No Big Deal!
No big deal! For a sadistic Ha Bong-seok PD who seemed utterly devoid of human emotions, he thankfully didn't yell "Start!" right away. He had this smug look like he was graciously giving us time to unpack the tent from the gear bag. And apparently, time to plot our conspiracy—or strategy, as I'd call it. Maybe he was getting cocky since he'd cut the time down to 10 minutes.
"Areum, this is our chance. Looks like Ha PD didn't do his homework on you."
I nodded. But...
"Yeah. Problem is..."
"Huh? What problem?"
Yeah, there was a problem. This was an island surrounded by ocean on all sides. Winter islands soak up moisture. And above all, it was freezing right now. When moisture meets cold, the ground turns rock-hard. In other words, the soil had some serious tensile strength.
I tested it by stomping my foot. Thud. Thud. A dull sound traveled up through my sole. No way a hammer was driving pegs into this.
"Oppa, listen carefully to what I'm about to say from now on."
"Uh, uh? Got it. What is it?"
"Han Areum is a walking jelly."
"...Huh?"
O Seokgyun's eyes went wide. I emphasized it again.
"One more time. Repeat after me. Han Areum is a walking jelly."
"Han Areum is a walking jelly..."
He parroted it back as instructed. But his face still screamed confusion.
"My strength is way below average. Plus, the ground's frozen solid, so if I try hammering, it'll take me all day. Bottom line: you gotta hammer in all the pegs, oppa."
O Seokgyun clearly hadn't grasped the extent of my physical frailty yet. But he nodded anyway.
"How bad can it be?"
"...I'll tell you later. Let's set up the tent first."
Right then, Ha Bong-seok PD swooped in like a ghost.
"Alright, ready to start now?"
Ugh, what a pain. I exchanged a glance with O Seokgyun. Ha Bong-seok PD raised his hand high.
"Three, two, one! Start!"
The second the signal dropped, we moved like a well-oiled machine. First, I spread the tent sheet on the ground. O Seokgyun started hammering pegs into the pre-marked spots. Thank goodness we'd already looped the guy lines on them... If we'd had to tie knots too, 10 minutes would've been impossible. He wasn't saying anything about the pre-tied knots, so I guess he was letting that slide.
Every swing of the hammer drove the pegs deep into the earth. O Seokgyun's raw power was impressive.
Meanwhile, I handled the poles. Whoosh—. I dumped them all out first. Then one by one into the holes... Swish—. Swish—. Thunk—. Thunk—. The only sounds were poles sliding through the fabric and pegs slamming home. Phew, no need for chit-chat.
For the finish, lift the poles into place... And just like that, the first tent stood on its own in the blink of an eye.
"4 minutes 20 seconds!"
One of the staff called out the time. Gasps rippled around us, but no time to relax. This mission was two tents. The first went fast with fresh energy, but the second would slow us down a bit.
"Next one, go!"
I unrolled the second tent.
"Huff... huff..."
As expected, O Seokgyun's stamina was visibly draining in real time. If this were a game, his HP bar would be dropping like he'd stacked five poison debuffs.
"You got this! Almost there!"
O Seokgyun gritted his teeth and swung. But the frozen ground resisted harder with each peg. One bounced right off.
Time kept ticking mercilessly.
"Huff, huff... Areum, my arms are..."
O Seokgyun was on the verge of shutdown. Two pegs left. If I didn't drive at least one, we weren't finishing in 10.
I grabbed the last peg. Raised the hammer high. Tick—. ...'Damn it. Of course...'
Still, it was inching in, bit by bit. O Seokgyun was hammering away on the other side too. Time-wise and stamina-wise, I had to get this one in to squeak by.
We had to succeed! No choice. It'd look kinda ugly, but... okay, really ugly, but this was the only way.
I gripped the hammer short and tight. Leaned my whole body into the peg. Not weight-shifting—more like bracing myself. Here goes. Areum-style secret technique. Tatatatatatatata! Ultimate move: Woodpecker Hammering! Tatatatatatatata—!
I hammered like a maniac. A pretty young woman gripping the hammer and pecking at the peg like a deranged bird. Yeah, I know. It looks ridiculous. I get it!
But how else was I piercing frozen dirt?!
"Go in! Get in there!"
My desperate barrage started sinking it. See? Halfway already! Tatatatatata!
That's when O Seokgyun came over.
"Areum, let me take it."
"Huff... huff... Please..."
O Seokgyun raised the hammer sky-high.
"Hup!"
Wham! One brutal strike crushed the peg's head. It vanished into the ground without a whimper.
"Poles up! Hold the other side!"
"Hyah—!"
