Discharge from the Hospital
It was cold.
A chill brushed against my cheek.
When I lifted my head, snow was falling.
Thick, dark clouds hung overhead, and the snowflakes drifted down in small, gentle flurries—barely more than raindrops at first, each one delicate and faint.
“Whoa, it’s snowing,”
the hospital shuttle driver muttered, the one who had been loading my bag into the trunk.
“You have to be extra careful on days like this. Your bones are still weak, and one wrong step could be dangerous. Got it?”
A doctor who had come out to see us off spoke with genuine worry in his voice.
I gave a small laugh and nodded.
The moment I closed my eyes, the car pulled away.
The snowflakes grew a little heavier in the meantime, and more of them streaked across the windshield.
I listened to the soft patter of snow as the vehicle entered the tunnel right in front of the hospital.
The inside of the car grew dark all at once.
Looking out the window, I caught a faint reflection of a woman.
Shoulder-length hair that reached down to her middle.
Round eyes and fair skin.
Smooth curves that looked natural on her body.
A perfect, beautiful woman.
Exactly as she had always been, it seemed.
No flaws at all.
She was simply, perfectly fine.
I turned my head.
Outside the window, she turned hers too.
When I showed my chin, she showed hers.
When I touched my hair, she did the same.
I could never see her closing her eyes.
If I closed mine, she closed hers too.
The same face.
The same expression.
The same clothes.
Me. The same me.
I blew on the glass to fog it up.
Across from me, her face fogged too.
The car exited the tunnel.
Slushy tire tracks wound across the road like dark lines.
My breath had already cleared from the glass.
But the reflection outside had not gone away.
It was still daytime, after all.
The scenery beyond the window was, as always, ordinary.
People walking slowly under umbrellas.
A red intercity bus passing by.
Majestic buildings and glowing signs.
Always the same view, no matter the season.
I closed my eyes.
On the day the snow fell strangely hard, I fell.
I still don’t know what happened.
All I remember is the unbearable pain that swept through my whole body.
White, beautiful snow covering my fallen face.
Then, the snow melted completely.
Budding leaves covered the hospital windows, lush and green.
Under that melting snow, my face looked completely different from before.
Lee Soo-rim.
The name I had carried my entire life as a man—and would have continued to carry, had I stayed that way.
I,
had become a woman.