Reversal (4)
The pension looked eerie from the outside. But the interior was nothing like its gloomy exterior—clean, comfortable, and surprisingly welcoming. It was the kind of secluded villa where, if I had come alone, I could have kicked back and relaxed for days. There was just one problem.
“I bought mostly stuff that won’t make you gain weight, so eat without worrying.”
“Yep, Oppa.”
Even if it had just been Hinami and me, it would have felt awkward. The fact that that man had returned on top of it made everything worse. No matter how I looked at it, he hadn’t brought us here to rest. It was clearly an excuse to drag me along while he enjoyed a secret rendezvous with Hinami.
His tastes were disgustingly predictable. Was he seriously making me sit here and watch him fool around with my friend?
“What are you doing? Drink. I have to drive tomorrow, so I can’t have any.”
“...”
That pissed me off. I snatched the beer can sitting right in front of me, popped the tab, and chugged it down. With Hinami here, that man would probably go after her instead of me anyway. And if he planned to touch me regardless, it was obvious he wouldn’t care whether I was drunk or sober.
“You two drink, clean up afterward, and get some rest. I’m sleepy, so I’ll crash first.”
“...Yes?”
“What do you mean, ‘yes’? I told you I have to drive tomorrow. I need to wake up and head home.”
But Kang Juhyuk casually shattered that perfectly reasonable assumption by announcing he would drive back home the morning after next as soon as he got up.
...There was no way that man would do something like that. The Kang Juhyuk I knew would never drop two women like Hinami and me off in a private space like this and leave quietly.
“Oh, I’ll drive you back early the morning after tomorrow, so don’t worry. I already heard about your schedules from Hinami.”
“We don’t really have much of a schedule these days..., hehe. Aren’t you the one who’s busier, Oppa?”
“...If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be this busy.”
Just listening to the two of them talk made it obvious he wasn’t leaving. Any other man would have been the same, and even if I had been in Kang Juhyuk’s position, I wouldn’t have walked away. He had a woman who couldn’t rebel because of the dog collar around her neck and another who begged to have one fastened on her. He could enjoy them both all day.
And he was going to pass that up? If he were the kind of person who would, he never would have touched me in the first place.
“Anyway, eat well, talk as much as you want, and rest. I’m going to bed.”
Yet Kang Juhyuk hid those dark intentions perfectly. He even yawned as he left the room without a shred of hesitation.
...What kind of trap was he trying to set for me this time? He couldn’t possibly believe I wouldn’t know he and Hinami would have sex after I fell asleep.
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out what Kang Juhyuk was planning. I took another swig of beer and picked up one of the tofu snacks on the table.
“...He’s gone, Oppa.”
While I was still slightly worried about how fattening the snack tasted, Hinami, who had also taken a sip of beer, let out a heavy sigh. She looked across the table at me and muttered quietly.
She had avoided mentioning it while we were alone, but now that the words were out, I couldn’t find anything to say. All I could do was keep picking at the snacks.
“Haah. I thought he was going to jump us. What a shame.”
“...Hey.”
“What? We’re sex friends, so I can still hope for it, can’t I?”
“Hinami.”
Once she started talking like that so openly, I couldn’t just sit there and listen. If they were simply lovers, I might have understood. Even if they really were just sex friends, I could have barely looked the other way. But the other party was my sister’s boyfriend—the same rapist who had tried to rape me. I couldn’t openly acknowledge it.
I knew nothing I said would get through to her. Still, I had to make it clear that I hated it, if only so I wouldn’t get dragged into their mess.
“Ah, right. You hate Oppa, Jia. Sorry. I guess I was only thinking about myself.”
“...”
“But I like him. We couldn’t have sex last week because Unnie got angry, and this week we were both busy. It’s hard for me too, you know.”
Yet Hinami poured out how much she liked Kang Juhyuk with several times more intensity than my display of dislike, whining to me about it.
Even I couldn’t ask why she was telling me all this. I was the only friend she had to confide in. It had been the same for me once.
“That’s why I wanted the three of us—you, Haeun Unnie, and Oppa—to come here and have fun together. But I had to cancel because of someone.”
“What?”
“There’s this idol who’s slacking off and about to quit. It bothered me, so I gave up my precious weekend to bring you here. ...You know what I mean?”
The only person who had noticed I was sick of everything.
“...I don’t want to hear that from you.”
“Ack, of course I’ve thought the same before. So I don’t have the right to say it, but... Jia, you’ve always been so professional. You’re different from someone sloppy like me.”
