Reversal (6)
They cleared the table without a word. They finished off the rest of the beer and shoved the leftover snacks into the fridge. Once everything looked clean on the surface, they washed up in silence and climbed into their separate beds. Even though they were lying in the same room on different beds, the atmosphere of completely ignoring each other felt less awkward than it should have—almost comforting.
…Anyway, once I fall asleep first, she’ll head downstairs. Breathing softly, I tried to forget everything and drift off. My overheated head had never produced a single plan that actually worked out. But because I’d slept too long in the car, sleep wouldn’t come. My mind only grew colder. I should’ve said this, I should’ve snapped back like that. The words that only occurred to me now kept surfacing, pushing me further from sleep. Of course, even if I’d countered him with perfect logic, nothing would have changed. Nothing except maybe feeling a little lighter inside.
Hinami and my sister both liked him. I hated him. He hated me. None of it would shift. I rolled toward the wall, lying on my side, and opened my phone in the pitch-black room where sleep refused to come. The screen had already switched to sleep mode, so I hadn’t noticed the notification. It was the same as when he’d called me out of the house—just one DM telling me to come down.
Should I pretend I didn’t see it? Would he let it slide if I said I hadn’t noticed? I stared blankly at the message, then felt a strange doubt about why he was summoning me at this hour. I sat up in bed. …Wasn’t he supposed to leave me alone? Hinami was going to come down soon and they’d spend the whole night tangled together. I couldn’t figure out what he wanted, so I glanced at the other bed where Hinami was breathing softly.
“….”
It was too dark to see clearly, but she was either asleep or pretending to be. At least she wasn’t giving any sign she was awake. I left her there, slipped out of the room, and went downstairs. Normally I would’ve ignored him completely, but here in this pension it was fine. Kang Juhyuk had no reason to pounce on me. Even if he tried, Hinami would hear if I screamed. Of course, I didn’t harbor any soft hope that she would stop him or take my side. If he touched me while leaving her alone, even Hinami would be disappointed. I trusted that Kang Juhyuk, who cared about her that much, wouldn’t take that risk.
…And honestly, I hoped she would be disappointed. It was time she realized the man she liked wasn’t all that great. Keeping my composure, I descended the stairs, found the door with light leaking out, and knocked twice. Rustling sounds came from inside, then the door he’d been leaning against slid open. Light spilled into the dark hallway, revealing him.
He wasn’t completely naked, but he was shirtless. It didn’t surprise me. I already knew what his body looked like, and he still had his pants on. “Come in.”
“….”
Following his gesture, I stepped into the brighter room. It was another bedroom with two beds, just like upstairs. The rumpled blankets marked where Kang Juhyuk had been lying, so I sat on the other bed and stared at him in silence.
“…What did you two talk about?”
“Who knows.”
“Why are you fighting? You’re friends.”
When I just kept staring without answering, Kang Juhyuk sat on the opposite bed facing me and spoke in a scolding tone. The fact that this man was lecturing me after everything that had happened was so absurd that I answered curtly, which only made him switch to a coaxing voice that pissed me off even more. …I shouldn’t get worked up over something so ordinary. It was such a common tactic.
“Well, if you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to. …Don’t fight with each other because of me.”
“Ha….”
But that line was something I couldn’t just let pass. Hinami and I weren’t having some petty romantic squabble. A hollow laugh slipped out before I could swallow it, yet he continued without seeming to notice my reaction.
“I don’t really have any bad feelings toward you. Well, honestly I do. …If you don’t cause trouble, I won’t touch you either.”
“That’s a joke, right?”
“Why would it be a joke? …Why would I bother messing with you? I already have enough. I don’t need you too.”
“…If I only listened to you, I’d think I was the one clinging to you.”
“That’s not wrong. You hate me more than I hate you.”
After forcing his dick into my mouth and suddenly calling me out to drink and sexually harass me, he now spoke like he understood everything. The sheer audacity made it impossible to hold back my sarcasm. He seemed to realize his own words were ridiculous, because even when I openly mocked him he didn’t get angry. He just smirked and kept talking.
“So why did you call me down? It wasn’t just to say that.”
“Just because. I don’t care if you hate me or not, but I do care if you hate Hinami. I want her to finish her contract without any incidents.”
“And the person who wants that is the one who—”
“Why not? Idols can’t date? Among the idols around you, aren’t there more who have boyfriends than don’t?”
In reality, aside from me, every member of our group had a boyfriend. In our agency, the only ones truly without partners were the new trainees or people who had just broken up. But hearing it from the mouth of the trash who was two-timing Hinami while taking all kinds of lewd photos with her made it impossible to nod along. …Anyway, you’re not even a Hinami fan. You just have a fetish for the word “idol.” A perverted bastard who gets off on mocking fans while fucking idols…
“Of course you won’t believe me even if I say this. I know you’ll think I’m only saying it because Hinami being an idol turns me on more. Well, honestly, that feeling isn’t completely absent either. I won’t bother denying it.”
“….”
