Salty Coffee Revenge and the Gear-Filled Lecture
What the hell? My back felt nice and toasty. No, piping hot is more accurate. Rakgurakgu's electric mat. This thing was a game-changer. Waking up refreshed and warm after sleeping outdoors in the dead of winter? It was so cozy I didn't even want to crawl out of my sleeping bag.
But outside the tent, I could already hear rustling sounds. The staff must have been up and bustling around. No time for more laziness on my end. I unzipped the sleeping bag and stepped out.
"Sleep well?"
The VJ holding the camera greeted me. He'd followed me around all day yesterday, working his ass off. We were basically battle buddies now.
"Yeah, slept great. You too, Director?"
"You bet. It's been forever since PPL gear actually came through like this."
...?
The staff were using electric mats too? How much did Rakgurakgu send over?
And he'd been waiting camera-in-hand right in front of my tent since morning?
"Isn't that camera heavy? Looks massive."
The ENG camera slung over his shoulder looked seriously bulky.
"Haha. It's strapped to my shoulder and arm, so it's not too bad."
The VJ flashed a friendly smile. But the sweat beading on his forehead didn't lie.
Poor guy...
I gave him a sympathetic look for a second before remembering my crucial morning mission. I slipped my hand into my pocket. The crinkle of a small plastic bag. The salt packet I'd set aside after yesterday's vow.
"Has PD gotten up yet?"
"He was up earlier... but he pulled an all-nighter on something and crashed again. Should be out soon."
Right on cue, the staff tent zipper opened. Out shuffled Ha Bong-seok PD with messy hair, clutching a tumbler and slurping through the straw. Morning coffee, no doubt.
Perfect. That tumbler's my target.
Ha Bong-seok PD set the tumbler on the table with a dazed expression.
"Ugh... cold out here. Gotta grab my puffer and come back."
He shivered dramatically and ducked back into the tent.
Opportunity knocks. A once-in-a-lifetime chance. I scanned the area. Staff were busy checking gear. I locked eyes with the VJ filming me.
"Shh...!"
He smirked and subtly shifted the camera angle.
Nice.
Tip-toeing over, I struck like lightning, popping the tumbler lid. I dumped in the salt packet.
Shake, shake, shake. The white powder vanished into the coffee.
Not done yet. I stirred it briskly with the straw to dissolve it. My heart pounded.
Acting casual, I squatted by last night's fire pit like nothing happened.
Hmm... maybe restart the fire.
I pulled a knife from my pocket. My precious new acquisition from yesterday. I picked up a dry twig nearby.
With the knife, time for a featherstick. You shave the twig into feather-like curls to increase surface area for easy ignition—one of bushcraft's basics.
I positioned the blade at the one-third mark on the twig. Slice. Super thin at first, delicate enough to see the wood fibers. The key was not cutting all the way through, leaving curls dangling from the base.
Slice, slice. I felt the blade bite into the wood through my fingertips. Gradually deepening the cuts, shaping it like a flower bud.
"Whoa, never seen that before. Looks like making a flower."
"It's called a featherstick. Lights up easy without tinder."
Heh. Another camping lesson imparted.
I placed the finished featherstick on the ashes and pulled out my fire steel. Even shaved thin, green wood needs patience.
Scrape! Scrape! Sparks flew. After several tries, an ember caught on the thin shavings.
Whoosh. A small flame bloomed. I carefully added twigs, then logs. Soon, the bonfire roared back to life.
As I warmed myself by the flames, the tent zipper sounded again. Ha Bong-seok PD emerged bundled in a thick puffer jacket. The camera director caught on, slyly swinging the lens his way.
Clomp, clomp. He approached the table without a care, plopped into a chair, and grabbed the tumbler.
"Ahh... nothing beats morning coffee."
He stuck the straw in his mouth. One. Two. Three.
Now!
"Pffftthhh—!!!"
A brown fountain erupted from Ha Bong-seok PD's mouth.
"Cough! Hack! Argh!"
He grimaced, sticking out his tongue.
"Wh-what the hell! Who salted my coffee?!"
The brutally salty salted coffee. Had he tasted even a fraction of the peperoncino water agony I'd endured yesterday?
I stared at the fire, playing innocent.
"What's up, PD? Too hot?"
"No, it's... blech!"
Ha Bong-seok PD glared at me. He suspected, but no proof.
