The First Outing

I could see nothing. The only sensation reaching my numbed senses was a heavy, suffocating weight bearing down upon my entire body.

Did I die and get kicked back to reality?

Just as that dread crept into my mind, someone gave my shoulder a firm shake. The touch felt curiously soft and plush—hardly human.

With a brittle crack like an eggshell splintering apart, the darkness shrouding my vision shattered, letting a flood of brilliant light rush in.

“Nngh... Where am I...?”

My cottage. So I hadn't died after all.

I struggled to push myself up, but a vicious throb flared through my lower back.

“Ow, ow, ow... My back...”

I supposed passing out face-first onto a hard wooden floor would do that to someone, but did it really have to hurt this much? After groveling there in misery for what felt like an eternity, I finally managed to drag myself upright and crawl onto the bed.

“Wait, my stats... How much did they go up?”

Only then did it occur to me to check my attribute changes. Please, let it be at least five points... Just give me five, please!

“Strength and Agility are still sitting at 4...”

Drifting my gaze further down, my eyes locked onto Intelligence. I checked the tens digit first.

“Yes! It worked!”

The moment I confirmed the increase, a triumphant cheer burst from my lips.

A whole ten stat points! It had hurt like hell, but the payoff was nothing short of miraculous. Enduring that splitting migraine had earned me ten full points of Intelligence... Wait, had it only been that excruciating because it was me?

While I was lost in thought, an adorable little rumble echoed through the quiet room. Feeling a sudden flush creep onto my cheeks, I rubbed my growling stomach.

“Nobody's watching, right? Whew... Thank goodness.”

I cautiously opened my inventory and retrieved the piece of fowl meat. It looked remarkably like prime poultry, boasting an ideal balance of fat and lean meat.

“Honestly, this would probably taste amazing just grilled...”

The problem was that I had zero experience handling raw game like this. I had whipped up simple meals with ordinary chicken and pork back home, sure, but I never imagined I'd have to play fantasy survival chef.

“Don't they sell ready-made food...?”

Worried, I opened the market exchange and navigated straight to the culinary category.

Stop.

I slammed the exchange window shut.

Did these lifestyle slackers put zero effort into anything?! The culinary update dropped years ago, so why the hell did the food still look like this garbage?! And to add insult to injury, the few dishes that actually granted stat buffs were priced at extortionate rates.

“Forget it... I'll just cook something myself.”

Fiddling through my skill menu, I verified that I possessed the Cooking skill. Which made sense, considering the game handed every player Level 1 in all life skills right off the bat.

“Still... can you even cook anything with just a single cauldron?”

There was no one around to answer my burning question—unless you counted the system interface, that is.

Nope. Not happening.

Now I understood why nobody bothered playing a chef: the starter equipment was obscenely expensive. How were beginners even supposed to break into the profession? If anyone dropped real cash to fund a kitchen right after creating their character, they deserved a standing ovation.

“Forget ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it. I'm eating out.”

Since this was my personal housing instance, returning wouldn't be hard, but leaving was another matter entirely.

“To summon the transit gate...”

I was used to hitting a quick hotkey back when I played on a monitor, but surely it was tucked somewhere in the menu? I rummaged through the system interface in search of the gate option.

“Ugh... couldn't the devs invest a little in the UI? The legibility is absolute garbage!”

Whenever new players complained about the interface in the past, I used to wonder why they were whining when they could just click a hotkey. Now I understood their pain all too well.

“Ah, here it is... Gate!”

When I tapped the menu option I had finally unearthed, an electric crackle buzzed from outside the cabin. Stepping outdoors a moment later, I could only let out a defeated sigh.

“What in the world is this design?!”

Plastered all over the portable gate were cutesy cartoon teddy bear faces, topped off with a giant sculpted bear perched right on the archway, clutching a dimensional teleportation gem.

“Wait... didn't custom gate skins cost ten million Estel...?”

Another piece of the puzzle fell into place regarding how I had wound up in crippling debt. If you were going to blow that much cash on cosmetic customization, at least make it look cool!

A loud growl from my stomach cut short my indignation. Approaching the gate, I shouted the command in my heart:

Take me to Baiten!

Hazy smoke swirled around my body as the gem clutched by the teddy bear flashed with brilliant light. An unfamiliar mana enveloped me, and the instant I stepped through the threshold, my form vanished from the clearing.

When I opened my eyes, an idyllic fantasy town unfolded before me—the very world I had only ever known through flat computer graphics.

“Cheap! Dirt cheap! Buy now and it's yours for only 3,000 Estel!”

Street vendors lined the cobblestones, barking energetically to draw in customers. I cast a curious glance toward a merchant with a bushy beard peddling wares on a makeshift stall. The fantasy world felt tangibly real against my skin. The warm, buttery aroma of freshly baked bread drifted from a nearby bakery, while the rhythmic clang-clang of hammers striking red-hot iron rang out from the blacksmith's forge.

Then, a strangely prickling sensation made me look around. The eyes of passersby were gravitating toward me in droves.

Excuse me... how am I supposed to walk around if you're all staring so intensely?

Feeling utterly overwhelmed by the collective gaze, I ducked hurriedly into a side alley.

“Why the hell is everyone staring at me like that...?”

Belatedly, I inspected my outfit.

I was draped in the shabby beginner's alchemist robe, and only now did I notice the coarse, scratchy texture betraying its bargain-bin quality. Looking down at the green and white fluids splattered haphazardly across the cloth, a groan slipped from my lips.

“I look like a total beggar...”

The green stains were particularly repulsive; upon closer inspection, they looked uncomfortably like discolored goblin bodily fluids. Sniffing cautiously at the hem revealed a grassy, herbal scent that wasn't outright foul, but the optics were atrocious.

