Subtly Irritating People at 4 AM
4 AM. The West Coast Expressway lay shrouded in darkness. An old Galloper rattled along it, the vibrations buzzing up through my seat and into my butt.
I'm so freaking sleepy...
A yawn stretched my jaw wide open. Why the hell was I putting myself through this misery at the crack of dawn? Simple reason: the fluffy white cotton ball snoozing peacefully in the passenger seat cage next to me—Maximus.
This trip was a 2-night, 3-day uninhabited island survival camp. Glorified as "camping," but really just brutal winter training. No matter how healthy and spirited Maximus was, I couldn't drag a puppy just a few months old to a barren island battered by icy sea winds. Leaving him home alone wasn't an option, and asking Im Nana again felt too guilty. So the only idea that popped into my head... was dropping him off with Grandpa in Mokpo.
After wrapping up the Geumjeongdo shoot, I'd swing by naturally, stay a day or two, say hi, mooch some meals, and pick up Maximus. Sure, it cost me my beauty sleep, but worth it.
"Once we hit Geumjeongdo, we're stuffing our faces," I muttered.
This shoot's director was none other than the infamous Ha Bong-seok PD. Did they think I didn't know broadcast folks, especially variety PDs? No way there's food waiting when we hit the island. They'd skimp on even a sip of water, preaching "real wilderness." So to survive, I had to eat now. The second we arrived, I'd cram until my gut burst.
6 AM. Past the Mokpo toll gate, onto the familiar country road.
Screeech—the side brake engaged, and immediately, a racket erupted from the yard corner.
"Woof! Woof! Bark bark!"
Alexander III. Good to see you healthy. That excited?
Alexander III yanked his leash taut, barking ferociously.
"Woof woof bark bark woof woof meeeeoowww bark bark grrr bark bark!"
...Is that a welcome? Tail's wagging, but those bared teeth look suspicious.
I opened the car door and stepped out. The front door swung open, and Grandpa emerged.
"Well now~ Our baby's here?"
Even at this hour, he was neatly dressed. Probably waiting up since I called.
"Grandpa! I'm here."
"Yup, yup. Tough drive, eh? Drove safe?"
"Of course. Brought Maximus too."
I opened the passenger door and hauled out the carrier. Maximus, freshly woken, wriggled and wagged.
The second I unlatched the door, the white fluffball shot out like a bullet.
But he didn't head for me. Or Grandpa.
"Ang! Ang!"
"Bark! Bark!"
Maximus bolted straight for Alexander III. The beastly barker turned into a meek lamb in an instant, tail swishing.
They sniffed noses, greeting each other wildly. Like war buddies reuniting after a decade.
"...Huh?"
I stared blankly.
"Were they... always this close?"
Last visit, baby Maximus stayed indoors, Alexander chained outside. Barely crossed paths.
Grandpa clucked his tongue and chuckled heartily.
"Aw, tsk. Here's the thing. That Alexander rascal sneaks in whenever the door cracks, steals Maximus's snacks from the living room, got caught red-handed."
"...What?"
"And get this—Maximus don't even bark when his food's snatched. Shares it nice-like? That's how they bonded."
"......"
Speechless.
Alexander III. So that's why you're chained up. Guard dog my ass—you were playing cat burglar, swiping puppy chow?
"Heh, unbelievable..."
Grandpa eyed my dumbfounded face.
"Shoot ends day after tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah. Probably wrap by evening. But..."
I trailed off.
"First time doing variety like this. If there's drinks after... might not make it till next morning."
Broadcast folks love booze. Ha Bong-seok PD and O Seokgyun—total boozehound faces. No way they'd let us off easy.
"Aw, don't fret. If they offer grub, chow down without thinkin' of this old man. I'll mind Maximus fine."
"Haha. Got it. See you soon."
Quick hug with Grandpa. Warm, solid embrace.
"Alexander. Play nice with Maximus, no bullying."
Wave to the pups, back in the car. Time for the real battlefield.
Floored it toward Geumjeongdo.
10 AM. Geumjeongdo arrival.
One hour till muster. Once on the island, who knows when food? Hell, might not see a grain of rice.
Stuff now. Hearty, long-lasting fuel to fill the tank.
What hits the spot...
Burger? Nah, burns quick. Pasta? Too heavy. Meat? Grilling at breakfast feels off.
Pondering the street, a faded sign caught my eye.
Original Grandma's Sundae Gukbap
"...Perfect."
Gukbap. Just the name fills you up. Hot broth, rice bowl mashed in with pickled radish—hold me till breakfast tomorrow? Carbs and protein harmony.
Parked, headed to the shop. Close to the pier muster spot too.
Slurp it down quick.
Licked my chops, pushed the door.
Slide—
"Hello..."
My cheery step froze.
The shop vibe was off. Morning rush, packed with folks.
But these people...
"......"
