Chapter 8. They're All the Same
Chapter 8. They're All the Same
Zzzzt—
I wanted to kill them.
That one blind thought dominated my mind.
No other circumstances came to mind.
I reached my hand out slightly and fired the Blue Lightning gathered at my fingertips.
Before those bastards could even register my presence, my lightning bolt flew and struck them.
Kwarung—!
A bright blue flash filled the narrow alley.
The Electric Shock eventually focused on one bastard holding a piece of metal.
Holding that metal in his hand was his fatal mistake.
"Ughhh...!"
The bastard, having become a human lightning rod, couldn't even let out a final scream.
The current traveled up the metal he was holding, instantly burning every cell in his body.
The stench of burning protein hit me in an instant.
It was a smell that would have made me gag just a short while ago, but now, I felt nothing.
The rest of the bastards jumped in surprise and looked back.
That was their final action.
One shot. Another shot.
Every time the Blue Lightning fiercely swept through the alley, the bastards fell like dead leaves.
There was also a bastard trying to run away with his back turned.
He ran for his life, but by the laws of physics, no human could exist who was faster than an Electric Shock that converged on the speed of light.
Just by flicking my wrist lightly, the trajectory of the lightning twisted.
As I thought, it bent like a snake, split, and struck with precision.
It was extremely natural, as if it were an extension of my own limbs.
How many seconds had passed? Only acrid smoke and a terrible silence remained in the alley.
The usual level-up message appeared coldly before my eyes and then vanished.
Killing people was easy. It was absurdly easy.
Or was it? Did I actually kill people? Are those pieces of trash even human?
If back then I was just vomiting it out crazily, overcome with rage, this time it was thoroughly controlled.
Who to attack, which part to send it to, how much voltage to load.
The lightning moved according to my will, as if I had known how to use this power since I was born.
Even though it was my first time using this power.
Even though no one taught me.
It doesn't matter if what I killed was a human or a monster.
What's important is that it's 'easy'. Strangely so.
Looking down at the blue afterglow fading from my fingertips, I was suddenly seized by a strange, alien feeling.
It was a destructive power that I ought to fear.
A power that could kill people this easily.
But I wasn't scared.
Rather, it felt comfortable, like holding a tool I had been used to for a long time.
As if my body had been made for this from the very beginning.
That fact was even more chilling, but even that was just for a moment.
Anyway, emotions like fear were things I left behind in the plaza that night along with So-hee.
The survivors who had been cornered against the wall were looking at me.
Those pathetic humans who were on the verge of death just a moment ago.
What was contained in their eyes was fear.
Not a single bit different from the fear they felt toward the bastards who were just about to slaughter them.
No, a much deeper, more essential, absolute terror.
It was understandable.
I was a guy who had burned several people to a crisp in the blink of an eye.
Because there was no guarantee anywhere that I was on their side.
"...Mo, monster."
Someone muttered in a trembling voice.
It was Japanese, but I could clearly understand the stigma of them muttering 'monster'.
As if that one word was the trigger, they screamed and scattered in all directions.
Away from me. From the very person who had just saved their lives.
What was I expecting? Did I think they would shed tears and thank me for saving them?
In the midst of that, a young child being led by their mother's hand looked back.
We made eye contact, the child's eyes filled with fear, yet somehow unfocused.
For a moment, a corner of my chest rippled ever so slightly.
...What was this feeling?
Something I seemed to have lost a long time ago.
A warm yet aching sensation.
The child soon disappeared from view, dragged away by their mother.
That small ripple soon sank below the surface.
I just stood blankly in that blood-reeking spot.
I didn't even wish for words of thanks.
It wasn't a good deed done for others in the first place.
But seeing them run away with such looks of disgust, an inexplicable emptiness welled up from the bottom of my heart.
'...Well, doesn't matter.'
Yeah. It doesn't matter.
It wasn't like I did it to save anyone anyway.
I just wanted to stop that disgusting laughter.
I just wanted to smash those faces, the same ones as the bastards who killed So-hee.
That was all.
Again, I walked aimlessly.
Wherever my feet took me.
I wandered like a ghost among the ruins where neither people nor monsters had any meaning.
The sun rose and set, and rose again.
During that time, I thought of almost nothing.
If I thought, So-hee would come to mind, and if So-hee came to mind, I couldn't bear it.
So I just walked with my head completely empty.
