Thief (3)
Sloth—no, I guess it's Ppareumbo now. Ppareumbo gazed at me with that laid-back, utterly leisurely expression. But I didn't feel any surge of anger. Instead, tension welled up inside me.
Crack! The arrow I'd snatched broke clean in half in my hand. But what really had my nerves on edge were its claws. Those vicious, overgrown talons. The moment they got me, my life was over. No choice but to stay on high alert.
'No telling when it'll lunge.'
Why the hell did something with that kind of agility move so damn slowly? Maybe it was something like this.
[Kneeling down was just to build up momentum!]
Regular sloths move slow to conserve energy, or so Olfather had told me. But in the Four Seasons Forest, that wasn't sustainable, so it evolved in a different direction. Bursting out with insane agility only in moments of crisis, like just now. A pretty solid hypothesis, honestly. What a mad world.
Slowly... slowly... Ppareumbo finally started moving.
Maybe because I'd seen that agility earlier, but it looked different now. Not clumsy—just toying with me, full of leisure. That was why Cheonma and Olfather had warned me to be careful from the start.
'Can you tell someone's skill level just from footage?'
No clue on that. But their instincts had been spot-on, that much was clear. So how the hell was I supposed to deal with it now?
I set the crossbow down first. Firing arrows would be pointless—it'd just dodge or snatch them out of the air.
'Hand-to-hand... honestly, I'd probably lose.'
Speed-wise, I was hopelessly outmatched. It had spotted and grabbed an arrow mid-flight. Me? I could barely track the damn thing's path. This was a situation that demanded total focus. One slip, and those claws could pierce my throat.
'No. If it wanted to pierce me, it would've done it already.'
That left two possibilities. Either Ppareumbo was a pacifist, or it had no intention of killing me. The former would be great, but the latter was potentially dangerous. With that speed and agility, it was bound to be a threat eventually.
'...Or maybe it's just messing with me.'
On the flip side, maybe I wasn't a threat at all, so it was taking it easy. I eyed Ppareumbo as it crept closer, then glanced back at the iron bucket. It held the fish I'd caught this morning.
'Should I just give it this and make it back off peacefully?'
Not a bad option. My odds of winning a fight were slim to none. I had an elixir from StarlightPrincess, sure, but that assumed I wasn't critically wounded. One solid hit to a vital spot, and even the elixir probably wouldn't save me.
I mulled it over, then slowly gripped my shield. I left the sword alone—I had a different plan in mind. I angled the shield toward it and dragged the iron bucket along. Even then, Ppareumbo just approached at its glacial pace.
Scraaaape! Scraaaape! Before long, I was hauling the fish-filled bucket into one hand, dragging it along.
Was it really after the fish? And sure enough, Ppareumbo shuffled toward me in its signature slow motion. Yeah, definitely wanted the fish. But that sparked a question.
'Why the hell, though?'
I'd heard leaves were their staple diet. Why fish? Did animals adapting to the Four Seasons Forest change their eating habits too?
'Or is there something special about the fish?'
Suddenly, I remembered what Cheonma had said. The fish I caught were like spirit beasts, possibly harboring inner cores. No proof yet, though.
I dragged the bucket all the way into the shelter cave while I pondered. It made a racket, but Wonmo was still blissfully asleep, oblivious to the world. One of us facing a life-or-death threat, the other sprawled out snoring—what an unfair world.
'Well, it's just a baby, so...'
Meanwhile, Ppareumbo had entered the cave. No escape now. I gripped my sword and shield, staying vigilant. Only one play left: wait for it to take the fish and strike. No telling when it'd slash those killer claws at my neck, so I had to end it then.
"......"
Then Ppareumbo stopped dead in its tracks. It had never halted its slow shuffle before, so I couldn't help but wonder why. It was staring intently at something. I followed its gaze.
It was locked on the pouch holding the Wall Valley Pills.
Slowly... slowly...
"Huh?"
No way on the Wall Valley Pills. In a panic, I lunged for the pouch. As I snatched it up, Ppareumbo looked up at me quietly.
Bob... bob...
It even bobbed those ferocious claws up and down in place. Anyone could see it wanted one. And if I didn't hand it over? Looked a lot like a death threat.
"...Should I give you one?"
"......"
It just stared at me in silence. (Not that it could talk anyway.) Fine, better the pills than the fish. And I still had plenty left. Cautiously, I pulled one out.
"Th-this?"
"......"
Poke.
Without a word, it stabbed a claw into the pill. Then slowly brought it to its mouth. Even that motion was so sluggish, it had me on edge just watching.
"Mm."
"......"
Ppareumbo worked its jaw up and down, savoring it. Owl-bears and even Wonmo had spat them right out. I only choked them down to survive—not for the taste. But this thing chewed it thoroughly, its leisurely expression unchanged.
Bob... bob...
"...Want another one?"
"......"
"That's kinda tou—"
Whoosh!
I was about to say I didn't have enough for myself when its claw flashed toward my throat in the blink of an eye. A little deeper, and it'd have punched a hole straight through. My blood ran cold. I hadn't even seen it move.
Bob... bob...
As I swallowed hard, it wiggled its other claw. Hand it over, or die. The vibe was crystal clear.
"...Ha. Fuck."
What a shitty world. With a sigh, I handed over another pill. It withdrew the claw. Now that it had two pills, it looked satisfied. At least it stopped at two—no more demands. And it seemed to have lost interest in the fish. I let out a breath of relief.
