Blue Tag (1)
Having tallied up another defeat against the Fast Tree Sloth, I finished cleaning up the mess.
Though losing the iron bucket stung, simple buckets were a dime a dozen on the Auction House, so resupplying wouldn't be an issue. Besides, having sold the owlbear carcass alongside the harvested logs, my current finances were quite comfortable. I had even listed the beast's inner core on the market a little while ago, so my pockets would be even heavier by tomorrow.
I wonder how much the neidan will actually fetch?
The Heavenly Demon had warned that appraising such a thing was tricky. For that very reason, there was a high likelihood it might end up severely undervalued. An inner core was an exceedingly rare spiritual medicine. In a marketplace where users routinely posted complaints about getting scammed on the Auction House, listing something as mythical as an inner core was bound to invite skepticism. It was only thanks to the credibility I had painstakingly built up so far that people took me seriously; under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have had any right to complain if they denounced me as a con artist.
Not like I've directly experienced its full effects firsthand, either.
What had transformed my body wasn't the inner core, but eating the spirit fish. Even that remained murky, given that I had barely dipped a single toe into the realm of mana and internal energy. The Heavenly Demon and the other fixed nicks possessed immense expertise, but none of them were here beside me in the flesh. Bizarre phenomena that baffled even those seasoned masters were unfolding within my body, making it impossible to draw any definitive conclusions.
Still, the fact that it works is undeniable.
In less than a single day, both my physical strength and stamina had skyrocketed. Hadn't I just breezed through backbreaking manual labor like logging and digging without breaking a sweat? Whatever the exact mechanics were, that supernatural diet had made me vastly stronger. That much I could swear on my life.
Since I've still got time to spare, should I scout the surroundings?
The shelter maintenance was finished, and all that remained was receiving the barricades from the Passing Dwarf. Before that delivery arrived, I wanted to map out our perimeter. With my mind made up, I headed back into the cave.
Inside, I found Wonmo curled up fast asleep, lost in a peaceful afternoon nap. How could any living creature look so absurdly adorable and precious just sleeping? This was a moment that practically demanded a photo post.
[Attached Photo: Wonmo curled into a tight, fuzzy little ball as he sleeps]
[Attached Video: Wonmo snoring softly in deep slumber]
Every single time I look at this guy, I swear my soul finds peace. How can something be this cute?
That was a fair point. Leaving Wonmo alone while I went exploring carried tremendous risk. In my heart, I wanted nothing more than to take him along, but his combat ability was still weaker than mine. When we visited the river earlier, the Fast Tree Sloth had appeared out of nowhere. If I hadn't hurried back, and if Ppareumbo hadn't turned out to be relatively docile, things could have gone horribly wrong.
Should I take Wonmo with me?
There was an alternative: leaving the Fast Tree Sloth behind in the cavern. In truth, that was by far the best choice for Wonmo's safety. The downside was that I would be left completely exposed. Just earlier, Ppareumbo had intercepted a strike from that chameleon viper that nearly killed me. With his blinding reflexes and absurd kinetic vision, having him at my back was the ultimate survival asset.
Damn, this is a tough call.
Leave Wonmo defenseless, or venture out into the unknown without my guardian beast? After agonizing over the dilemma for a long moment, I finally spoke to the creature clinging lazily to my back.
"Hey, Ppareumbo."
"?"
At my call, the Fast Tree Sloth tilted his head in excruciatingly slow motion.
"You need to stay and guard the cave."
"……."
"Keep a close eye on the place until I get back, and I'll give you an Inedia Pill."
Hearing the promise of food, the sloth immediately began clambering down from my back at a leisurely crawl. The guy unmistakably understood human speech. It was uncanny. It certainly wasn't because of anything special on my end, so the Fast Tree Sloth was just an extraordinary creature. Wonmo seemed to understand words to some degree as well, but I pushed that thought aside for now. Wondering about deep mysteries was a luxury reserved for times of peace. In a survival situation like this, such inquiries were nothing more than distracting clutter.
"When Wonmo wakes up, let him know where I went. Got it?"