“…Still, the part about wanting her to stay out of trouble is real. I don’t like scandals either. I don’t want her struggling because of some rumor about internal conflict. You might not believe it, but I am a fan.”
“That’s funny. You barely knew her and now you’re a fan.”
“Why not? You can become a fan after meeting someone. If I’d met you first, maybe I would’ve become your fan instead.”
But he read my thoughts exactly and continued in a flat tone, ending with a spine-chilling remark that left my chest tight. …The thought of this man being my fan was repulsive even in imagination. A hulking 190-centimeter guy showing up meekly at a fansign with an album, shyly asking for an autograph… It suited him far less than the sweaty pigs who usually did it. At least he wouldn’t smell as bad.
“Anyway, I get that you’re annoyed because of me. Just don’t take it out on Hinami. You two are the top two in popularity. If you fight, the group will obviously fall apart, right?”
“…I agree, but I don’t want to hear it from you.”
“I don’t want to say this to you either. But there’s no one else who can say it.”
“You could just tell Hinami directly. Why are you saying it to me, of all people?”
“Do you think she’d listen if I told her?”
“Then do you think I’d listen to you?”
“You will. …You came all the way here because you listen well.”
But the tall, muscular, odorless yet personality-in-the-gutter Hinami sasaeng fan simply rubbed his left shoulder with an insolent expression, then suddenly stood up and looked down at me. The memory from earlier flashed through my mind and I started to rise too, but instinctively realized how much taller he was and sat back down, quietly looking up at him. …He didn’t seem like he was trying to threaten me. It was still okay.
“You might not know this, but she doesn’t listen to me. The fact that she doesn’t listen is exactly why I like her. She’s like a kid. It’s refreshing not knowing which way she’ll bounce.”
“….”
“Even when I tell her it’s dangerous to come every weekend, she keeps showing up. She asks if I’ll be able to follow her schedule. She begs me to sneak her into the waiting room so I can fuck her. Do you think I hated that? I just didn’t do it because I didn’t want her name in the news. If I hated you more than I liked Hinami, I would’ve gone along with it. If a scandal broke, you’d be ruined too. You have nothing to lose, right?”
“…What are you trying to say?”
“Do you know why I only hold your weakness over you instead of using it right away, even though you helped destroy my shoulder? …It’s all because of Haeun and Hinami. If they weren’t connected to you, I could’ve ruined you a long time ago. But since you’re Haeun’s sister and Hinami’s friend, I let it slide.”
It wasn’t a threat. It was a warning. …It would probably be fine. It would be okay. “…But if you hate Hinami, and you hate your sister too, then there’s no reason to keep letting it slide. Why should I keep being polite to the bitch who ruined my life?”
“…Well, I guess you’re scared of getting reported. You too.”
“Who’s more scared—me getting reported, or you doing the reporting? …No matter how I think about it, you seem more scared.”
“….”
…Anytime. Until now I’d only held back because of other people. But if I wanted, I could put this kind of man in prison whenever I felt like it. “…Why are you shaking like that again? Cold?”
“Don’t come near me…! Don’t touch me….”
“I’m not even close. …You’re so young, yet so scared of everything.”
I could put him in prison. …He’d serve at least five years. By then I could’ve ended my idol career and lived safely somewhere with good security. I could meet a reliable, kind man unlike this bastard and ask him to protect me. Even if, even if this man somehow got out and tried to take revenge… Surely there would be someone who could protect me… “…I told you not to tremble like that.”
“Hik….”
…Could they protect me? No matter what kind of man I met, if Kang Juhyuk relentlessly targeted my weaknesses when we were alone, would I really be safe? No matter how good the man was, could he win? If this… grotesque body was also filled with venom… …Could I even endure it?
“Ah, …what? You.”
“…Go back inside. I still have things to say to Hinami. Ah, if you want to watch, you can stay beside us.”
To this grotesque man who had turned my only friend into his possession and turned my only sister into his slave… Could I really escape? “Jia. …Why are you here?”
“…He called me. That man did.”
“Ah, really? Then it can’t be helped. I came because Oppa called me too.”
…Of course. I thought she would be angry at me. I thought she would be disappointed in Kang Juhyuk. But even Hinami… “…I don’t get jealous of you like Unni does. If you say you want to make up, I won’t refuse. …If you just say sorry once.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“Why are you saying that to me? You didn’t do anything wrong to me. …We just fought a little. I’m sorry too. For getting angry earlier.”
Her common sense had been so thoroughly broken that she could say things like this. …If I ever built a family in the future, he would destroy it. If I lived alone in peace, it would be much easier for him to ruin just me. “Go back inside. I need to talk to Hinami.”
“….”
“…If you’re not going in, just sit there quietly. If you’re cold, cover yourself with the blanket.”
…How would he ruin me? Exactly how had he broken me? “….”
My friend. With that expression on her face. Twisting her whole body… …sitting on his bed. I wasn’t curious, but my feet wouldn’t move. At least I hoped it wouldn’t be as cruel as my terrible imagination.