The Rebellion of the Ten Eunuchs (4)
“Let go of me! I said let go! This is an imperial decree! You bastard! Are you not afraid of the Emperor’s command?”
“Hey, what’s the kid saying?”
“No idea. Think General Li Jue will understand him?”
Dong Zhuo’s main camp in Xiliang had always overlapped with the traditional lands of the Qiang tribes. Just as people from Liaodong had grown familiar with the Xianbei, the people of Xiliang had grown accustomed to the Qiang. It was only natural, then, that many Qiang soldiers served in the Xiliang army. Even in the modern era, regional dialects across China could be nearly incomprehensible; in this age of severely limited information, it was hardly surprising that Xiliang soldiers—accustomed to the Qiang-inflected speech of their homeland—struggled to understand the Emperor’s words thick with Luoyang dialect.
Regardless, their mission was clear: slip through Zhang Yang’s secret passage, kidnap the boy dressed in silk, and deliver him via another hidden route to General Li Jue, who waited at Mengjin Harbor. The boy’s clothes were made of strange fabrics and colors they had never seen, and his residence looked larger than the mansion of their great elder Dong Zhuo, but these country bumpkins from Xiliang had no way of knowing what any of that meant.
“This way, you idiot! That path leads to Hongnong where General Guo is.”
“General Li or General Guo… does it matter where we dump him? The servants at this kid’s house were gorgeous. Why don’t we just hand him over to our General Guo?”
“The deal was we could do whatever we wanted after the mission. Let’s follow orders for now. General Guo keeps his promises.”
“General Li scares me, though…”
Liu Bian had been born a prince, doted upon by both Emperor and Empress, and had eventually ascended the throne himself. He had never once encountered raw, unfiltered malice. He had never experienced it with a clear mind. The only time he had brushed against terror was when he felt the overwhelming fear of being taken to an unfamiliar place, but he had never imagined that terror would one day be directed at him.
“You wretches! You stand before the Emperor! If you fail to show proper respect, your entire clans will be—”
Thwack!
“Little shit’s too damn loud.”
“Didn’t they say we had to bring the precious young master back safely?”
“Dunno. Must’ve bumped into something.”
“Ah, that makes sense.”
The road ahead was long. Though only a child, the boy had clearly been well-fed; he was heavy enough to burden the Xiliang soldier carrying him. Lugging heavy cargo through underground tunnels quickly turned into irritation. Irritation became violence. For the first time in his life, Emperor Liu Bian came face to face with malice-driven brutality.
“Aaaagh! It hurts!”
“Keep screaming and I’ll keep hitting you. Got it, brat? Shut your mouth.”
He couldn’t understand their words, but violence has always been a universal language. Liu Bian quickly learned what they wanted. Stay quiet and no fists flew. Speak even a single word and a fist would slam into his armpit. The lymph nodes there were extremely sensitive, and in this era a man would never expose his armpits to others. It was the Xiliang soldiers’ favorite method of torment.
After winding through the twisting tunnels, the two Qiang men finally met Li Jue’s cavalry.
“General Li! As ordered—argh!”
“General Li? Aaaagh!”
“How did bandits reach all the way to Mengjin Harbor?”
“…?! General Li! How did these men come from over there?”
“How should I know? They were kidnapping someone, so I shot them with arrows. Figured we should check if they’re worth saving.”
“O-oh! Your Imperial Majesty! How have you come to this place alone?!”
“The Emperor…? What?! His Imperial Majesty?!”
“Long live His Imperial Majesty! Long live! Ten thousand years!”
“Who… who are you people?”
“We are generals serving Inspector Dong Zhuo of Liang Province. When General Dong was summoned to Luoyang, we remained here at Mengjin Harbor just in case. We saw what looked like filthy barbarians kidnapping civilians and shot them on sight.”
“Thank goodness! What a relief! General Dong is truly the most loyal subject in the realm! You there—what is your name?”
“This humble subject is Li Jue of Liang Province. My courtesy name is Qiyan.”
“I see. General Li, can you escort me back to the imperial palace? I will never forget your loyalty.”
“That is…”
“Is there a problem?”
“My troops have not yet finished crossing the Yellow River. We will need at least three days.”
“Does that make any sense?! What could possibly be more important than returning the Emperor to his palace?!”
“This subject, Li Qiyan, has never before seen His Majesty’s august countenance. I have no way of confirming whether you are truly the Emperor or a rebel with wicked intentions. Therefore, splitting my forces would be unwise.”
“Nonsense! The boatman Jiang Yi over there can vouch for my identity. We do not know how many more traitors may lurk within the palace. We must move as quickly as possible.”
“He is right! General Li, although I serve as boatman, my true duty is to protect His Imperial Majesty’s—argh!”
Without changing expression, Li Jue drew the blade at his waist and slashed the boatman. It was the most extreme violence Liu Bian had ever witnessed in his young life. Hot blood sprayed across the sky and splattered his face. The strange, fishy warmth of it soaked into his skin.
“I told you to wait. Why the hell don’t you listen? Do I look like some random villager who doesn’t know your face?”
“G-General Li…?”
“Kid, are you really this slow on the uptake? You don’t understand what I’m saying? Are you an idiot?”
“Hup!”
“We wait. Understand?”
