Taming (2)
Nothing in my life had really changed since that day. The manager had only just started being investigated and wasn’t locked up anywhere. If anything, I was the one who couldn’t go outside. The only time I was allowed to set foot out was once a day, and that was just to go to the gym with Hinami in the early morning. Even the agency director had suggested it might be better if someone stayed with me for a week or two, so I had no choice in the matter. Of course, the director was a reasonable man, so he never would have imagined that his future “brother-in-law” was already fooling around with his future sister-in-law’s friend and was now trying to lay hands on his girlfriend’s younger sister as well. That was why, aside from him and the manager, I didn’t feel like blaming anyone. I didn’t even want to anymore.
“Ah, my head…”
“Oppa, you can’t drive while drowsy, okay? If we get hurt, even selling your body won’t be enough to pay us back.”
“I’m not sleepy, just tired.”
“…Then you should’ve gone easier last night.”
“You’re the one who seduced me.”
“Ehehe…”
Wearing a mask pulled low and a hat pressed down, Hinami chattered away from the passenger seat. I sat alone in the back, fiddling with my phone. I opened the now-clean Twitter feed out of habit and let out a long sigh of relief that the worst-case scenario hadn’t happened. After being dragged to the police once, the manager had apparently regained some sense of reality. He’d deleted the Twitter account where he used to post photos of me and stopped contacting me or loitering outside. Of course, I had also deleted all the photos he’d uploaded to my account, but fortunately he hadn’t tried to cause me any real harm. …He’d probably downloaded everything anyway, and the videos on Kang Juhyuk’s phone were stored separately, so he didn’t care.
Either way, the public image of “me” remained exactly the same as before—untouched idol Seo Jia. Hinami was the same.
“We’re here. Get out.”
“Huh? Already? I wanted to talk with you a little longer, oppa.”
“If you wanted that, you shouldn’t have sat in the passenger seat.”
“Okay, I’ll sit in the back next time. Let’s go, Jia.”
“…Yeah.”
Idols whose flaws no one had noticed. But if you looked closely, Hinami and I were covered in wounds, absurdly being ferried to our destination in an ordinary gym owner’s car. Even as we got out together and headed up to the gym, I couldn’t shake the discomfort that spread from that irony and ended up frowning for no reason.
But the one who had inflicted those wounds… didn’t follow us. Even though it wasn’t time for him to start work yet, he could have easily come to watch. As if what he had done to me that day had been a lie, as if the promises he made that day had been sincere, Kang Juhyuk truly gave me neither attention nor pressure. I didn’t think for a second that it was because he was honest or upright. There was only one reason I could guess.
…Because my sister had quit her part-time job.
I hadn’t asked directly, so I couldn’t know exactly why she quit, but after seeing multiple links on her YouTube channel, I had a pretty good idea. Instagram, Twitter, and other sites. Photos of her wearing the same outfits from her previous videos, newly taken and uploaded in bulk. A few everyday photos as well. Naturally, there wasn’t a single trace of Kang Juhyuk. The accounts were newly created, so they didn’t have many followers yet, but the growth rate was quite fast. Not as much as me, but enough that she might be more popular than a washed-up idol. I felt a twinge of fear wondering how he planned to use my sister, even at the risk of damaging his own gym’s reputation. But there was nothing I could do about it. …After all, my sister wouldn’t listen to a word I said. If it was Kang Juhyuk telling her, she’d crawl on all fours like a dog if he asked.
**
“…Are you really okay with this?”
“I told you I am. …You’re the one who started it in the first place. YouTube or whatever.”
“I know, but…”
“Why are you acting like this now? Juhyuk told you from the beginning to sell your body with those tits. …So that’s what I’m doing. It’s not like I’m actually walking around naked. I’m just wearing the same clothes I wore while filming videos.”
“…”
Wearing skin-tight tights and a sky-blue wig, I posed in front of the camera. Instead of the bow that was still being delivered, I held a guitar. Watching Juhyuk hesitate even though it didn’t suit him, I smiled a smile that would never be shown to the public and tried to look as beautiful as possible for the lens.
“I’ve already taken all the thumbnail and upload photos.”
“Hmm… So, shall we do it?”
“Stop talking nonsense and play the guitar first.”
“It was a joke, a joke.”
