That Day
"Th-that would never happen……. Wh-what about chests? I heard men care a lot about chests……."
"Mm. I don't really care about size. If anything, I like them a little on the bigger side—but that doesn't mean I dislike smaller ones."
Small breasts had a charm all their own. Come to think of it, every woman I'd met so far had been a B-cup or larger. B and up shouldn't even have been that common. Had I been drawn to them on instinct without realizing it?
"……You like them big?"
"Why?"
"I-I knew you were strange, but……."
"Mind calling it a preference? You'd have to be the type who sticks her tongue out the second she lays eyes on someone—like you—before it counts as a deviant appetite……."
"Ah! I get it, okay!"
Bae Jihyun snapped, her face gone red, and a laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it. Teasing her had a surprisingly good flavor to it.
"……Then what is it you like, Shinwoo?"
"Hm?"
"The way you talk…… it feels like this would be fine, and that would be fine too……. I can tell what you don't like, but I don't get any sense of what you actually, specifically want."
"Oh. Not a bad try at sounding sharp. It's an obvious question, though."
"What is it, then?"
"A pretty, slim woman who takes care of herself."
"……Not that. For real. There you go again, saying something obvious……."
Even that much was no different from admitting I had ridiculously high standards, and yet Jihyun called it obvious and shot me a glare. I scratched my cheek and sank into thought. Who, exactly, had I been drawn to?
"……A woman with talent, or results, in her own field? They shine. On top of that I prefer the gentler sort, though I don't mind if she's a little fierce. Oh—and a woman who doesn't lie."
"Ah, I get it!"
"Huh? Are you mad?"
"Ah. No……. It's not that……."
I let out a short laugh at the way she watched my face, and went on.
"Anyway, I'm drawn to whichever side feels cute. Hmm. About that much. But taste isn't something fixed, you know. Some days it can turn out completely different."
It had ended up sounding like anyone would do, so I scratched my cheek again. A feeling really could hit you anywhere, at any time. It was a little embarrassing to realize, belatedly, just how omnivorous I was. Jihyun, though, looked at me as if I were something fascinating, and asked with care.
"……A-as expected of a Multimale……. What about age……?"
"A gap of about ten years is fine. Under twenty, or from the late forties into the fifties and up—that's a bit much. The young ones especially. I don't like that. This world could disappear, you know."
"……What?"
"There's a thing about that. Anyway, so long as they're not young, I don't really worry about age."
"……R-really?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I-I was worried because I'm older……."
"Twenty-eight is just right. That little bit of belly was cute, too."
"……I'll work out hard……."
"Don't do it for my sake. I told you earlier, didn't I? You, exactly as you are, are already attractive."
"……Okay……."
She answered in a small voice, and her face burned scarlet. A thread of a sigh left her. She stole glances at me, stopped the car at a red light, and murmured as if she were whispering.
"……I knew you said pretty things, but I-I didn't know words could be this sweet……."
"Of course, if you fall outside my taste, there's nothing I can do."
"So that's what you're telling me to do!"
I snorted at Jihyun firing back.
"And there's something you ought to know."
"Yes. Go ahead."
"I'm already seeing two women. There are people watching me, the way you are. And there's a chance the number will grow."
"……Ah, I-I know what you mean. I've heard how Multimale households work. Don't worry. I'm confident I can be sweet about it and get along."
"All right. Does it bother you?"
"Absolutely not. E-even just giving me certainty like this is already more than enough……."
Before I knew it we had reached the café in our neighborhood, and Jihyun began easing the car to the curb. As if she hated to let the moment end, she set her chin on the steering wheel and hugged it close. The gentle curve of her back was quite pretty. The navigation chimed that we had arrived. Even so, she wore her reluctance with her whole body and made no move to say goodbye, so I quietly opened my mouth.
"There's something else you've got wrong."
"……Wh-what……?"
"I listened carefully to what you said you'd been thinking over."
"Yes……."
"All of it was about work, wasn't it?"
"Th-that's right……?"
"I was saying those things to Bae Jihyun. Not to Lee Hyang-sook."
"……Ah."
She looked at me, and something seemed to click. Her eyes went moist. She swallowed.
"……I think I understand what you mean……."
"I'm not doing this because I want to use you. Of course there were things I hoped you'd help with, and I'm grateful for what you said you'd do."
"I-I know……. I'm sorry. I misunderstood……."
"You don't need to apologize. Gratitude is gratitude. So—can I look forward to what's ahead?"
I reached out and stroked her cheek. Jihyun slowly closed her eyes under my hand and let a soft sound slip out. Her cheek was burning. The talk in the car must have worked her up all over again.
"……You said I could speak honestly, right……?"
"Yeah."
"……K-kiss me……."
"Come here."
"Ah……."
The hand on her cheek drew her head in, gentle but sure, and I covered the lips that came to meet me as if she had been waiting. I tasted her slowly. A startled little sound caught in her throat as my palm slid down over her chest. Her heart was hammering hard enough to burst. For a moment she flinched and went rigid—then she wound her arms around my neck and gave herself over to the kiss, soft, needy sounds spilling between our mouths.
We tasted each other for a long while before we slowly drew apart. A thick strand of saliva stretched between us, snapped, and dropped onto the leather cover of the center console, staining it. Neither of us cared. Jihyun breathed out, flushed and unsteady, stared blankly at my face, and opened her mouth.
