Facial Recognition
“……Yeah. I’ll be good to the two of them, too…….”
“Get along with them like friends. The girls are still a little young. And if there end up being more, I’ll tell you.”
“Yeah. Don’t mind me……. I just… as long as I have you, Shinwoo, that’s enough…….”
Ju Hayeong burrowed into my arms, and I held her there as we were, sharing the warmth of each other’s bodies. We stayed like that for a little while. When I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was already seven-thirty. Wash up and head out soon, and we’d be fine.
“Shall we start getting washed up?”
“Ah, the time……. We should eat breakfast, too. Just a second.”
“You go wash up first.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll use the one upstairs. Honey, you take the first floor. It’s right in front of you once you leave the bedroom.”
“All right.”
“Breakfast won’t take a minute. Let’s eat, then go.”
“Should I be looking forward to it?”
“Of course. Anything you can’t eat?”
Slipping out of my arms, Ju Hayeong asked as she retied her hair. I kept stroking her waist and answered.
“Carrots.”
A little puff of laughter escaped her. She got up, nodding.
“Don’t worry. I won’t put any in.”
“I want you to put it in, though.”
“……Ah……. Th-then, right now……?”
Ju Hayeong swallowed hard and stole a glance at my boy, who was enthusiastically pitching a tent.
“I’m joking. I’ll leave it to you.”
“……Okay. Towels and everything are in there. There should be a toothbrush on the shelf, too.”
“Got it.”
I watched her back as she left the bedroom, reluctant to go. I lay at my ease on the bed, and the instant she shut the door I bolted upright as if I’d been sprung.
What the hell did this virgin bug do to my body?
The pleasure had been monstrous, but that was beside the point. I was genuinely rattled. The terror of not being able to control my own body, and the exhaustion that came with it — I hadn’t felt anything like it since a solid week of back-to-back overtime. No. This was worse.
And that. What even was that?
I’ve always been a little quick on the uptake. I like to think I’m decent at reading people’s feelings and judging a situation, too. Running my mouth to shake someone, then seeing straight through their mood, had been a real help in getting by. But I’d never had certainty. It was all just possibility. And yet, when I’d looked Ju Hayeong over just now, I’d felt something like a strange certainty. As if something were grading my thoughts.
No, it’s still too early to jump to— my ass, it is.
What came flowing in, as if it were only natural, was a strange sensation. That last stupid joke had been deliberate. I’d wanted to shake her feelings. The moment her words ended — the ones that had whispered to me that I was hers — I’d felt a sense of connection. The belonging I’d sensed from Rahi and Hyunji had felt, this time, as if we were truly linked.
……I’m not breaking down somewhere, am I……?
On top of that, the respect and affection in the way she looked at me felt good, but my head was starting to pound. Ju Hayeong’s emotions were coming through far too loud.
This is going to drive me insane.
It happened as I fumbled over my own body, looking myself over. My thoughts simply stopped at the sight of my boy, standing there fully risen.
……Who are you?
A little bulking up had changed him slightly, but he’d still been cute. Sleek, clean-skinned — I’d thought I was taking decent care of him, in my own way. What was standing now was not cute at all. This.
This is a weapon……. Bathroom. The bathroom.
I got off the bed at once. I snatched up my phone, opened the bedroom door, went into the bathroom, turned on the water, and braced both hands on the sink. My breathing had gone short before I noticed. Until now I’d pretended not to see it, pretended to accept it, but today’s change was far too sudden.
……What on earth…….
I lifted my head without thinking, and the face in the mirror nearly stopped my breath. Beneath the mess of my hair, the line where forehead met hair was clean. The forehead that had been a little thin and plain had turned round and pretty. And the skin. Smooth enough that a fly might land and slide right off. If I said I’d just finished a full going-out routine, someone would believe me. The bathroom is where a man looks his best, sure, but this was something else.
……I’m losing my mind.
Even my brows, the shape of my eyes, the bridge of my nose and the tip had shifted, subtly. I’d never really had cheekbones to begin with, but they seemed to have moved. The jawline that had started to sharpen was crisp now. The fine lines on my neck were gone. My red lips overflowed with health, as if I’d put makeup on. My old face felt like a Picasso. Like someone had taken that Picasso and reassembled it the way a face is actually supposed to look. It didn’t even compare to the changes so far.
It might feel exaggerated because it’s my own face.
To someone else, it might not register as much of a difference. Ju Hayeong hadn’t acted as if anything were particularly strange, after all. But a change like this in a single day was dangerous. I swallowed, dug through my phone, and compared it with the selfie I’d taken at Hyunji’s the day before yesterday. I hadn’t used a filter on that one.
……It’s not as big a difference as I thought, but still.
I held the phone up beside the face in the mirror. Something had definitely changed. It just wasn’t as severe as I’d imagined. Of course the face in the mirror now was much better. So this was how much it mattered, having the proportions right. I hurriedly worked the phone and switched it over to face recognition.
……Unlock. Come on, unlock.
I stared at the phone with burning eyes, but the face recognition wouldn’t release. There was no explaining this away. My face had changed. That was certain. I unlocked it with the pattern and snapped a rough selfie, then compared it with the photo I’d taken at the gym. That one had a filter, since I’d been taking it with Changsu. I flicked back and forth through the gallery, glaring at the two pictures in detail.
It’s about the same as…… using a filter.
A small mercy, maybe. I couldn’t decide whether I was supposed to be glad. It had already changed. There was nothing to be done, and it was a good thing, but still. I let out a heavy sigh and straightened. Then I turned my body this way and that. The face had been so shocking I couldn’t feel much about the rest, but there were slightly swollen muscles in my shoulders, and definition splitting along my arms. The moment I twisted, muscle that had begun to separate showed at once along my side, and over my pelvis, and beneath the six-pack — a little clearer now — the remaining two blocks were slowly poking their heads out.