Nod. Nod.
The Fast Tree Sloth bobbed his head in assent. With a reliable bodyguard stationed at home base, all that remained was prepping my gear. As always, my kit consisted of the Heavenly Demon's Sword and the Golden Shield. I threw on fresh clothes, newly washed from when I bathed Wonmo earlier.
Princess Chaeng-gu mentioned she'd send over long-sleeved gear later, right?
I didn't know how long that would take, but it probably wouldn't be too far off, considering she had readily parted with a high-grade athletic uniform before. Tucking away an Elixir and a few Inedia Pills for emergencies, I was finally ready to roll.
Which way should I head today?
Using the cave as the central hub, I had gradually begun surveying the cardinal directions. To the northeast lay the river where the Golden Poison Frog roamed; to the northwest was the habitat of the Adult Mandrake Roots. Without a compass, of course, I couldn't be certain those bearings were precise, relying entirely on my internal sense of direction. Thus, I decided to push toward what I assumed was the west.
I should make sure to return before noon.
Once I finished this scouting run, the plan was to receive the barricades from the Passing Dwarf and reinforce the perimeter. Within less than a week, my physical condition had improved by leaps and bounds. Heavy labor was no longer an exhausting ordeal. Before long, territorial exploration would become my primary daily routine.
"I'm heading out. Keep the shelter safe."
"……."
As I stepped beyond the cave entrance, the Fast Tree Sloth slowly raised a claw and waved farewell. A clear gesture wishing me a safe trip. No matter how many times I saw it, he felt less like a wild animal and more like an odd little person.
Chirp, chirp—skrrr.
This path was completely fresh territory, leading away from both the river and the mandrake grove. The clamorous chirping of unseen insects scraped against my eardrums, ratcheting up the tension. To avoid losing my way, I notched marks into tree trunks as I advanced.
I can't trust anything my eyes see at face value.
The memory of that camouflaged viper kept my nerves strung tight. Every few paces, I tapped the flat of my blade against the bark of nearby trees or parted thick foliage with the scabbard, taking every possible precaution. Progress might be sluggish, but it was safe. Even with an Elixir in my pocket, it was an irreplaceable treasure to be hoarded for true mortal peril.
"Huh?"
As I crept forward, something caught my eye on the forest floor. It was pitch-black, and at first glance, I assumed it was a discarded lump of charcoal. But seeing a swarm of flies buzzing over it made it abundantly clear that charcoal it was not.
Dung.
Animal droppings. Whose, I had no clue. In civilized society, it was merely foul waste to be stepped around in disgust. In the wild, however, it carried an entirely different weight. Beasts commonly marked their territory through excrement. It was an unmistakable warning sign: This is my domain; step inside and you die.
Judging by the flies, it looks like it's been here a while. Did it belong to the owlbear?
I wasn't a tracker, so I couldn't say for sure. For now, my best guess was that it belonged to the adult owlbear that had recently departed for the great beyond. The droppings Wonmo left behind looked identical in color and texture, differing only in scale. Still, consulting the Gallery was always the wisest move.
Better slap a gross warning on it first.
Getting banned by the mod for posting filth was a real risk, so caution was warranted. Keeping my eyes peeled on the brush, I drafted a quick post.
[Attached Photo: Close-up of large animal droppings]
Stumbled across this while scouting today. Anyone recognize what dropped this?
If it's from an owlbear, I'll keep going. If it belongs to something else, I need to rethink my route.
As expected of Father-emon. The sole beacon of intellect amidst a sea of internet degenerates. Coming from Allfather of all people, the appraisal was beyond doubt. I sent him a quick mental note of thanks and resumed my march.
Just in case, I deleted the thread. If the Juddak caught sight of animal feces on the board, a ban hammer might come swinging down without warning. Rather than banking on flexibility, our Main Moderator was notoriously rigid about community rules, so taking precautions was only prudent.
Oddly enough, the Heavenly Demon didn't leave a comment.
I suppose even supreme martial sovereigns had a distaste for filthy things. Completely understandable. At any rate, with the droppings confirmed to be old territory marks from the dead owlbear, continuing deeper down this path posed no immediate territorial clash.