After taking photos to upload everywhere, I picked up the guitar lying around and sat on the bed. I wasn’t very good at it, but it was far more familiar in my hands than before I met him. Still, I often wondered if it even mattered. In reality, none of the people looking for me cared about the guitar. Even the advertising offers that came in before I started the YouTube Twitter or Instagram were mostly requests for cosplayers once it was confirmed I was a Korean living in Korea.
“…”
While idly strumming the useless guitar strings, I thought again about the offer I had accepted a few days ago. It was for a game event wearing the outfit I had on now. It was surprising that someone whose face I hadn’t even revealed had invited me, but originally I hadn’t planned to accept. Just like Juhyuk said, I thought it would be better to open a new, cleaner YouTube channel and take more wholesome ads. But the reason I felt like accepting now was… because I had figured out Juhyuk’s true intentions. Why he was so desperate to grow my YouTube channel. …Why he was so obsessed with Hinami, who had small breasts. And now why he was trying to lay hands on Yeeun as well.
“…Okay. Done. We finished in one take today.”
“The song was easy.”
He got incredibly excited when he felt superior to others. When he felt that he was the only one who could touch a woman no one else could reach. He was the same when teaching me workouts at the gym. The same when taking photos or videos during sex. Even just walking down the street and having people look at me. I never understood why a man who liked tall women was so horny for Hinami, but once I understood Juhyuk’s true nature, I finally realized how lacking I was. There was a desire he had that someone like me, working part-time at a gym and doing YouTube on the side, could never satisfy. By going out, meeting more people, and having them want me more and more, he would get even more excited. I realized that. So instead of the part-time job helping Juhyuk, I decided to take the path of becoming a little more famous. Not a woman who hid her face and only sold her body, but someone whose name anyone could recognize when searched. A woman everyone wanted to touch.
“Anyway, we still have plenty of time… Want to do it?”
“Hey, those clothes… You have to wear them outside next week, remember?”
“Isn’t that better? …Leaving your scent on clothes that other people will stare at.”
“…If I’m going to fuck you, I’ll have to tear the tights. No. Those are really expensive.”
“Then how about grabbing my horns and doing it in my mouth? …That won’t ruin the clothes.”
“Forget it. And those horns are attached to the wig, so they might come off if you’re not careful.”
Looking at Juhyuk with veins bulging visibly on his forehead, I smiled faintly and lay on the bed, watching him transfer the video to the computer. He could touch me if he wanted, but the fact that he was holding back because he had to go to work later was oddly cute. …Hmm, if I earned a little more money, maybe Juhyuk wouldn’t need to go to the gym anymore? The YouTube revenue was already pretty good, and if I revealed my face and got even more famous, taking ads and events, it might be possible. The gym would run fine without us anyway. The male members I’d lose by quitting could easily be replaced by putting Hinami up as the face of the place. …That pissed me off a little, but since the money was going into our account, I could overlook it.
“You’re coming home early after work, right?”
“If the person who was getting PT runs away, I’ll finish up and come right back.”
“…Why did they run away?”
“Who knows? Maybe I pushed them too hard.”
“Really?”
Of course, if some woman at the gym openly flirted with Juhyuk like that, I’d have to punish her. Ah, but punishment didn’t mean doing anything scary. …It was just clinging to him and making it obvious that this man liked me. And since she was an idol, I trusted she wouldn’t cross the line in public. If I had to point out something truly dangerous… it would be Yeeun. Juhyuk cherished Hinami in his own way and tried to avoid scandals, but he disliked Yeeun. He wouldn’t care whether she got hurt or not.
“Anyway, prepare well for the event next week. As for your face… Do you want to reveal it in advance, or pretend it was revealed naturally at the event?”
“Which do you think is better?”
“If you reveal it early, we can edit it nicely. If it’s revealed naturally at the event, it’ll draw more attention, but depending on who takes the photos, you might look a bit bloated.”
“…Did I gain weight?”
“No.”
“Will I look ugly without makeup and editing?”
“No.”
“…Then I’ll pretend it was revealed naturally at the event. Ah, maybe I can reveal my eyes on Instagram beforehand?”
“…Let’s do that, then.”
In the end, the reason I wanted to reveal my identity to the public was… honestly because I was afraid of my sister. Because my sister could satisfy the desire that neither I nor Hinami could. The nature of his that he couldn’t act on because he had affection for me would come out without hesitation in front of her. I didn’t want to see Juhyuk getting horny for my sister more than for me. I leaned forward and looked at my face reflected in the turned-off camera lens. …I didn’t think he would be satisfied until he let it all out. After the built-up anger cooled down, in the end, he would choose me.