……The problem is this.
I didn’t need to measure to know. My eyes caught on a 500-milliliter water bottle in Ju Hayeong’s bathroom. I brought it over and held it up, quietly comparing, and the near lack of difference left me speechless. No — the bottle was a little bigger. By about two or three centimeters.
The bottle’s right around twenty centimeters, so.
Eighteen or so? With the old size, I could talk myself into it: the fat had come off, and what had been hiding had simply come out. This wasn’t that. Bluish veins had risen along the shaft, wrapped around my boy’s body like ornament, standing proud as if he’d been dressed up. I pressed them. They were raised so firm they wouldn’t go back in. The girth was even less ordinary. I took it between thumb and index finger, and the fingers didn’t meet. He wasn’t a son anymore. He was a bludgeon.
I’m really going to have to be careful…….
Shove something like this in without a thought, and it would be closer to torture. The moment the image of Hyunji or Rahi in pain rose up, I bit down on my molars. The torment was only ever a matter of form. I didn’t actually want to hurt them. If nothing else, sex ought to be good for both people — that was my motto in bed. Still, I was a man, so I had to admit it felt a little good.
……Even so, it’s reassuring. The more I look, the less bad it is. I’ll just pay more attention to the foreplay.
More was more, after all. In this case, was it bigger-is-better? When I snapped my hips, watching my boy bounce taut and spring this way and that, I could feel a strange confidence welling up. This wasn’t something to stand around grinning like an idiot about, though.
Why did it suddenly change this hard?
No matter how I turned it over, I couldn’t find a cause. The only thing that snagged was that there hadn’t been any penetration since I’d slept with Hyunji. There had been sexual petting in between, and oral, but that was barely two days ago.
……No, right? It’s not sulking because I did something other than put it in, is it?
It wasn’t going to answer. It was maddening. If that really was it, I’d have to start keeping our meetings centered on penetration, and that wasn’t my taste. Insertion alone, with no rapport, couldn’t possibly be any fun. But the change was too extreme to test. If it happened once more, anyone would find it suspicious. Hyunji and Rahi would worry about me, and Changsu in particular had a sharp eye. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Changsu. This was a different kind of problem. Even having the thought was a problem to begin with. I couldn’t live on nothing but lies while keeping my guard up against everyone around me.
No. Not that.
A sigh spilled out of me on its own. What had changed had changed, and there was nothing to be done, so I needed to think only about managing the aftermath. The trouble was that the weather was warming, and I wouldn’t be able to hide my body under a coat.
In spring I’ll just have to get by with a trench coat somehow……. No. Better to—
Personally I’d never cared for them. They felt like trying too hard to look sharp. Maybe this was for the best. Better than covering up too long and then suddenly unveiling a body like someone years deep at the gym. Right. That was what I’d do. Better to show it early. Take the photos mainly at the gym. Make some use of filters, too. Either way, I wasn’t changing my policy. I’d just have to work my social media harder. Before I knew it, pure white steam had begun to fill the bathroom, fogging the mirror. I sighed again and picked up the showerhead.
I get it, so I’d appreciate it if you’d quit the protest and go down.
Maybe he was sulking because I hadn’t recognized him. My boy showed no intention of settling. But then, in that instant, the strength drained out of him, and he started to go slack. I stopped the shower I’d been pouring over my head and stared blankly at the sight, muttering inwardly.
……Get up.
As if he’d been waiting, my boy sprang straight up in one go, veins on display, and started throbbing.
……Drop dead. Lie down. Go to sleep. Stop. No way……. Go down.
No matter how I muttered, the boy who’d been standing there so sturdily drooped again the moment I told him to go down. I blinked and lifted him — cute again — to look him over. I kind of liked this. The size had grown, so if he stood up just anywhere, it would show immediately. And of course I was glad, too.
Our boy has to keep growing up healthy like this.
Was it a blessing that the look of him before he got hard was about the same as before? I set him back down, and the moment he struck my pouch with a soft thump — I’d thought the balance felt off.
“……Why is this so big now, too?!”
I bellowed before I could stop myself, then hurriedly clamped a hand over my mouth. No presence at the door. Ju Hayeong must still have been in the shower.
……This is going to be uncomfortable from now on.
It was the jewel pouch hanging beneath my boy. I lowered a hand, quietly cupped it, and lifted, and the uncommon weight and size left me with nothing to say. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as I’d expected, but the feeling of it touching my groin — something it had never reached before — was unfamiliar. Cross my legs without thinking and it would get pinched. Completely.
Figure it out yourself. I don’t know anymore.
I was ready to give up. Robust masculinity was welcome any time, after all. What size underwear was I supposed to buy?
“……Haa…….”
I came out of the bathroom and headed for the living room, where my bag had been tossed. A soft sound of water from upstairs — Ju Hayeong was still showering. I pulled clothes and underwear from the bag, quietly spread my briefs, sighed, and put them on.
……Yeah. Tight.
With the muscle setting in, my waist and hips were a little pinched. Nothing, though, like the scream my boy was letting out. The pouch especially was badly cramped. I’d need at least a large. An extra-large, maybe.
Tsk.
I scratched my head, got dressed, and started looking around Ju Hayeong’s house. The clean interior and the quiet little objects suited her. The kitchen was wiped so well there wasn’t a trace of water. Not a speck of dust on the leaves of the plant in the corner, either. Busy as she was, she kept a good house.