Until the Last Smile
These days, Ju Mi-seon was living inside a miracle.
Every morning was a miracle. Every day, a blessing.
When she opened her eyes, she had somewhere to be. No — not somewhere she had to be. Somewhere she wanted to be.
The place where Teun-teun-i was. The one she loved so dearly, the one she ached to see. Mongmong Animal Hospital.
Just thinking of it brought a smile blooming across her face.
"I should get up. I need to go to him."
She sat up in a rush and reached for her phone.
There was a notification waiting.
It was from Mongmong Animal Hospital.
A flicker of unease mixed with a flutter of excitement as she unlocked the screen. The unease was the old, familiar dread — that she might open it to news that Teun-teun-i had taken a turn in the night. The excitement was simpler: she would get to see his face.
"He'll be all right."
She whispered the hope into the dark and tapped the screen.
There he was, beaming up at her as if he had been waiting.
A smile found her own mouth as she opened the alert. A photograph greeted her: Teun-teun-i curled on a plush blanket in his hospital kennel, sleeping as peacefully as a well-fed child. And beneath the picture, a short note.
Judging by the phrasing, Dr. Go must have been the one on night duty.
Relief loosened something in her chest, and she spoke to the empty room.
"Teun-teun-i, just hold on a little longer. Mommy's coming."
And then, quieter still:
"Thank you, Dr. Go."
Today, too, she would make a delicious lunch for all those kind doctors.
A little while later, when she stepped out the door, her feet felt almost weightless.
At the hospital she greeted the staff in the lobby, then went straight to Teun-teun-i. Nothing else came first.
"Teun-teun-i. My Banggeul-i, my Smiley, my Teun-teun-i. Did you sleep well?"
She drew his name out long and loving, nickname and all, and Teun-teun-i turned toward her with that round, bright grin — the one that had earned him the name in the first place.
"Aigoo, look at you. So full of energy today!"
A dog wasting away by the day could not, in any honest sense, be full of energy. But the joy on his face when he saw his person — that was exactly as it had always been, back when he was well.
Looking at him, gratitude welled up from somewhere deep in Ju Mi-seon's chest. Gratitude that Teun-teun-i was still trying. Gratitude for the doctors who had made it possible for him to try. And gratitude, above all, for Director Lee Jun, who had made all of this possible in the first place.
"Thank you."
She said it to all of them, to the whole of this place, as she unlatched the kennel door.
Click. Teun-teun-i's head poked out at once.
"Teun-teun-i, you missed Mommy, didn't you? I missed you too. I missed you so, so much."
She sat down, lifted him onto her lap, and simply stayed there for a while.
A gentle warmth spread through her whole body. The ward was kept comfortable, yes — but it was Teun-teun-i's own heat that was warming her.
He felt the same. Nestled in her arms, he let every muscle go slack and gazed up at her, smiling and smiling, that Banggeul-i smile that never seemed to leave him.
"Aigoo, my little Smiley."
"Woof!"
He gave a small bark at the sound of his new name, then grinned even wider.
Watching that open, shining face, Ju Mi-seon smiled just as brightly back.
"That's right, that's right. My Teun-teun-i is the prettiest, isn't he? Pretty and handsome and strong. So strong."
They stayed like that for a good ten minutes, a little island of happiness, before she spoke again.
"Teun-teun-i. You rest here, all right? Mommy's going to work, and I'll be right back."
"Woof!"
He answered with all the spirit he had.
She settled him back into the kennel, smiling. There had been a time when leaving him home alone to go to work had sat on her like a stone. It didn't anymore.
They were in the same building. She could come see him whenever she wanted. And the doctors looking after him were people she trusted with her whole heart.
That alone made her feel as if she had been given the world.
She walked away with that gladness still on her face, and Teun-teun-i's smile did not fade either. Even when his mother was out of sight, he knew better than anyone that they were still under the same roof.
Ju Mi-seon loved this place. She loved Mongmong Animal Hospital, this space that held Teun-teun-i. Perhaps that was why cooking never felt like work at all.
"I hope they enjoy it today, too."
She prepared the food from a place so deep in her chest that it could not possibly have come out tasting anything but good.
Go Gi-jin finished night duty, made his rounds of the inpatients, sat through the morning meeting that started at nine-thirty, and finally stepped into the break room that had been transformed into a dining hall.
In the old days, Jang Sora would have bought bread or sandwiches for whoever had pulled the overnight shift. There was no need for that anymore.
Go Gi-jin packed steaming, freshly cooked rice into a bowl of hot beef-and-radish soup, the steam still curling off both, and spoke around a blissful mouthful.
"Heh heh heh. Chef, this is too darn good."
It was about half past ten, his brunch hour, and he was grinning like a boy.
"I'm so glad you're enjoying it."
"I'm the one who oughta be thankin' you. Without you here, I'd just be skippin' meals or chewin' on bread, y'know."
"Oh, goodness, that wouldn't do at all."
"That's what I'm sayin'. Thanks to you, Chef, I got strength pourin' into me."