“You used to work hard too.”
“That wasn’t working hard. That was flailing desperately to survive. If I failed, I’d have to go back to Japan. At best I’d be a gravure model. At worst I’d have to do AV.”
Her face showed no sign of drunkenness as she took another sip of beer. This time she didn’t touch the snacks, speaking clearly and precisely. The serious expression looked completely unlike Hinami, which felt awkward, but the earnest attitude reminded me of the Hinami from our trainee days, which felt familiar. That only made the words coming from my friend’s mouth even more infuriating.
“...Do you think you’re any different from an AV actress right now?”
“Wow, that’s harsh...”
“You sent me those dirty pictures. You openly walked into a man’s house right in front of me. This time you lured me all the way to a pension. You even filmed a dirty video, didn’t you? What exactly is the difference?”
“...I only sleep with one person.”
“And how long do you think that’ll last?”
Whether it was his taste, his sex drive, or stress. How long could an obsession with one man possibly last once someone had completely lost themselves to it? I wasn’t saying it simply because I hated or resented Kang Juhyuk. Normal love barely lasted two or three years. How long could a relationship built on dopamine-drenched pleasure survive? She knew better than anyone how much she had sacrificed for it.
“...How long it lasts is for me to decide, Jia. Not you.”
“Yeah, it’s not for me to decide. It’s for Kang Juhyuk to decide.”
“Hey.”
“Do you know why I’ve lost all motivation to practice and just go through the motions? Because if that man slips up even once, everything collapses. It all feels pointless. You’re going to stand on the scaffold and hear every insult imaginable from people before you retire, and our group will fall apart without you. Why should I bother working hard?”
“...”
It was infuriating how Hinami could create a situation where one outsider’s single gesture could destroy everything we had built and then lecture me about it.
If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even be here. If you hadn’t fooled around with Kang Juhyuk, I wouldn’t have been manipulated by him, wouldn’t have had my weaknesses dug up, and wouldn’t be stuck in a position where I had to come running whenever he called.
“If you at least had your head on straight, maybe. But you know exactly what kind of man he is, don’t you? From the way you openly told him to bring me here, it seems you heard what he did to me. Knowing all that and still forcing me and that man into the same space—don’t you think that’s shameless?”
“Jia...”
“Shut up. Do you have any idea how annoyed I’ve been because of you? I told you not to smoke, but you kept doing it. I told you not to drink, but you drank anyway. You always bragged about how you don’t gain weight no matter what you eat. Even when you half-ass practice, you still dance way better than me.”
“Seo Ye-eun.”
“And someone like you is always whining about not wanting to be an idol, but the second you meet one guy you get all excited and it’s disgusting how you go on about the fans. You don’t even like your fans, do you? To you, fans are nothing but something to mock while you’re having sex with Kang Juhyuk, right?”
I never thought I would spill the feelings I had kept buried in my chest for years right to her face. The moment I said it, there would be no taking it back. We could never return to the way things were.
But the second that annoying, disobedient bitch tried to lecture me first, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. If it had been the team leader, the higher-ups, the stylist, or the trainers who actually helped me, maybe. Even that crazy stalker of a former manager who worshipped me like a god might have let it go in one ear and out the other. But I didn’t want to hear it from her of all people. Because ninety percent of why I had ended up like this was because of her.
“...Ye-eun.”
“Be quiet. Don’t call me by my real name. Why are you acting so close?”
“...”
After I had spewed out that sticky, disgusting lump of emotions, Hinami—who had been staring at me with a serious expression—blinked in visible shock. She used my real name, something she hadn’t done since our trainee days.
She shot up from her seat, chugged the rest of her beer, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and let out a long sigh that reeked of alcohol.
“...Do you think I wasn’t annoyed with you too?”
“...”
Pop. Pop. One by one, she undid the buttons of her white pajamas from the top down.
“You’re so fucking tall. You sing so well. Your chest is way bigger than mine. You don’t even have to act cute and the female fans still scream and adore you. You think I didn’t hate you?”
Revealing the breasts hidden beneath her cute bra, she trudged over until she stood right beside me.
“...But because you, Jia, told me to work hard, I’ve been trying my best somehow. If it weren’t for Oppa, I would have died a long time ago, you know? You stopped me from smoking. You stopped me from drinking. You even nagged me just for eating candy.”
“...”
“You kept me trapped in that shitty place and now you’re trying to run away first? If that’s how it is, you should have just let us quit together from the beginning.”
With that small frame, she looked down at me with hateful eyes.