When I was hungry, I rummaged through collapsed shops and put anything in my mouth, and when I was tired, I collapsed anywhere and closed my eyes.
Eating, sleeping, living.
I just did as my body told me; there was no meaning or value in it.
Sometimes I encountered beasts that had changed, or people wandering like me.
I killed everything that attacked me, and I just left alone those who avoided me.
Either way, there was no big difference in the result.
Because the ones who ran away later brought larger groups and attacked.
The cold thing inside me just became a little heavier and harder each time that happened.
I wondered if living like this was really living, but it wasn't like I wanted to die either.
Dying in vain like this felt like something I'd be even more sorry to So-hee for.
So I just lived because I couldn't die.
Then, one day.
An alley I'd never seen, an unfamiliar street.
A terribly familiar sound heard again from there.
The perpetrator's giggling laughter, terrified screams, desperate cries.
'...Starting again, I see.'
With a weary heart, I slowly turned the corner.
And I froze in place.
They were familiar faces.
The very people I had saved in the alley a few days ago.
The ones who had been cornered against the wall, trembling.
The ones who called me a monster after I saved them by killing people.
It was definitely them.
But now, the positions were completely reversed.
They were surrounding a young female student and an old person who looked much weaker than them.
Perhaps they had adapted to the power of the system; they too were already outside the spectrum of normal humans.
Just like the vicious position they were in a few days ago, they were holding weapons and swinging them violently at the weak.
I couldn't exactly understand what vulgar things they were spouting.
But I could tell even without an interpreter.
Just by looking at those excited and greedy expressions.
'...They're trying to level up.'
They had barely survived. Before that relief had even faded, they were already out looking for prey weaker than themselves.
They were committing the exact same acts they had suffered yesterday, without any hesitation.
My mind went blank.
I saved them.
I kept them alive.
I saw So-hee overlapping in their image.
The violence that killed So-hee in that image. The violence that made them tremble yesterday.
Today, they were returning it exactly as it was to someone else.
...Ah.
Only then did I feel like I understood. No, I had no choice but to admit it.
In a way, that might be wise in a world like this.
They kill because they don't want to die. Because they want to live more than anyone else.
In this world, there were no perpetrators or victims.
There were no good guys, no pitiful guys. They were just all the same bastard beasts.
If given the chance, anyone stands on the side of the taker.
Yesterday's pitiful victim becomes today's cruel perpetrator.
That was the true bottom of the creature called human.
At least in this crazy, apocalyptic world.
The bastards who killed So-hee.
The ones I saved.
And perhaps, even me.
'...They're all... the same....'
I once believed in people.
I believed that faith would be repaid and a greater solidarity would form.
But that was a weak, greenhouse fairy tale that only worked when the world was normal.
Because strong laws, regulations, and rules were enforced, and those who enforced them were stronger than themselves, they were hiding their fangs under the hypocrisy called 'socialization'.
Once that thin shell was peeled away, underneath were all the same ugly beasts.
Once I realized that, my heart actually felt more at ease.
So-hee, too... was destined to die in the end.
Because she was a noble person who was brighter, warmer, and cared for others before herself more than anyone else.
Even if it hadn't been that night in the plaza, living in a world like this would have been torture and hell for her every single moment.
Things like good and evil no longer existed in this world.
Now that the rules were gone, only one thing remained.
The strong and the weak. The taker and the taken.
And I was no longer on the side of the taken.
That cold thing in my chest had completely taken hold.
I finally knew exactly what this was. 'Killing intent'.
That small ripple, that emptiness, that thing similar to guilt.
It all sank beneath that coldness.
Value to save, reason to kill. Such things never existed in the first place.
If it's annoying, I just clear it away. Anything that's an eyesore. Everything.
...That was enough.
After losing So-hee, I learned one thing.
If you want to protect something in this world, there is only one way.
Destroying all threats around what you want to protect first.
Because the moment you hesitate, you get taken from again. Like that miserable night.
I don't know what I should protect yet.
Because the universe I had to protect has already disappeared.
But if I ever have something to protect again, I will never, ever be taken from again.
To do that, I will become overwhelmingly strong, enough that no one can dare approach, even if it means becoming a devil.
Blue sparks fiercely crackled at my fingertips again.
This time, there was no hesitation.
I didn't even bother to distinguish who was the perpetrator and who was the victim.
I was just going to clear away everything that caught my eye.