A Smile in the Clouds
A week had already passed since Teun-teun-i left for the Dog Star.
The space someone leaves behind cannot help but remain as sorrow. But the duty of those still living is not merely to grieve—it is to hold that sorrow in the chest and raise it into memory.
Mongmong Animal Hospital, too, carried Teun-teun-i's absence in its heart as it lived on into the days that followed.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Friday, Friday: the old joke for working weekends as if they were weekdays. That was Lee Jun's schedule in a nutshell.
Officially, of course, his hours at Mongmong Animal Hospital were five days a week, with two days off. Except that half of one of those days was spent seeing patients at Namgoong Animal Medical Center, and the other full day was spent either treating animals at Uriteul Shelter or volunteering as a therapy assistant alongside Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree.
That left half a day—and even that, Lee Jun spent at Mongmong Animal Hospital. Sitting beside the inpatients, walking them, or heading down to the playground to watch the visiting dogs play. To Lee Jun, this was rest.
Sometimes it turned into an actual exam—checking whether anyone was hurting—but the truth was simpler: Lee Jun loved talking with the animals. He was the kind of person who healed just by being among them. That was Lee Jun.
The staff, who had no way of knowing any of this, kept trying to persuade him to go home and actually rest. Whenever they did, Lee Jun would smile and say the same thing.
"Being with these guys is how I rest. And I took time off for the holidays, plus I had a whole month off before we moved here."
He told them not to worry. He was resting plenty. The staff were having none of it.
"People aren't machines. You've got to rest now and then or you'll break down and stop running. Especially you, Director—you're the captain of this ship. What do we do if the captain goes down?"
Go Gi-jin, watching from right beside him, piled on just as fiercely.
"Hyung-nim, you're gonna collapse again at this rate. And next time it might not be a month off—you might have to rest for good. So please, just take one proper day. If you don't rest, how're the rest of us supposed to?"
And so the staff established a once-a-month Lee Jun Day. On that day, Lee Jun was absolutely forbidden from setting foot in the hospital. Other work was banned too. Rest, and rest alone.
"It's only once a month, so you have to keep it. Otherwise, we won't rest either."
"That's right. We'll just work until we collapse and quit."
Lee Jun's wish was to work for a long time alongside good people who understood him. Which meant what they were really saying was that they would be quitting soon. A threat that wasn't quite a threat.
"All right. I'll do it."
Time passed, and the first Lee Jun Day arrived.
Lee Jun sat up and looked at the clock. Seven in the morning. He let out a small laugh and closed his eyes.
"Let's sleep in a bit today."
He decided to sleep until ten and settled back down. Sleep, however, refused to return.
"Lying here when you can't sleep is genuine torture."
He gave up and got out of bed. When he stepped outside, the three of them were playing in the yard.
"Did you all sleep well?"
"Hyung-nim-ong, did you sleep well-ong?"
"Hyung-nim, you up?"
"Hehe, Hyung-nim-ayo!"
The three of them trotted over in a line to say good morning.
"Come on, you lot—time to eat!"
Go Gi-jin came out of the kitchen, spotted Lee Jun, and his eyes went wide.
"Huh? Hyung-nim, you're up already? On a day like this you're supposed to be sleepin' in."
"What about you?"
Go Gi-jin had taken the day off as well, for fear Lee Jun would slip off somewhere to work. So he didn't have to go in either. He set a bowl down at each of the three feeding stations as he answered.
"Me? I slept just fine. If I was still in bed this late, my backside'd be on fire. Hyung-nim, you ever take a hiding from my old man? Stars burstin' in front of your eyes, I swear."
For rural large-animal veterinarians, the day began before sunrise. Lee Jun had watched that life for a month, and he nodded.
"Fair enough. You'd have to be up by four."
"That's what I'm sayin'. Ah, Hyung-nim, what should we eat? Want some of the meat my dad sent?"
"For breakfast?"
"What's the time of day got to do with eatin' meat? Should I get the grill out?"
Go Gi-jin looked ready to start grilling that instant, so Lee Jun shook his head.
"No. Let's just go out to eat."
On the days he rested, Go Gi-jin had to rest with him.
"Yeah? Then how about that hangover-soup place just up the road?"
"Sure. Since it's morning, something like bean sprout hangover soup or dried pollack soup would be nice."
"Sounds good. I'll look one up."
Lee Jun went to wash up, and Go Gi-jin pulled out his phone to search for a restaurant—when the ringtone sounded. It was, as always, the chorus of Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree.
"Yes, Dad?"
Go Gi-jin answered, and Go Panseok appeared on the screen. He had placed the video call because he missed Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree.
"The's the kids?"
"Hold on a second."
Go Gi-jin turned the phone toward the three of them, who were busy eating.
