A Misunderstanding
"Come in."
"……Yes." She swallowed, loud enough to hear.
"What are you gulping for? I told you, it's the same as always."
"……I said it's my first time."
"Yeah. It shows."
I'd been a little worried the place might be a mess, but when I thought about it, I hadn't spent much time at home lately. There simply hadn't been any time to make one.
"Here, hand that over. Have a seat."
"……Ah, no, it's fine. I can just put it in the fridge, right?"
"Yeah. Go ahead."
Even after stepping through the door she stayed awkward, and a laugh slipped out of me. I went in first, shrugged off my coat, and hung it on the rack. Rahi crept in after me and started to take off her padded jacket, then froze. She stole a glance at my face and let out a sigh.
"You're going to sigh a hole straight through the floor. If it's that hard, just keep it on."
"N-no…… I'm really just a little worried. In case I smell……."
She peeled the jacket off anyway, and there it was: the gray tank top and leggings I'd only ever seen on her at the gym, and the firm line of her stomach. I changed into a T-shirt in the bedroom and came back out with the sleeves rolled up.
"Sit tight for a minute. Want to play a game while you wait?"
"Ah, okay…… Would it be all right if I looked around a little……?"
"What's there to see in a place this small? Go ahead."
"……Okay."
I left her alone so she could get used to the place, and took out the garlic and onion I'd picked up at the store. If it had been just me, I would have thrown something together, but I was feeding a guest, so I decided to care a little. It wouldn't even take a few extra minutes. What I didn't notice was the way Rahi's face, behind my back, was slowly going stiff.
"……."
There was rustling behind her, and the sound of water, but Rahi only stared blankly as she stepped first into Lee Shinwoo's closet. Standing in the doorway, her expression grew graver by the second. She lifted her phone and looked at the hangers, nothing on them but black and gray. A wide rack, and only a few garments hanging here and there with empty space between them. She took a picture. Speaker muffled under her fingers, she watched for any reaction from the kitchen, let out a small sigh, and left the closet. Then she went into the bedroom beside it.
……
Without meaning to, her legs went weak, and she leaned a shoulder helplessly against the doorframe. One bed. That was all. Gray sheets, a plain comforter, and an old nightstand with nothing on it but a charger cable lying there by itself. Rahi stared at it with empty eyes, then quietly took a photo. The shutter clicked through the gap in the fingers covering the speaker. She flinched, but the sound of running water must have covered it. From the kitchen, not a word.
"……."
After a moment's hesitation she fussed with the phone and opened her messages.
The crying stickers kept coming, but Rahi's mouth stayed hard. She attached the photos she had just taken and sent them.
Rahi's hesitating fingers hurried across the screen.
She couldn't bring herself to type what came next. She hesitated, then sent it anyway.
The little 1 beside the message disappeared, but for a long while nothing came back. Even so, Rahi kept writing.
The reply arrived the instant she sent hers, and it startled her more than silence would have. She tipped her head, wondering if Hyunji simply hadn't understood — and then another message came.
A sound drifted out of the kitchen, and Rahi hurried off another message.
Rahi stared at the screen and swallowed. Then, as if it hurt, she gathered the tank top over her chest in one hand and slowly smoothed it. Sorrow and worry filled her face. She had no idea she was under an enormous misunderstanding.
A hum slipped out of me on its own. It hadn't been a good day only for Rahi. For the first time in a while, I'd had a pretty good time myself. How long had it been since a date where I didn't have to calculate every little thing, where there was no tension, where I didn't have to watch the other person's mood? If anything, I was the grateful one.
"That fascinating?"
"Ah, a-a little."
I smiled at the sense of her still lingering in the bedroom and dropped the sliced garlic into the pan, where the oil was already snapping. The water was just starting to boil, so I put the noodles in. Two servings was a first, but if it wasn't enough, I could always make more.
"Sit down. Or play a game."
"Okay."
She answered, but she didn't head for the living room. She came up quietly behind me. I felt her arms slide softly around my waist and stomach, and then the warmth of her against my back, and the pleasant give of her chest. The corner of my mouth lifted before I could stop it. Behind me, her heart was pounding. It felt like being healed.