“Do I have any spare clothes to change into...?”

Mortified, I opened my inventory to browse through my wardrobe.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

What in the world was this taste...?

I slammed the inventory shut and strolled out of the alley. I was only here to grab a quick bite and head straight back anyway, so how bad could a little embarrassment really be?

If I don't feel ashamed, there's nothing to be ashamed of, right?

With that airtight logic, I began strutting forward with extra confidence.

...Only to immediately re-learn just how excruciating it was to walk under the weight of everyone's scrutiny.

Well, I've got my hood pulled up, so it doesn't matter.

After wandering around for a while, I followed a mouthwatering aroma straight into a lively tavern-restaurant.

“Welcome! Table for—”

The waiter's greeting ground to a halt. Catching sight of my shabby robe coated in suspicious, unidentifiable fluids, his face visibly crumpled.

“I'm terribly sorry, but we don't have any tables available at the moment...”

I glanced around at his words. The dining hall was practically half-empty.

Did this damn NPC just judge me by my clothes...?

“I'll eat fast and be out of your hair, so just give me a corner table.”

Annoyed, I reached up and pulled back my hood, heading straight for an empty booth in the corner before he could even offer to seat me. This was a beginner town anyway, and I couldn't even tell the players from the NPCs. What, was someone going to go write a forum post about seeing someone in dirty clothes? That was classic newbie gatekeeping! If they hated it so much, they should buy me a new outfit!

Determined to act as brazen as possible, I threw back the hood completely, allowing cascades of silky golden hair to spill down over my shoulders.

“Can I get some grilled hog skewers and something to drink?”

Intending to grab a quick, light bite before leaving, I placed my order, then turned my head away with a huff from the waiter, who had frozen dead in his tracks beside me.

Looking down on someone just because their clothes were a bit dirty was uncalled for... especially coming from a lowly NPC!

Before long, a plate piled high with sizzling grilled skewers and a wooden mug filled with a vibrant violet liquid were set down on the table.

“Thanks for the food.”

Reaching out, I picked up one of the skewers. The glossy brown glaze mingled with the rendered fat, dripping down and glistening under the tavern lights in the most tantalizing way.

Let's see here... Just one bite.

The instant the meat met my tongue, my eyes snapped wide at the explosion of flavor.

Was meat always this delicious...? The excess grease had been expertly rendered away, leaving succulent, tender morsels completely devoid of any gamey odor. The sheer intensity of the flavor wrung an involuntary, embarrassing whimper from my throat.

“Mnnnh...”

To think the first thing I tasted after dying would be this divine...

After finishing the skewer, I closed my eyes to savor the lingering aftertaste for a moment, then reached out my small hand toward the mug.

Gotta see how the booze tastes too!

I tipped the mug back and gulped down the purple liquor. It washed away the greasy coating in my throat with a crisp, refreshing bite, and I barely swallowed down an ecstatic moan.

I honestly can't stop...

Throwing all self-consciousness to the wind, I devoured the food in a trance.

...Wait, why were there more skewers on the plate? I didn't order this many.

Ah, so the waiter felt guilty for giving me the cold shoulder earlier? Well... I'll gladly accept the apology.

Polishing off every last skewer on the platter, I leaned back against the wooden chair.

“Oof... I can't eat another bite...”

In my original body, I could have easily put away three more plates, but this small stomach had already reached its absolute limit.

Still... the stares were even worse than before.

It felt like more and more male patrons had been gawking toward my table for a while now, wearing dopey, smirking grins. Their gazes felt bizarrely unpleasant. It was as if I had become some sort of carnival attraction...

“Time to get going. Bill, please!”

Pushing myself up, I headed toward the entrance. The waiter who had greeted me earlier waved his hands frantically, his face flushed bright red.

“I-It's on the house! Earlier, I was so rude about your clothes...”

His face was curiously red. Was he running a fever or something?

“On the house...? But I only ordered one plate and a single drink...?”

I tilted my head, utterly baffled.

“The owner told me not to take any money! And... he said he'd love it if you'd come by often...”

I blinked once, twice, before nodding as if it all made sense.

Free food...?

Dabbing away the sauce clinging to the corner of my lips, I gave an agreeable nod. Well, if they were giving it away for free, far be it from me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to refuse.

Ah, today is turning out to be a wonderful day...

The moment I stepped through the doorway, the tavern—which had been hushed in dead silence—erupted into an absolute uproar, prompting me to clap my hands over my ears. Drunks were all the same.

“Time to head home.”

Humming a cheerful tune, I made a beeline for the public transit gate situated in the center of town. Destination: my cottage!

Sensing the distortion of space wrapping around me, my consciousness blurred. Time to go home and list that potion!

Upon returning to the cottage, I dove straight onto the bed and pulled up the market exchange.

A free meal was nice and all, but if I wanted to pay off my staggering debt, I needed to make serious money. That meant I had to sell the mana recovery potion I'd brewed earlier.

“All I have to do now is list it...”

Was it really wise to unleash an absurdly broken potion that permanently increased Intelligence onto the open market? It hurt like absolute hell to drink, though...

“The pricing is tricky, too...”

Selling it too cheap might trigger unwanted chaos, but if I priced it too high, nobody would buy it.

“Alright, let's just set a starting bid without a buyout price!”

When in doubt, let the market decide. Look at me, being surprisingly clever—must be all that boosted Intelligence at work!

Setting the minimum bid to 30,000 Estel, I closed the exchange window.

Without the faintest inkling of the cataclysmic wave this potion was about to unleash upon the economy, I drifted peacefully off to sleep.