Shuffle... shuffle...
"Huh? What? What're you doing?"
But Ppareumbo's antics weren't over. Suddenly, it started climbing up my body. It was careful not to stab me with those sharp claws—no pain at all.
Plop.
"......"
"......"
Finally, it perched its chin right on top of my head. Did it think I was a tree sprouting leaves or something? I was too dumbfounded to speak. Part of me wanted to shake it off, but that wasn't an option.
'Force it down, and I'll be the one hurting.'
No way I could pry it loose with those deadly claws. Small mercy: it weighed next to nothing. Weirdly, no stench either. If anything, it smelled nice.
'Even this thing must have ticks...'
Still, better safe than sorry—I'd have to wash it somehow. I sighed deeply. Not even a week in, and I'd dealt with every freak incident under the sun. Only one place to vent about this.
Live: Getting Shaken Down by a Sloth - YasaengGrill
That high-nic who posted the sloth earlier. This bastard ate my Wall Valley Pills and threatened me with its claws for more ㅠㅠ World is so cruel.
Living to see a sloth shake me down.
└Cheonma: You caved just because it flashed its claws?
└YasaengGrill: This fucker catches arrows midair...... Nearly got its claw in my throat at that speed.
└Cheonma: Hm. In that case, I can see it. Might even make a fine sparring partner.
└YasaengGrill: Spar with a sloth??
└Cheonma: You said you're slower than the sloth, so it shouldn't be bad training.
└YasaengGrill: Ha;
└SwordTasteStar: What’s that sloth doing now?
└YasaengGrill: Hanging off my back.
└SwordTasteStar: What kinda bullshit is that?
└YasaengGrill: Sounds like bullshit, right? It's real. Pic later.
└Never thought I'd hear about a sloth robbing a guy and clinging to him lmao
└Legendary lol
└It really a sloth tho?
└YasaengGrill: I named it Ppareumbo arbitrarily ㅇㅇ
└Ppareumbo lol
└Better than Fluffy lol
└YasaengGrill: What's wrong with Fluffy?
└Don'tAbandonHero: It's lame!
└Judaek: You here~?
└Popping outa nowhere with facts lmao
└YasaengGrill: Where you been?
└Don'tAbandonHero: Was being chased, had to run! Safe now! Still gotta camp tho!
└Ah......
└Aaaah......
└Aaaaaah......
└YasaengGrill: Then come to me? Pretty plentiful here.
└Don'tAbandonHero: Sorry! Goddess doesn't forgive suicide!
└YasaengGrill: Harsh.
└Olfather: Ppareumbo... Might've discovered a new species. Scholars would be thrilled.
└YasaengGrill: Don't normal sloths have tons of ticks?
└Olfather: No ticks. Moths and beetles live on them and eat the ticks. Oh. Damn.
└Olfather: Plus mold probably prevents infections.
└YasaengGrill: So not great for me, huh?
└Olfather: Yeah. Filthy. Very. Gotta wash it somehow.
Small mercy: no gross feeling. Like I said, no stench—it was bearable.
'Gotta catch that golden frog like this.'
Grab the golden frog, trade with Olfather, then fish for lunch. Ppareumbo's surprise appearance threw a wrench in things, but now it was fine. With Ppareumbo on my back, I gathered my gear.
Normally I'd sling the crossbow over my shoulder, but with Ppareumbo...
Slide.
"Hm?"
As I went to strap it on, it slyly shifted aside. Once it was on, it climbed right back on top. Smart animal. I'd sensed it during the shakedown—pretty high intelligence.
'Wonmo too—do they understand me?'
Nah. Just clever. I adjusted carefully so Ppareumbo couldn't hit the trigger. It seemed to get it, hanging toward the front without issue. Now I was face-to-face with its mug. Looked dumb as a rock. And this thing snatched arrows midair. Four Seasons Forest was unreal.
Sssss...
I was heading upriver to the golden frog habitat when an ominous sound hissed in my ear. Like a snake flicking its tongue. I'd gotten wrecked by a steel-scale serpent before, so I scanned around warily. Nothing in sight.
Momentarily thought it was my imagination, but...
"Hiss!"
What I'd taken for a brown tree branch gaped its jaws wide. And its body shifted from brown to green. Two razor fangs protruded menacingly inside. Not a branch—a venomous snake.
'Ch-chameleon?!'
A snake mimicking a chameleon? What unholy combo was this? Too stunned for a proper reaction. I'd straight-up mistaken it for a branch.
Snap!
But one animal beat me to it. Too fast to track the motion. But the result? Crystal clear.
"Hiiiiss! Hiss!"
"......"
Claws even deadlier than those fangs pierced the viper's head. The snake thrashed, impaled clean through. It tried coiling around the claw to escape, but futile. Smaller than the steel-scale one I'd fought, and with its head skewered, fate was sealed.
Rip!
Ppareumbo yanked hard with its free hand. The snake's head tore vertically.
Thud.
It hit the ground twitching. The split head was grotesque. Just in case, I stabbed it with my sword to avoid any bites. Soon, it went limp. Body twitched occasionally, but dead for sure.
"......"
"......"
I glanced back at Ppareumbo on my back. Same old leisurely expression. Like nothing had happened—total peace.
"...One more Wall Valley Pill?"
Nod.
Ppareumbo nodded. Slow as ever. Truly.