The Premiere Reactions Are Glowing
"Eek!"
Jang Tae-ri, mid-phone call, screamed in sheer fright.
"Damn bird poop!"
"What's wrong?"
Shin Jo-woon startled at the sudden shriek through the receiver.
"What happened?"
"I don't know, a bird just— Eek!"
"What? What is it??"
"Yeon-woo!"
Jang Tae-ri cried out in alarm.
The bird droppings turned out to be the least of it.
Yeon-woo was completely surrounded by birds, as if he'd been swept up in a pigeon tornado. A magpie sat in the middle of the flock, and crows had shown up too.
Rembrary, however, remained perfectly composed. His exact expression was hard to make out, but from his unhurried movements and voice, he was unmistakably calm.
If anything, he was waving his hands back and forth, muttering things like "Now, now. That will not do. No, no," like some kindly old sage.
And then, astonishingly, the flock of birds that had swarmed him gently dispersed and flew away.
Rembrary brushed off his clothes.
Jang Tae-ri could only stare at the scene, dumbfounded.
Only after he'd straightened his attire did Rembrary notice she'd finished her call, and he quickly delivered his line.
"Even knowing what I was getting into, it's still so hard. You're the only one by my side, Taeri... and moments like these make me lonely."
"You don't exactly look lonely..."
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
Thinking that a scene like this belonged in a children's picture book, Jang Tae-ri plucked the stray feathers from Rembrary's clothes.
"The birds must really like you, Yeon-woo."
"Not just birds. All animals like me."
"Oh wow, really?"
"That does include humans among the animals, of course."
"?"
"I believe I was born to be loved."
"Ah... is that so?"
Jang Tae-ri remembered how her friends had reacted when she first revealed she was a Yeon-woo fan. They'd recoiled, saying she had bizarre taste.
To be fair, that was back when Yeon-woo drew far more hate than he did now, so the reactions had been especially harsh — but still, that was less than six months ago, wasn't it?
She'd assumed the vicious comments from that era still lingered as a painful wound for Yeon-woo himself... Could it be he'd simply never gone on the internet at all?
As she watched him with suspicion, Rembrary mulled something over for a moment, then added, "Though there are people who dislike me."
"Yeon-woo... that's not your fault."
"Of course not. Naturally."
J, who had been hoping for a scene where Yeon-woo confessed his pain and received comfort from Tae-ri, let out a short sigh when the man went and recovered just fine on his own.
In the meantime, Jang Tae-ri popped a churro into Rembrary's mouth.
On the surface, he seemed to carry no wound at all from the hard times he'd once endured — but as a fan, her heart still ached for him. He seemed to love eating, so she'd wanted to feed him something delicious.
After that, she stretched out the time a while longer before delivering the essential line.
"By the way, Yeon-woo, what do you like about me?"
"That you resemble a giant squid."
"..."
"Ah — the giant squid that lives in the deep sea."
"Hey, that was rude to Taeri! No — even if she were ugly, how could you say it like that to someone's face!"
On the drive back to the dorm.
Jong-woo pounded his own chest as he shouted. Rembrary, who had been asked by Taeri herself to see her as a giant squid, felt rather wronged.
"When I said before that Shin Jo-woon resembled a whale, Taeri countered that she herself was a giant squid from the deep sea."
"That was just a joke because a deep-sea giant squid is stronger than a whale!"
"They were hardly insults, were they not?"
"They were insults! These days people use 'squid' to mean ugly!"
"Ah. Is that so? But no one will misunderstand. There is video proof that Taeri brought up the giant squid first."
Jong-woo shook his head wearily and sighed.
"That's a relief then, but..."
Time: 11:30 at night
Had my second date with her today.
During the date, she asked why I liked her. I answered that she resembled a giant squid — which was absolutely not meant as "you are the ugliest thing alive."
Set the squid aside — judging by atmosphere alone, she looked nothing like a squid.
She actually resembled a lynx.
Ah, two hours ago, while eating a chicken breast salad, I consulted Cathy — the only one among us with actual dating experience — on whether this was something that could air on television.
Either way, I consulted him.
The question was this: at our next date, after I clarify the giant squid remark, would it be good or not to tell her that she resembles a lynx rather than a squid?
Cathy said I should pick a cuter animal instead of a lynx. A puppy, or a cat, for instance.
