Fireball (2)
There's a saying: if you don't have teeth, use your gums. It means if your best option is gone, you gotta think of the next best thing. With magic off the table as my top choice, I needed to go with plan B. It was still magic, sort of—just with a bit of physics mixed in. A spell like fireball, but with a slightly different vibe.
Pop! I finally yanked out the cork stopper that had been jammed deep into the bottle's neck. Thanks to the opener PassingDwarf gave me with the booze, I managed to pull it off.
"Urgh...!" The second it came out, I couldn't help but grimace. How the hell do you even describe this sensation? It was like a vicious stench was assaulting my nose, pounding it like a thug shaking down a debtor—pushing out every other smell in its path.
"Gah!" Even Ppareumbo, slung over my back and usually silent, recoiled in shock, pinching his nose. If a quiet guy like him was freaking out, it had to be brutal.
They gave me this to drink? Feels more like straight poison.
I was dying to know the proof on this stuff. Gotta be sky-high. At this rate, I could probably mix in a splash of oil and it'd still work.
Maybe just a taste?
Too wasteful to dump it, so I figured one sip wouldn't hurt. Even if I got wasted, no big deal—I had the internal power method. I'd heard running the technique burns off the buzz.
I stared at the booze still reeking of alcohol, then quietly brought it to my lips.
Gulp. Surprisingly sweet on the first sip. There was that boozy bitterness, sure, but the sugary aftertaste hit harder.
Not bad?
This could pass for a drink. Or so I thought. For exactly two seconds.
"Hoo?! Ugggghhh!"
Something's wrong. I definitely swallowed liquid, so why does my throat feel like it's on fire? Did I gulp down flames? No, wait—hydrochloric acid?
I clutched my throat, writhing in agony. Then it hit me: that damn dwarf slipped me poison after all!
Right after came the sense my life was in danger. Can't die like this. I fumbled around on the floor for an elixir, and soon the pain started easing up. If it hadn't, I'd have chugged one—no joke, it was that bad.
"Ugh..." I rubbed my still-stinging throat. Tears welled up.
Whatever PassingDwarf gave me, it wasn't booze—it was poison in liquid form. Otherwise, my throat wouldn't feel like I had acid reflux from hell. No exaggeration: even straight hydrochloric acid couldn't hurt this much.
Dwarf wouldn't be crazy enough to hand over actual poison.
People actually drink this stuff? Respect. I let out a sigh and stepped outside for a bit—to chug some water.
A few gulps from the hose, and the burning finally faded.
This alone could probably light up.
No need to fill it with oil then. Muscle mushrooms are mushrooms at heart—they'll catch fire easy. Overdo the liquid and it might spread too far.
Test the flammability first.
Back in the cave, I splashed a bit of booze on the floor. Grabbed a random dry twig and sparked it with my fire starter. Dry wood lights quick—safer than straight flint on booze.
Whoosh!
"Oh."
It went up like crazy the instant the flame touched it. High proof means high flammability, I guess. Should be fine even chucking the whole bottle.
Oh, and it's a glass bottle too? Perfect.
Effects confirmed—time to craft. Making a fireball's simple but tricky. Mess up, and I'm the one going up in flames. These things pack a punch; heard they took out tanks in wars back home.
First, oil.
Plan was to mix oil and booze properly. Like I said, full oil's risky—who knows what happens. At least this way, it'll snuff easy if needed.
Sand too.
Oil and sand? Chef's kiss combo. Got some vegetable oil from the auction house. Dried some nearby sand and tossed it in. Last, the crucial wick—that tripped me up.
Burns too fast, I'm screwed.
Needs to smolder slow but ignite well. Cloth wins there. Still, testing time. Snagged scraps of paper, newspaper, cloth from auction—anything flammable.
Cloth's safest.
Trials proved it. Shoved a cloth rag into the bottle neck—took some spoon-prodding. Flipped it to check leaks; thick cloth held fine.
Learned fireball. (Photo of the improvised Molotov cocktail)
Call me Fire Mage from now on.
└PassingDwarf ??? Isn't that the booze I gave you?
└YasaengGrill Yeah, it is. Brutal stuff lol
└PassingDwarf You didn't even taste it and toss it, did you?
└YasaengGrill Nah, took a sip. Thought I was gonna die lmao
└PassingDwarf Assassination attempt kek
└YasaengGrill You psycho lol who drinks that? Might as well chug rubbing alcohol.
└PassingDwarf It's pricey stuff tho lol
└Why make firebombs? What's the plan?
└YasaengGrill For the muscle mushroom man. If the body's lit, spores go up too, right?
└Straightforward tactic. Didn't peg you for a Molotov guy;;
└YasaengGrill How do you normies hunt 'em? Mages?
└Just oil bomb + torch. Safer.
└Grills is solo so that works better yeah.
└Fire Mage (Physics) lmaoooo
└StarlightPrincess Fireball's so easy tho...... Really not hard......
└YasaengGrill Teach?
└StarlightPrincess Nooo. Just a bit bummed. Unraveling magic's secrets step by step feels amazing.
