Chapter 103: What Must Break Will Break (3)
103. What Must Break Will Break (3)
A chilling silence settled over the office. Suho found himself unable to easily voice any words. Hajin wasn't the type to joke about something like this—and more than anything, the flood of déjà vu rising in his own mind corroborated Hajin's claims.
"So to summarize," Suho said, forcing calm into his voice, "you received a mission to safely complete the third-round performance with Yu-geon... There were no issues until episode three aired, but now this incident is making Yu-geon leave the show. So you regressed, but still couldn't stop his departure, and it keeps... happening?"
Hajin exhaled deeply and nodded, having regained some composure after his emotional outburst.
"The only silver lining is that I keep returning to this morning. Though I'm not sure if that even counts as a silver lining..."
To Suho, Hajin seemed to have completely lost his rational judgment. Though hesitant to add his own uninformed opinions, one thing was clear—Hajin wasn't in any state to view things objectively right now.
"Hajin."
"...No matter what I do, nothing changes. No matter how many times I say it, no matter how many identical conversations I have, I always wake up back on this same morning. Days pass, weeks go by, but the moment Yu-geon leaves the show, it's this morning again. That damned Fixed Regressor bastard—if I ever meet him, I'll kill—"
"Hajin. Kang Hajin! Look at me. Breathe. You're not even breathing properly right now!"
Suho gripped Hajin's hands tightly as he felt the younger man slipping back into his spiraling thoughts.
[System4492Status Window Updating...]
[Mental Care System Initializing...]
[Comrade Suho's Response Rate: High]
[Fixed Regressor21's Condition Stabilizing]
[Mental Care System Upgrading]
[Penalty3: All Cash Points Depleted]
Something flashed rapidly across Hajin's vision before disappearing. He startled as if waking from a dream.
"Are you—are you okay? We should get you to a hospital—no, wait, that wouldn't solve anything..."
Suho had dealt with idols suffering panic attacks before, but never one who'd lost his grip on reality due to infinite regression. Just as frustration began gnawing at him, Hajin's voice returned, clearer now.
"Sorry... I must have scared you. I'm okay now."
"Okay? Do you have any idea how you looked just now?"
"Like a madman. I know."
Hajin wiped his face repeatedly with his hands, as if brushing away another personality. The emotional wreck from moments ago had completely vanished.
"I can't explain in detail. You'd really think I'm insane."
"You should've abandoned that worry the moment you said we've had this same conversation twelve times. We settled this last time—talk. I have a right to know your condition."
"......"
Suho's firm tone left no room for argument. Hajin hesitated briefly before beginning his explanation in measured words.
"Team leader, remember when you first got your ability? You thought you were going crazy and saw a psychiatrist."
"Yeah."
"It's similar. If I accepted all these regressions at face value, I'd lose my mind. So I... blocked off some emotions and rationality. But this incident caused issues with that. Now I keep losing emotional control sometimes."
Hajin added that he never anticipated such side effects from the Mental Care system. Before this, it had only made him more sensitive and prone to crying.
"Normally it's not this bad. Given the circumstances... Once we resolve this, I'll find a solution. It's just—I've held it together until now, but facing the same situation over and over—"
"Hajin, Hajin. It's okay. I'm not interrogating you about your condition. I'm not checking whether you're mentally fit to be an idol either."
"......"
"I just need to understand the situation clearly so I can help. I'm worried about you."
"...Right."
"Are you really okay? No, 'okay' doesn't seem like the right word anymore. Can you think rationally now?"
At Suho's careful question, Hajin nodded. Suho chewed through the remaining ice in his coffee, rolled up his sleeves, and organized his thoughts.
"It'll be tough, but there must be a way. First—neither I nor the production team want Yu-geon to leave. The company sees great potential in him, and Kwon PD opposed reacting to these fake rumors, saying it would just feed the trolls. They seem to feel some responsibility too."
Meaning if Yu-geon could just steady himself, there would be no external factors forcing his departure.
Hajin clasped his hands together and bowed deeply, as if in prayer, his expression troubled.
"But no matter what we do, Yu-geon insists on leaving... I've run out of ways to persuade him. Do you know what I considered doing?"
"...What?"
"I thought about threatening him with a knife. 'If you leave like this, I'll kill myself.'"
"What? You—"
"Just imagining it. The moment I pictured holding a knife, I regressed again."
Hajin said it casually, but there was nothing casual about it.
"Was there... anything else worth noting? Think carefully. You might have missed things because you were too afraid of the regression loop. You must have gathered data from all those attempts."
