Free Chicken
Free Chicken
"Haaaa...."
I took off my headset and tossed it onto the desk. A deep sigh filled the room.
[ DEFEAT ]
The red letters flashing on the monitor were making my blood pressure rise.
"...S-Gong is a fucking trash game, shit."
I definitely turned it on thinking it was a masterpiece, but actually playing it feels like I'm getting cancer. My teammates don't even know what a Dark Knight is, and when I set up a Void Shroud, they start talking shit like, "Why are you blocking the way?"
"Three rounds and I'm sick of it, seriously."
Exactly three rounds. Anything more than that is in the realm of testing human patience. I quit the game without any lingering regrets.
Looking out the window, I saw it had already grown dark. I checked the clock. 7:00 PM.
"Is it already dinner time...?"
I just registered for classes, lurked on communities, and played a few rounds of games, and the day has been deleted. Is this the life of a redundant university student? It's not bad.
My stomach growled. Since I settled for a cheap Hye-ja lunch box for lunch, I was craving something greasy for dinner.
"I should just order chicken."
The chicken I had with Ji-hye the other day was pretty good. I opened the delivery app and habitually pressed the order button.
[ Order received. Estimated arrival within 40 minutes. ]
I lay on the bed and killed time blankly watching Newtube.
As I scrolled down, the state of the algorithm was unusual. 'Boy group fancams', 'Male beauty Newtubers', 'Male high schooler vlogs'...
Of course, female cams or ordinary music channels appeared occasionally.
But men overwhelmingly filled the screen. From faceless game streamers to bedroom cover song channels where they sang while playing guitar.
"...Heh."
Thinking about it, it's a bizarre thing. In reality, men are an endangered species, so it's hard to even see them on the streets, so why is Newtube overflowing with men like this?
After thinking it over, the answer was simple. It's a survival strategy.
If they go outside, they have to suffer from pouring gazes, burdensome attention, and non-stop hunting attempts... So everyone evolved to stay cooped up in a corner-of-the-room bunker like me and communicate safely by turning on a cam.
Attention offline is fatigue, but attention online becomes money (views).
Where else could there be a more perfect job that makes the body comfortable and the wallet thick?
'Maybe I should try broadcasting later too.'
Showing my face is a bit much, but I think it would be quite lucrative to do a gaming broadcast while wearing a mask. For now, I'll put that on hold.
How much time had passed like that?
Ding-dong—
A cheerful bell sound broke the silence.
"Kitta!"
I jumped up from my seat. Today's only joy, Lord Chicken, had arrived.
I went to the entrance and brought in the heavy bag that had been placed in front of the door. The savory smell of oil spread throughout the room.
I opened the chicken box, drained the chicken radish juice into the sink, and even popped the cap of the cola. It was a perfect setup.
With a solemn heart, I picked up a drumstick.
Now all I had to do was tear into it.
Zing- zeeing-.
The phone I had placed on the table vibrated. Talk about artistic timing.
Wondering what tactless human was interrupting my pre-meal ritual, I checked the screen.
[ Ji-eun noona ]
"...Huh?"
Noona? Holding the drumstick, I hurriedly pressed the call button. She's the benefactor who bestowed a large sum of money yesterday; it would be impolite to pick up late.
"Yeah, noona."
Ji-eun noona's voice came through the receiver. A slightly awkward but calm tone.
― Jin-hyeok-ah. It's been a while since I called.
"Yeah. Actually, the delivery just arrived. I'll enjoy the chicken."
― ......?
Noona couldn't continue for a moment. It felt like a question mark was piercing through the receiver.
― Chicken? What did I send?
"No, the money you gave me yesterday. The 30,000 won that was left."
I added while looking at the brilliant half-and-half chicken before my eyes.
"I just ordered it with that. The timing is killer."
― ......?
An exasperated silence flowed through the receiver. However, instead of getting angry, noona replied with a much softer voice.
― ...Right. I see. Enjoy it. It's important that you're eating well.
"Yeah. Thanks, I'll eat well."
I replied while skillfully tearing into the drumstick. Noona hesitated for a moment and then cautiously brought up the main point.
― Anyway. Jin-hyeok-ah, I heard you're going to university soon? Is there anything you need? I was thinking of buying you a bag or some clothes for your admission.
"I'm fine. I have everything."
In fact, all I have are the hiking-style padded jacket and windbreaker Omma bought me, but rather than begging noona and being dragged around the department store to be played with like a doll, it's more comfortable to just live as a fashion terrorist.
― Really? If you really need something, contact me anytime. And... be careful when you go to school.