“Zhang Yang used sorcery to escape! This clearly means other eunuchs aided him. Arrest every eunuch within the palace and exterminate their entire clans!”
““Yes, sir!””
Zhang Yang, who had gone to meet his son, had cut down Yuan Shao’s surveillance team and Dong Zhuo’s men before fleeing. Thanks to Dong Zhuo’s testimony that the wound was not life-threatening, Yuan Shao learned the truth. The rage he felt at Zhang Yang repaying benevolence with enmity pierced the heavens. He gathered all his Clean Stream faction colleagues and marched toward the palace.
“Halt! This is the imperial palace! How dare you, Colonel of the Central Army, carry a sword and attempt to violate the palace grounds!”
“Zhang Yang! We have received a report that the traitor who tried to assassinate the Grand General is hiding here! If you do not open the gates immediately, we will assume all you eunuchs are in league with him and exterminate your clans as well!”
“Y-you—! Yuan Shao! Attack! Kill the traitor Yuan Shao!”
“Break down the gates and purge the eunuchs plotting rebellion! This is the command of Colonel Yuan Shao of the Central Army!”
He Jin’s near-assassination had not enraged only Yuan Shao. The Clean Stream faction led by Yuan Shao and Lu Zhi, the Grand General faction led by Cao Cao and Yuan Shu, the Dirty Stream faction that followed the Grand General’s line but kept some distance from the Ten Eunuchs, and even the eunuchs who had lost their power struggle against the Ten—all of them boiled with fury. He Jin had been a celebrity connected to every faction in Luoyang. He had been the final safety pin preventing all those forces from hurling themselves into civil war. Once that pin was pulled, the bomb was destined to explode.
With Yuan Shao and Yuan Shu—the two pillars of the Yuan clan, the greatest noble house in the Han—at their head, tens of thousands of elite soldiers gathered. The imperial palace in Luoyang fell in less than half a day after ministers of the Dirty Stream faction inside threw the gates wide open.
“Find the Emperor! Kill the eunuchs!”
“Root out the Ten Eunuchs who brought chaos to the realm!”
Consumed by rage, they wielded clubs instead of swords. They swung at every man who looked like a eunuch—or rather, at every beardless person. Young civil officials whose beards had not yet grown were forced to suffer the humiliation of dropping their trousers to prove their innocence. The imperial city, occupied by tens of thousands of rioters, did not see its lights extinguished for several days.
And on the third day after the attack on Grand General He Jin, Yuan Shao—who had searched the palace from top to bottom—finally realized that the Emperor had already vanished.
Luoyang and Liaodong were far apart. Incredibly far. Even by modern standards it took a full day by plane, several days by train or car. In this era… six days by ship, ten days on horseback, fifteen days on foot. It was simply an absurd distance. The only way to shorten the journey significantly was to sail across the Western Sea—no, the Yellow Sea—but there were not many ships capable of such a voyage at this time. What few ocean-going vessels existed had all been bought up by the salt merchants of Liaodong. It was only natural that news from Luoyang would take weeks to arrive.
To the Governor of Liaodong, Gongsun Zan.
This is Liu Yu, Inspector of You Province. The situation in Luoyang has grown critical.
Upon receiving this letter, immediately raise troops and protect His Highness the Prince of Bohai.
Should anything happen to me, I entrust the office of Inspector of You Province to Gongsun Baigyu. I leave it in your hands.
— Extremely Urgent Dispatch
“…”
“Colonel? Is something wrong?”
I couldn’t be sure. Countless thoughts flashed through my mind, but there were so many possibilities that even with phrases like urgent and must read immediately attached, it was hard to pinpoint exactly what the crisis was.
“Prepare the ships. Issue mobilization orders to the men.”
“Sir?!”
“Looks like something’s blown up in Luoyang again. The 1st Regiment will sail with me to the Prince of Bohai’s residence and escort His Highness. Once there we’ll learn what happened to Inspector Liu and prepare to strike Luoyang depending on the situation.”
Combat plans should always be drawn up with the worst-case scenario in mind. Back when I was in the military, we always kept one operational plan针对 the United States on hand. Even if it was unrealistic, the difference between having a plan and not having one for the day the U.S. President suddenly went insane and declared war on the world was enormous.
“Tell the research team to pull out the red contingency plan. The 1st Regiment leaves with me immediately. Ready?”
“Could you give us one day? It’s harvest season, so many men are on leave.”
“Didn’t the threshing machines reduce the labor needed?”
“They were only distributed this year, so quite a few soldiers requested leave in advance just in case. Most of them are probably just drinking nearby since there’s no work to do. If you give us one day, we can bring the 1st Regiment to full strength.”
“…Fine. The 4th Infantry Regiment will advance to Changli and complete combat readiness at Flower Fortress. The 2nd Regiment will march overland to the Prince of Bohai’s residence. The 3rd Cavalry Regiment will make sure the northern horse-riding bastards don’t get any funny ideas.”
“Yes, sir.”
It looked like I would have to break out the Jincheonroe. We had dug up quite a lot of the stored stuff over time, enough to give ten to each of my most trusted men. I might be able to use them differently than the improvised responses I’d relied on until now.
“Tsk… I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.”
It was all because Hualian noona had said that weird emperor-versus-emperor nonsense… The men’s eyes looked strange now. At this rate I might get reported as a traitor.