Reversal (12)
I'm so goddamn tired I could drop dead. If I could split myself in half—one version to dump Seo Jia back at her place, the other to go soothe Hinami—how much easier would life be? Just juggling Haeun and Hinami at the same time already drains me dry sometimes, and now Jia's pulling her weird little stunts on top of it. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Logically, there's no way she's doing this because she likes me. Even a horny bastard like me can tell that much. This is all just her using me as a tool to get back at Hinami and blow up whatever we have going on. I'm not desperate enough to play along knowing that.
"Get out. I'm parking the car and heading in."
"…."
I kicked Jia out of the car while she sat there with her mouth shut and legs swinging, then tried to clear my head as I parked. Convincing Hinami was easy enough, but getting those two to make up was a whole different beast. Nothing's harder than forcing two friends with a real grudge to patch things up.
Of course, it wasn't like I had to. Whether they fought or not didn't really matter to me. Still, it would be a headache for Hinami the idol, so I figured I'd help as much as I could—as her fan.
I let out a long sigh, parked, and followed Jia's retreating back into the pension. The moment I stepped inside, Hinami—who'd been sitting calmly at the table glaring at Jia—swallowed hard when she saw me and stood up. She walked straight over, patted my thighs a couple times, rose on her tiptoes to kiss my collarbone, then naturally linked her arm through mine.
"I'll call you a taxi or whatever. Leave Oppa alone and get lost."
"…."
Their relationship had completely shattered. If a reporter saw this, they wouldn't bother with "discord" rumors. Something like a love triangle scandal or affair would fit much better.
For Jia, who hated my guts, this had to be humiliating. But what could she do now? She was the one who called me out in the middle of the night. She was the one who provoked me over the phone. The second she tried to mock Hinami by stroking my thigh, she lost any right to make excuses—even if she had a hundred mouths.
"Look, just don't fight too much. I have to stop by the house later anyway…"
"It's fine, Oppa. I already called Unnie. She said we can take the whole day off."
When I tried to smooth things over, Hinami cut me off and declared the matter settled. Jia trembled as she watched her, then let out a heavy sigh and headed for the door. I stood there uselessly between the wreckage of their relationship, watching Jia's back as she tried to escape.
"Hey."
"…What."
I didn't grab her wrist. Just stopped her with my voice.
"Don't go wandering around barefoot. Lie down and cool your head. I need to talk to Hinami."
"Oppa."
"Both of you, shut up."
Ignoring Jia's furious sigh as she stomped upstairs, I shot Hinami a sharp look when she tried to cling and shake me. I pried her arms off, dropped into a chair, leaned back, and stared at the ceiling.
"…Stop fighting already."
"But she was doing all that stuff to Oppa…"
"What do you expect from a kid who's barely twenty? She's even a year younger than you. Brats act out sometimes."
"…."
Technically nineteen. A girl who'd only been an adult for a hot minute. When someone spends their entire short life being catered to because of their face and body, it's no surprise their personality gets twisted. Hinami, who's about the same age, is weird too—she's willing to hand over her liver and gallbladder to a guy like me.
"I brought her here because you said you wanted to talk to her, not so you two could fight. When you two go at it, I'm the one who gets exhausted."
"Even if Jia keeps trying to screw Oppa over?"
"Well… I've pulled some shit on her too. Call it even."
Anyone who looked that sleazy and still picked a fight with her own sister had to be trash. And when that same trash went after the sister years later, of course he was still trash. Now he was even eyeing my friend. At this point, it wasn't paranoia anymore. It was self-defense.
In Jia's head, Kang Juhyuk was a terrifying rapist who could manipulate people's hearts with ease. Would anyone feel guilty about tripping a thief running off with a bag, or punching someone who deserved it? Jia was the same. No matter how far she crossed the line with me, she didn't see it as wrong. Just like how she didn't feel any guilt—in fact, she enjoyed it—when I half-blackmailed and raped her, or when I tricked and violently took Haeun.
