You're not desperate enough.
You're not desperate enough.
To copulate with the one who killed my family and loved ones.
There was nothing in this world I'd rather not do more than that.
However....
For me, who had repeated countless Regressions, it was an incredibly tempting offer.
Having to watch my loved ones die countless times was an incredibly painful experience.
And when I regressed again at the end of it all, getting back up was always arduous.
"...I accept."
To refuse the offer, I was already too worn out and broken.
"Good. However... I will always allow sparring-concept battles."
"Then right now."
"No. At least apply after your body has healed. If you challenge me in your current state, you'll just break another bone somewhere."
As Bersia said, my body was a mess right now.
Even after receiving treatment, my injuries must have been severe, because just moving my body slightly brought on excruciating pain that made my head spin, and the spot where I was hit yesterday still throbbed.
"...Once my body heals, I'll challenge you then."
"Do your best to kill me, Rubel."
With those words, Bersia rose from her seat.
"I'll take my leave now. If I'm with you while you rest, you won't be able to properly relax due to discomfort."
Bersia's voice, which somehow contained a strange softness.
But to me, it was merely the voice of an enemy I had to kill.
I clenched my fists, trying hard to suppress the boiling rage.
I didn't know if it was for my sake, but Bersia retreating was a good thing for me.
"......Go."
"Alright. See you again later. As for your meal... I'll leave it outside your door, so eat it when you're ready."
Click.
As Bersia left, the door closed firmly.
As soon as the door closed, fatigue washed over me.
The tension that had built up had released, and more than anything, it was because I hadn't slept properly earlier due to the nightmare.
"...Damn it."
I took out a pill from my bag and looked at it for a moment.
It was a sleeping pill that Priel, an elf who used to be my comrade, had given me.
"—If you can't sleep, it'll affect your combat. Take this and get some good rest, okay?"
Priel, who always worried about me and said such things, died with her upper and lower body severed by Bersia's sword.
How could I sleep peacefully after witnessing the death of such a comrade?
In the end, I couldn't take the pill and put it back in my bag.
It was so I wouldn't forget the deaths of my comrades and would constantly remember them.
To keep burning the hatred for Bersia, who killed those precious to me.
Even if my body burned to ashes to the very end, I had to kill Bersia.
Because amidst tens of thousands of deaths and Regressions, only that remained.
"...Keuk."
A little blood trickled from my mouth because I had overexerted myself earlier, but I pushed myself up, grabbed my sword that Bersia had left, and swung it.
It wasn't as bad as before, but every time I moved, it felt like my bones were being crushed.
Blood flowed from my nose, and my body creaked with excruciating pain, yet...
I didn't stop.
"—Hey, don't make that face.... You and I are rivals, aren't we? Hurry up and kill that Demon King, then come brag to me......"
I clenched my sword tightly, remembering Beryl, who had a large hole in his chest but smiled until his last breath.
"—Don't be sad.... Everyone has an end to their story, don't they? Rubel, yours isn't over yet... so you have to keep going. Right...?"
I thrust my sword forward, remembering the kind Priel, who worried about me even when she knew death was upon her.
"—I'm sorry.... The promise to live happily ever after together, *eup*.... I regret that I couldn't keep it.... I truly, truly wished for it......"
I swung my sword, remembering Gwen, who genuinely regretted not being able to keep a promise she had made as a joke.
"Hwaaaaaaah——!!"
All of them were comrades who sacrificed themselves for me.
That's why I must keep enduring and living, endlessly.
I must live desperately, solely to kill Bersia.
'Oh, gods.'
Even if it's just to ensure the sacrifices of my precious comrades aren't in vain.
'Please help my weak self to kill that Demon King... help me not to crumble under any circumstances.'
***
Three days later.
Feeling that my body had recovered significantly, I immediately went to find Bersia.
"Bersia. I request a spar."
Bersia raised her head and looked at me with her characteristic hollow eyes, then asked.
