The Heart
"……I think I like it."
"Then that's what you'll call me?"
"……Yes……."
Well, maybe her first love really had been a teacher. It wasn't as if that sort of thing had been unheard of, even in the world before this one.
"So your first love was a teacher?"
"……W-well……."
Go Yewon hesitated, watching my face for a reaction, and I let out a short laugh before I answered.
"It's fine. Did you really think I'd get sulky over something like that?"
"……I'm sorry……."
"Sorry for what. I've got a first love of my own. When was yours?"
"……H-high school."
"What subject did she teach?"
"……Korean……."
"That's unusual. I heard you were the athletic type."
"Th-that's why the Korean teacher seemed so cool to me……. Not that I was any good at studying, of course."
Once I took it in stride, Yewon seemed to relax at last. She stuck her tongue out and grinned. Just then the sound of the locker-room door carried into the gym, and she sat down quietly at my side, as if she hated to let the moment end.
"Figures. People do tend to be drawn to talent in the places they don't have it themselves."
"……Yes. Are you… are you really not bothered……?"
"By what?"
"Me, um, my first love……. I heard men really hate hearing about that sort of thing……."
Fair enough. Man or woman, listening to someone talk about their first love could leave a sour taste. But I wasn't bothered in the slightest. It wasn't as if I had no past of my own, and at my age that kind of thing barely registered anymore. If anything, I wanted her to compare. I was confident I'd come out ahead, no contest—and yes, that confidence extended to the bedroom. The Special Internal Energy deserved most of the credit, but still.
"So what if you had one. I told you I've got one too."
"Who was yours, Shinwoo?"
"A girl from another school who went to the same cram school as me in middle school. Different class, so I never even learned her name."
"Really? Why not? You should have asked."
"It wasn't that easy."
"……Th-then what did you like about her?"
"What's this? You ask if I'm all right, and then you're the one who can't let it go?"
"Of course I care……. I want to know your type, Shinwoo……."
She had a point. Yewon didn't know my type. On looks alone, no one here could even be compared to that first love of mine. Come to think of it, if I had to name someone similar, it would be Mirae. What was Mirae up to these days, anyway? Still, falling for someone was never just one thing. Plenty of factors had been at work, and even I would have had a hard time explaining exactly why. I'd have to explain it to her sooner or later, and I didn't mind in the least. It was the first time Yewon was hearing any of this.
"Yewon."
"Yes……."
"I like you better just the way you are. I'd rather you didn't force yourself to match my type."
"……Shinwoo……."
"You're already plenty pretty. Your figure's good, your chest is exactly my type, and you were cute in bed, too."
At that, color flooded Go Yewon's face until it was bright red. She swallowed hard, but she didn't look away from me.
"……Really?"
"Yeah. From here on, I just want you to stay like this—pretty, and kind, exactly as you are."
The feeling showed plain on her face. Tears gathered, bead by bead, in those pretty eyes, and I reached out and gently wiped them away.
"Don't cry. Anyway, let's keep having a good time together."
"……Yes."
"Just don't be the way you are when you're doing yoga."
"Ah, I understand……. And I'll do my part, too……."
"You're already doing fine."
"……All I ever do is take help……."
"Then later on, you can be the one who helps me."
"……Don't worry. I'm really going to work hard."
"You're already doing more than enough, and you've held up well."
"……Yes……."
Go Yewon rested her head quietly against my shoulder. It lasted only a moment, but that brief silence was long enough for me to feel exactly what was in her heart. Before long the locker-room door sounded again, and Rahee's and Eunchae's voices drifted in, faint. Yewon started to pull away, reluctant, but I reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist.
"Ah—mmph……."
I covered her lips at once, and flustered as she was, Go Yewon didn't hesitate. She circled my neck with her arms and met the kiss, still and soft.
"Haa……."
"Then I'll see you tomorrow."
"……Yes. Get home safe."
"Hold on just a little longer."
"……What?"
"I'll find a way for us to live together."
