched for it, but the account didn’t even show up in searches. The same thing happened when I logged in with another account. Thoroughly confused by whatever change of heart had made her suddenly delete it, I sat up in bed and sent her a DM.
An instant reply. That meant she was awake and on her phone, not just woken by the notification. I wondered why someone who was still up scrolling at this hour would delete her account. Logically, she’d probably just gotten tired of it. With a bit more imagination, maybe she was scared of getting caught and blew it up herself. Or perhaps she thought I’d figured out her identity and was blackmailing her.
Unfortunately, it seemed I was the only man in the world shameless enough to blackmail her. There was also the manager who used to stalk her, but whether he was alive or dead was still unknown. If it wasn’t simple boredom but something else, she wasn’t the type to handle it so calmly, so I figured she wasn’t in any real danger.
When I sent a DM trying to stop her from doing something similar again, her reply came back sharp and prickly, just like the Seo Jia I knew. That put me a little at ease. Running a secret account while hiding her identity didn’t suit her at all. Without the jokes, I might have been more nervous than her. Once something became an issue, both Hinami and I would take the hit if anything blew up. At least she seemed to have blown off enough stress. Relieved, I was about to turn off my phone and sleep when another DM arrived with a link. I picked the phone back up and clicked it.
“…”
It was a close-up of just her upper body. A woman in clothes, gripping and squeezing her own chest hard enough to show through the fabric. Her face wasn’t in the photo, of course, and her hair was tied back so it wasn’t visible either. But I wasn’t stupid enough not to recognize who it was.
When I warned Seo Jia, who was posting even more provocative photos from a new account, she shot back that it wasn’t funny at all. She wasn’t wrong, so I had no rebuttal, but that didn’t mean what she was doing wasn’t dangerous. Right now she was only doing it to the point where her identity stayed hidden. Once someone got hooked on the thrill, no one knew how far they’d fall. Wondering how to make this reckless girl listen, I deleted the DM I’d been typing and got out of bed, heading upstairs.
“Seriously, this kid…”
I knew it wasn’t my place to say that. I loved the thrill too, and while I hadn’t uploaded anything, I’d done far worse countless times. But there was a huge difference between doing it in my own room and her doing it online. More than anything, the level of public attention now was completely different from back then. Did she even understand how scary the world was these days? She’d seemed to know it well enough when she told me not to take photos with Hinami. No matter how I looked at it, the stress had clearly driven her half-mad. I punched in the door code without ringing the bell and walked straight to the bedroom where she was staying.
“…Have you lost your mind?”
“I don’t know about me, but you looked like you had, so I came to check.”
She was wearing the same black T-shirt from the photo she’d sent earlier. Buried under the blanket, she glared at me as I barged in, her eyes full of disdain. I returned the same look, sat on the edge of her bed, and held out my hand.
“Give me your phone.”
“I don’t want to. You’re not my teacher.”
“…You’re really going to get caught.”
“You seemed pretty confident you wouldn’t get caught when you filmed stuff with my sister and Hinami, didn’t you?”
“…”
She spoke as if getting caught didn’t matter. If anything, she seemed amused by how flustered I was. While I briefly considered forcibly taking the phone from her hands as she kept firing back with that mocking tone, I knew better than anyone that it wouldn’t accomplish anything. Instead, I changed tactics, turned on the lights, and took a photo of her lying there before sending it via DM.
“If you’re going to keep posting, go ahead and upload this too.”
“…”
Her account still had zero followers and zero following. Posting a single photo of herself in bed on an account like that wouldn’t cause any real trouble, but uploading something with her face in it would cross a line she hadn’t crossed yet. She frowned slightly at my provocation, fiddled with her phone a few times, and uploaded a tweet.
“…You erased the face.”
“I don’t want to get caught either.”
“Of course.”
It was the photo with her face scribbled out using the white brush tool. Still barely toeing the line, I studied her and wondered how to stop this woman. All this rebellion was probably because of stress. Worst case, should I just force some alcohol down her throat and put her to sleep? But that would only work for a day or two—I couldn’t do it every day.
“More importantly, why are you even in my room, Kang Juhyuk? …This has nothing to do with you.”
“We’re tied together in articles. I’ve got plenty of unnecessary involvement.”
“Then why didn’t it matter before, when you did that to me outside?”
“…You provoked me first, didn’t you?”
“Ah, right. Of course. In your eyes, everything from one to ten is my fault.”