└This magic (math)?
└Magic's advanced math fr
└What'd you mix? Oil?
└YasaengGrill Half oil, rest booze n sand. Fire spreads? We're fucked.
└You ain't planning to hose it down after torching everything, right?
└YasaengGrill Sand it over. Not that dumb.
└You know your shit? Almost reported you for arson lol
└YasaengGrill Report away. Suits me fine lmao
└Pffft lmao
└lololol
└kkkk
└Olfather Careful if the muscle mushroom catches fire—spores explode on release.
└YasaengGrill Noted. Weak to fire?
└Olfather Weak, yeah, but instinctual. Scattering offspring when life's threatened is basic survival.
└YasaengGrill Thanks for the tip. Heading out now.
└Gotta kill it?
└YasaengGrill Yeah, rabbit path needs traps. Gotta clear it.
└Fair enough.
└SunForever Gonna use the golden shield I gave ya?
└YasaengGrill Taking it obvs. Blocks at least one hit.
└SunForever I'll hook you up with a better one later. Hold tight.
└YasaengGrill It's fine tho......
└SunForever I'm not fine.
Prep done. Just needed to gear up right. Crossbow's dead weight—packed everything else. Firebombs were bulky tho; time for a small bag.
Grab something basic.
Auction house pouch for the waist. Stashed bombs, elixirs. Extra oil bottle for backups.
Thought that was it, but one more thing hit me.
Oh. Shovel too.
For smothering flames. Sword and shield in hands, shovel on back—good to go. Muscle mushroom hunt time.
"Guard the house good."
"......"
Handed off to Ppareumbo, who'd hopped down from my back. Wonmo snoozed through my exit—too cute to wake.
All set. Tension rising, I stepped out.
Kill the mushroom, set traps, snag small game around. Bonus: peek inside that blocked cave.
What's in there?
Traps were the goal, but the cave piqued my curiosity too. Mushroom's guarding it for a reason.
Not a dungeon with it as the gatekeeper, right?
That'd be poking the hornet's nest. Curiosity killed the cat, after all.
Worried but hopeful, I headed to the muscle mushroom spot.
Rustle—something burst from the bushes mid-path. Long ears, cute and compact.
"Squeak?"
A rabbit. It spotted me and puffed up its back, ears perked high. Total alert mode—but munching away? Adorable.
"Shoo. Go on. Shoo."
No hunting now; tapped it lightly with my sword. Guess even that spooked it.
Thwack!
The rabbit kicked my sword hard—with its foot, not the blade. Clear ring meant serious power. Staggered me off-balance.
"What the...?"
I stared, dumbfounded, as it bolted into the brush. Nearly floored by a rabbit kick. Forest rabbits ain't normal— that'd crack bones minimum.
What kinda forest is this?
Rabbits hazardous now? Ridiculous. Traps need lethality, or it'll smash 'em all.
Headache brewing, but mushroom first.
"......Found it."
Familiar path led right to it—still gatekeeping the cave. Won't wake unless you approach.
Carefully pulled a firebomb from the pouch.
Flick! Wick lit up fast with the fire starter. Stared at the motionless mushroom.
Yeah, needs proximity to stir.
"Hyaah!"
Mighty yell, hurled it hard. Bottle spun fiery rings through the air. Mushroom rooted till impact.
Smash!
Shattered on its body.
Roooar! Flames engulfed it whole. Oil and booze fueled the inferno; sand stuck gooey.
"Groooaaarrr!"
Sensing doom, it yanked limbs from the dirt. I charged as planned—hot, but one pass doable.
Slash! Chopped a leg before it freed fully. Muscled or not, three legs = tumble.
Thud!
Down it went; flames roared higher.
Pop-pop-boom!
"Gah!"
Sudden mini-explosions. Good thing I was clear—firecracker-level, but burns kill.
Spore burst.
Olfather nailed it. Tried reproducing; fire popped 'em instead. Flailed a bit, then settled as flames spread. Mushroom scent? Surprisingly fragrant, not gross.
Not eating it tho.
Easy win thanks to prep. Wait for overkill tho.
Crackle! Pop!
Charred black now, flames dying. Shovel off back—smothered with sand. Clean snuff.
Smell might draw beasts?
Nice aroma could lure 'em. Decided to clear it.
Embers risk—push to sparse grass spot.
Shoveled it to a corner. Beasts'll go for the shroom over cave.
Cleanup done, peered into the guarded cave. Bad light angle—pitch black.
I see fine in dark, but proper scout needs a torch.
Lucky I brought cloth scraps.
Grabbed a thick branch off the floor, wrapped cloth tight, lit it.
Whoosh! Cave lit right up.
Layout like my shelter—roomy all around, comfy vibe.
Not ba—
I froze mid-scan. Torch revealed the back wall.
No beast. Just... eye-catching.
Sparkle! Sparkle!
"......A mushroom?"
Golden mushroom gleaming radiantly.
Poison shroom?
Looked utterly unappetizing.