But Taeri resembles a lynx. I will not lie.
Time: two in the morning
Before bed — that is, around 12:20? — I sent Taeri a text: "Taeri, you resemble a lynx."
But what is this. I sent the text to Taeri, and the reply came from Shin Jo-woon.
He demanded to know what he resembled. I told him I had no idea, but raised the firm suspicion that the two of them had gone to a restaurant without me.
He has not replied. Guilty conscience, evidently.
If they really have been going to restaurants without me, then Taeri is demoted from lynx, and Shin Jo-woon is demoted from whale.
Taeri is a scorpionfish. Shin Jo-woon is an anchovy.
Time: three in the afternoon
Between dance practice at the studio, I checked my messages on break, and Taeri confessed that yes, the two of them had gone to a restaurant together. She said they stopped by a hotel restaurant for a shoot, then went to the lounge afterward.
I am gravely disappointed.
The two of them are now a scorpionfish and an anchovy.
Time: six in the evening
Weather: sunny! Gloriously sunny!
Shin Jo-woon is a whale once more.
I was leaving the set of Dear God when, unexpectedly, Shin Jo-woon was waiting for me in the studio parking lot.
When I asked what an anchovy was doing on dry land instead of splashing about in the sea with the scorpionfish, he protested that he'd only filmed his schedule as planned and didn't deserve this treatment.
When I asked whether he'd thought of me while eating his steak, he protested anew.
"Well, I doubt you thought of me while eating your pizza either."
I had not, of course.
But when I said that had he bought me a steak, I would have chewed every bite while thinking of him, he proposed going to buy me a steak right that moment.
I scoffed — did he think I would fall for something so cheap? — and he walked off, telling me to go without it, then.
Between pride and practicality, one must choose practicality.
I hurried after him and offered to be persuaded after all, and he bought me a steak at a restaurant nearby. He even threw in a lobster as an add-on.
Shin Jo-woon has been promoted back to whale.
Afterward I took a photo of Shin Jo-woon and a photo of the steak, and sent them to Taeri along with the message, "I am free tomorrow at four in the afternoon."
It worked. As of fifteen minutes ago,
Taeri texted that she knows an even better western restaurant.
Taeri is a lynx again.
And I am a mighty priest who knows how to command two beasts... a person, that is.
The premiere of Dating Process was a success.
The viewers who'd tuned in out of curiosity after the teasers, and the viewers who'd switched on their TVs huffing indignantly at the mere mention of a two-timing concept, both sat there with their mouths agape, eyes locked on the screen.
The concept was provocative, but the editing was sweet and honeyed, so not a single one of the three teams had drawn hate yet.
All three teams had landed well, but the one generating the most buzz by far was the Two-Timing Team.
"PD-nim!"
The very day after the premiere, Jong-woo sought out PD Song Yoon-bi and presented her with a box of fruit.
He had very nearly cried.
Of every PD Jong-woo had ever met, Song Yoon-bi had edited Yeon-woo in the most endearing light of all.
Frankly speaking, she'd made him even cuter than the real-life Yeon-woo.
"Thank you! This is the first time since Yeon-woo debuted that he isn't getting trashed!"
"That's why I told you to trust me. I never do malicious edits."
"Thank you. Truly, thank you!"
After bowing his thanks to PD Song Yoon-bi again and again, Jong-woo handed out all kinds of food to the staff and headed back to the dorm in high spirits.
Ah, once we start work on the new album the dieting will get brutal again. Maybe I should let them eat well before prep begins.
Remembering how Yeon-woo had talked about nothing but food every day on the show, he bought three pizzas on the way.
It wasn't just Yeon-woo — they were all at the age when they could really put food away.
"Pizza's here!"
And yet when he arrived, there wasn't a single one of the kids who should have come stampeding at the smell of pizza.
Did they say they were going out today?
Jong-woo set the pizza boxes down on the table and checked the bedroom and the bathroom, but as expected, no one was there.
Where did they go?
He picked up his phone and scrolled through his message history, wondering if his memory had failed him.
But no one had texted that they were heading out. Even for something unplanned, they usually sent a message if something came up.
That's strange.
Jong-woo dialed Jungseo first.
Riiing riiing riiing
The default ringtone went off directly behind him.
— End of Chapter 98: The Premiere Reactions Are Glowing —