Oh? Are those wild raspberries?
Further along the trail, a patch of mouthwatering fruit caught my eye. Plump, bright red, and clustered attractively, they looked for all the world like wild berries. But this was the Forest of the Four Seasons—a demon realm where even a blade of grass could carry venom. Having suffered severe allergic rashes before arriving here, I decided to consult the forum before harvesting anything. Dropping dead from heedless foraging was the absolute last way I wanted to go out.
[Attached Photo: Cluster of glossy red berries resembling wild raspberries]
They look delicious. Can I eat these?
This was precisely why I placed absolute trust in Allfather. Like a living encyclopedia, he broke down critical details without missing a beat. Staring down at the deceptive cluster of Arisaema berries, I crushed them thoroughly beneath my heel. It served a dual purpose: neutralizing a poison trap and marking the path. Leaving clear signs that I had passed through was essential for retracing my steps.
Maybe I should buy some spray paint?
Not a bad idea. Blazing trails with bright colors would prove invaluable on longer expeditions. Pushing deeper through the brush, I kept a steady rhythm while staying alert to my surroundings. After traversing the dense thickets for who knew how long, an unmistakable landmark finally rose into view.
"Whoa... that's freaking huge."
I tilted my head back, my jaw dropping in sheer disbelief. Looming right before my eyes was a mushroom.
It was no ordinary fungi. In height and girth, it towered far above me. Calling it massive didn't do it justice; it was an absolute colossus of a mushroom. What on earth was this thing?
Its cap and stalk look kind of like a matsutake pine mushroom.
This would make a perfect geographic marker. I could use this towering mushroom as an anchor point to explore the western sector. But as I drew nearer, something struck me as odd.
Why is the ground around it so completely clear?
Before approaching any closer, I surveyed the immediate environment. Despite its gargantuan size, the mushroom stood entirely alone in an open clearing, devoid of surrounding undergrowth. Perhaps its root system greedily drained every drop of moisture and nutrient from the surrounding soil. Wanting to confirm what I was dealing with, I snapped a picture and posted it to the board.
[Attached Photo: A colossal pine mushroom towering higher than a grown man, framed beside nearby trees]
It's way taller than me. You can judge the scale by comparing it to the trunk next to it.
Anyone know what this thing is?
Fire, huh? I nodded to myself. While I carried the Ignition Stone gifted by the Heavenly Demon, there was no reason to go out of my way to provoke it. I had zero intention of dining on a walking mushroom monster, so wasting stamina was pointless. Yet just as I prepared to loop around the clearing—
"Wait a second."
Peering past the giant stalk, I caught sight of a dark recess behind it. A cavern entrance. The colossal mushroom was planted directly in front of the opening, plugging the entryway like a massive cork. What lay hidden within those subterranean depths? An itch of primal curiosity flared in my chest.
What is this, a dungeon gatekeeper?
Curiosity was one thing, but my life was far too precious to gamble. Having flirted with the reaper multiple times already, walking away was an easy choice. I turned on my heel.
Rumble, rumble, rumble!
Naturally, the universe refused to let me off so easily. Startled by the sudden tremor rippling through the dirt beneath my boots, I whipped my head around to locate the source. The gargantuan mushroom was thrashing violently back and forth, as if wrenching itself free from the earth by its very roots.
Oh, for crying out loud.
It was always like this. I took a cautious step backward. I didn't have a torch ready, but my plan was simple: gauge its combat capability, then turn tail and bolt. Fighting it would yield nothing more than a peek inside a damp cave anyway.
Craaaack! Crunch!
The topsoil tore apart in jagged fissures, unearthing the creature's true form. Allfather had described a Mushroom Man as possessing an overgrown, bloated torso paired with comically stubby little limbs. He had noted that even if one grew to gargantuan proportions, those proportions would remain unchanged.
"Kuuhk."