He scraped up every last drop, then looked down at the empty bowl with real regret. Another serving and he'd nod off. Getting up and walking away felt like a crime. He sat there smacking his lips, caught in the middle — and then, tap, a plate landed in front of him.
A hotcake, sending up a sweet, warm smell. Instead of syrup, a generous cloud of cream sat on top, scattered with banana slices and toasted nuts. Beside it, a cup of carefully brewed coffee.
"W-what's all this now?"
Go Gi-jin, who had never met a sweet cake he didn't love, went wide-eyed.
"You were up all night, Dr. Go. I thought you might be tired."
Ju Mi-seon smiled, bashful and bright, and in that moment she looked to him like an angel. He had been thinking about cake anyway.
"Well then. I'll eat it up real good."
He took a bite of the hotcake and beamed as if he had been handed the whole world.
"This is too darn tasty."
He had said the soup was delicious, too. But he looked happier now than he had over the rice.
Ju Mi-seon laughed and answered,
"When I have a little more time, I'll make you a proper cake as well."
"A c-cake, too?"
"Yes."
"I'd love that, but it'd be an awful lot of work for ya."
"Work? Not at all. Watching all of you eat well — that's my joy."
She said it brightly, already brewing coffee for the rest of the staff.
The people of Mongmong Animal Hospital were her benefactors. Hers and Teun-teun-i's. Being able to repay them even this much felt like a mercy.
I've been given a kindness I could never repay, not even if I lived to the end of my days.
In the morning she saw Teun-teun-i. She fed the people who had saved him. And then she could be with Teun-teun-i again.
That was her day. That was every day. A string of happy ones.
But she knew. She knew these happy days would not last forever. She knew, quite clearly, that this happiness was extra — a bonus she had never been owed.
And that bonus existed because of the Meongmeong Teachers. Because of how hard they worked.
Lee Jun, checking over Teun-teun-i, turned to her and said,
"Teun-teun-i says he doesn't hurt. He says he feels really good."
The way Director Lee Jun relayed Teun-teun-i's condition — as if the dog himself had spoken — filled Ju Mi-seon with a gratitude she could hardly hold.
It really does sound as if Teun-teun-i just told him he isn't in pain.
It felt, almost, as if she were in the conversation too.
"If my Teun-teun-i isn't hurting, then Mommy's happy. So happy."
She stroked him as she smiled, and Teun-teun-i gave a low, contented bark.
"Woof."
Ju Mi-seon smiled at the sound.
"It feels like he's saying, 'I'm happy too.'"
"Oh? How did you know?"
Lee Jun asked it with a laugh, and she laughed back as she answered.
"My goodness, Director. When you put it like that, it really does sound as if that's exactly what he said."
"It is exactly what he said. He said he's so happy because his mom is right here."
Where in the world was there another director who could warm a person's heart like this?
Ju Mi-seon smiled and spoke — too shy to say it to Lee Jun's face, so she said it as if she were talking to Teun-teun-i instead.
"Teun-teun-i, we're so lucky, aren't we? To have met a director with a heart like this. You think so too, right?"
Once more, Teun-teun-i cried out.
"Woof!"
"Haha. I only help a little. The reason Teun-teun-i keeps finding the strength — that's his guardian. No. Not his guardian anymore. That's our Head Chef. That's you."
Ju Mi-seon looked at him with a face that said, Pardon?
"The truth is, he's very sick."
He meant dogs like Teun-teun-i. Dogs living with chronic kidney disease. She had begged them, once, to keep him from hurting anymore. She nodded, slowly.
"But right now, Teun-teun-i isn't feeling any pain at all."
She could see that for herself. He smiled every day. He looked at ease. Whenever she could steal a few minutes from work she came to see him, and every time, his face was peaceful. Sometimes he was asleep, breathing evenly, sunk deep into rest.
"He does look that way. That's why I'm so grateful to you, Director. To all of you."
Thank you. She could have said it a hundred times a day. A thousand. It would never have been enough.
"It's because you're here beside him. It sounds like a miracle, but it's the truth."
At Lee Jun's words, her eyes filled.
Did he know — this director standing next to her — how much strength lived in a single sentence like that?
"I have received such a great kindness from you. Teun-teun-i has too. From you, Director, and from every one of the doctors here. Thank you. Truly."
And the miracle went on.
Teun-teun-i, who had not been expected to last a week, was still wearing that bright smile more than a month later.
His body, though, grew worse with every passing day. Even she, who was no expert, could see it. He was thinning so fast that the muscle had fallen away, and when he stood, all four legs trembled and swayed. There had been a time when he could manage three walks a day, ten minutes each. Now a single five-minute walk was almost more than he could bear.
Even so, Teun-teun-i still wanted to go. He still wanted to waddle along on those shaking legs.
Watch him force one hard-won step after another, Ju Mi-seon felt the tears gather.
"If it's too much… you can just ride in my arms, and we'll walk that way…"
She swallowed the tears and the wish together. A small, helpless lament.
"Teun-teun-i says he just loves this time. Walking side by side with you, Chef. That's what he said."
Lee Jun, beside her, passed along the words Teun-teun-i had given him.
