The First Conversation
First, I meant to keep Rahee safe. I had no intention of putting her through any trouble for nothing.
"I'll drop you off first."
"……Would you like to come up to my place?"
"No. I'm going to meet this head-on."
She looked at me then, face and eyes full of worry.
"Are you really sure you'll be all right?"
"I can't keep living like this forever. I can't ask you to pack me a change of clothes every time I leave, can I? They might be easier to talk to than I think."
"……Then I'll watch from the alley over there. All right? Please, do it that way."
It was closer to pleading than simple worry. I gave a quiet nod before I answered.
"If nothing happens, you'll have to go on alone. Will you be okay?"
"I'm a woman. I'll be fine."
"……It's the other person I'm worried about."
"……That's mean."
"What am I supposed to do if someone takes one look at how pretty you are and decides to start something?"
"……Ah……."
The blank look on her face was so cute that a short laugh escaped me. I drove past the building and parked beside the alley.
"Hoo. All right. Here I go."
"……Yell the second anything happens. I'll come running."
She uncurled her fists, her face set hard, and for a moment half of her was the trainer again. I took an involuntary step back and hurried the words out.
"Don't wait around. The moment I get inside, you go home. I'll check."
"Yes. Don't worry about me."
"……And do something about those fists first."
"Ah. Right."
Faced with a Rahee so steadfast she looked downright dependable, I let out a small sigh, turned, settled my bag on my shoulder, and started walking. At once the eyes of the women clustered near the building snapped to me. Far off, in the alley on the opposite side, a DSLR with a cannon of a telephoto lens was aimed my way. I steadied the tightness in my chest and slowly opened my mouth.
"Hello."
"……Ah……."
"Ah, hello……."
If anything, greeting them first left them plainly flustered, and they returned it with dazed faces.
"You two were here the day before yesterday, weren't you? And the person over there with the camera."
"……Ah, that's……."
"Y-you saw us……?"
The looks fixed on me had gone past sharp and turned hot. I was still a little tense, but I did my best to meet them as if it were nothing, and as naturally as I could.
"Yes. Honestly, the first time I saw you I got a bit scared, so I never managed to say hello."
"……Ah, w-we weren't trying to do that."
"Really. We were just……."
"……We just wanted to see you in person, oppa……."
Good. None of them seemed to have any real trouble holding a conversation. I looked toward the end of the alley, gestured, and called out.
"Could the person over there come over for a moment?"
Even from where I stood, I could see the huge lens wobble at my shout. When the women around me gestured as well, the hesitating lens dipped. A woman with a camera stepped carefully out from the mouth of the alley and began to approach. She was on the short side, which only made the camera look bigger.
"Just a moment. Once she's here, let's talk."
"……Okay……."
"R-really, you don't have to worry. We were just……."
"We mean it. We only wanted to see you once, Shinwoo……."
"I know. I know you came because you like me. If anything, I'm grateful you see me in a good light."
"Ah……."
At my words, every face changed at once—surprise, embarrassment, expressions gone soft and blank, a whole cluster of reactions—and the tension in me began to ease. The shift on the face of the bear of a woman at the very back looked, unexpectedly, quite innocent. Expressionless, she had seemed downright terrifying. Right. Judging people by how they look is a habit I ought to drop.
"……U-um……."
The woman with the camera came closer and spoke. The moment our eyes met, she dropped her gaze in a single motion. She was small, her face covered in freckles. The impression she gave was playful, but her manner was so lacking in confidence it barely seemed to exist at all.
"Ah, you're here. I think you were the one taking my picture."
"……Yes……. I-if you mean to assert your portrait rights, you'd need proof that my photos were used commercially……."
She rushed it out like an excuse, reciting something she had prepared, no better than reading aloud from a textbook. I lifted a hand and stopped her.
"It's all right. You can take as many as you want."
"……Huh……?"
At that, every face went blank at the same time. Their reactions were cuter than I had expected. Appearance aside, just knowing they meant well made them easier to talk to.
"As long as you promise me a few things."
"……Wh-what kind of things……?"
"Please don't post the candids where I'm pulling a weird face, or anything that just came out looking bad."
"O-of course. Nobody posts stuff like that these days……."
"And, as I'm sure you know, there are people I'm seeing."
"……Ah……. I-is this because of their photos……?"
"Yes. You understood right away."
The freckled woman looked as if she could not believe what she was hearing, so I went on.
"I'd like you to leave their pictures alone. Promise me that, and that's all I need. What do you say?"
"……Th-then we can take as many pictures of you as we want?"
"Ah—you're not doing hidden shots of me in the shower or anything, right?"
She gasped and flapped her hands so hard she nearly dropped the camera. I shot a hand out and caught it.
"Careful. That looks expensive."
"……Ah……."
"Anyway, if you'll just respect privacy like that, I won't make this tiring for anyone. Do you agree?"
"……Yes……. I absolutely, absolutely won't let that happen. M-my colleagues will agree too."
I gave her a small, quiet smile, then lowered my voice and added one more thing.
"While you're at it, could I ask you to use the ones where I look decent? From the camera, it seems like you actually know what you're doing. I'm terrible at photos."
"……I'll… do my very best……."
"Then it's a promise? I can trust you, right?"
