No More Zzizzi-Ppong: Natural Over Cringe
"Don't do any of that acting crap." "Ah, Areum? Why all of a sudden...?"
Im Nana looked up at me with big, innocent eyes full of grievance, rubbing her side. Instead of answering, I waved the crumpled script in front of her face.
"Nana, what the hell is this?"
"Huh? It's the script. The one I worked so hard on..."
"I'm grateful you put effort into it, but what is this 21st-century zzizzi-ppong bullshit?"
No matter that it was variety show stuff or just a concept—this crossed the line by a mile. The "Camping Fairy" title was already cringe enough to make me want to die, and now zzizzi-ppong? This had to be a sophisticated assassination attempt to bury me socially.
But Im Nana just blinked, her face saying she had no idea what the problem was.
"But... you like that old-school vibe and old-man stuff normally, right, Areum?"
"...Huh?"
Wait, me?
Sure, I didn't hate it, but...
"No, what are you even..."
"The way you talk normally, your music taste—it's got that retro feel. So I figured you'd love something like this!"
Im Nana said it with such pure sincerity, not a speck of malice on her face.
"......"
Okay, fine, I do like it. I'm a natural-born old man at heart. But I thought I'd never let it show on the outside?
...Where the hell did I slip up?
My head was spinning. I'd thought I was perfectly pulling off the "cool early-20s female camper" act. Was I wrong? Did my tastes, my mannerisms, come off as outdated to everyone else? Was my spiritual pressure... no, my old-man energy leaking out...?
A chill ran down my spine.
"Ah, Areum? What's wrong? You look pale..."
"...It's nothing. Just... a bit shocked."
"Shocked? Is the script that bad? Want me to revise it?"
"No... it's too late now. I'll just do it."
"Yay! Then let's start with makeup! I'll make you look super pretty today!"
Im Nana perked up again and opened the makeup box. I stared blankly at my reflection in the mirror.
Fine, whatever—in for a penny, in for a pound. Fairy or not, let's just get it over with.
With a defeated shrug, I closed my eyes. Im Nana's hands busied themselves across my face.
That's when things got noisy outside the waiting room.
"You're here!"
"Great to see you!"
The staff's booming greetings. The star had arrived.
"All done! Let's go! Looks like the actor's here!"
Im Nana grabbed my hand and pulled me along. The studio door swung open, and he walked in.
"......"
In an instant, the studio air froze solid.
Black leather jacket. Slicked-back hair. Dark sunglasses covering half his face. Two burly managers flanked him like bodyguards.
...This is a broadcasting station, right? No one's dodging loan sharks here, are they?
He was just walking in, but the intimidation was like a debt collector on the prowl. Me... do zzizzi-ppong with that guy? Was this a death wish?
Actor O Seokgyun strode confidently to the center of the studio and stopped right in front of me. I could feel his gaze through those shades.
Gulp. I swallowed dryly.
Then, O Seokgyun took off his sunglasses.
Phew, without the shades, it's better... better...?
Still scary as hell?
He bowed at a perfect 90 degrees and bellowed.
"Hello! I'm actor O Seokgyun! Nice to meet you, Areum. Please take good care of me today—teach me everything!"
"...Pardon?"
I was thrown by the unexpectedly polite greeting. When I looked up, O Seokgyun's face wore a kind, friendly smile.
But... smiling made him scarier. The wrinkles around his eyes looked like knife scars. His mouth curved up, but his eyes weren't smiling... no, they were, but his intense features made it look off. Right?
"Ah, yes... hello. I'm Han Areum."
"I'm a total camping newbie, so I'm counting on you today, Areum. Forgive any mistakes I make."
O Seokgyun was genuinely humble. Every word dripped with consideration. But the gap between his vibe and his looks was too huge—I couldn't adjust. It was like watching a tiger meow.
Shooting prep began, and we sat waiting for the cue. But my heart was still heavy.
Haa... damn it. Camping Fairy...? Is this for real? Just kill me.
Soon, studio recording kicked off. Bright lights hit me, cameras pointed my way.
"Alright, standby! Cue!"
With Yu PD's signal, recording started. Deep breath, pull up the corners of my mouth like practiced.
"Ah, hello, subscribers! Everything camping, your Camping Fairy... Han Areum~!"
...Disaster.
My voice came out so artificial even I got goosebumps. Stiff textbook recitation mixed with forced cuteness—pure eerie dissonance.
"Ho, ho ho..."
I tried laughing it off, but that flopped too. Across from me, O Seokgyun's pupils were earthquake-shaking.
"Yes... today's guest is Chungmuro's premium actor! O Seokgyun~!"
I powered through introducing him. O Seokgyun gave an awkward smile and waved at the camera.
"Nice to meet you. O Seokgyun here."
"Actor, what's the charm of camping to you? For me, that moment becoming one with nature is so thrilling~ Ho ho ho!"
"Ah... yes. Same here."
"Oh my! We click! Zzi... zzi... GRAAAAH!!!"
I clutched my head and screamed. I could sense O Seokgyun's confusion, but no time to care. I couldn't do it! Zzizzi-ppong... anything but that!
"...Cut! Let's pause."
Yu PD's voice was like salvation.
"Huuuugh... s-sorry..."
I bowed my head deep. Here comes the scolding...
"Areum, a sec."
Yu PD approached.
"You seem too tense. Let's take a break and retry."
"Pardon...?"
"First takes always mess up. Calm down and we'll go again."