"Heh heh. Look at those rascals. Eatin' well, I see."
That was when it happened. All three turned their heads at once, waving their front paws in greeting at Go Panseok.
"Heh heh, that's it, that's it. You eat up now, you hear! Cute little rascals!"
They waved a few more times, then ducked their heads back into their bowls. Watching them, a broad smile bloomed across Go Panseok's face.
"You rascals."
It meant they were precious. Go Panseok gazed at the three of them with his eyes full of affection, then asked his son,
"You eaten yet?"
"Not yet. It's a rest day today, so I'm goin' out for hangover soup with Hyung-nim."
"That so? Good. A man needs a day off now and then. That's how it ought to be."
Knowing full well that Lee Jun worked without rest, Go Panseok looked genuinely relieved.
"That's what I'm sayin'. He's gotta rest properly."
"Good, then. On a day like today, you take your hyung out for something decent to eat, you hear. Go on and rest properly. You stay home, he'll just head off to work again."
"Got it. But you didn't even ask whether your son's been eatin' well."
"Don't be ridiculous! When have you ever gone hungry? Have you?"
"Still, though. Your boy's livin' away from home."
"Never you mind. You just take good care of Lee Jun. Hear me?"
Go Panseok said it, then added,
"As for you—go buy yourself that cloyingly sweet thing. You know, the coffee with that fancy stuff piled on top."
"Café mocha."
"That's the one. You eat that, you'll be fine."
"Heh heh. Still, the only one who thinks of his boy is his dad, ain't that right?"
"Oh, hush. Go eat already. And you make sure you bring the kids for summer vacation, you hear!"
"There it is. That's why you called, isn't it. All right, I'll tell Hyung-nim—"
Click. Before Go Gi-jin could even finish, Go Panseok vanished from the phone. Go Gi-jin let out a small laugh.
"Dad's adorable, I swear. If he misses the kids, he could just say so and ask us to bring them. But no, he's gotta put it like that."
Go Panseok's blunt words had been packed full of how much he missed Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree—and with worry for Lee Jun besides. When Lee Jun came out of the bathroom, Go Gi-jin said,
"Hyung-nim, should we take the kids along? It's a warm day, and there's bound to be plenty of places we can eat outside."
"Want to?"
Lee Jun went looking for the three of them. They were sprawled out by the living room window.
"You guys want to come out too?"
They already knew he wasn't going to the hospital today. Hoesaegi peeked his head up, then flopped right back down.
"I'm full-ong. Gonna sleep-ong."
"I'm gonna sleep too. It's nice and warm."
When the two of them lay there without so much as twitching, Sapsaree declined as well.
"I'll stay with the hyung-nims, I will."
"All right. We'll be back, then."
Lee Jun listened to them tell him to have a good time, and thought, Yeah. You three need some rest too.
Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree always said they had fun at the hospital, but spending every day packed in among people and animals had to be exhausting. That was why Lee Jun left the three of them at Golmokjib one day a week when he went in. Recently, though, they had come in every single day for nearly two months, without a break.
They came in every day to stay by Teun-teun-i's side, so of course they're tired. And still sad, besides.
Hoping the three of them would rest quietly, Lee Jun and Go Gi-jin stepped outside.
Thud. At the sound of the door closing, the three of them were still sprawled across the living room floor.
"It's warm-ong!"
"Yeah. Nice and toasty."
"It's nice, it is."
They rolled about the quiet living room. From where they lay they looked around the room, then at the trees in the yard, and then they looked up at the sky. A clear blue sky, white clouds drifting in cottony heaps.
"There's something up there that looks like Teun-teun-i hyung-nim-ong."
Hoesaegi was looking at one of the white clouds.
"Where?"
"Right there-ong. It looks like Teun-teun-i hyung-nim is smiling-ong."
Hoesaegi stretched out a front paw as he said it, and only then did Gkamnyangi find it.
"You're right. It does look like Teun-teun-i hyung-nim."
"That's right, it is. That's Teun-teun-i hyung-nim, it is."
And then the conversation cut off. The three of them gazed at the cloud that wore Teun-teun-i's smile, each sinking into their own thoughts, until Gkamnyangi spoke up all at once.
"Teun-teun-i hyung-nim was really wonderful."
"I thought so too-ong. So gallant and proud-ong."
"I liked Teun-teun-i hyung-nim a whole lot too, I did."
They fell quiet again, remembering the time they had spent with Teun-teun-i. This time, it was Sapsaree who broke the silence.
"Teun-teun-i hyung-nim said thank you to us, he did."
"He did say that-ong. He said he was glad he wasn't alone, that we were together-ong."
"Then he wasn't lonely, was he?"
