Fiery Russian Roulette
One bite of Russian roulette octopus. One glance at the night sky. Mmm. This is romance. The savory chewiness of the boiled octopus filling my mouth, the salty sea breeze tickling my nostrils. O Seokgyun and I were silently savoring the camping night. The crackling of the campfire logs played like background music. I wondered if this quiet scene would even work for a stimulating variety show, but since the production crew wasn't stopping us, I decided to just enjoy it.
We'd filled our bellies enough and were lost in thought, gazing blankly at the sea, when O Seokgyun broke the silence with an admiring tone.
"Kuh... Isn't the vibe just perfect? This is camping."
Spot on. He said exactly what I was thinking. Why didn't I say it first? Well...
"Aigoo, you two look so comfy~?"
Because of that guy. Ha Bong-seok PD popped out of the darkness. The one who can't stand seeing performers relax. I'd been swallowing my words, but innocent O Seokgyun had tossed him the bait.
"...PD, let us enjoy some contemplation too. Isn't it great? Sea breeze blowing, coastline right there."
It is great. Except for the cold. No matter how close the bonfire is, winter sea winds steal your body heat away. A chill was creeping up my back. The proper way to winter camp is to eat dinner early before sunset, then crawl into your tent and hunker down in your sleeping bag. But we were working now. The camera's red light was still on, and with no auto-cam, staff were holding them manually.
I glanced over at the staff's base camp. A massive shelter tent, sturdy enough to block the wind completely.
...I wanna crash in something like that sometime.
My dome tent wasn't bad, but without any heating gear, it was still freezing.
Then Ha Bong-seok PD clapped his hands.
"Haha, how about a game before bed? It's the national rule~!"
What kind of logic is that? A pre-bed game as a "national rule"? First I'd heard of it. Did we sign up for a retreat?
As I made a dubious face, he quickly added,
"No penalties, though! Pure rewards—last mission of the night!"
All rewards? Meaning no loss even if we fail? He beckoned, and a staffer hauled over a huge bundle, dropping it with a heavy thud.
"Thanks to Areum-ssi, we scored this PPL! Rakgurakgu's ambitious new product—ta-da!"
He unwrapped it.
What the heck is that? Something I'd never seen. Thick, cushy mattress-like thing.
"An outdoor electric heated mat! Fully charged! Plus, it's a bed substitute with built-in cushioning!"
Whoa. Such a thing existed? I hadn't seen it at the expo—probably a fresh release. Winter camping's biggest enemy is the cold, especially the chill rising from the ground. Hot packs can only do so much. Even stuffing your sleeping bag with them, mornings often mean a runny nose and frost everywhere. But with this? Warm back, full belly—emperor's camping paradise.
Greed bubbled up inside me. Ha Bong-seok PD, who never misses a thing, grinned slyly again.
Ah... that smile. Not your average mission...
Anxiety hit, but the mat's temptation was too strong.
"So, what's the mission?"
"Haha, fired up now? The mission is..."
A table appeared instantly, topped with five mysterious coffee cups. Opaque, so you couldn't see inside—just a straw in each.
"Variety show tradition, right? Gotta do it once. Russian roulette!"
Russian roulette. Primitive, but guarantees fun.
"Knew it'd come... Areum-ah, brace yourself. That stuff's hellish."
"You tried it?"
"Don't ask. Anchovy sauce, vinegar, saltwater... beyond imagination."
O Seokgyun's face turned ashen.
Ha Bong-seok PD explained the rules.
"Special rule! Drink a dud but hold it together—no reaction for 10 seconds or more, and you pass!"
"Uh... what're the contents?"
Just in case. Anchovy? Smell would give it away.
"...Curious?"
"Yes?"
"Better not know..."
...?
"Wanna try?"
"Areum-ah, I'll go first."
O Seokgyun stepped up. Knightly spirit behind that tough face. He picked the center cup with resolve.
"Whew..."
He bit the straw tensely. We all held our breath.
Slurp.
Mysterious liquid went down easy. His brow furrowed... then relaxed.
"Huh? Americano?"
"Success... tsch."
Ha Bong-seok PD sounded disappointed.
...What? This low-tension?
O Seokgyun sighed in relief, patting my shoulder.
"No biggie. Don't sweat it."
Easy for you to say—you won. Four cups left. 50/50 now.
Ha Bong-seok PD grinned at me.
"Now it's truly 50/50! Your turn, Areum-ssi."
I stood at the table. The cups seemed to glare.
Which one? Left? Right?
Men's choice is number one. Wait, I'm a woman now. Last one then? Pointless overthinking—I reached for the leftmost.
"Ahh... of all things..."
He sighed pityingly. My hand froze.
"...?"
I looked—he played dumb. Sneaky psychological warfare.
My chicken instincts kicked in. Not this one...? Or baiting 'cause it's good...?
Couldn't read his weasel face. I set it down, grabbed the second.
"Aigoo... that one too..."
Crack.
This jerk... If not on camera, I'd curse. Every reaction screams dud.
Screw it. Back to the leftmost.
He tsked and shook his head—I ignored it. Trust my gut.
"G-going in...!"
Deep breath. Straw to lips. Cold plastic touch. Eyes shut, sluuuurp.
Liquid rose—no gross smell or taste. Plain water? Or weak tea? Relief flooded. Victory smile as I swallowed.
Whoosh.
Something exploded at my tongue root. Like swallowing hot lava. Intense pain spread everywhere.
Gahhh! What is this! Why so spicy!
Dud. Vile dud. Wanted to spit, scream.
But... 10 seconds.
His words echoed. No reaction, pass. Electric mat. Warm bed. Grit teeth, thinking only that.
Already past 5? Swallow first!
Gulp.
It burned down my throat to my stomach. But real agony now: residue raging on my tongue like fire. Eyes twitched, tears welled. This heat before 10 seconds? Capsaicin pure, or what?
"......"
Silent. Couldn't speak—scream would erupt. Just glared blankly at Ha Bong-seok PD.
Staff watched breathlessly.
"...7, 8, 9..."
His count in slow-mo.
Please... hurry...
"10! Success!"
Thud-thud-thud.
I bolted. Run, Han Areum. Run to live.
"Wha—hey—!"
Staff scattered in panic.
One target: Yeongji Writer, chilling in the corner with banana milk.
I appeared before her. She blinked wide-eyed.
Hands on her shoulders.
"That. Gimme."
"...Hic."
She hiccuped back. No handover? Bloodshed imminent. Snatched the yellow carton.
Gulp gulp.
Sweet, cool milk soothed the blaze.
"Haa... haa..."
Emptied it, panting. Finally, alive.
Ha Bong-seok PD approached, clapping.
"Wow... you held it. Tough stuff."
Genuine admiration. I glared through teary eyes.
"...What was that?"
"Oh, that? Perperoncino..."
Huh? Perperoncino? It was liquid?
"10 perperoncinis steeped for 20 minutes..."
"......"
Damn, no wonder. Just chili oil water. For humans?
He grinned smugly, handing the mat.
"Your prize. Warm sleep tonight."
Took it—pain overruled joy. But hey, got something.
Stuck out my numb tongue, gazed at the stars. Still twinkling indifferently.
Brace yourself. Tomorrow, your coffee gets a salt avalanche.