"……Ah……."
Tears welled again, but at the sound of Rahee's and Eunchae's footsteps she hurriedly wiped them and put a little distance between us.
"You know you and Rahee both cry more than you let on?"
"Rahee does? Sniff."
"Yeah. She's more of a crybaby than you'd think."
"……I've never even seen Rahee cry."
"No? She's completely adorable when she does."
"……Now I'm curious."
Yewon gave me a sheepish smile. Over her shoulder I saw Rahee and Eunchae coming toward us, and I rose slowly from my seat.
"Then sleep well, and get some real rest."
"……Yes. You too, Shinwoo……. Get home safe. I'll see you tomorrow."
"I've got a part-time shift tomorrow, so I'll be late. It's Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."
"Ah, right. I heard."
I caught Rahee's and Eunchae's eyes as they reached us, then stepped out of the gym. Yewon meant to see me all the way outside, but I sent her back in and climbed into the van.
"Anyang Station's fine for the drop-off?"
"Yes. I didn't know you could drive a van too, oppa."
"Class 1 license, so. Still feels a little awkward, though."
"……I'd only ever heard of a man getting a Class 1 license. Never seen it."
"Well, now you have."
I eased the van out and onto the road. Rahee, in the passenger seat, turned something over quietly for a moment before she spoke.
"Even if I get my license, I probably won't be able to use it right away, will I?"
"Probably not. Still, you ought to get it as soon as you can. You never know when you'll need it."
"Right. I've never even thought about driving."
"Mm. Eunchae, do you have a license?"
"Yes. Class 1, and I drove trucks at the lab all the time. If you're tired, I can drive."
"Then you can take the wheel when we're in a hurry. How was teaching the kids?"
"We actually had some breathing room. We even got to rest a little, taking turns."
"Anything that felt off?"
"You sound exactly like the director, oppa."
"Do I seem like I'm butting in too much?"
At that, Rahee and Eunchae both looked aghast and waved their hands.
"Ah, no. That's not what I meant."
"Not at all. Thanks to you, Shinwoo, it feels like things are slowly starting to come together for us, too."
"If I cross a line, tell me straight. I don't want to stick my nose in that far either."
Eunchae couldn't quite find a way to go on, but Rahee seemed a little more used to me by now. She smiled as she answered.
"Don't worry. Honestly, you're far more reliable than that Yewon of ours."
"That's a problem all on its own."
"I know. I worry about when she's ever going to grow up."
"Listen to you, talking like you've got it all figured out. I've still got a long way to go before I grow up myself."
"……That does sound about right."
"Oh ho. Do you know when a man is finished?"
"I have a feeling I don't need to hear this."
"Same."
"Just listen. When he gets old? No. When he retires? Not that either. A man ends the moment he loses his childlike heart. That's when it's over."
"……I bet you'd still be saying that even as a white-haired old man."
"I think so too, unnie."
"You've got your work cut out for you too, Rahee."
"You too, unnie. Let's both hang in there from here on."
I let out a short laugh at the way Eunchae and Rahee played off what I'd said, and Rahee, who'd been watching me, smiled back, soft and easy. Eunchae, looking between the two of us, asked carefully.
"……How long have the two of you been together?"
"Not long. Coming up on two weeks now."
"That's right."
"……Really? You seem like you've been together for years."
Then, very quietly, she added, "……I didn't know you were someone who could smile like that." I was driving, and I didn't quite catch it. Rahee didn't seem to have heard her either; she simply nodded along with me.
"What was that? I missed the last part."
"Unnie, me too."
"Ah, it's nothing. I didn't say anything."
"Well, we did get close pretty fast."
I slipped the remark to Rahee, half teasing, and she flushed a little and gave a small nod.
"Me too……. I can hardly believe it, but it feels like we've been together a long time."
"Come to think of it, was it about four years ago I first met Eunchae?"
"Yes. We saw each other almost every day for about two years. After you went to the company, we barely saw each other at all."