"See? Nothing special, right?"
"……If you're the one making it, anything is fine."
"Good. It'll definitely beat that shake."
"……Th-that was…… it just ended up that way while I was mixing……."
"Look at you, being honest. It tasted bad to you too, didn't it?"
"B-but they say things that taste bad are good for you."
"Want me to make it taste bad, then?"
"……If that's what it takes to put your mind at ease……."
"Oh-ho."
"Pfft."
"Then I'll just salt your portion a little extra……."
"Ah. No salt. Sodium is the root of all evil, I'm telling you……."
"Then sugar……."
"No. I'll get fat."
"……Picky. Maybe I should just dump the whole pepper shaker in. Spoken like a true trainer."
"I-it really is bad for you, that's why……."
"If you can't eat salt and sugar just because they're bad for you, is there even a point in living a long time?"
I was borrowing a famous celebrity's line. Salt and sugar in place of meat. The moment I finished, strength flooded through Rahi's whole body. This bear of a woman and her ridiculous grip. For a second I couldn't breathe, and I very nearly dumped the sugar for real.
"……Don't say things like that."
"All right, all right. Could you set out the beer and the forks?"
"……I want to stay like this a little longer."
"Sure."
Chin resting on my shoulder, Rahi watched me cook. And the cooking — closer to assembly than anything else — was finished in no time. We carried it to the low table in the living room. Floor seating, but Rahi's place was the same, so she sat down on the floor without a second thought. Watching her settle onto the bare boards, I made a mental note that I ought to buy cushions, or a rug.
"How is it?"
"Wow, it's good."
"Glad to hear it."
I'd been a little tense, but the jarred sauce didn't betray me. I watched, pleased, as Rahi ate with her cheeks working. So this was why people liked feeding someone. After the meal we sat side by side with a beer and turned on the TV. More precisely, we sat there with controllers in our hands.
"Ah, that's cheap."
"Well, what am I supposed to do? You're in front."
"Still, only going after me is a bit much."
"……Should I stop?"
"Now's my chance."
"Ah! You're mean!"
Somewhere in the middle of the game, two or three empty cans apiece had ended up rolling around beside us. Not enough to be drunk. If anything, we were just getting into it.
"Hah!"
"Ah! That's too much!"
The only games I had were ones I'd played alone, so I'd picked a kart racer for the two of us, and it was more fun than I'd expected. There were others, too — one where you paddled a raft, and games you had to play together. Pretty fun. No wonder they were popular. Then, just as we were about to move on to the next event, Rahi spoke up, careful.
"It's my first time with a console, but it's fun."
"Playing with someone like this is a first for me too, and it's fun."
"Um."
"Yeah?"
"I want to try a game you like."
"Oh. You do?"
I looked at her quiet nod, got up, and went over beside the TV. I put away the controller we'd been using, turned on the other console, brought a pad back, and handed it to her.
"It's one I had a good time with recently. It won't be easy."
"Ah, this. I've heard of it…… but……."
I sat down behind her as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Warmth filled my arms. I reached around her, drew her in, and closed my hands over the ones holding the controller, and beside me I heard her swallow. The game I'd chosen was one people called a masterpiece among the soulslikes — the kind that had only grown more exacting as the genre took off.
"……Ah."
"Kehehe. Told you it wouldn't be easy."
She had already died five times to the tutorial boss. Ever since I'd sat down behind her she'd been a little tense, and her reactions were slow. The slight buzz might have had something to do with it, too. But stubbornness was starting to take hold. As her face tightened on the screen, the urge to tease her rose in mine.
"Ah, hnn……."
The moment the boss hit her and a soft sound slipped out of her, I reached out and slowly swept a hand over the full swell of her chest. They filled my palms and spilled a little past them, and that, I thought, was the real thing. Ju Hayeong's were nothing to scoff at either, but the instant Rahi's settled into my hands, satisfaction spread up from somewhere deep in my chest until I was smiling. And I leaned in and whispered, very quietly, against her ear.