Black puffer jackets. ID badges on necks. Walkie-talkies and camera gear on tables.
Familiar faces.
...Crew?
All 20-odd customers: Ha Bong-seok PD's staff.
Silence crashed down.
Spoons paused mid-bite, eyes locked on me at the door. Lighting director, writer grabbing radish—all froze, staring.
Throat tightened.
Wrong place. Run.
No way food goes down in this awkward air. Backing up for the handle—
"Huh? Areum?"
Familiar voice from a corner table. Turned: Ha Bong-seok PD, spoon of gukbap poised.
Eyes met.
"......"
"..."
His eyes narrowed. He rose slowly, sauntering over.
That sly grin. Bad vibes.
"Areum? Gukbap, huh?"
"Ah... yeah. Hi, PD."
Awkward bow.
"Uh, y'see... island bound, so... filling up..."
Excuses tumbled out. Why justify my own damn meal? But his vibe crushed my voice low.
He snickered.
"Why the stutter? Folks might think I'm the food police~."
"......"
You know damn well.
I shot back inwardly. Outward: awkward grin.
"Haha... no way."
"Exactly. Gotta eat to live. Dig in plenty. Might not get a chance inside."
...See? Told ya.
Bone-chilling words. Instinct right on.
Then, writer next to him jumped up. The folder-apology one from before.
"Areum! Sit here. We hogged everything—no solo spot."
"No, it's fine. I'll find another—"
"Nah! PD's opposite is free!"
She beamed, pulling the chair.
...Yeji, you got beef?
Worst seat ever.
Under staff stares, I shuffled like cattle to slaughter, plopping opposite PD.
"Auntie! One special sundae gukbap here!"
PD ordered for me. Special, even. Thanks, but gonna choke.
Soon, steaming bowl arrived. No spoon-lifting guts.
Glanced around: 20 staff peeking mid-meal. Zoo monkey vibes.
All here to film me...?
Shoot's scale hit home. Leagues beyond personal streams—manpower, gear. Pressure crushed shoulders.
PD opposite picked his teeth leisurely, eyeing me.
Couldn't take the silence. Say something.
Scooped gukbap, ventured:
"Um... PD."
"Yeah? Shoot, Areum."
"I know zilch about TV... mind some questions?"
"Go for it. Ask away."
He propped his chin, relaxed.
Something sparked—defiance. I'm a creator now. Can't cower forever.
Plus... business aside, 2 nights 3 days rolling in muck with these folks. Needed to loosen up. Not buddies, but less tense.
"Oh, drop the formal with me too. You banmal Seokgyun oppa, looks weird just with me..."
Done speaking—his brow twitched. Dropped toothpick, leaned in.
Eyes gleamed.
"Whoa, for real? No regrets?"
"......"
Chill down spine.
Regrets? What? Slave-driver declaration?
Bad call?
Swallowed hard. Words out, can't reel 'em.
"...Yeah. Casual it is."
His face lit up. Grinned wide.
"Cool? Banmal then? Areum, gukbap's cooling. Chow down."
"...Sure."
Seamless switch—infuriatingly smooth.
"So, what's bugging ya? Spill. Got some deets to share anyway."
Gulped water, asked.
Spoon down, unleashed questions.
"Not my moves—just broadcast system stuff..."
"Hit me."
"All these staff on for 2 nights 3 days? Island too?"
Biggest wonder. 20 on "uninhabited" island? Just a company trip.
He nodded.
"Thought it through, huh? Killer question."
Folded fingers, explained.
"Not all going. Boat's small, plus 20 inside? Flea market, not survival."
"Then?"
"Shifts. 10 essentials on island, rest wait on big nearby isle or mainland, rotate."
10. Still a crowd.
"Those 10... sleep on island?"
"Duh. Tent up, crash together. We survive too."
"Ah..."
"Key bit."
Face serious.
"Everyone hits island, cams roll 24/7. Even sleep—fixed cams on."
24-hour watch. No hiding.
"Chat with staff okay? Or invisible?"
Variety shows: cast only talks, staff ghosts.
He snickered.
"Talk? Go wild. Bored? Chat, joke. Fishing 'Ugh, no bites~ This edible?' Fine."
"Phew, good."
"But."
Index up.
"Zero help."
"......"
"No ramen strand. No tent aid, no fire. You handle it. Staff? Talking CCTVs."
"True survival."
"Yup. That's real. Emergencies or real danger? Intervene. Whining hunger? Nope."
Sipped broth, continued.
"Secret... but newbie special."
Voice low.
"Just survive? Dull. Missions midway."
"Missions?"
"Quizzes, treasure hunts. Win? Supplies."
Supplies... prepared big.
"Like... food?"
"Ramen, cans, kimchi... knife, whatever."
Hope glimmered. Not total ground-zero. Nail missions, eat well.
"Manageable?"
Sly smile.
...Wanna deck him.