"Is it a regular spar? Or is it a real battle where you use the opportunity to kill me?"
"I know I am still very lacking. So, I request a regular spar."
"Good."
Bersia slowly rose from her throne, gripping her sword, and approached.
Even though she had merely drawn her sword, I could feel a surge of magic so potent it made my entire body tingle.
"......Since it's a spar, I'll concede the first move. Begin."
"Alright. If that's the case......"
The pressure was crushing my body, but I drew my sword.
Because there was no turning back anyway.
"Let's begin."
As I had practiced until now, I gathered magic and then swung my sword.
The sword swung like a flash of light.
However, Bersia easily blocked the sword with a mere twist of her wrist.
Her feet remained fixed in place.
"Is this all?"
"It hasn't even begun yet......!"
I hadn't expected to defeat Bersia in a single blow.
Since there was no way I, a mere human, could win against Bersia, the Demon King, in a power struggle.
I decided to go for a speed battle.
"Heup......!!"
After retrieving the magic I had imbued in my sword, I poured it into my body.
Then, my body became light as air.
Although directly channeling magic into my body caused some pain in my not-yet-fully-healed body.
It wasn't unbearable, so I moved quickly and began to swing my sword.
Kaaang! Kang! Kaang!
Thanks to pouring magic into my body, my speed had clearly increased.
However.
I still couldn't reach Bersia.
Even though Bersia wasn't using her released magic, it was still the same.
"......Is this your swordsmanship, acquired through tens of thousands of Regressions?"
Bersia lightly parried my sword and said.
"It's utterly pathetic."
"Shut up...!"
Kagagagak——!!
"Is your desire to kill me only this much?"
"Didn't I tell you to shut up!!"
"You lack desperation, Rubel."
I lack desperation?
I regressed tens of thousands of times to kill the one who brutally murdered my comrades, my family....
And that's not enough?
"Bersia——!!"
Kaang!
I swung my sword with all my might, fueled by rage.
But this time too, it was easily blocked.
My sword simply couldn't reach Bersia.
"Do you not want to admit it, Rubel?"
"I've regressed tens of thousands of times and wasted countless hours just to kill you. You, who knows that best, dare to tell me I lack desperation?!"
"...I can."
Bersia asked in a voice tinged with deep weariness.
"Rubel. How far have you gone in your attempts to kill me?"
"There were days when my bones broke during training. Yet, I continued to swing my sword. I trained until my bones shattered, solely with the determination to kill you...! And yet, you...!"
"I... killed a comrade I cherished."
At Bersia's words, I momentarily stopped swinging my sword.
"...What?"
"I killed my comrades to achieve what I desired. I killed a precious lover, one whose heart I couldn't convey my feelings to even if I gave them the whole world. It wasn't that I didn't love them; it was because it was something I had to do."
Bersia, who had been continuing her story, slowly closed and then opened her eyes, asking.
"Rubel, let me ask you again then. Do you possess as much desperation as I do?"
I couldn't bring myself to speak.
I wanted to say that I did, but I hadn't done such things.
Just how desperate must one be to do such things?
I couldn't understand Bersia.
"......Bersia. May I ask one question?"
"Speak. I will answer within the bounds of what I can."
"After going to such lengths, did you ultimately achieve what you desired?"
At my question, Bersia was silent for a moment before opening her mouth.
"......It is in the process of being achieved. However, it still seems very far off."
"Ha...! So, after all that, you still couldn't achieve what you desired?"
"That is correct."
Hearing that answer, rage surged within me again.
If something couldn't be achieved even after going to such lengths, then it was impossible from the start.
Yet, she hadn't let go and kept doing such things every time she regressed.
"Bersia. I will not become a monster like you."
"...Let me tell you in advance that it won't be easy. I thought the same, but... at least once in a lifetime, a moment will surely come when you must become a monster."
"Even if that's the case... I will remain human. Unlike you, who killed everyone by your side and became the Demon King."