Yu Minji PD... an angel...!
I thanked her profusely and headed to the waiting room, but detoured to O Seokgyun, who must've been even more flustered.
"Actor, I'm so sorry. This is my first time shooting like this..."
"No, no."
O Seokgyun waved it off with a gentle voice.
"I had killer camera shakes at first too. Couldn't spit out a single line right—got reamed by the director. Just relax."
Tears nearly welled up at his comfort. Who knew such warmth hid behind that fierce face? I stared at him, moved.
Up close, he didn't seem that scary...
Keep looking... maybe I'm getting used to this face...?
Then O Seokgyun cracked a grin to lighten the mood. Lopsided smirk, eye wrinkles deepening.
Hmm... like that psycho serial killer's smile in the movies.
Shiver. Goosebumps raced down my back.
...Never mind. Nope. Smiling makes it worse.
I bowed hastily and backed away.
"Th-thank you. I'll take a quick break."
In the corner of the studio, emergency strategy session: Kim Manho president, Im Nana, Yu PD, and me.
"Hmm... weird? When we camped and turned on the camera, you talked fine and super natural..."
"That was just messing around. This is... work."
"Areum, don't stress. Just be yourself."
Kim Manho encouraged, but easier said than done.
Then Yu PD, arms crossed watching, spoke calmly.
"This isn't camera fright."
"Huh?"
Then what? I hadn't thought it was nerves... just embarrassment...
And from Yu Minji PD's mouth:
"Your acting is just... disastrously bottom-barrel."
"......"
Facts hit like a bone-chilling bomb.
"You freeze up tied to the script. Reading lines verbatim turns you robotic."
Her diagnosis nailed it. Obsessing over stage directions, I lost the flow.
"So what do we do?"
Yu PD pondered, then decided.
"Ditch the script."
"The script?"
"Yeah. Keep the overall flow and key questions, freestyle the rest. Your normal speech."
"B-but it's a show..."
"Better than that robot act by a hundredfold. O Seokgyun's a pro—he'll roll with it."
Confidence shone in Yu PD's eyes.
"You can do it, Areum?"
"...Yes, I'll try."
Yeah, better that way. Beats fairy zzizzi-ppong—way more comfy my style.
Shooting resumed. No script should've tensed me more, but it relaxed me instead.
Deep breath, open mouth.
"Hello, I'm Han Areum—camping, always the same."
My familiar opener melted the tension like magic. Comfortable as slipping into my own skin.
"Today's guest is my camping partner. Actor O Seokgyun, nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you. O Seokgyun."
O Seokgyun looked way more at ease too.
"Actor, do you like camping?"
"Love it. Never been, but... it's a dream."
"A dream? What kind?"
"Y'know... campfire going, fire-gazing with a whiskey. Morning up, forest air with coffee."
O Seokgyun's eyes sparkled boyishly, pure camping longing. Seeing it fired me up.
"Nice... you get it. That's camping's essence."
"Right? Pros connect."
"These days it's all 'glamping' with lights and parties, but real camping's the quiet. Crackling logs, worldly worries gone."
"Exactly! That's what I crave!"
Conversation flowed like water. He'd share dreams, I'd chime in with expert insight (a.k.a. old-man nagging).
"What gear you prepped?"
"Nada. No clue what to buy..."
"Perfect. I'll pick. Tent first..."
O Seokgyun hung on every word like a model student. Adorably earnest, made me chuckle.
"And I'm Rakgurakgu ambassador now? Their field bed's killer."
Smooth PPL segue.
"Aluminum frame—super light, tough. Wanna try?"
Pointed to the Rakgurakgu bed setup. O Seokgyun lay down cautiously.
"Whoa... comfy. Better than my home bed."
"Right? Lay on it myself, signed on the spot."
"Gotta get one. Price?"
"Uh, later..."
PPL lines felt awkward, but his earnest reactions turned it comedic gold. Yu PD flashed OK from behind the camera.
Shooting sailed smooth. Camp grub, fire-gazing philosophy, hype for the site—time flew.
Soon, allotted time up.
"Alright, see you at camp. This has been camping always the same, Han Areum!"
"O Seokgyun!"
"Cut! Great work!"
Yu PD's call ended it.
"Whew..."
Relief hit; grin burst out unbidden. Tension drained, body limp.
Yu PD whispered to camera-holding Kim Seokho manager.
"That expression just now! Captured? Perfect thumbnail."
"Of course, PD."
I leaned back savoring it. O Seokgyun approached for a handshake.
"Areum, that was fun. Pumped for camp now."
"Me too. See you there."
"Yep."
He bowed 90 degrees again and left. Against worries, our chemistry clicked. No, meshed great. This planning shoot? Success bound.
A few days later, D-day camping. Pre-dawn, sun not up. Excited, I hit the station lot.
Today, riding MCN-prepped car with O Seokgyun, Kim Seokho driving. Big-league perks? Flawless.
Stepped out, scanned lot. Far off under streetlight, a man stood. Black long padding coat, hands in pockets—hulking figure.
O Seokgyun?
Happy to approach—then he turned.
I froze solid.
"......"
Not the studio guy. Well, same person, but... hair...
Half buzzed. Not just shaved—sides snow-white clipped, top only left... classic that profession style.
Dawn gloom, black long coat, fierce face, half-buzz.
...Who the hell's he hunting? Me?
"Areum! You're here!"
His booming voice sliced the dawn air.
...What the fuck, scary as shit.