As I wondered how to control this woman who was still lying in bed and spitting out words, I oddly found myself understanding a little of what she must have felt toward me. Just as she felt like a bomb that could go off at any moment from my perspective, I must have been the same to her. Neither of us had any real intention of launching nukes, but we were both terrified the other might. Realizing that pushing harder in this dangerous relationship wouldn’t help, I stepped out of the room to catch my breath and checked the fridge. I was hoping for a can of beer, but found a bottle of wine tucked in the corner instead. I popped the cork, took a sip, and returned to the bedroom.
“…What’s this all of a sudden?”
“Let’s stop. If we keep fighting emotionally, we won’t get anywhere.”
“Emotionally? You’re the one who barged into my house and started picking a fight…”
“Shut up and drink.”
I handed her the bottle I’d opened and tried to numb my brain with the alcohol that hadn’t even kicked in yet. I pushed aside every annoying thing about her one by one, keeping only what was necessary to reshape my impression. I discarded the fact that she was rude, whiny, hated me, and had practically ruined my shoulder. Instead, I focused on the fact that she was Haeun’s sister, Hinami’s friend, and someone tied to me by false rumors. After suppressing as much resentment as possible, I spoke to her in a voice slightly tinged with the smell of alcohol.
“I didn’t come here to pick a fight with you. I’m not doing this because I’m worried about you. I’m doing it for my own sake.”
“How honest.”
“If we get caught, you and I are both screwed. Hinami too. You knew that, which is why you used to give me hell about not filming. Remember?”
“…If you know that so well, why the sudden change of heart now?”
“Back then I had nothing to lose. Now I have a lot. Do I need to explain more?”
“For someone with so much to lose, you sure did something similar at the pension.”
“That was because you and Hinami were fighting like crazy and I had to take sides.”
“Well, I guess. You’re on Hinami’s side, not mine.”
As I kept the conversation as neutral as possible, Seo Jia finally crawled out from under the blanket and sat up. She took a sip of the wine I’d given her and let out a long breath. Then, with the same slightly tipsy scent as me, she looked me straight in the eye and spoke flatly.
“But I don’t have much to lose either. …You took my sister, and you took my friend too.”
“What?”
“Honestly, I don’t even like my fans that much… and I’ve earned enough money. It wouldn’t matter if I caused a scandal and retired. That thought crossed my mind too. …It’s annoying when people talk about me like that.”
“…”
Her words sounded like disillusionment not just with me, but with people in general. Looking like she was chewing on something far more bitter than the lukewarm wine, she gulped down more alcohol and handed the bottle back.
“Haa. …And isn’t this hilarious? The guy who stripped me, touched me, made me suck his dick, took photos, and did all kinds of crazy things outside is now lecturing me because one article came out.”
“…”
“So much to lose, my ass. You’ve got plenty of excuses. …You’re just scared too. Scared of people cursing at you.”
She looked at me with a mocking gaze and sneered. After taking another long drink from the bottle she’d returned, she flopped back onto the pillow and stretched her arms toward the ceiling.
“Why are you scared of getting cursed at when you do things that deserve it? …Are you an idiot?”
“…What am I scared of?”
“You’re scared of the whole world branding you as ‘the guy who touched Seo Jia.’ You liked it when you were touching me, but now that you’re thinking about the backlash, you’re scared?”
“I’ve never been scared of something like that.”
“Liar. …If you’re not scared, why are you acting like an adult now?”
She brought her outstretched hand to her cheek, gently rubbing her flushed face a few times. Then she extended her now-warm hand toward me, raised her middle finger, and mocked me as a coward with a full, unrestrained laugh.
“Get out of my room right now. …It’s not like you’re interested in me anyway.”
“…”
“You’re only interested in my name, my job, and my body. Pretending to worry about me now is disgusting… so get out.”
After she cursed me out so crudely while smiling, I chugged the wine in my hand. With my head slightly spinning from the alcohol, I stood up and locked the door.
“Why do you think I’m not interested in you?”
“Because you hate me so much. …I get it. I basically ruined your shoulder.”
After that, I set the half-empty bottle on the floor and climbed on top of her as she stared at me. I placed my hands around her slender neck.
“…”
Feeling her breath quicken slightly, Seo Jia tilted her face further toward me and—ptoo. She spat, thick with the scent of alcohol. It didn’t go far, landing on her own T-shirt instead.