Her voice suddenly became serious. She sounded like a noona worried about a younger brother going off to war.
― If strange girls try to force you to drink, or try to drag you somewhere secluded... don't hesitate or mumble because you can't refuse, just run away immediately. Got it?
"......"
― That's how you really get your nose ringed for life. I heard kids these days are scary. They even kidnap and confine people.
Kidnapping, huh. Hmmm...
Regardless of whether they're women or not, if they try to drag me away by force, I'm confident I can immediately land a punch on their jaw and thresh all their teeth out.
Of course, even if I told noona that, she wouldn't believe me. I replied with total indifference while picking the meat off a chicken bone.
"Yeah. I'll run away well on my own. I'm pretty quick on the uptake, you know."
― ...I suppose. I heard from Omma. You really have changed a lot.
Noona let out a hollow laugh.
― In the past, you'd be on the verge of tears even if I said one word out of worry. Now you're even talking back. You're all grown up, hey.
In noona's voice, there was a mix of strange relief and the suspicion of 'did this brat eat something wrong'.
If this gets any longer, it'll be tiring. The chicken is getting cold too.
"Yeah, I got it. Hang up now. The chicken's getting cold. I'll really enjoy the meal."
― Yeah, okay. Enjoy it. And Jin-hyeok-ah.
"What now."
― When classes start next week, really be careful at school. Haven't you seen the news? The world is so grim these days. You know how much Omma and I worry, right?
Here we go again. The basic passive skill of women in this world: worrying about men. Listening to it makes me feel like I've become a kindergartner instead of a university student.
I gave a half-hearted answer with a drumstick in my mouth.
"I got it, I know. I'll be careful."
― Right. Take care of yourself. Let's see each other's faces later.
"Yeah. See you later. Hanging up."
Ttuk.
The call ended.
"Hmmm..."
I fell into deep thought while crunching on a chicken radish. What should I actually do once I go to school when classes start?
It's co-ed in name only, but in terms of gender ratio, it's practically a women's university with a few guys tagging along.
Should I try joining a club? ...No, let's forget it.
If I go, it's obvious I'll be treated like a new panda in the zoo and become a spectacle. I have an ominous feeling that even if I just sit on the sofa in the club room, people will take pictures saying, "Oh my god, look at him breathing! So cute!"
Then, what about dating?
A girlfriend... honestly, in this world, dating would be a piece of cake if I set my mind to it.
To put it bluntly, let's say I go out on the street right now, grab any woman, and suddenly shout this.
"Hey! You fucking bitch!"
― Yes?
"Let's have a fuck!"
In my original world, that would be a guaranteed meeting at the police station, but here, it would be different. Nine times out of ten, they'd shout with sparkling eyes.
— Okay! Yes of course! Here we go~!
...While doing that, they might even offer deep bows in all four directions on the spot, saying, "Thank you, ancestors, thank you!" There might even be a bitch who says she'll take a waiting number and wait.
"......"
Now that I've imagined it, it seems a bit crazy. Did I go too far?
I don't know. Looking at the state of this crazy world, the trap is that it doesn't seem entirely impossible. When supply and demand are broken, moral concepts break down along with them.
But for now... I'm hesitant.
They say things easily gained are easily lost, but here, it's the opposite. If you gain it easily, you might get eaten down to the bone.
Just like noona said, if I get caught by the wrong person, my life could really get its nose ringed.
It's 1 to 9 here. This is a place swarming with viper-like women who will never let go once they bite.
If I step in out of curiosity for no reason, by the time I graduate, dozens of marriage registrations in my name might be piled up. Or I could be confined in some basement hearing, "Oppa, we have to have a third child today, right? You said you wanted one earlier."
'Ugh, jeez.'
Just imagining it gave me goosebumps. There's no need to put on shackles of my own accord. It's not like it's urgent right now. It's not like I'm some horny brat obsessed with women.
What should I do after graduation... that's a worry for the too-distant future.
"Whatever, let's just eat for now."
I picked up the remaining chicken wing. I'll leave the complicated worries of the future to the future me.
The current me just needs to tear into this free chicken.
"One week until classes start..."
There's a long way to go. I sincerely hope that I can live like air, like dust, without attracting much attention at school. But with my identity already exposed as the 'Pub Rabbit Man', it's uncertain if that's possible.
"...Well, I guess I'll have to face it to find out."
What was my life motto again? 'If you can't avoid it, enjoy it.'
Right. Whether it's this crazy world or the madness-filled female students. I'll try my best to blend in quietly, but if that doesn't work...
"I'll just live however I want."
I finished off the night before the storm by taking a shot of the chicken radish juice.