"He said he was glad he could talk with us-ong. Glad he wasn't lonely-ong."
"That's a relief, then... but I don't know if just being there beside him actually helped Teun-teun-i hyung-nim."
At Gkamnyangi's words, Sapsaree answered as if to himself, still lying where he was.
"It would have helped, it would. It helps a whole lot, it does."
He said it, then murmured to himself again.
"I need to say thank you to those ones, but I never got to say it, I didn't."
"Who do you mean-ong?"
"When I was sick and lying down, the cats brought me food, they did. There was even one who sat beside me and worried over me."
"Ohh! Really? What kind souls."
"That's right. Thanks to those ones, I was less scared, I was."
"The cats who found Sapsaree-ong?"
"Seems like it, doesn't it? What good kids they are."
"They're good-ong."
While the three of them were talking about Cheese-nyang's group from Bukhansan Eco Park, Lee Jun and Go Gi-jin were already on their way there.
"That place does a real good bean sprout soup rice."
"Perfect. Let's go say hello to the owner and eat while we're at it."
"Yeah. And we can tell her Sapsaree's doin' just fine."
The two of them arrived at the restaurant that had kept Sapsaree in food during his days living on the mountain.
"Ma'am, it's been a while."
"Oh my, if it isn't you two! Come in, come in. So—how's Smartie? No, wait, it's Sapsaree now, isn't it? Is Sapsaree doing well?"
"He is. Very well. He's getting along just fine, bright and sturdy."
"I'm so glad. Whenever I think back to that time..."
She stopped, and a faint sheen of tears gathered in her eyes. She was remembering Sapsaree's bleakest days.
"He found a good guardian, so it's a relief—no, it's much more than that."
"We're doing our best to take good care of him."
"Oh, how much better could you possibly do? Do you know how much Ttangkhongi's mom praises you two? She goes on and on—says there aren't veterinarians like you anywhere, talking until she's practically spraying."
"Heh heh heh, that's right. Our Hyung-nim takes real good care of 'em."
"You take even better care of them."
"Hoo hoo, just hearing that makes me so happy. All right, what can I get you? I'll prepare it with all my heart."
"Bean sprout soup rice, please."
"Of course."
A moment later, two steaming bowls of hangover soup were set on the table. The broth shone, clear and luminous, garnished with finely sliced scallions and a neat sprinkle of chili powder.
"Whew. Just lookin' at it and my mouth's waterin'."
"It looks amazing."
Lee Jun and Go Gi-jin were smacking their lips, spoons in hand, when a plate landed on the table.
"It's blanched squid. You can dip it in the spicy vinegar-chili sauce, or drop it in the soup—either way it's delicious."
"Oh, is that right?"
"Yes, however you like. You two came all this way and I don't have much I can offer—it's on the house. Please enjoy."
"Ah, no, please put it on the bill."
Lee Jun waved it off, but the owner only told them to eat well and disappeared.
"She's got a real kind heart, don't she? No wonder she looked after Sapsaree."
"She would have, yes."
The two of them ate the soup rice, rich with the owner's care, with genuine pleasure.
"That was excellent. Thank you."
"That was somethin' else. I already want to eat it again."
"Oh my, that's the highest praise I could ask for. Next time, please bring Sapsaree along too."
Through the therapy volunteer visits, Sapsaree had come a long way from the pain of his past. Maybe now he could manage a greeting to the people who helped him back then. He would have to ask Sapsaree, of course—but Lee Jun smiled and answered.
"We will."
Outside, Lee Jun turned to Go Gi-jin.
"Since we've come this far, want to go see those cats while we're here?"
"No, sir. We said no work today."
"That's why I said we'd just look."
"And then if one of 'em's hurt, you'll haul them straight to the hospital."
"...I can't exactly deny that."
Looking at Lee Jun's eyes, which were plainly overflowing with the wish to go, Go Gi-jin burst into a rolling laugh.
"That's what I'm sayin'. If we're goin', at least digest first."
"All right. Let's do that."
The two of them found seats at a nearby outdoor café.
"Ahh. How long has it been since I just sat like this, looking at the sun?"
Lee Jun stretched, gazing up at the sky.
"It's nice."
Go Gi-jin looked up as well. That was when a white cloud drifted into Lee Jun's view.
"That cloud looks like Teun-teun-i. Like he's going hehe, smiling."
"Ah, you're right. That kid... he was so good. So precious."
"He was. Gallant and brave. If anything, he was the one comforting us on his way out."
"He was, at that. So dignified. Didn't cry, didn't fuss."
"Yeah."
By now, surely, Kongdol-i and Teun-teun-i were side by side, getting along just fine. Lee Jun gazed up at the cloud, his eyes full of tenderness.