Promise
The quiet pension with no one else around. Until a moment ago, there had been the sizzling sound of meat grilling, but now the only sound was the wind. Lying on the bed, I count the specks of dust stuck to the ceiling while waiting endlessly. …I have to go back to work starting tomorrow. What a hassle. If it were up to me, I’d stay home the whole time. But they say sales will drop if I don’t show up…. Maybe I should grow the YouTube channel more and make it work. So both of us can live comfortably like before….
“I’m back.”
While I was lost in those unproductive thoughts, he returned. Rustle, rustle. Holding a plastic bag in his hand.
“What? You said you were going to sleep.”
“…Where’s the ice cream?”
“Here.”
“It didn’t melt.”
“I bought it nearby.”
Even if it’s nearby, it must’ve taken over ten minutes. Just in case it melted, I accept the melon-flavored ice cream that had been tucked between ice cups. Peeling off the wrapper reveals an ice cream that’s softened just enough to eat perfectly. I take a bite, savoring the sweetness, then hold out the half-eaten ice cream to him as he stands there blankly holding the bag.
“…You eat some too.”
“I bought mine separately.”
“Oh, come on. …Just eat it.”
Whether he’s perceptive or not, I force the ice cream into his mouth as he keeps dodging the subject and make him share a bite. He takes one bite, then pushes what’s left into my mouth. Together, we enjoy the cold sweetness.
“…It’s good.”
“Yeah.”
As he says that, he pulls an ice cup from the bag and pours the coffee he bought separately. He takes a sip of the black Americano, washing away the lingering sweetness, then sits on the bed where I’d just been lying and pats the spot beside him. Tap, tap.
“…Are you in heat again?”
“No, are you crazy? Me?”
“Kang Juhyuk, you’ve gone crazy more than once or twice.”
“Not today.”
…Saying that, but the moment the clothes come off, he’ll pounce anyway. I already know he’s going to add another 一 stroke next to the 正 carved into my breast. Because that’s the kind of man he is.
“So, what is it?”
“It’s not like I have something I want to say. Just…”
“…”
Pretending it’s nothing. Acting sweet. Acting cool. I sit beside him and quietly listen to his breathing. …Haa. If the me from half a year ago saw me now, what would she think? She’d probably tremble and say that’s not me. How could I live with a man like that? How could I film that kind of YouTube? She’d get angry like that.
“…Haeun.”
“Ah, yeah?”
“A lot of people are contacting your email asking for ads. What should we do?”
“Ads?”
“Yeah. For YouTube.”
“Weren’t those just spam?”
“Some are real. Think about your view count. You think you wouldn’t get any of those messages?”
“…Really?”
So. This reality feels even harder to accept. Just by wearing slightly revealing clothes and playing guitar, views are hitting 100k, 200k. Without even showing my face, people are asking me for ads. …Ah, now that I think about it, even back when I had my Instagram public, I got those kinds of messages. I blocked them all thinking they were scams. Maybe nothing’s really changed between then and now.
“Well, I don’t think ads fit a guitar channel, so it’s probably better not to take them.”
“…If that’s what you think, I’ll do that.”
“Or we could just make a new channel. Fitness content, lookbooks, ASMR’s been pulling good views lately too.”
“…Would my face show?”
“That’s your choice.”
“As long as nothing shows, it’s fine. …As long as it doesn’t take too long.”
I was always like this. If someone pushes, I get dragged along. Always playing the supporting role. Even if the lead spot is handed to me for free, I decline. That kind of timid woman. …Sometimes I think about it. Even if I succeeded as a singer or an idol or whatever. I probably wouldn’t have been able to stand in the center anyway.
“Then I’ll think about it more. If we make a new one, I’ll use a different name and pretend to be someone else.”
“Why?”
“People who dig into whether it’s the same person will do the noise marketing for us.”
“…I see.”
I myself haven’t changed. What changed was… only him.
“Well, it’ll probably get found out quickly anyway…. If it does, it just becomes publicity.”
“Why. …Because my chest is big?”
“…Do you really have to say that?”
“Pfft… Why? You can tell who I am just by looking at my chest anyway.”
“I can tell, sure.”
“…Then want to check by touching?”
“…”
I was always this kind of woman. I wanted to be loved. I wanted attention. There just wasn’t anyone giving it to me. From people who only wanted my body, I couldn’t feel any affection. He was the first person who wanted the woman named Seo Haeun herself.
“…How about it, Juhyuk? It’s the chest you touch every day.”
“I don’t really think anything of it.”
Of course… maybe it’s because my chest is big too. But if that was all, Kang Juhyuk wouldn’t have wanted me this much, right? The reason he’s obsessed with me is—
“Your breathing’s rough for someone who doesn’t think anything.”
