The Troublemakers (1)
"I've been wondering about this for a while, but how do you cast soundproofing magic on a carriage?"
"It's a magic engraving, obviously."
So that’s a thing. "Then is deflecting tracking or detection magic also an engraving?"
At my naive question, Sion slapped his forehead as if he found me exasperating. A deep sense of fatigue washed over his face. 'You know every single one of my secrets, yet you don't know common sense like this?' I could read his thoughts just by looking at his expression.
"Are you serious? That’s because it’s coated in Black Obsidian."
"Black Obsidian?"
"An anti-magic material. Don't tell me you don't know that?"
Ah, back on Earth, that’s just a piece of volcanic glass, but here, it seems to be used as an anti-magic material. I nodded indifferently, pretending I hadn't known.
"Didn't know. Anyway, I can tell this carriage is a piece of junk compared to the Goss Trading Company's carriage."
"...What?"
Sion’s eyes narrowed. He looked genuinely offended. "The one I used to ride was slathered in Black Obsidian. You should know that, too."
"Take that back. What you just said."
Sion’s voice dropped low. This guy, he’s serious. I let out a snort.
"Take what back? Even the wheels were made of Black Obsidian."
"That’s just a waste of money by ignorant nouveau riche! The precision of our Information Guild’s technology is far—!"
I don't know why a guy with slit eyes has so many buttons that get pushed so easily. I lightly ignored his sputtering and changed the subject.
"Yeah, yeah. I get it, so just practice your reloading properly. You’re supposed to be a psychic, so why are you slower than me? Don't strike a pose and just teleport the ammo."
"Moving objects is difficult."
"Then how did you move the potions when you had that scuffle with me?"
"That was..."
"Don't tell me, before you came into my room, you lined up the potions neatly in front of the door before you stormed in?"
"......."
"Are you serious?"
Sion’s lips trembled, and in an instant, his ears and neck turned bright red. Seeing him unable to deny it, it must have been true. My god. The guy who kicked the door open while striking every pose in the book had been crouching outside the door, lining up potion bottles in a row until just a moment before. I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh at the sheer absurdity of it.
"The executives of the Information Guild aren't much, are they?"
"......It’s called thorough preparation. Spatial leap requires precise coordinate calculation."
"Alright, alright, you meticulous bastard. I'll give you time to line up your bullets prettily before we fight later, so don't cry and just practice reloading."
Sion huffed and puffed, clearly furious, but he couldn't bring himself to retort. Click-. The chamber of the double-barrel shotgun in his hands opened with a crisp metallic sound. For a while, only the sound of precisely fitted metal parts filled the carriage. After a few days of travel, the vibrations ceased, and the carriage came to a halt. We had arrived. In the lawless city of Salem.
A gathering place for human trash located in the northwest of the Empire. A true lawless zone that the Empire had given up on, where administration was completely paralyzed because every new lord appointed was murdered.
"We have arrived."
Leaving the coachman's low voice behind, Sion and I stepped out of the carriage. The smell of blood and rotten filth pierced our noses. The scene that greeted us as soon as we got off the carriage was quite a spectacle. Two men holding machetes were tangled up on the street like beasts, fighting for their lives.
"Look at how savage this is. The capital's security is definitely better."
"Shut up and just follow me."
Just as Sion was about to lead the way, clearly irritated, the guy who had won the bloody fight just moments ago turned toward us with a face covered in gore. He scanned the carriage and our appearance, then tightened his grip on his blood-dripping machete.
"What's this? Some greenhorns I've never seen before. Hand over everything you've got and get—!"
Sion sighed and prepared to clench his fist, but I was faster.
Bang—!
The acrid smell of gunpowder instantly smothered the stench of filth. At the same time the revolver's muzzle spat fire, the kneecap of the guy who had been brandishing his machete was shattered to pieces.
"Aaaaaaagh!"
"Get lost. We're busy."
No sooner had I finished speaking than the trash of Salem, who had been filling the streets, parted to both sides like a receding tide. The greedy gazes that had been flashing like they were eyeing prey just moments ago buried themselves into the ground the moment they saw the smoking piece of iron in my hand.
"Definitely, this neighborhood is great because people understand reason well."
I walked across the blood-soaked street with ease. Sion clicked his tongue as if he were sickened by the sight of me adapting to this insane city as if I were breathing.
How many times did we turn through the blood-soaked alleys? Sion, who had been leading the way, finally stopped in front of a building that was as gloomy as could be.
[Fixer Dopang - Upfront payment required. Life not guaranteed.]
A sign scrawled crookedly in dark red paint—or perhaps blood. There was even an unidentifiable bone fragment dangling from the half-broken door handle. I asked Sion with a serious face.
"Is this the right place?"
"Yeah."
"No, no matter how I look at it, this doesn't seem like it. Isn't this a place where they harvest organs? Isn't there anywhere else?"