We jammed the poles into place the second they stood. Normally it's poles first, then self-standing, then pegs... but the goal was just to stand it up.
"10 minutes! Stop!"
Ha Bong-seok PD's shout halted the timer. I collapsed, gasping. The last peg was perfectly flush.
O Seokgyun flashed me a thumbs-up. I returned a shaky OK sign.
"Hmm..."
Ha Bong-seok PD approached the tent, inspecting it with a weird expression. Where does he learn these faces? Designed to piss people off? He checked the pegs, tarp connections, poles in grommets. Circled the tent once, then stepped back.
"Sigh... That's not it..."
I stared at him.
"...No need for that look. I'm not some sore loser. It was unavoidable. Mission success!"
"Wooo!"
O Seokgyun and I hugged and jumped like idiots. This is what pro campers do! Old pros!
Joy flooded me. But then—a flash in my mind. 'Wait. O Seokgyun's a married man.'
No! Can't wreck a happy home! I shoved him away firmly.
"Areum? What's wrong?"
I straightened my clothes, turning solemn.
"Oppa. I haven't even greeted your wife yet. This kinda behavior isn't right."
"...?"
O Seokgyun's face froze. Ha Bong-seok PD gasped dramatically.
"Wha—Areum?! What the hell does that mean?!"
"H-Hold on! Areum! You cut me off too quick! I get what you meant! But!"
Huh? Cut off? 'Oppa. I haven't even greeted your wife yet. This kinda behavior isn't right.' What's wrong with that?
'Oppa, I haven't even greeted your wife yet (haven't even seen sis-in-law's face), this kinda behavior isn't right (don't wanna be seen as some flirty weirdo. Better bail before misunderstandings).'
"I said it exactly like that. What's the issue?"
Ha Bong-seok PD stomped around, freaking out.
"Whaaaaat?! Seokgyun! I never pegged you for that type! Hitting on Areum?!"
"No, hyung! That's not it! Areum, please finish your sentence!"
O Seokgyun writhed in injustice. The staff were already rolling on the ground laughing.
"This is driving me crazy! For real!!!!!!"
O Seokgyun's wail pierced the uninhabited island sky.
Thankfully, the misunderstanding cleared up. After O Seokgyun tediously explained my words, he finally shook off the false accusation.
I glanced at him sitting on a small rock nearby. ...Whew. Totally burned out.
Ha Bong-seok PD shuffled over, looking beat.
"...Why am I the exhausted one? Here. Mission success—fire steel and coppol set. Honestly, didn't think you'd pull it off."
I hugged the coppol, flashing a victor's smile.
"A camping YouTuber who can't pitch a tent? Unthinkable. Heh."
"Haa... Not usually like this, but taking 10 minutes break! Everyone, rest!"
At Ha PD's call, staff dropped gear and relaxed. I plopped down by the tent, catching my breath. Whew, killer move after so long—tough.
Then Ha Bong-seok PD sidled up slyly. 'Crap... gonna get chewed out for that weird comment earlier?' Didn't mean to, but I caused trouble. Yeah. Pro scene—braced for a scolding...
"S-Sorry about earlier..."
"Whoa! Areum! You've got real talent? Ever thought of doing variety instead of YouTube?"
"Sure... Huh? What?"
"How'd you come up with that reaction on the spot? Most pros couldn't. Kyaa~ Seokgyun's panicked face was gold. Ratings jackpot!"
...Not a scolding—praise? How much does this guy love others' misery?
"Uh... haha..."
"Right? Let's keep doing shows together~ I'll talk to the boss! With your skills, stardom's instant!"
Way too hyped... Oh, right...
'Ha PD will definitely push more variety with you. "You've got talent, you'll blow up quick, you're my persona"—sweet-talk like that. With honey-dripping eyes.'
Boss's warning hit me. Yeah, Ha Bong-seok PD's gaze was overly intense... And what else...?
'That's the crisis. Endure that moment.'
...Sounded like married-guy advice on proposals. So this was it?
'Dozens fall into Ha PD's box. But over time, they get influenced—screws loosen one by one. Not bad, though. All good folks with solid character. But y'know? Big bodies, kid minds... Ahem.'
Ha PD patted my shoulder, ramping up the temptation.
"I'll take real good care of you. Yeah? Anywhere you wanna travel? Japan? Europe? Southeast Asia? Just say! Free trip, healing variety with camping!"
Ugh, like I'd fall for th—wait. Camping?
"Camping... trip..."
"Exactly! Rent an RV, cross America?! BBQ by the Grand Canyon, staring at epic rock mountains! Kyaa~ Pure romance!"
"RV... Grand Canyon... BBQ..."
Sorry, boss. This is my limit.