"Nothing... substantial. Everything I learned, you just told me now. That someone maliciously fabricated posts about Yu-geon—I only discovered that around the fifth regression."
Suho, who thought nothing could surprise him anymore, caught the hidden meaning in those words and stared. Hajin shrugged as if it were nothing and straightened up.
"Didn't you think the response was suspiciously fast? The staff, the company—that's all results from me repeating this over ten times. At some point, things started unfolding that way even without my intervention."
Hajin added that the events might have become Fixed Events from all the repetitions, but Suho couldn't comprehend that far. What mattered was that the swift response to Yu-geon's rumors was entirely Hajin's doing.
Then Suho spotted a clue—things Hajin might have overlooked during his countless repetitions of today.
"Hajin, listen. I don't understand this regression... thing. But looking at the current situation—externally, most issues surrounding Yu-geon are being resolved."
"......"
"If things had progressed slowly without proper clarification like you said, it might be different. But thanks to your efforts, it's not that dire now. The company just sees it as a typical scandal."
When this first erupted—in those countless vanished "todays" only Hajin remembered—the situation might have been severe enough to force Yu-geon out.
Perhaps the company would have demanded his withdrawal citing conduct issues, or the production team's clarification might have missed the golden hour.
But the "today" Suho was experiencing wasn't like that.
"What I'm saying is—the situation isn't severe enough for Yu-geon to insist on leaving. Sure, he might be shocked about his family being insulted. But even that will disappear once legal actions are mentioned."
"...I've said all that too. But once he decides something, there's no stopping him. I can't tell him to just endure being insulted when I'm not the one regressing."
"Right, that. Let's rethink that."
This was exactly the point Suho wanted to address.
"If the situation has deescalated this much, why does Yu-geon still want to leave?"
"...What?"
"You said it yourself—after enough repetitions, some events start following the same flow."
"......!"
Hajin's stiff expression wavered at Suho's words.
"Could Yu-geon's departure be influenced by that too? The more you try persuading him the same way, the more it reinforces his determination."
"I didn't use the exact same approach each time..."
"I mean the fundamental reason behind your actions was the same. Your reason for stopping Yu-geon's departure. You just said it—'I'll stop Yu-geon from leaving to prevent regression.'"
"......"
"Do you really believe that? That if regression weren't an issue, you wouldn't care whether Yu-geon stayed or left?"
The question made Hajin reflect on his own attitude for the first time.
How had I been acting? What was my approach each time I tried stopping Yu-geon?
"Yu-geon might seem carefree, but he's perceptive. Do you think he didn't notice you and the others disapproving of him?"
"......"
It was true.
Looking back, throughout his attempts to persuade Yu-geon, Hajin had never truly considered Yu-geon's perspective or feelings. He'd only been consumed by fear that Yu-geon's departure would trigger another regression.
Amidst this incident, he'd failed to recognize Yu-geon's pain or fear, only emphasizing how irresponsible and burdensome quitting would be.
Because...
'Yu-geon's appeal point was his sense of responsibility.'
Now, with his rationality restored and the fog lifted after talking with Suho, Hajin realized:
'How absurd is it to judge and treat people solely by their stat windows?'
The system window was just that—a system.
And wasn't he still a novice who didn't even fully understand all his skills?
Yet he'd arrogantly assumed he had Yu-geon completely figured out?
The unfiltered emotions he'd unleashed on Yu-geon—what had they truly been?
"Let's try again slowly. You seem more composed now, so talk to Yu-geon calmly once more. If you can't, I'll step in."
"...Okay."
"I don't know how many times you've repeated this, but... at least returning to now is much better than before, right?"
Suho carefully patted Hajin's shoulder and met his eyes.
"You haven't lost everything yet, Hajin. There's still a chance."
"......"
"I don't know why the Fixed Regressor insists you must complete the third round with Yu-geon... But returning to now means solving this one thing is enough. Unlike before—suddenly going back ten years or losing all your progress."
Let's cling to that hope, okay? We'll protect it, Hajin.
Even after Suho's final words, Hajin remained silent for a long time. He turned the words over and over in his mind.
A chance.
He called it a chance.
There was a time when Hajin had thought similarly—that this was his opportunity to change his life.
Within years, as regression loops continued, he'd folded up that thought and tossed it in the trash. The idea that regression was merely an escape, a curse, remained unchanged...
"...Okay. I'll try again."
Nevertheless, Hajin nodded.
If this was truly the "chance" the Fixed Regressor had given him, he vowed not to waste it this time. His eyes flashed with determination.