"……Yes……."
Her freckled face had gone soft and blank. I quietly took out my phone, showed her the screen, and went on.
"I trusted you enough not to record a thing. What's your name?"
"……K-Kim Eunji……."
"Eunji, and your number?"
"……M-my number……?"
She swallowed, audible even from where I stood. Whatever she was imagining, color climbed all the way into her face, and the other women's eyes swung onto her.
"Yes. If a truly strange photo goes up, I'll need a way to reach you."
"……Ah, yes……. H-here, my card……."
She had been about to answer, then hesitated and moved a hand to her waist. I had not expected a business card. She turned a sling bag around to the front of her chest, drew out a single card, and held it out, her hand trembling. I took it and checked the name, and even I was a little thrown. She was no amateur. She was a photographer for Rogue, a fashion magazine famous enough that even someone as hopeless about fashion as I was had heard of it.
"……You're a magazine journalist?"
"……N-not a journalist……. I only take pictures……."
"So this is just a hobby?"
"Well……. Yes……."
"Is it all right for you to give me your card?"
"……I-I usually keep it a secret……. But you were so kind that I got greedy……."
"Greedy?"
"……We're desperately short on male models in this field. I wondered if you might be interested……."
The flattery was laid on so thick that I waved it off.
"Me, a model, looking like this? If a professional is willing to photograph me, I'm the one who ought to be grateful."
"……Ah, no……. I mean it……."
I watched Kim Eunji's face redden, then turned and spoke to the others.
"I'm glad I talked to you today. To be honest, the people around me really were worried."
"W-we understand……. We know we've been in the wrong, too……."
"……I'm sorry."
Watching them apologize in turn, I felt as if I understood that the world was not made up entirely of bad people. Even so, I could not let my guard down. Being too accommodating was its own problem, but I had no intention whatsoever of provoking them. Better to send them off kindly. And if I was going to do that, I would have to offer a little something in return.
"Still, isn't it a waste of your time to just wait around like this?"
"……Sorry?"
"Lately I've been so buried in working out that I get home around this time. If something comes up I might be later, and if I have plans I might not come home at all."
"……Huh……?"
"Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I work part-time at a place called Coffee House out on the main road, from morning until around lunch. Do you already know?"
"……Ah, we know……."
"Right, I remember. You're the one who ordered the vanilla cream frappuccino, aren't you?"
"……Yes……."
"That was the first time I'd ever made one. Anyway, aside from that, all I do is work out."
"Ah, we know. We saw your Instagram……."
"……Ah, so you're in Anyang……."
"Yes. That's right. I've got somewhere to be the week after next, so I'm rushing to get in shape, and it's killing me."
"……Ah……."
The way they reacted to every single thing I said—the looks, the expressions—made it surprisingly enjoyable to talk.
"Anyway, that's how things are, so I wanted to ask you not to wait too long."
"……."
They only stared. I scratched my cheek and went on.
"Then, mind if I head up?"
"……O-of course. We really weren't trying to be a bother……."
"We just thought it would be enough to look at you……."
"Th-thank you so much for even talking to us……."
"Talk? Feels like I was the only one going on."
"Ah, no. That's not what I—"
She looked startled, almost panicked. I smiled at her gently and continued.
"Then I'll say hello again. Ah—and that promise to respect my privacy. I can count on it?"
Five heads nodded at once. They reminded me of chicks. I lifted a hand to wave and was just about to turn when—
"……U-um……."
"Yes?"
"……Thank you so much for talking with us today. A-and……."
The woman who had been hesitating traded a look with the others, and they nodded. Curious, I watched her. She stepped quietly closer and held out her phone. Something green was up on the screen. It did not look as if she were asking for my number.
"……Y-you have a fan club, Shinwoo……."
"……I have a what?"
"A f-fan club……. Ah, it's only a few hundred people so far……."
"……A few hundred?"
"Yes……. We're past three hundred now……."
"……."
"W-we could promote harder if we wanted, but then every random person would pile in……."
She offered it almost like an apology. A fan club. The words were so absurd that I could only stare blankly at the screen myself. It was a little group app with a green window.
"O-once we pass five hundred, we're going to open a proper online community. And the president couldn't make it today……. I-if it's all right with you, could you join……? Ah, or even just the open chat……."
The moment she finished, I heard five separate gulps. It was not that big a deal, but I could hardly believe it myself, and my answer came late. She watched me with anxious eyes and pressed on.
"……The truth is, there are other Bands too……. If you joined, they'd all fold into one……."
"A-and the photos—mine included—only go up on the Band, so it'd be easy for you to check them, oppa."
"We really are strict about taking people based on character, and anyone with a record or a bad reputation, we can deal with on our end. Fan circles are all the same crowd, so if we actually sit down and look into someone, we can find out who they are. It really isn't anything bad……."
Now they were talking over one another, almost making excuses. The urgency was impossible to miss. I scratched my cheek, met five pairs of eyes that swallowed again as they watched me, and opened my mouth.
"Sure. Why not."
"Really?!"
"You mean it?"
All five faces lit up at once. Behind them, the bear of a woman clenched a small fist and tugged her arm in tight, and a laugh slipped out of me. They were even more shocked than I had expected. Was there something else going on?