"That's not like you, Oppa. …You hate Jia the most, don't you?"
"Hating her is one thing. Hating that she hates me is another. What else is there to do?"
"Then if you want, I can punish her for you…"
"She's not like Haeun. …And I'm not the same as back then either."
But my head had grown too big to simply ruin her. When I first met Haeun, I was a washed-up ex-baseball player with no future, just a pile of dry wood ready to ignite at the slightest spark of revenge. Now I was just a store owner. I had people who followed me and needed their salaries paid. I had to keep my word to the senior I'd borrowed money from. I had to take responsibility for the women I'd burned.
If I hadn't met you in the middle of all that, I wouldn't have changed this much. Without you, Haeun wouldn't have clung to me so desperately, and I wouldn't have had the chance to feel anything for her. I had too much to lose now to act however I wanted.
"…So what are you going to do? Just leave Jia like this?"
"Who knows? …If she stays quiet, I don't plan on touching her. If you, me, and Haeun don't do anything, she probably won't pull any more stunts either."
"…"
"…But Haeun aside, you can't do that, can you? You have to see her at work every day."
Even with everything to lose, you were the only one who could still act on impulse. A moth that flew straight into the flame with nothing—no trust, nothing—just because you'd seduced a woman with a nice body and big tits. Unless someone was as crazy as you, they wouldn't risk their downfall for pleasure. Of course, back then you were drawn to me because I used to be the same kind of person. But you'd given me too much for me to go back to the version of myself you liked.
"So for now, just go wash up… Cool your head and then we'll figure it out. Whether we send her home in a taxi or take her with us when we leave. Got it?"
"…Yes."
"Wash up and go play in the pool. Stressing over stupid stuff will only ruin your skin."
"Okay…"
The more I looked at Hinami's sulky, nodding face—clearly unsatisfied with my lukewarm response—the more my conscience, which had been aching lately from the fear that I'd eventually lose her, kept stabbing at me.
…No one else could satisfy her the way I did. No future thrill would ever compare to what she'd felt with me.
"I'll go wash up first. …Come slowly, Oppa."
"Yeah."
While I stood there wondering how to untangle this mess, I watched her walk away… then suddenly stood up and grabbed her wrist.
"Eh, why…?"
"…Want to wait for me in the pool wearing the eye mask?"
No plan. No scheme. Just following my instincts.
"……"
She nodded silently. For the first time today, she smiled as I stroked her hair.
"Wear the earplugs too. You can find them in my bag."
"…Okay."
I sent her off to the bathroom, all puffed up with anticipation, her heart probably racing. Once the door closed, I trudged upstairs to find the troublesome woman sprawled on the bed.
"…What."
"Come wash up. You don't have to dry your hair. We're going in the pool here."
"What are you planning now…"
"You look like you need to blow off some steam. Figured I'd help."
I didn't know how to untangle knots. All I was good at was cutting them clean through with scissors. Whether that annoying woman would like it or not didn't really matter. …Even if she hated it, she wouldn't hate it as much as she hated me.
"I don't want to hear that from you, and I don't have a swimsuit."
"Then come naked, or borrow one. You think I'd only bring one of your friend's swimsuits?"
"…It won't fit."
"Then it'll look even sluttier. Good. Just shut up and come. No more arguing."
Even though she hated me so much, she couldn't even dream of refusing. Watching her glare at me with that venomous expression as she trudged toward the bathroom attached to the second floor, she reminded me of Haeun back when she worked at the agency. For some reason, I missed those days.
…If I hadn't picked a fight with Haeun back then, I wouldn't be in this pension right now. I'd probably just be meeting some tall, well-made-up noona and rolling around in a motel. The life I'd once wanted so badly now looked pathetically small.
In the end, the reason I'd clawed my way up to the point where I had things to lose was because I'd left everything to instinct. So let's leave this headache of a fight to instinct too. A handful to my instincts… and a handful to yours.