It was entirely wrong. Its arms and legs were long, spindly, and grotesque—resembling human limbs. But they weren't merely elongated. They were packed with thick, ropy veins and bursting with muscles like an elite bodybuilder. Its body remained a towering, cylindrical mushroom stalk, but from its sides and base sprouted chiseled, hyper-developed human limbs. It was beyond bizarre. It was an outright abomination.
...Is that a face?
Near the upper curve of the stalk beneath the cap, a pair of narrow, slit-like eyes blinked open. An entity that truly lived up to the name Mushroom Man. Once again, it hammered home the terrifying reality that I had been cast into a fantasy realm. Except the sub-genre was unabashed dark fantasy. A truly miserable state of affairs.
"Ku-ooohk!"
The Mushroom Man took a heavy step toward me, radiating raw, predatory malice. As Allfather said, honestly, it didn't look that tough... No, scratch that. It looked terrifyingly strong. Ridiculously strong, in fact. Looking at those thick, striated arms, who in their right mind would call this thing weak?
Thud!
The moment my thoughts drifted, the Mushroom Man exploded with speed. Digging its fibrous heels into the dirt, it closed the gap in a singular blur. It felt as though it had taken only one giant stride, yet it was already bearing down right in front of my nose. Even so, it wasn't fatal. Its top speed wasn't impossible to track; my enhanced kinetic vision could easily process its trajectory. It was still vastly slower than the Fast Tree Sloth.
Let's block just one hit!
A massive, tree-trunk right fist cocked back and drove straight toward my abdomen with horrifying momentum. I snapped the Golden Shield up to intercept. Factoring in the legendary durability of the shield and my recently bolstered musculature, holding my ground should have been well within reason.
"KU-WAAARGH!"
The Mushroom Man released a thundering martial kiai.
BOOOOOOM!
"Guh-khoff?!"
A concussive shockwave ripped through the metal face of the shield, and my body was launched violently backward through the air.
Holy crap... I can't believe I survived that.
Having sprinted all the way back to the sanctuary of my cave, I collapsed against the rock wall, gasping for breath. Lowering my gaze, I stared at the face of the Golden Shield. Pressed deep into the lustrous metal was the vivid, unmistakable indentation of a massive fist.
If not for this shield absorbing the brunt of the kinetic force, that single punch would have killed me on the spot. After getting launched, I hadn't looked back once, sprinting at full tilt until my lungs burned. Mercifully, the Mushroom Man hadn't pursued me beyond its clearing.
What kind of overgrown fungus throws a martial arts Phoenix Smasher?!
I had suspected as much after seeing those vascular arms, but the sheer destructive output was absurd. Had that blow connected directly with my unarmored body, my torso would have been punched clean through, or my internal organs would have shot out of my throat. Letting out a shaky sigh of relief, I hauled up the Gallery interface.
[Attached Photo: The Golden Shield showing a deep, distinct fist imprint caved into its surface]
This bastard unleashed a straight deathfist on me and left my shield like this.
Thank god I had the shield up, or I would've been completely done for;;
Even Allfather threw his hands up in confusion. The other users could do nothing but marvel in disbelief. Even by the standards of this multidimensional audience, such a creature defied all established natural laws. That alone proved just how unhinged and otherworldly the Forest of the Four Seasons truly was. Then again, a sloth that could snatch arrows out of the air mid-flight was hardly within the bounds of common sense either.
Why was that creature blocking the cavern entrance in the first place?
Recalling how it stood vigil like a temple guardian, my curiosity flared hotter. But the Mushroom Man was simply too overwhelmingly powerful. Taking it head-on was impossible; bypassing it would require cunning and unconventional tricks.
Just as I was sorting through my thoughts, a prominent comment popped up in the thread.
It was the Heavenly Demon. Typically, she was the first to comment on my posts without fail. Seeing her arrive late suggested she had been occupied with sect matters. Yet more than her words, something else entirely seized my attention.
Users who noticed it before me began firing off comments in a flurry. The reaction across the board was sheer shock. And for good reason.
Beside the Heavenly Demon's username, where there had once been an ordinary handle, now sat a glowing, unmistakable blue moderator tag.
The Heavenly Demon had returned as an assistant manager.