A few days earlier, Lee Jun had asked the little dog whether it might be better to skip the walks, since they were so hard. Teun-teun-i had answered that he wanted to walk beside his person until the very end.
"I think Teun-teun-i wants you to keep going forward. From here on, too. Always."
"…Kh."
She barely kept the sob from breaking loose, and followed behind him as he walked — so slowly it was as if the film itself had been set to crawl.
She was not the only one at his side.
Hoesaegi, Gkamnyangi, and Sapsaree trailed after him too. Teun-teun-i's sight had grown much worse, and the two cats seemed afraid he might bump into something as he walked; whenever an obstacle appeared they called out a warning, a soft mrrrow. When he sank down where he stood, the cats gathered around him and held him in a warm, furred embrace. Sapsaree did the same.
"It's like they're cheering him on."
They would be doing this even when she wasn't there. She was sure of it. Comforting him. Staying close.
This place, Mongmong Animal Hospital, felt like paradise to her. Teun-teun-i must have felt it too. That, she thought, was why he hurt a little less.
Day by day she watched him weaken, and she prayed.
Teun-teun-i. Please don't be in pain.
Not long ago, looking at him had brought nothing but sorrow. She had pitied him for hurting. She had been sorry she couldn't treat him properly. Sorry she left him alone to go to work. Sorry there was so little she could do. And when he cried because she was sad, that made her sadder still, and sorrier still.
But now there were so many good people around them. Teun-teun-i had found good friends. A dog who had always been alone had companions now — friends who comforted him and stayed by his side.
Perhaps that was why.
She gave his last days everything she had. She watched over him. She cheered him on with her whole heart.
And then, at last, the end arrived.
Hah. Hah. Hah.
Teun-teun-i's breath came short and fast. They were still giving him oxygen, but it was no longer enough to call back a body that was quietly, steadily stopping.
He was shutting down, a little at a time. The cold crept in from his paws.
Ju Mi-seon stroked him.
"Teun-teun-i. My Teun-teun-i. You're so handsome. My beautiful boy. My Teun-teun-i…"
She did not know what she was saying. She only kept calling his name.
"My Teun-teun-i. My smiling boy. My brave Teun-teun-i…"
People spoke of a heart breaking. She understood the phrase now. Her chest, her insides, felt tight and sore and raw.
But she knew. What she was feeling was not even one percent of what Teun-teun-i was feeling. Not even a thousandth of a percent.
Watching him gather the strength of his whole body just to take a breath, she thought she might come apart. To let out a single exhale he had to bear down from the tips of his toes to the last hair on his head. He strained so hard his dark, shining eyes seemed ready to start from his face. His ribs flared as if they might crack, then fell. And that was one breath. Only one.
Even then — even in the middle of all that — Teun-teun-i did not lose his smile. He grinned and grinned, Banggeul-i to the last.
Those round, bright eyes stayed on Ju Mi-seon. He did not even blink, as if closing his eyes for a second would be a waste. He looked only at her.
This is it, then. The very end.
Lee Jun nodded to Yoo Mu-hwan.
Together, the two of them began to take things off Teun-teun-i's body, one by one. The oxygen. The fluids. The pain medication. None of it was any use to him now.
In a moment, he was light. Unburdened.
Lee Jun turned to Ju Mi-seon and gave her a slow nod.
Hold him.
As if he might break, as if he might crumble, she gathered Teun-teun-i into her arms with infinite care.
And then.
Hooo…
Teun-teun-i let out a breath that was utterly easy. After all that struggle, all that labor just to breathe, he breathed in her arms as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
His eyes were still on hers. He had been smiling already — but now he laughed, a small, breathy heh-heh, the sound of pure delight.
"T-Teun-teun-i. My Teun-teun-i!"
Still smiling, he moved his mouth.
A tiny sound. So small. But Ju Mi-seon heard it as clearly as if it had been spoken into her ear.
As the words left him, the light in his eyes began, slowly, to dim.
"T-Teun-teun-i! Teun-teun-i. My Teun-teun-i…"
Her voice rose, calling him harder, because the body in her arms was growing lighter, looser, letting go.
She had been crying out — and then, all at once, she went quiet.
She had heard him bark.
Teun-teun-i barked with a great, open smile. This time it was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
"Wooof!"
And from somewhere, he found the strength to turn his head and look around. He met the eyes of Lee Jun, of the hospital staff, of Hoesaegi and Gkamnyangi and Sapsaree, and he smiled at every one of them, round and bright and full.
Everyone whose gaze he held had tears standing in their eyes.
But no one cried. They smiled back, as openly as he had smiled at them.
When he had given that smile to all of them, Teun-teun-i looked at Ju Mi-seon one last time, and grinned with his whole face.
Then, softly, he closed his eyes.
"T-Teun-teun-i… hh, hhhhk—"
He had kept that smile to the very instant his eyes shut. She gathered him tighter and broke, weeping without any hope of stopping.
"Teun-teun-i. My dog. My Smiley, my Teun-teun-i… You did so well. And thank you. Go on now, my sweet boy… hh, hhhk."
The tears ran and ran and would not stop. But her mouth, like his, was smiling.