"Haa……. A-aren't you a little too good at this……?"
"So. Did you hate it?"
"Th-there's no way……. It's better than what I'd heard……. So much better……."
"I liked your lips, too."
At that her eyes wavered again. She let out a long sigh and whispered.
"H-how am I supposed to sleep tonight……."
"This is something you can only feel right now. Treasure it. Enjoy it."
I looked quietly into her eyes, and her face went loose and hazy. I stroked her cheek and murmured.
"Got it?"
"……Yes……."
"I'm going, then."
"G-go carefully. If it's all right, I could take you as far as your door……."
"No. I'm a little warm. I'll get some air."
"……Ah. O-okay……."
She watched me with a worn, aching look as I opened the door and stepped out, but I kept my face turned away, caught the door, and waved.
"See you later. Call me when the contract comes through."
"……Yes. I'll go……."
I turned and started down the alley, but behind me I still didn't hear her car pull away.
So it's I Want to Date.
I wasn't expecting all that much. From the way Jihyun had described it, the scale was nearly on par with a major cable variety show, and that did leave me a little tense. Still, if I could do even a bit better there, it might be a real help in growing the channel—and I might be able to use it as a foothold to siphon attention into other content.
It has to land.
Today's first button seemed fastened well enough. I'd have to see how it turned out. I tried not to mistake a good atmosphere on air for actual success; getting carried away would only lead to mistakes. Even so, a little confidence had taken root. A little certainty. Thanks to Pal-kkumchi.
If Pal-kkumchi went out of his way to another broadcast just to make an offer, that means there's potential.
Potential had shown itself. All that remained was waiting for the offers to gather. And even though I'd tried to stay as comfortable as I could, that alone had been enough for the viewers to come away satisfied. At the very least, even appearing only as a guest seemed worth milking for however much screen time I got.
It'd be nice if things went the way I think. But, well.
The world never moved exactly as I wanted. More than anything, what I had to watch for was picking up a reputation for using other streamers. I thought I knew how to avoid that, too. If the streamers themselves looked glad to have me, it probably wouldn't go sideways.
Editing's handled. Management, too. Thanks to Jihyun, this got a lot easier than I expected…….
Her help had simplified the work. That left only one thing for me to prepare. I had two weeks at most, but even for that stretch I needed to train and build the stamina to survive a shoot. Stamina was the foundation of everything. On top of that, I'd heard about an attempted rape—only a fool wouldn't prepare. And since I could finally train with Rahi in something close to proper one-on-one lessons, it felt like things had worked out for the better.
It's late. I'll call tomorrow and head over…….
A silhouette in front of my door made my heart lurch. After the talk about Rahi and Hyunji earlier in the day, I'd been feeling I needed to start being careful, and I'd even learned from the broadcast that I was already on a list. I must have been more tense than I'd realized. Then the sensor light flicked on, and I knew who it was. A familiar crown of the head.
"……Rahi?"
Crouched at my door with her face buried in her knees—it was Rahi. She flinched at my voice, hugged her knees tighter, and slowly lifted her head. The sight of her face startled me.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"……Shinwoo."
Her eyes were swollen bright red, mascara smeared and running. She looked up at me with her face a wreck, on the verge of sobbing. My chest felt like it was tearing. I hurried over, dropped to one knee, and studied her face. She didn't look like she'd been hit. Her cheek was cold. The weather had eased a little, but she must have been out here like this for a long time.
"It's still chilly. What are you doing sitting out here? You know the door code."
"……I'm sorry. Shinwoo. I'm sorry……."
"For what? Explain it to me. Calmly."
I wiped the tear tracks with my hand and waited for her lips to move. She'd said she was going to the gym. Had something happened there again? Or had someone hit her? I looked her over, but at least her face seemed all right. Then she answered in a tiny voice, and I nearly sat back on my heels.
"……I-I'm on my period……."
"……What?"
"……I'm sorry. I didn't get pregnant……."
"……So that's why you've been sitting out here?"
"Yes……. I'm so—sniff—I'm so sorry……."
"What kind of……."
I started to ask what kind of thing that was to apologize for, then let out a heavy sigh. At the sound of it she buried her face in her knees again, and I quietly stroked her head. Unbelievable. Just how cute was she planning to get?
Haah. This bear of a woman, honestly. She's fully committed to being cute.
I looked at her, and noticed a black plastic bag beside her, gaping open. Tampons, pad-style sanitary napkins, and a few pregnancy tests. She'd probably meant to buy the tests ahead of time, and then her period had started while she was out, so she'd bought the pads too.
"……Does it hurt?"
"……No. I'm sorry……."
"Sorry, my ass. If you're on your period, what are you doing sitting on cold ground? Get up."
I gathered her up and got her to her feet. She rose without strength, buried her face in my chest, and wrapped her arms around my waist. I stroked her head. Her body was cold. She'd been outside quite a while. First I had to get her inside.
"Let's go in. You're due for a scolding."
"I'm sorry……."
"Yeah. This one you should apologize for. Do I have to say it again—that you're mine?"
"Ah……."
"What were you going to do if you caught a cold? You train for a living, and you treat your body this carelessly?"
At that she started to cry again, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand before the sobs broke loose. At that grieving, wretched weeping, I let out a sigh of relief without meaning to.