Heh. Check the edit later. By then, I'd be long gone.
The salt coffee fiasco blew over, and morning routines kicked into gear. But nothing to do. No food, no missions yet.
What about O Seokgyun?
"Trap pot... my trap pot..."
He'd muttered that and vanished the second he emerged from his tent. Like a zombie or something...
Soon he returned with a sigh.
"Sigh... Areum-ah, bust this time. Just a bunch of starfish."
"Ah, well... that's normal. Yesterday was the weird day."
Even the Sea Dragon King's son couldn't hit jackpots two days in a row? Yesterday's seat dome and octopus were a miracle.
We huddled by the bonfire. My stomach growled. After stuffing ourselves yesterday, hunger hit by morning.
Wonder what we'll order today.
Probably missions for ingredients again? Same old would be boring. Curious what the production team cooked up—then Ha Bong-seok PD approached, still chugging water to kill the salt.
"Areum-ssi."
"Yeah?"
"Heading inland for about an hour. Coming?"
"Inland?"
Sudden mainland trip? Wasn't this a deserted island survival?
"Gotta hit the bathroom. Now or midnight during shift change."
Oh. Bathroom. No facilities on this uninhabited island. Yesterday was fine, but after sleeping... yeah, no holding it. Especially after that spicy food—my lower belly was cramping.
"Can I tag along?"
"Duh, obviously. Shitting here would be a disaster. Comments would roast us."
True. Private land or not, environmental damage backlash. Viewers nitpick that stuff.
"Cool, me too. Perfect timing."
I jumped up.
"My car's old, might drain the battery if parked too long. Need to start it."
"Ah... the Galloper."
Ha Bong-seok PD nodded.
Wait. Did I mention the model?
"How'd you know my car?"
He grinned.
"Binged your YouTube all night. Damn, should've watched sooner."
...All night? This guy pulled an all-nighter on my videos?
"Then you'd have prepped different missions... tsch."
"..."
That's your takeaway? Normal reactions are "Great cooking!" or "Where's that campsite?" or even "Maximus is cute!"
Brain rotted by TV...
Sad case.
"Anyway, let's go. Boat's waiting."
I followed Ha Bong-seok PD to the dock. O Seokgyun stayed to guard tents. Probably just lazy.
We motored to Geoje mainland on the speedboat. Once ashore, everyone split for business.
"Mm..."
Glanced around. Clear?
Dash! Bathroom... where's the damn bathroom?!
After a fierce battle, I washed up at the sink. Mirror me looked wrecked, but damn, felt empty and relieved.
Heading to the public lot. Where'd I park yesterday? Wandered, jogging memory.
There—Ha Bong-seok PD by a vending machine in the corner, sipping canned coffee, on a call.
Parked here too?
He spotted me, hung up.
"You parked this side too?"
"Yeah, other side was packed."
We ended up walking together naturally.
Soon, my trusty Galloper appeared. Rugged olive-green body, boxy design etched with years.
"Whoa... real deal. At least 20 years old, still rolling?"
His eyes sparkled with curiosity. Even among modern cars, Gallopers stand out.
Unlocked, turned the key.
Vroom—! Rattle-rattle-rattle. Tractor-like heavy rumble shook the lot. Old-school charm.
Air it out?
Popped the trunk. Tetris-packed gear spilled into view: tables, chairs, stoves, lanterns, burners, toolbox. My heavy treasures too bulky for home.
Ha Bong-seok PD peered in, jaw dropping.
"...You haul all this normally?"
"Nah? More for actual camping. These are the bulky/heavy ones tough to store."
Casual shrug. But no response. Turned to him.
"..."
He silently scanned each item. Eyes intense. Like a kid in a toy store...
Correction: a pirate spotting treasure.
Bad vibes. That gleam—from yesterday's island mission pitch.
"Uh... PD?"
"These... all usable?"
"Yeah. Regular gear, all maintained."
He turned slowly, smirking darkly.
"...Areum-ssi."
"Yes?"
"Two-day car strategy... no, lecture broadcast. Sound good?"
"Huh?"
Lecture? This was survival camping!
He pointed at the trunk.
"All this gear. Use it on the island."
"...Huh?"
"Plain survival's dull. Your know-how, this equipment—film a camping lecture like your YouTube. Whaddya think?"
"...Huh?"
Bongseok-bongseok... what the actual fuck...?