Thief (2) – The Sloth
Sloths. Animals whose name combines "tree" and "slowpoke." They're famous for every single action being painfully slow. They're so slow that animal researchers who studied them for two whole years supposedly gave up in frustration. You'd think that'd make them at a huge disadvantage in the wild, but surprisingly, they're pretty rational creatures. There's a beauty to slowness—being slow means low energy consumption.
"But this is the Four Seasons Forest, right?"
I had no idea if that sloth philosophy even applied here. Right now, one was face-to-face with me, moving at a glacial pace. It was obviously after the fish in my trap. But I wasn't sure if sloths were omnivores. This was a job for the Gallery.
What the hell is this thing?
YasaengGrill (Photo of a sloth caught red-handed trying to steal fish)
I went up the river and back down, and there it was. Looks like it was after my fish. Do sloths eat meat/fish?
└Cheonma: That relaxed expression says it all. Be careful.
└???: You don't even know what a sloth is?
└Told you to watch out for the sloth lol
└Unbelievable lololol
└Cheonma: You'll regret it only after those savage claws pierce you.
└Olfather: I didn't know sloths lived in the Four Seasons Forest. They usually inhabit jungles.
└YasaengGrill: Sloths don't eat fish, right?
└Olfather: Leaves are their main diet. Plus, sloths can't walk—they have to crawl. But that one's supporting itself on its arms like a gorilla. Might not be a sloth after all.
└YasaengGrill: (Video of the sloth moving super slowly)
└Olfather: It is a sloth.
└YasaengGrill: What the hell is it?
└YasaengGrill: I don't know either lol
└Cognitive dissonance from that video lololol
└Even the professor's seeing this specimen for the first time whoa
└Isn't this basically research material?
└Olfather: Research material or not, be careful. Everything in the Four Seasons Forest has its own weapon.
Cheonma, Olfather—everyone's telling me to be careful. The difference? Olfather's caution comes from scholarly wariness of the unknown; Cheonma's is pure instinct. Anyway, they all said watch out for this sluggish sloth, so the sun hadn't set yet.
"Not to put it harshly, but couldn't I just grab it?"
I could snatch it up with my bare hands. But I had no intention of doing that. No telling if it'd pass on some disease or if parasites might bite me. Wonmo was fine 'cause I scrubbed her squeaky clean, but this thing? No way.
"Gotta chase it off first."
It was eyeing my fish, so no way was I letting that slide. Killing it felt a bit too much, so I figured a simple threat would do.
"Shoo. Shoo. Go on, get lost."
"……."
I tapped it lightly with the flat of my blade, not the edge, and the sloth backed off inch by inch. Even its retreat was so sluggish I was getting frustrated just watching. But these fish were for my lunch. Sloth or not, no dice.
"Go eat some leaves. That's your staple food, right?"
"……."
"That looks like a 'no thanks' face? Why not? Go climb a tree. Plenty to eat up there."
"……."
The sloth's usual laid-back expression shifted ever so slightly. Like it was a tiny bit pissed. Almost as if it was saying, You wrecked my tree. If that was really it, sorry. But no fish for you.
"That face won't work on me. Scram."
"……."
"Tsk. This isn't working."
Even taps with the flat weren't budging it anymore. I scanned around, picked up a handy stick, and poked it. Poke-poke. Now it was retreating. If I herded it all the way to a tree, it'd leave, right?
Thud.
"Huh?"
But the world doesn't bend to my will. The sloth grabbed the end of the stick with its hand. I tugged to pull it free, startled for a second.
Grip!
"What the—its strength…?"
It wouldn't let go. The sloth was stronger than it looked. Makes sense for a tree-dweller—arms gotta be powerful. Better not get into a tug-of-war. Find another stick.
"Or maybe just glove up and lift it?"
Yeah, that might be easier. Gloves were in my pocket. I slipped them on, circled behind the still-plodding sloth. By the time I got there, it hadn't moved much. Even grabbing its back was the same.
"Heave-ho."
"……?"
I hoisted it up, and the sloth's face shifted to surprise. Even that change was sloooow. Wild how it could pull off that expression with such a chill vibe. Finally, I carried it to a tree, and the ordeal ended. Now just grab antidote and hunt that golden frog.
"It's not coming this way, is it?"
I glanced back, half-doubting. And yep, there it was, shambling toward me with determination. Pitiful, really. What was so special about these fish?
A sigh escaped me.
"……This won't do."
Words alone weren't cutting it. Needed a real threat. Especially from this fish-stealing thief. I aimed my crossbow at the cautiously approaching sloth. Not to kill—just shoot the ground for intimidation.
Swoosh.
"……So frustrating."