"She's a collaborator of our Information Guild. Stop the chatter and just go in."
As if to pay back the grievance he’d suffered all day, Sion shoved my back mercilessly and threw the door open.
Creeeeeak-. As soon as the old door opened, the foul stench of stale cigarettes and cheap perfume assaulted my nose.
"Yo. Welcome."
The interior was cleaner than I expected. No, "clean" wasn't enough. It was completely empty, without a single piece of furniture or item inside.
"I am the fixer, Dopang."
Standing in the middle of the empty room to greet us was a woman wearing a masquerade mask and a pitch-black tailcoat. The long, swallow-tail back and exaggerated gestures. It was a bizarre yet antique outfit that looked like it belonged on a theater stage where the curtain had just risen. It was a hell of a "concept" that didn't fit the blood-soaked alleys of Salem at all.
"Approved."
I could tell at a glance she was a veteran. In this business, if you can maintain such an insane concept and still be alive, it means you possess the martial prowess not to be trifled with, or ability equivalent to it.
"Hmm? Approved, you say. What do you mean by that?"
While the woman tilted her head, Sion couldn't wait and cut in. He pulled a thick paper envelope from his pocket, tossed it to her, and said,
"I have a request. It's not particularly difficult, just finding someone in this city."
The corners of the woman who received the envelope—the fixer, Dopang—curled up.
"Hoho... Are you a gentleman from the Information Guild?"
Shing-. A sharp blade popped out from the long-extended sleeve of Dopang's tailcoat. With elegant hand movements, she broke the seal of the envelope and examined the contents. Inside were papers packed with Tangbun’s montage, as well as his expected movement paths and preferred luxury items.
Sion crossed his arms arrogantly and presented the conditions.
"The upfront payment is 50 gold. Another 50 gold upon completion of the request."
"That's expensive? For a back-alley errand service, the markup is too high."
At my grumbling, Sion’s brow furrowed sharply.
"I'm the one paying for the request, so why are you complaining, you lunatic?"
"Puhahahat! Certainly, my price is a bit high."
Dopang seemed to like the tension between the two of us, as she burst into laughter, clutching her stomach.
"I'm telling you. It's too much. Why take double the annual income of a commoner for one request? Give us a discount."
"Fu-hehe. You’re a funny gentleman. Fine. The upfront payment is 50 gold. For the remaining balance after the request is complete, I’ll accept the request in exchange for a date with the complaining gentleman here. How about that?"
Dopang’s long, slender finger pointed exactly at my chest. I had no intention of saving Sion’s money, but if I could save 50 gold with one date, that was a different story. I opened my mouth readily.
"Sounds good."
"Are you out of your mind?!" Sion shouted in horror.
"Why? I'm saving you 50 gold. If you're grateful, you can give me 10 gold as a commission later."
"That’s not the problem! In Salem, a date is...!"
"50 gold isn't the name of some neighborhood dog. I'm just going to pay with my body, so just know that."
What’s so special about a date, anyway? At my firm answer, Sion slapped his forehead as if he were going crazy, and Dopang happily tucked the envelope containing the 50 gold upfront payment into her bosom.
"You are truly a bold gentleman. Fine. Leave the stage for finding this old man entirely to me."
Whether Sion was about to collapse while clutching the back of his neck or not, Dopang chuckled and declared the perfect transaction complete. Leaving Dopang behind as she disappeared while dancing and humming, we went to find a place to stay. However.
"10 gold a night. Bedbugs and rats are a bonus."
Rejected.
"1-day stay? We have a 10-day minimum! It starts at 50 gold."
Rejected.
"We do have one room left, but... you have to sleep with it. A corpse."
Rejected. Rejected. Rejected.
The inns of Salem were a trinity of terrible hygiene, murderous price gouging, and innkeepers who were always looking for a chance to stab us in the back. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around without hesitation.
"Hey, where are you going! There are no other empty rooms at this hour!"
"Sion. Is that old lord's castle on the hill empty?"
"No. Why all of a sudden?"
"Let's go. Rather than paying money for a dump like this, it’s more cost-effective to just take over the castle."
"...What?"
Sion had a look on his face doubting whether he had heard me correctly just now.
"If it’s a lord's castle, it must have a good view and spacious rooms. It's even free."
"Are you really out of your mind?! That’s a place occupied by Salem’s largest organization! You want to go to war with those guys just to find a place to sleep?"
"War, my foot. I’m going to negotiate that if they quietly hand over one of the best suites, I’ll let them live."
"And if they don't?"
"Then I shoot them and take the room. It’s simple."
Cleaning up the trash and getting a room—it’s killing two birds with one stone. Click—! Whether Sion was shouting behind me or not, I moved my feet toward the old lord's castle without a shred of hesitation.