From there the old, trivial stories picked up one after another, and before I knew it we were near Anyang Station.
"Then I'll see you tomorrow. What time are you coming in?"
"We said we'd come by three, after lunch."
"All right. Get home safe."
"Yes. Oppa."
"Hm?"
I turned my head at the sound of Eunchae calling me. She was watching me with a blank face, and I tilted my head.
"What?"
"……You get home safe too, oppa."
"All that hesitation just to say goodbye?"
"……Just because. See you tomorrow too, Rahee."
"Yes. See you tomorrow, unnie."
Only then did Eunchae open the door and step out of the van. Wondering what that had been about, I scratched my cheek, and Rahee, seated beside me, looked at me and whispered.
"……I think unnie likes you a lot, Shinwoo."
"How can you tell?"
"I just can. It's obvious from her eyes."
"Women's intuition, that kind of thing?"
"Maybe?"
I'd only confirmed my own heart today, and Rahee had seen through it at once. Here I'd thought she was nothing but a bear—slow on the uptake. I gave a short laugh and looked at her.
"……Think it'll be uncomfortable?"
"Unnie? No. I told you—if you're happy with it, Shinwoo, then I'm happy with all of it."
She took the hand I'd kept on the gear shift, gentle and warm, and under the look she gave me I felt, without quite meaning to, a little shy.
"Thank you so much for looking after Yewon."
"I won't pry into what the two of you talked about. She didn't say she felt left out, did she?"
"Not at all. She was over the moon. You must have held her so warmly."
"She told you everything, I bet."
"It was nothing much. Are you curious?"
"No. I don't want to look like I'm watching over every little thing."
"……This is why I like you even more, Shinwoo."
She stroked my hand as she looked at me. I eased the van to a stop at a red light and looked back at her.
"……The moment your period's over, tell me. Got it?"
"……Yes……."
The air between us was heating up, but a horn blared from behind and I snapped back to myself in a hurry and drove on.
"……Um, can I sleep with you tonight……?"
"Think you can hold back?"
"……I'll try……."
"I can't."
She flushed at that, and I let out a short laugh before I went on.
"Let's take a look in front of the house first."
"I was curious about that, too. Are there a lot of women?"
"This late, maybe two or three?"
"Then what about the other day, when you went home early?"
"All told, there were about seven."
Rahee's eyes went round, and she asked in a rush.
"……That really is dangerous, isn't it?"
"One of them was pretty scary, yeah."
"Shinwoo. Don't you actually need to move, and soon? Even my place, or Hyunji's house, if nothing else……."
We'd already talked about it before, but my own thinking had shifted a little, and Song Gayeong showing up with a knife was the reason. Han Gyeo-wool was still watching over me, so I didn't think we needed to be quite that afraid—but it was still better if nothing happened in the first place.
"I'll think about it."
"You mean it?"
If anything, Rahee looked more relieved when she asked again. She must have been worrying a great deal.
"Yeah. You won't be uncomfortable?"
"Not at all. And, well……. If I think of it as practice……. ahead of time……."
"Besides, these days I sleep at home less often than not."
"……E-even so……."
I understood Rahee well enough, and I knew just as well that she wanted it—she showed it that plainly. We reached the house, and as I eased the van slowly down the alley, Rahee sighed at the few figures she could make out and spoke.
"I don't understand why they do this at all. This is why men are afraid of women."
"That's true. But they are being forward, and it's hard to dismiss the fact that they like me. The feeling itself is sincere, isn't it. Liking someone isn't a crime."
At least they weren't running around with a knife the way a certain someone had. I had no intention of telling Rahee about that, either. I'd mention it around the time we started living together—or else I'd just keep it to myself.
"……That's because you're too considerate, Shinwoo."
"Am I? Hm. Five of them tonight."
Five, this time. It was already nearly eleven. Whether they were determined to see me no matter what, or whether they had something else in mind, I still couldn't tell—but if I took Rahee inside with me now, I was more likely to set them off than anything else.