Wasting time on one slowpoke. If I were meaner, I'd ventilate its skull. But it hadn't attacked me directly. Everything I'd killed before had threatened my life. I aimed at the dirt, far enough it wouldn't hit.
Twang!
Thud!
The bolt zipped into the soil. The sloth slowly lowered its head, stared at it intently, then lifted back up.
Sloooowly.
"I'm losing my mind."
What was in that head? After all that, still no retreat. I caved and asked the Gallery.
How do I chase this thing off?
YasaengGrill (Video of approaching sloth)
Keeps eyeing my fish. I carried it to a tree, threatened with crossbow, but it's still coming. Advice?
└Cheonma: What tenacity. Learn from it.
└SwordTasteStar: Just give it the fish? Seems like it'll keep bothering you.
└YasaengGrill: Teachers, I wanna eat a proper meal too. Wonmo eats better than me.
└lolololol
└lololol
└So sad lol
└Why's it so obsessed? What's in the fish?
└YasaengGrill: Nah, thinks I wrecked its home.
└Why'd you wreck its home?
└YasaengGrill: Dug up a tree, turned out it was its house.
└Does that sloth talk?
└YasaengGrill: No, just a hunch lol
└Total BS lolol
└Grill, you gonna lose to a sloth?
└YasaengGrill: Nah, but killing feels off.
└Just kill and eat it or feed Wonmo. Best option.
└YasaengGrill: Is it tasty?
└Nah, tastes bad apparently. That's how they survive humans.
└Olfather: First time seeing a sloth act like that... fascinating.
└Even prof's never seen it?
└Olfather: I don't know the Four Seasons Forest well. Hate getting close.
No real helpful advice. Most said just kill it. But sloth meat's nasty, hide's worthless—no market. Wonmo could handle it, but cleanup's a pain.
"Can't give up the fish though."
With that dumb tenacity, it'd steal them eventually. No way I'd skip a real meal for that.
I loaded a bolt and aimed. This time, a proper threat—not the ground.
Slow as it was, a bolt whizzing by its head would spook it. "If I accidentally kill it…"
Might feel a twinge of guilt. I targeted the side of its head as it inched closer. The moment it took a step, I fired without hesitation.
Twang!
The bolt grazed perilously close to its head. Even brushing death, its face stayed chill. Did it not realize? Or too slow to care? Now it felt brazen—I let out a hollow chuckle.
"This ain't working."
Threats were out. Needed to wound it to get through. Frog hunt was delayed enough. Steel myself, aim for the shoulder. Bolt loaded. Fire.
"Don't come back."
No hesitation—I'd given plenty of chances.
Twang!
The bolt flew straight. Dead on for the shoulder. Even an owl bear would've rampaged from one hit. Thinner hide? Penetration guaranteed.
Yeah. That's how it should've gone.
Whoosh!
If the sloth hadn't twisted aside at the last second. Dodged right before impact. Not slow—agile.
"Huh?"
I blurted like an idiot, witnessing it live. Did I just see a sloth dodge a bolt?
Reality too absurd. Shake it off, reload fast. That was luck. Too slow, I misjudged. Re-aim.
Twang!
Dodge!
No illusion—it evaded again, nimble as hell. But the real kicker? It resumed its plodding approach like nothing happened.
"……Dangerous."
I narrowed my eyes, on guard. No underestimating this. It saw the bolt and dodged. Casually. Bolt speed's too fast for human eyes to track and react.
Who could dodge a bolt visually?
Isn't that hard af? Answer without Cheonma or SwordTasteStar.
YasaengGrill
└Cheonma: Why exclude this lady?
└YasaengGrill: Knew you'd just say it's easy.
└Cheonma: You know me well. Proud.
└SwordTasteStar: It's pretty easy actually. Just see it and dodge.
└YasaengGrill: Whew…
└Not "see and dodge"—predict the path.
└Yeah, watch the archer's hands. Makes it doable.
└Bullshit easy lol Archer releases, it's embedded instantly.
└Those saying easy probably have shields lol
└Busted lol
└Why ask?
└YasaengGrill: Sloth saw and dodged the bolt.
└???
└????
└Wtf you on about?
└YasaengGrill: Wish it was BS.
Gallery said the same—impossible for normal eyes. Nobody believed the sloth part.
"I saw it and still don't believe it."
Meanwhile, it closed to about 10 meters. Too close to visually dodge reliably. I aimed my loaded crossbow. Proven dangerous—no more mercy.
"Head this time."
Fired instantly. Bolt screamed toward its skull. Direct hit would've been fatal.
But this was the Four Seasons Forest. Home to freakish flora and fauna.
Thwap!
"……Holy shit. Insane."
The sloth snatched the incoming bolt mid-air with its hand. Slowly lowered the hand from its face, stared at me.
Its utterly relaxed expression seemed to say:
Too slow.