“It’s because I drank coffee.”
“Your excuses are long too.”
…Because I’m Seo Haeun. Because I’m the daughter of the director who kicked him out. Because he used to hate me. Maybe he still does, a little. “…”
Before I know it, he’s moved behind me. I feel his hot, damp breath on the back of my neck as he kneads my chest. Even after violating me so thoroughly, he’s still getting excited over me. What a foolish man.
“…Juhyuk.”
“What.”
“…Master.”
“…”
…Just hearing that one word he likes makes his breathing noticeably rougher. Honest man.
“While you were dropping her off, what did you two talk about…?”
“…She asked me to marry her.”
“…A joke?”
“She was serious.”
He even tells me things he doesn’t have to. Honestly. …Fool.
“What did you say?”
“I said no.”
“…Did she give up after that?”
“No.”
“Then after that…”
“…She said to get her pregnant once the contract ends.”
“…”
…A man living in a fantasy. Excessively happy.
“…You didn’t refuse that either, did you.”
“What could I do?”
“You could’ve just said you refused, you idiot….”
“…Why would I lie to you?”
While groping my chest. After covering me all day like that, he’s still getting excited. A pervert who doesn’t lie. I nestle into his arms.
“…You lied before. A lot.”
“That was then. This is now.”
“What’s different?”
“Back then… I didn’t like you much.”
“…Then now?”
“…”
…Only at times like this. He clamps his mouth shut and just stares at me. I lean into him.
“…If that’s the case, why don’t you just marry her? She’s younger, has money. …She’s pretty. Her chest is big enough for you to like.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why.”
“I just don’t. No reason. …Same as you.”
“…What about me.”
“Why do you like me?”
“…”
Only at times like this. …Even I don’t understand my own heart. He forces it out of me.
“…Why do you like me. This trash rapist bastard.”
“…”
“You’re a player. You get horny for other women and have sex with them. …Why don’t you just throw me away?”
I bite my lip hard and meet his eyes as he looks at me affectionately with an expression even I can’t read.
“…”
…Why am I leashed to this man? Just like he said, he took my first time by force. Forced his way into my house and settled in. Made me wear revealing clothes and film YouTube. Then pounced on me in those same clothes and even left a sex video. Cheats with other women. He’s trash.
“…Take my clothes off.”
“Your answer—”
“Take them off. …I’ll answer after.”
To that kind of man, I stretch out my arms and ask him to undress me. I could do it myself, but I don’t. Instead, I leave everything to him.
“…You take yours off too.”
“…”
Completely bare, like a blank white page. I look at him, who’s also stripped of every scrap of cloth, revealing his pitch-black insides.
“…You said you’d answer.”
I pull him close, press my chest against his torso, and make his still-hard length press against my stomach. I push him down onto the bed, climb on top of him, and cover him.
“I’m answering right now.”
…Looking down at him, I answer with my body.
“What.”
“…Because when I see you, I get like this.”
Like a dog trained by its master, just from being held, my already-wet entrance rubs against him.
“…What does.”
“I get like this. …My body does.”
Just from having my chest touched a little. Even though his hands haven’t reached them yet, I rub my stiff, erect nipples against him.
“…”
“…You made me like this, idiot.”
Wanting to be taken right now. …Wanting one more stroke than her.
“…Get me pregnant.”
“You took the pill.”
“I know, but…. …Just do it like you’re going to.”
Offering the woman named Seo Haeun, who’s desperate, entirely to him.
“Haa…”
…I grab his swollen cock and push it into my entrance, already prepared to receive his seed. Before her. Even one day earlier.
“…Haeun.”
“…What.”
“Do you know what I promised Hinami?”
“What.”
“…I told her I’d get her pregnant too once the contract ends.”
“…”
…At least, not late.
“…When?”
“In about three years.”
“Why, do I have to watch you cheat on me…?”
“…You like it too.”
“What…”
I finally reveal my true feelings and, while he grabs my hips and thrusts up into me, say—
“…You like the trash who fucks idols and gets them pregnant more than just being a gym owner too.”
“What… are you saying, really…”
“You don’t like it?”
“I don’t know, really… ah……♡”
Before I know it, he flips me over, pins me down, and pounds into me from above. Thud, thud.
“Hey.”
“What… ah…”
“…Masochistic bitch who gets happy every time her tits get squeezed.”
“Why, Master……♡”
“…Seriously, this fucking bitch…”
Thud, thud. …Wrapped in the feeling of falling as I’m conquered by him and the sense of superiority from getting ahead of her, I cling to him with my whole body and get thoroughly violated while hearing all sorts of filthy words. …Sticky enough that I want to record it and show her. Interlocking fingers, binding each other’s pinkies tightly.